Faber and Faber (London: 1939) II.1§1

First edition, first printing (details)

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Everyº evening at lighting up o'clock sharp and until further notice in |shFeenichts Playhousesh|. |sh(Barº and conveniencesº always open, Diddlem Club douncestears.)ºsh| Entrancings: gads, a scrab; the quality, one large shilling. Newly billed for each wickeday perfumance. Somndoze massinees. By arraignment, childream's hours, expercatered. Jampots, rinsed porters, taken in tokenº. With nightlyº redistribution of parts and players by the puppetry producer and daily dubbing of ghosters, withº the benediction of the Holy Genesius Archimimus and under the distinguished patronage of theirº Eldershipsº the Oldens from the four coroners of Findrias, Murias, Gorias and Falias,º Messoirs the |shCoarbs,ºsh| Clive Sollis, Galorius Kettle, Pobiedo Lancey and Pierre Dusort, |shwhileº the Caesar-in-Chief looks.| |shSennetsh|. As played to the Adelphi by the Brothers Bratislavoff (Hyrcan and Haristobulus),º after humpteen dumpteen revivals. Before all the King'sº Hoarsers with all the Queen'sº Mum. And wordloosed over seven seas crowdblast in certelleneteutoslavzendlatinsoundscriptº. In four tubbloids. While fern may cald us until firn make cold. The Mime of Mick,º Nick and the Maggies, adopted from the Ballymooney Bloodriddon Murtherº by Bluechin Blackdillainº (authorwaysºBig Storeyº), featuring:

glugg (Mr Seumas McQuilladº,º |shhear the riddles between the robot in his dress circular and the gagster in the rogues' gallerysh|), the bold badº bleak boy of the storybooks,º who, when the tabs go
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, as we discover, because he knew to mutch, has been divorced intoº disgrace court by

the floras (Girl Scouts from St. Bride'sº Finishing Establishment,º demand acidulateds),º a month's bunch of pretty maidens who, while they pick on her,º their pet peeve, form with valkyrienne licence the guard for

izod (Miss Butys Pott,º |shask the attendantess for a leafletsh|), a bewitching blonde who dimples delightfully and is approached in loveliness only by her grateful sisterº reflection in a mirror,º the cloud of the opal, who,º having jilted Glugg, is being fatally fascinated by

chuff (Mr Sean O'Mailey,º |shsee the chalk and sanguine pictograph on the safety dropsh|), the fine frank fairhairedº fellow of the fairytales,º who wrestles for tophole with the bold badº bleak boyº Gluggº geminally about caps or puds or tog bags or bog gats or chuting rudskin gunerally or somethingº until they adumbrace a pattern of somebody else or other, after which they are both carried off the set and brought home to be wellº soaped, spongedº and scrubbed again by

ann (Miss Corrie Corriendo, Grischun scoula,º |shbring the babes,sh| Pieder, Poder and Turtey, she mistributes mandamus monies,º after perdunamento, hendrud aloven entrees, pulcinellis must not miss our national rooster's rag), their poor little old mother-in-lieu,º who is woman of the house, playing opposite to

hump (Mr Makeall Gone,º |shread the sayings from |shLaxdalesagaºsh| in the programmesh| |shabout King Ericus of Schweden and the spirit's whispers in his magical helmetsh|), cap-a-pipe with watch and topper,º coat, crest and supporters, the cause of all |shour grievances, the whirl,º the flash and the troublesh|, who, having partially recovered from a recent impeachmentº due to egg everlasting,º but throughandthoroughly proconverted, propounded for cyclological,º is, studdingº sail once more, jibsheets and royals, in the semblance of the substance for the membrance of the umbrance with the remnanceº of the emblence reveiling a quemdam supercargo, of The Rockery, Poopinheavin,º engaged in entertaining in his pilgrimst customhouse at Caherlehome-upon-Eskur those statutory persons
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the customers (Components of the Afterhourº Courses at St.º Patricius' Academy for Grownup Gentlemen,º consult the annuary, coldporters sibsuction), a bundle of a dozen of representative |shlocomotivesh| civics, each inn quest of outings,º who are still more sloppily served after every cup final by

saunderson (Mr Knut Oelsvinger,º Tiffsdays off, wouldntstopº in bad, |shimitation of flatfish, torchbearing supperaape, dud halfsovereign, no chee daily, rolly pollsies, Glen of the Downsº,sh| the Gugnir, his geyswerks, his earsequack, his lokistroki, o.s.v.), a scherinsheiner and spoilcurate, unconcerned in the mystery but under the inflounce of the milldieuw and butt of

kate (Miss Rachel Lea Varian,º |shshe tells forkings for baschfellors, under |shpurdahsh| of |shcard palmersh| teaput tosspot |shMadam d'Elta,sh| during the pawsessh|), kook-and-dishdrudge, whitch believes wanthingthats, whouse be the churchyard or whorts up the aasgaarsº, the show must go on.

Time: the pressant.

With futurist one-horseº balletbattle pictures and the Pageant of Past History worked up with animal variations amid everglaningº mangrovemazes andº beorbtracktors by Messrs Thud and Blunderº. |shShadows by the film folk, massesº by the good| |shPromptings by Elanio Vitale. Longshots, upcloses, outblacks and stagetolets by Hexenschuss, Coachmaher, Incubone and| |shCreationssh| tastefully designed by Madame Berthe Delamode. Dances arranged by Harley Quinn and Coollimbeina. Jests, jokes, jigs and jorums for the Wake lent from the properties of |shthe late cementedsh| Mr T. M. Finnegan R.I.C. Lipmasks and hairwigs by Ouida Nooikke. Limes |shand Floodssh| by Crooker and Toll. |shKopay pibe by Kappa| |shHoed Pine hat |shwith twentyfour ventholessh| by| Bosse and stringbag from Heteroditheroe'sº and All Ladies' presentsº. Tree taken for grafted. Rock rent. Phenecian blends and Sourdanian doofpoosts by Shauvesourishe and Wohntbedarft. The oakmulberryeke with silktrick twomesh from Shop-Sowryº, seedsmanchapº. Grabstone beg from General Orders Mailed. The crack |sh(that's Cork!º)sh| by a |shsmoker from the godssh|.º |shThe interjection (Buckley!º) by the firementº
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in the| |shAccidental music providentially arranged by L'Archetº and| Melodiotiosities in purefusion by the score. |shTo start with in the beginning, we need hirtly bemark, a community prayer, everyone for himself, and to conclude with as an exodus, we think it well to add, a chorale in canon, good for us all for us all us all| |shSongs betune the acts by the ambiamphions of |shAnnapolissh|, Joan Mock-Comicº, male soprano, and Jean Souslevin, bass noble, respectively: O, Mester Sogermonº, ef thes es whot ye deux, then l'mº not surpleasedsh| |shye want that bottle of Sauvequipeuºsh| and Oh Off Nunch Der Rasche Ver Lasse Mitsch Nitschtº. Till the summit scenes of climbacks castastrophear,º The Bearded Mountainº (Polymop Baretherootsch),º and The River Romps to Nursery (Maidykins in Undiform). The whole thugogmagog, including the portions understood to be oddmitted as the results of the respective titulars neglecting to produce themselves, to be wound up for an afterenactment by a Magnificent Transformation Scene showing the Radium Wedding of Neid and Moorning and the Dawn of Peaceº, Pure, Perfect and Perpetual, Waking the Weary of the World.

An argument follows.