Houyhnhnm Press (Mousehole: 2010) III.2§A

Edited by Danis Rose and John O'Hanlon (details)

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Jaunty Jaun, as I wasº shortly before that made aware, next halted to fetch a breath,º the first |shcothurminoussh| leg of his nightstride being pulled through,º and to loosen (let God's son now be looking down on toº the poor preambler!) both of his bruised brogues,º that were plainly made a good bit before his hosen were, at the weir by Lazar's Walk (for far and wide, as large as he was lively, was he noted for his humane treatment of any kind of abused footgear),º a matter of maybe nine score or so barrelhours'º distance off,º as truly he merited to do. He was there,º you could planimetricallyº see, when I took a closer look at him, that was to say, amply (graciousº helpings, at this rate of growing our cotted child of yestereve will soon fill space and burst in systems, so speeds the instant!)º altered for the brighter thoughº still the graven image of his squarer self as he was used to be, perspiring but happy notwithstanding his foot was still asleep on him,º the way he thought, by the holy januarious, he had a bullock's hoof in his buskin, with his halluxes so splendid, through Ireland untranscended, bigmouthed poesther, propped up, restant,º against a butterblond warden of the peace, one comestabulish Sigurdsen (and where a better than such exsearfaceman to rest from roving the laddyown he bootblacked?),º who, buried upright like the Osbornes, kozydozy, had tumbled slumbersomely on sleep at night duty behind the curing station, equilebriated amid the embracings of a monopolisedº bottle.

Now, there were as many as twentynine hedgedaughtersº out of Benent Saint Berched's national nightschool (for they seemed to remember how it was still a once-upon-a-four year) learning their antemeridianº lesson of life, under its tree, against its warning, beseatedº as they wereº upon the brinkspondy, attracted to the rarerust sight of the first human yellowstone landmarkº (the bear, the boer, the king of all boors, Sirº Humphrey his knave we met on the moors!) while they paddled away, keeping time magnetically with their eight and fifty pedalettes, playing foolyfoolº jouay allo misto posto,
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O so Jaonickallyº, all barely in their typtap teens, describing a charming dactylogram of nocturnesº though repelled by the snores of the log who looked stuck to the sod as ever and oft, when liquefied (vil!),º he murmoaned abasourdly in his Dutchener's native, visibly unmoved, over his treasure trove for the crown: Dotter dead bedstead mean diggy smuggy flasky!º

Jaunº (after he had in the first place doffed a hat with a reinforced crown and bowed to all the others in that chorus of praiseº of goodwill girls on their best beehiviour who all they were girls all rushing sowarmly for the post as buzzy as sie could bie to read his kisshands, kitteringº all about, rushing and making a tremendous girlsfuss over him pellmale|sh, their jeune premier,ºsh| and his rosyposy smile, mussing his frizzy hair and the gollywogº curls of him, all butº that one, Findrina'sº fairest, done in loveletters like a trayful of cloudberry tartlets (|shain't they fine, mighty, mighty fineº and honoured?sh|) and smilingly smelling, pair and pair about, broad by bread and slender to slimmer, the nice perfumios that came cunvy apeelingº off him (nice!) which was angelic simply, savouring of wild thyme and parsley jumbled with breadcrumbs (O nice!) asinging to his stamen and apetting of his pistilº and feeling his full fat pouch for him so tactily and jingaling his jellybags,º for |shthoughº he looked a young chapplieº of sixtineº they could frole by his manhood thatsh| he was just the killingest ladykiller all by kindness,º asking kindlily (hillo, missies!) after their howareyous at all with those of their dollybegs, andº where's Agatha's lamb? and how are Bernadetta's columbillasº? and Julienna'sº |shtubberbunniessh|? and Eulalina's tuggerfunnies?)º nextº went on (finefeelingfit!) to drop a few stray remarks anent their personal appearances and the contrary tastes displayed in their tight kittycasques and their smart frickyfrockies, asking coy one after sloy one had she read Irish legginds and gently reproving one that the ham of her hom could be seen below her hem and whispering another aside,º as lavariant,º that the hook of her hum was open a bittock at her back,º to have a side-eyeº to that, hom,º andº all of course just to fill up a form out of pure human kindness and in a sprite of fun, forº Jaun, by the way, was byº way of becoming (I think, I hope he was) the most purely human being that ever was called man, |shloving all up and down the whole creation from Sampson's tyke to Jones'ssh| |shsprat and from the kingº of all Wrenns down to infewseriessh|.º

º Jaun, after those few prelimbs,º made out through his eroscope the apparition of his fond sister Izzy,º for he knowed his love by her waves of splabashing and she showed him proof by her way of blubushingº, norº could he forget her so tarnelly easy as all that since he was brotherbesides her benedict godfather and heaven knows he thought the world and his life of her sweet heart could buy (brao!),º poor, good, true, Jaun!º
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— Sister dearest, Jaun delivered himself with express cordiality, marked by clearance of diction and general delivery, as he began to take leave of his scholasticaº at once so as to gain time with deep affection, we honestly believe you soeurlyº will miss us the moment we exit yet we feel as a martyr to the dischurch of all duty that it is about time, by Great Harry,º we would shove off to stray on our long last journey and not be the load on ye. This is the gross proceeds of your teachings in which we were raised, you, Sisº, that used to write to us the exceeding nice letters for presentation and would be telling us anun (full well do we wont to recall to mind) thy oldworld tales of homespinning and derringdo and dieobscure and daddyho, thoseº tales which reliteratelyº whiskedº oftº our heart so narrated by thou, gesweest, to perfection, our pet pupil of the whole rhythmetic class and the mainsay of our erigenalº house,º the time we younkers twain were fairly tossing ourselves (O Phoebus! O Pollux!) in bed, having been laid up with Castor's oil on the Parrish's syrup (the night we wellº remember) for to share our hard suite of affections with thee.

I rise, Oº fair assemblage! Andcommincio. Now then, after this introit of exordium, my galaxy girls, quiproquo of directions to henservants I was asking his advice on the strict T.T. from Father Mike, P.P.,º my orational dominican and |shconfessor doctorsh| C.C.D.D. (buy theº birds, |shas he yerked me under the ribssh|º he was sayingº sermon in an offrand way and confidencesº petween peesº like ourselves in so and soº many nuncupiscent words about how he had justº been confarreating teat-à-teatº with two viragos intactas andº what an awful life he led, poorish priced, |shuttering mass for a coppall of geldingssh| and whatº a lawful day it was, there and then, for a consommation with an effusion and how, by all the manny larries ate pignatties, how, |shhellº in tummiessh|º, he'd marry me flyingº any old buckling time asº quick as he'd look at me),º and I am giving youth now again in words of style, byaway of offertory,º his andº mikeadvice, an it place the person, as, ereº |shhe retook him to his curesh|, those verbs he said to me. |shFrom| The most eminent bishop titular of Dubloonik to all his purtybusses in Dellabelliney.º Come all ye dimsel damselsº, siddle down and lissle all! Follow me close! Keep me in view! Understeady me saries! Which is to all practising massoeusesº from a preaching freer and be a gentleman without a duster before a parlourmade without a spitch.º Where the lisieuse are we and what'sº the first sing to be sung? |shIs it rubrics, mandarimus, pasqualinesº or verdidads is in itº or the bruiselividsh| indecoresº |shof estreme voyoulence and, for the lover of lithurgy,sh| bekant or besant, |shwhere's the fate's to be wished for?sh| Several sindays after whatsintime. I'll sack that sick server the minute I bless him. That's the mokst I can do for his grapce. |shEconomy of movementsh|,
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axe why said. I've a hopesome's choice if I chouse of all the |shsinkts in the colander. Fromsh| the common for Ignitiousº Purpalume |shtosh| the proper of |shFranciscoº Ultramare, last of scorchers, third of snows, in terrorgammonsº| Here she'sº is a belleº, that's wares in heaven, virginwhite, Undetrigesima,º vikissy manonna. Doremous!º

º Now. During our brief apsence from this furtive feugtig season adhere to as many as probable of the ten commandments |shtouching purgations and indulgencessh| and in the long run they will prove for your better guidance along your path of right of way.º The same or similar to be kindly observed within the affianced dietcess of Gay O'Toole and Gloamy Gwenn du Lake |sh(Danish spoken!)sh| from Manducare Monday up till farrier's siesta in china dominos. Words taken in triumph, |shmy sweet assistancesh|, from the sufferant pen of our jocosus inkerman militant of the reed behind the ear.

Never miss your lostsomewhere mass for the couple in Myles you butrose to brideworship. Never hate mere pork which is bad for your knife of a good friday. Never let a hog of the howth trample underfoot your linen of Killiney. Never play lady's game for the Lord's stake. Never lose your heart away till you win his diamond back. Makeº a strong point of never kicking up your rumpus over the scroll end of sofas in the Dar Bey Coll Cafeteria by tootling risky apropos songs at commercial travellers' smokersº for their columbianº nights entertainmentsº the like of White limbs they never stop teasing or Minxy was a Manxmaid when Murry woreº a Manº. And, by the bun, is it you goes bisbuiting His Esaus and Cos and then throws them bag in the box?º Why,º the tin's nearly empty. First,º thou shalt not smile.º Twice,º thou shalt not love. Lust, thou shalt not commix idolatry. |shHip confinerssh| help compunction. Never park your brief stays in the men's convenience. Never clean your buttoncups with your dirty pair of sassers. Never ask his first person where's your quickest cut to our last place. Never let the promising hand usemake free of your oncemaid sacral. The soft side of the axe! |shA coil of cord, a colleen coy, a blush on a bush turned first man's laughter into wailful moither. O foolish cuppled! Ah, dice's error!sh| Never dip in the ern while you've browsers on your suite. Never slip the silver key through your gate of golden age.º |shCollide with mansh|, collude with money. Ere you sail foreget my prize. |shWhenº you truss be circumspiciousº and all ways lookº before you leak,| Never christen medlardº apples till a swithin is in sight.º Wet your thistle where a weed is and you'll rue it,º despyneediesº. Especially beware,º please,º of being at a party to any demoralisingº home life. That saps a chap.º Keep cool faith in the firm,º have warm hoep in the house and begin frem athome to be chary of charity. Where it is nobler in the main to supperº than the boys and errors of outrager's virtue. |shGive back those
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stolen kissessh|; restaure those allcotten glooves. Recollect the yella perals that |shall too oftensh| beset green gerils, Rhidarhoda and Daradora, once they get hobbyhorsical, playingº breeches parts for Bessy Sudlow in fleshcoloured pantos instead of earthing down in the coalhole trying to boil the big Gunne'sº dinner. Leg-before-Wicked lags-behind-Wall where here Mr Whicker whacked a great fall. Femorafamilla feeled it a candleliked but Hayes, Conyngham and Erobinson sware it's an egg. Forglim mick aye! Stay, forestand and tillgive it!º Remember the biter's bitters Iº shed the |shvigilsh| I buried our Harlotte Quaiº from poor Mrs Mangain's of Britain Court on the feast of Marie Maudlin. |shAh,º who would wipe her weeper dry and lead her to the haltarº?sh| Sold in her heyday, laid in the straw, bought for one puny petunia. Moral:º if you can't point a lily get to henna out of here!º Put your swell foot foremost onº foulardy pneumonia shertwaists, irriconcilible with true fiminin risirvition,º and ribbons of lace,º limenick's disgrace. Sure, what is it on the whole only holes tied together and the merestº transparent washingtones to make Languid Lola's lingery longer? |shScenta Clauthes stiffstuffs your hose and heartsies full of| Vanity flee and Verity fear! Diobell! Whalebones and buskbutts may hurt you (thwackaway thwuck!) but never lay bare your breast secret (dickette's place!) to joy a Jonas in the Dolphin's Barncar with your meetual fan,º Doveyed Covetfilles,º comepulsing paynattention spasms between the averthisment for Ulikah's wine and |sha pair of pulldoonsº of the old cupiosity shapesh|. There you'll fix your eyes darkled on the autocart of the bringfast cable but here till you'reº martimorphysed please sit still face to face. For if the shorth of your skorth falls down to his knees pray how wrong will he look till he rises? Not before Gravesend is commuted. But now reappears Autist Algy, the pulcherman and |shwould-do performersh|, |sholeas Mrº Smuth,sh| stated by the |shvice crusaderssh| to be well known to all the |shdallytauntiessh| in and near the ciudad of Buellas Arias, taking you to the playguehouse to see the Smirchingsº of Venus,º introducing you, |shleftº to right the party comprises,ºsh| to hogarths andº asking |shwith whispered offerssh| in a very low bearded voice, withº a nice little tiny manner and in a very nice little |shtonysh| way,º won't you be an artist's moral and pose in your nudies as a local esthetic before voluble old mastersº like Bottisillyº and Titteretto and Vergognese and Coraggio,º |shwith their extrahand Mazzaccio,ºsh| |shplus the usual bilker's dozen of dowdycameramensh|º. And the volses of lewd Buylan,º for innocence! And the phyllisophies of Bussup Bulkeley. |shO, the frecklessnessº of the giddies nouveau tays!sh|º |shThere's many's the icepolled globetapperº is haunted by the hottest spot under his equatorsh| |shlike Ramrod, the meaty hunter, always jaeger for a thrustsh|. |shThe back beautifulsh|, the undraped |shdivinesh|!º And Suzy's Moedl's with their Blue Danuboyes! All blah! |shViper's
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vapid vilest!sh| Put off the old man at the very font and get right on with the nuttyº sparker round the back. |shSlip your oval out of touch and let the paravis be your| Up leather, Prunella, |shconvert your trysh|! Stick wicks in your earshells when you hear the prompter's voice. Look on a boa in his beauty and you'll nevermoreº wear your strawberry leaves. Rely on the relic. What bondman ever you bind on earth I'll be bound 'twasº combined in hemel. Keep airly hores and the worm is yores. |shDress the pussysh| for her nighty and follow her piggytails up their way to Winkyland. See little poupeep,º she's firsht ashleep. |shAfter having sat your poetries and you know what happens when chine throws over| Go to doss with the poulterer, |shyou understand,sh| and shake up with the milchmand. The Sully van vultures are on the prowl. And the hailies fingring mariesº. Tobacco'sº tabu and toboggan's a backseatº. Secret satieties and onanymous letters make the great unwatched as bad as their betters. Don't on any account acquire a paunchon for that alltoocommon |shfagbuttsh| habit of frequenting and chumming together with the braces of couples in Mr Tunnelly's hallways |sh(smash it)sh|, wrigglingº with lowcusses and cockchafers and vamps and rodants, inº the end to commit acts of interstipital indecency as between twinetiesº and tapegarters, |shfingerpatssh| on fondlepets, under the couvrefeu act.º It's the thin end,º wedge your steps!º |shYour highpoweredº hefty hoyden thinks nothing of vampingº through a whole suite of smokeless| Three minutes,º I'm counting you!º Woooooon!º No triching now! Give me that when I tell you! |shRagazza ladra!sh| And is that any place to be smuggling his madam's apples up? |shDeceitful| Gee wedge! Begor, I like the way they're half cooked.º Hold, flay, grill, fire that laney feeling for kosenkissing dysgenicallyº within the proscribed limits like Population Peg on a hint or twinº |shclandestinelysh| does be doing to Temptation Tom.º Atkingsº questions in barely and snakking svarewords like a nursemagd. While there's men-a'-warº on the say there'll be loves-o'-womenº on the do. Love |shthrough the usual channelssh|, cisternbrothelly, when properly disinfected and taken neatº in the generable way upon retiring to roost in the company of a husband-in-law or other respectable relative of an apposite sex,º not |shlove that leads by the nosesh| as |shI foresmelltsh| but |shcanalised love, you understand,sh| does a felon good, suspiciously if he has a slugger's liver. Butº I cannot belabour the point too ardently (and after the lessions of experience I speak from inspiration) that fetid spirits is the thief of prurities, so none of your twenty rod cherrywhisks, me daughter,º atº the Cat and Coneyº or |shthe Spotted Dogsh|º. When the night'sº in May and the moon shines might.º And at 2 bisº Lot's Road. When parties get tight for each other they lose all respect together. By the stench of her fizzle and the glib of her gab know the drunken draggletail Dublin drab. You'll pay for each bally sorraday
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night every billing sumday morning
.º We won't meeth in Navan till you try to give the Kellsfireclubº the goby. Hill or hollow, Hull or Hague! And beware how you dare of wet cocktails in Kildare or the same may see your wedding driving home from your wake. |shMades of ashens when you flirt spoil the lad but spare his shirt!º Lay your lilylike long his shoulder but buck back if he buttsº bolder and just hep your homely hop and heed no horning. Butº if you've got some brainy notion to raise cancan and rouse commotion I'll be apt to flail that tail for you till it's| Let the lore |shyouº ladleliked at the lycº girde your gastricks in the gymsh|. Nor must you omit to screw the lid firmly on that jazz jiggery, kick starts, bumping racesº on the flat and point to cointº over obstacles. Ridewheeling that acclivisciously up windy Rutland Rise and insighting rebellious northers inº the saunter of the city of Dunlob. Then breretonbiking on the free with your airs of go-be-dee and your heels upon the handlebars. Berrboellº brazenness! No, |shbefore your corselage rib is decartilagedsh|, that is to mean,º |shif you have visceral ptosissh|º, my point is,º making allowances for the factsº of |shyour weak abdominal wall and your liver asprawlsh|º, vinvin, vinvin, or should you feel, |shin shortssh|, as though you needed healthy physicking |shexorcisesh|º to flush your kidneys, you understand, and move that twelfingerº bowel |shand threadworm inhibitating itsh|, lassy, and perspire freely,º why,º lict your lector in the lobby andº out you go by the ostiary on to the dirt trackº and skip!º Be |sha sportivesh|. Deal with Nature,º the great greengrocer,º and pay regular byº the monthlies. Your Punt's Perfume's only in the hatpinny shop beside the reek of the rawney.º It's more important than air — I mean than eats — air (oopº, |shI never open momouth but I pack mefood in itsh|) andº promotes that natural emotion. |shStamp out bad| |shWhy so many puddings prove disappointingsh|, |shasº Dietician sayssh| inº Creature Comforts Causeries, |shand why so much soup is so muck slopsh|. If we could fatten on the elizabeetons we wouldn't have teeth like the hippopotamians. However. Likewise if I were in your unvelopeº shirt I'd keep my weathereye well cocked open for your furnished lodgers paying for their feed on tally with company and piano tunes.º |shOnly stuprifying yourself!sh| The too friendly friend sort,º |shMazourikawitch or some other sukinsin of a vitchsh|,º whoº he's kommen from olt Pannonia on this porpoise whom sue stooderin about the maul and femurl artickles and who mix himself so at home mid the musik and spanks the ivory so lovely, Mistroº Melosiosus MacShine MacShane,º may soon prove your undoing and bane through the succeeding years of rain should you, whilst Jaun is from home, get used to basking in his loverslowlap, |shinordinately cladsh|, |shmoustacheteasingsh|, when closeheadedº together behind locked doors, kissing steadilyº (malbongusta, it's not the thing,º you know!) with the calfloving selfseeker,
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under the influence of woman,º inching up to you, disarranging your modesties and fumbling with his forte paws in your bodice after your billydoosº twy as a first go-offº (take care, would you stray and split on me!) and going on doing his idiot every time you gave him his chance to get thick and play pigglywigglyº, making much of you, bilgetalking like a ditherer, gougouzoug,º about your glad neck and the round globe and the white milk and the red raspberries (O horrifier!) and prying down furthermore to chance his lucky arm with his pregnant questions up to ourº past lives. |shWhat has that caught to sing with him?sh|º |shThe next fling you'll be squittingº on the Tubber Nakel, pouring pitchers to the well for old Gloatsdane's glorification and the postequitiesº of the Black Watch, peeping private from the Bush and| |shAnd our local busybody,sh| |shtalker-go-bragk?ºsh| |shWorse again! Off of that praying fan on toº them priars!sh| It would be a whorable state of affairs altogether for theº red columnistsº |shof presswritten epicssh|, Peterº Paragraph and Paulus Puff (I'm keepsoaking them |shto cover my concertssh|),º to get ahold of for their balloons and shoot you private by surprise, consideringº the marriage slump that's on this oil age and pulexes three shillings a pint and wives at six and seven when domestic calamities belame par and newlaids bellow mar for the twenty two toosent timeº thwealthy took thousands in the slack march of civilisation,º were you, becoming guilty of unleckylike intoxication,º to have and to hold, to pig and to pay,º direct connectionº, qua intervener,º with a prominent married member of the vicereeking squad and,º in consequence of the hereinunderº subpenas,º be flummoxed to the second degree by becoming a detestificated companykeeper on the dammymonde of Lucalamplight. Anything but that, for the fear and love of gold! Once and for all, I'll have no college swankies (you seeº I am well voiced in love's arsenal and all |shits overturessh| from collion boys to colleen bawns,º so I have every reason to know that rogues' gallery of nightbirds and bitchfanciers, lucky duffs and light lindsays, haughty hamiltons and gay gordons, dosed, doctored and otherwise, messing around skirts and what their fickling intentions look like, you make up your mind to that) trespassing on your danger zone in the dancer years. If ever I catch you at it, mind, it's you that will cocottch it! |shI'll tackle you to feel if you have a few devils in| |shHoly gunsh|, I'll give it to you, hot, high and heavy, beforeº you can say sedro!º Or may the maledictions of Lousyfear fall like nettlerash on the white friar's father that converted from moonshine the fostermother of the first nancyfreeº that ran off after the trumpadour that mangled Moore's melodies and so upturned the tubshead of the stardaft journalwriter to inspire the prime finisher to fellhim the firtree out of which Cooper Funnymore planed the flat of the beerbarrel on which my grandydad's lustiest sat his
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seat of unwisdom with my tante's petted sister for the cause of his joy! Amineº.

Poof! There's puff for ye, begorraº, |shand planxty of itsh|, all abound me breadth! Glor galore and glory be! As broad as its lung and as long as a line! The valiantine vaux of Venerable Val Vousdem. If my jaws must brass away like the due drops on my lay. |shAnd the topnoted delivery you'd expected be me invoice!sh| Theo Dunnohoo's warning from Daddy O'Dowd. Whoo? What I'm wondering to myselfwhose for there's a strong tendency,º to put it mildly,º by making me the medium. I feel spirts of itchery outching out from all over me and only for the sludgehummer's force in my hand to hold them the darkens alone knows what'll who'll be saying of next. However. Now, |shbefore my upperotic rogistersh|, something nice.º Now? Dear sister, inº perfect leave again I say take a brokerly advice and |shkeep it to yourselfsh| that we,º Jaun, first of our name,º here now make all receptacles of, freeº of price. Easy, my dear, if they tingle you either say nothing or nod. |shNo cheekacheek with chipperchapperº, you and your last mashboy and the padre in the pulpbox enumerating you his| Be vacillant over those vigilant who would leave you to belave black on white. Close in for |shpsychical hijinksºsh| as well but fight shy of mugpunters. I'd burn the books that grieve you and light an allassundrian bompyre that would suffragate Tome Plyfire or Zolfanerole. Perousse instate your Weaklyº Standerd, our verile organ that is ethelred by all pressdom. Apply your five wits to the four verilatest. The Arsdiken's An Traitey on Miracula orº Viewed to Death by a Priest Hunter is still first in the field despite the castle bar.º William Archer's a rompan good cathalogue and he'll give you a riser on the route to our nazional labrouryº. |shSkim over Through Hell with the Papessh| (mostly boys) by |shthe divine comic Denti Alligatorsh| (exsponging your |shindexsh|) and find a quip in a quire arisus aream |shfrom bastardtitle to fatherjohnsonsh|. Swear aloud by pious fiction the like of Lentil Lore by Carnival Cullen or that Percy Wynns of our S. J. Finn's or Peaseº in Plenty by the Curer of Wars, the two best sells on the market this luckiest year, set up by Gill the father, put out by Gill the son and circulating disimally at Gillydehooly's cost,º licensed and censered by |shour most picturesque prelates,sh| Their Graces of Linzen and Petitbois, bishops of theº Hibernites, licet ut lebanus, for expansion on the promises.º Strike up a nodding acquaintance for our doctrine with the works of old Mrs Trot, senior, and Manoel Canter, junior, and Loper de Figas, nates maximum. I used to follow Mary Liddlelambe's flitsy tales, espicially with the scentaminted sauce. Sifted science will do your arts good. Egg Laid by Former Cock and With Flageolettesº in Send Fanciesland. Chiefly girls. Trip over sacramental tea into the long lives of our saintsº and saucerdotes, with vignettes,º cut short
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instructual primers by those in authority for the bittermint of your soughts. Forgetº not the palsied. Light a match for poor old Contrabally and send some balmoil for the schizmatics. |shA hemd in need is aye a friendly| Remember, maid, thou mustº art powder but Cinderella thou dustº return.º (Whatº are you rubbingº her sleeve for,º Ruby? And pull in your tongue, Polly!)º Cog that out of your teen times, everyone!º |shThe lad who brooks no breaches lifts the lass that toffs a| How dare ye be laughing out of your mouthshine at the lack of that? Keep cool your fresh chastity which is far, farº better, farº. Sooner than part with that vestalite emerald of the first importance, descended to me by far from our family,º which you treasure up so closely in the sanctuaryº where your netherº extremes meet, nay, morzedº lesmended, rather let the whole ekumene universe belong to merry Hal and do whatever his Mary well likes. |shWhen the gong goes for hornets-to-nestº marriage step into your harnessº and strip off that nullity| Faminy, hold back! For the race is to the rashest of, the romping, jomping rushes of. |shHaul Seton's down, blackº, green and grey, and hoist Mikealy'sº whey and| What's |shoverdressed if underclothedsh|? |shPoposhtsh| |shforstake me knot where there's white lets| Whisht! |shBlesht she that walked with good Jook Humpreysh|º for he made her happytight. Go! You can down all the dripping you can dumple to, andº |shbuffkid scousesh| too ad libidinum,º in these lassitudes if you've parents and things to look after. That was what stuck to the Comtesse Cantilene while she was sticking out Mavis Toffeelips to feed her soprannated huspals andº it is henceforth associated with her names. La Dreeping! Die Droopink! The inimitable in puresuet of the inevitable! There's nothing to touch it, we are taucht,º unless she'd care for a mouthpull of white pudding, forº the wish is on her rose marine and theº lunchlight in her eye.º Soº when you pet the rollingpin write my |shname on the piesh|. Guard that gem, Sissy, rich and rare, ses he. In this cold old worold who'll feel it?º Hum! The jewel you're all so cracked about there's flitty few of them gets it,º for there's nothing now but the sable stoles and a runabout to& match it. Sing him a ring.º Touch me low. And I'll lech ye so, my soandso. Show and show. Show on show. She. Shoe. Shone.

Divulge, sjuddenly jouted out hardworking Jaun, |shkicking the console to his double andsh| |shbraying aloud like Brahaam'ssh| ass and,º as his |shvoixe humanerº swelled to great,sh| clenching his manlies, so highly strong was he, man, and gradually quite warming to her (thereº must have been a power of kinantics in that buel of gruel he gobed at bedgo),º divorce untoº me and say the curname in undress |sh(if you get into trouble with a party you are not likely to forget his appearance either)sh| of any lapwhelp or sleevemongrel who talks to you upon the road where he tuck you to be a roller, O, and (theº goattanned
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saxopeeler upshotdown |shchigs peekº of himsh|!)º volunteers to trifle with your roundlings for profferred glass and dough, |shthe marrying hand that his leisure repents ofsh|, without taking out his proper password from the eligible ministriss for affairs with the black fremdling, that enemayº of our country, in a cleanlooking light and (Iº don't care a tongser's tammany hang who the mucky is nor twoo hoots in the corner nor three shouts on a hill,º wereº he even a constantineapolitanº namesuch of my very own,º |shAlltaboyº Knowlingsh|,º and like enoch to my townmajor ancestors, the two that are taking out their divorces in the Spooksbury courts circuits, Rere Uncle Remus, the Baas of Eboracum,º and Old Father Ulissabon Knickerbocker, the lanky Sireº of Wolverhampton, about their bristelings) asº true as there's a soke for sakes in Twoways Petersboroughº and sure as home we come to newsky prospecktº from west the wave on schedule time |sh(if I came any quicker I'll be right back before I left)sh| from the land of breach of promise,º with |shBrendan's mantle whitening the Kerribrasilian sea andsh| March's pebbles spinning from beneath our footslips,º |shto carry fire and sword,sh| rest insured that as we value the very name Insisterº that as soon as we do possibly it will be a poor lookout for that insister. He's a markt man from that hour. And why do we say that, you may query me? Quary? Guess! |shCall'st thou?sh| |shThink and think and think,sh| I urge on you. Muffed! |shThe wrong porridge!sh|º |shYou are an ignoratis!sh| Because then probably we'll dumb well soon show him what the Shaun way is like how we'll go a long way towards breaking his outsider's face for him for making up to you with his bringthee |shbalm of Gayladsh| and his singthee songs of Arupeeº andº chanceryingº my ward's head |shintosh| |shsanctuarysh| before feeling with his two dimensionsº for your nuptial dito. Ohibow, if I was Blonderboss I'd gooandfrighthisdualman! Now, we'll tell you what we'll do to be sicker instead of compensation. We'll he'll burst our his mouth like Leary to the Leinsterface and reduce |shhe'll we'll ournhisnsh| liniments to a poolp. |shOpen the door softly, somebody wants you, dear!ºsh| You'll hear him calling you, bump, like a blizz, in the muezzin of the turkest night. |shCome on now, pillarbox! I'll stiffen your scribeall, brokenº reed!sh| That'll be it,º |shgrand operoarsh| style, even should I, |shwith my sleuts of hogpew and cheekas,sh| have to coomb the brash of the libs round Close Saint Patrice to lay my louseboob on his behaitch like Tossº. |shWe are all| I have his quoram of images all on my retinue, Mohomadhawn Mike. Brass up!º Moreover,º afterº that,º bad manners to meº if I don't think strongly about giving the brotherkeeper into custody to the first police bubbyº cunstabless of Dora's Diehards in the field I might chance to follopon. Or,º for that matter, |shfor your informationsh|, if I get the windº up what do you bet in the |shbuckets of my wrathsh| I mightn't even take it into my |shprogromme,sh| |shas sweet course,sh| to |shdo a rash act and pitch
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andsh| swing for your perfect stranger in the meadow of heppiness and then wipe the street up with theº clonmellian , pending my bringing proceedings verses the |shjoyboysh| before a bunch of magistrafes and twelve good and gleeful men?º Take warning!º |shFilius nulliussh|º per fas et nefas.º It should prove more or less of an event |shand show the widest federal in my capsh|º. He'll have pansements then for his pensamientos, |shhowling for peacesh|. |shPretty knockssh|, I promise him, withº plenty burkes for his shins. Dumnlimn wimn humn. In which case I'll not be complete in fighting lust until I contrive to half kill your Charley you're my darling for you and send him to Home Surgeon Hume, the algebrist, before his appointed time, particularly should he turn out to be a man in brown about town, Rollo the Gunger,º wants a flurewaltzer to Arnolff's, |shpicking up ideassh|, of |shwell over orsh| about fiftysix or so, pithecoid proportions, with perhops five foot eight, the usual X Y Z type, R.C.,º Toc H, nothing but claret,º not in the studbook by a long stretchº, with a toothbrush moustache and jaw crockeries,º alias grinner through collar,º and of course no beard,º meat and colmans suit, with |shtar's baggy slackssh|º |shobviously too roomy for himsh| and |shspringside bootssh|, washing tie, Father Mathew's bridge pin, sipping some Wheatley's at Rhoss's on a barstool withº some pubpal of the Olaf Stout kidney, always trying to poorchase movables by hebdomedaries for to putt in a new house to loot, cigarette in his holder, with a good job and pension in Buinness's, what about our trip to Normandy style ofº conversation, with an occasional they say that filmacoulored featured at the Mothrapurl skrene about Michan and his lost angeleens is corkyshows do moorvaloosº, blueygreen eyes a bit scummy, developingº a series of angry boils with certain references to the Deity, seeking relief in alcohol and so on, general omnibus character with a dash of railway brainº, stale cough and an occasional twinge of claudication, having his favourite fecundclass family of upwards of a decade, both harefoot and loadenbrogued, to boot and buy off, Imeanº.

So let it be a knuckle or an elbow, I hereby admonish you!º |shIt may all be topping fun but it's tip and run and touch and flow for every whack when Marie stopes Phil fluther's game to go. Arms arome, side aside, face into the wall. To the tumble of the toss tot the trouble of the swaddled,| And lest there be no misconception, Miss Forstowelsy, over who to fasten the plightforlifer on |sh(threehundred and thirty three to one on Rue the Day!)sh| when the nice little smellar squalls in his crydle what the dirty old bigger'll be squealing through his coughin,º you better keep in the gunbarrel straightº |sharound vokseburstsh| as I recommence you to (you gypseyeyed baggage, do you hear what I'm praying?) or, Gash,º without butthering my head to assortail whose stroke forced or which struck backly, I'll be all over you myselx
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horizontally, |shas the straphanger said,sh| for knocking me with my name and yourself and your babybag down at such a greatº sacrifice with a rap of the gavel to a third price cowhandler as cheap as the niggerd's dirt (for sale!) or I'll smack your |shfruitflavouredsh| jujube lips well for you, so I will well for you,º if you don't keep a civil tongue in your pigeonhouse. The pleasures of love lasts but a fleeting but the |shpledgessh| of life outlusts a lieftime. |shI'll have it in for| I'll teach you bed minners, tip for tap, notº to be playing your oddaugghter tangotricks with micky dazzlers,º if I find corsehairs on your riverfrockº and the squirmside of your burberry lupitally covered with chiffchaff and shavings. |shUp Rosemiry Lean and Potanasty Rod you wos, wos you?sh| |shI overstand you, you| |shAsking Annybettyelsas to carry your parcels and you dreaming of net| You'll ging nae maer wi' Wolf the Ganger!º |shCutting chapelsh|, were you? Andº |shhad dates with slickers in particular hotelssh|, had we? Lonely went to play your mother, isod? You was wiffriends? Hay, dot's a doll yarn! Mark mean then! I'll homeseek you, Luperca,º as sure as there's a palatine in Limerick,º and, inº stripedº conference,º here's how, if you'reº my rodeo gell.º Nerbu de Bios!º If yousº twos goes to walk upon the railway, Gard, and I'll goad to beat behind the bush!º |shSee to it!sh| Snip! |shIt's up to| |shI'll be hatsnatching harrier to hiding huries hinder| Snap! I'll tear up your limpshades and lock all your trotters in aº closet, I will, and cut your silkskin into garters. |shYou'll give up your ashandbrothelº ways when I make you reely| |shSo skelp your budd and kiss the hurt!sh| I'll have |shplenarysh| sadisfaction, plays the bishop, for your partial's indulgences.º Fair man and foul suggestion. There's a lot of lecit pleasure coming bangslanging your way, Miss Pimpernellyº |shSatinsh|º. |shFor your own good, you understand, for the man who lifts hissh| |shpudsh| |shto a woman is saving the way for| You'll rebmemer your mottob, Aveh Tiger Roma,º mikely smarter the nickst time. For I'll just draw my prancer and give you one splitpuck in the crupper, you understand, that will bring the poppy blush of shame to your peony hindmost till you yelp papapardon and radden your rhodatantarumsº to the beat of calorrubordolor, I am, I do and I sufferº (do you hear me now, lickspoon, and stop looking at your bussycat bow in the slate!),º that you won't obliterate for the bulkier part of a running year , failing to give a good account of yourself, if you think I'm so tan cupid as all that. Lights out now (bouf!), tight and sleep on it!º And that's how I'll bottle your greedypuss beautibus for ye,º me bullin heifer, for 'tisº I that have the peer of arrams that carry a wallop. Between them.

Unbeknownst to you would ire turn o'er see, a nuncio would I return here. How (from the sublime to the ridiculous) times out of oft, my future, shall we think with deepest of love and recollection by introspectionº of thee
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but me far away on the pillow, breathing fondlyº o'er my names all through the empties, whilst moidhered by the rattle of the doppeldoorknockers. Our homerole poet to Ostelinda, Fred Wetherly, puts it somewhys better. You're sitting on me style, maybe, whereoft I helped yousº ore. Littlegameº rumilie from Liffaslidebankumº (Toobliqueme!)º but a big corner fill you do in this unadulterated seat of our affections. |shAerwenger's my breed so may we uncreepingly multipede like the sands on Amberham!sh|º Sevenheavens, O heaven! Iy waount yiou!º Yoreº ways to melittleme were wonderful so Ick amº purseproud in sending yumº loveliest pansiful thoughts touching me dash in-you through wee dots Hyphen, the so pretty arched godkin of beddingnights. |shIf I've proved to your sallysfashion how I'm a man of Armor let me so, let me sue, let me see your| How I shall, should I survive, as, please the uniter ofº U.M.I. hearts, I am living in hopes to do, replacing migº wandering handsup in yawers,º so yeager forº mitch, positively cover the two pure chicks of your comely plumpchake with zuccherikissings, hong, kong, and so gong, that I'd scare the bats out of the ivfry one of those muggyº mornings, honestly, by my rantandog and daddyoak,º I will,º become come coming when, upon the mingling of our meeting waters, wish to wisher, like massive mountains to part no more, you will there and then, in those happy moments of ouryourº soft accord, rainkissº on me back, for full marks with shouldered arms, and in that united I.R.U. stateº when I come (touf! touf!º) wildflier's fox into my ownº green geeseº again, swap sweetened smugs, six of one for half a dozen of the other, till they'll bet we're the cuckoo derby when cherries next come back to Ealing as come they must, as they musted in their past, as they must for my pressing season, as hereinafter must they chirrywill immediately suant on my safe return to ignorance and bliss in my horseless Coppal Poor, through suirland and noreland,º kings country and queens, with my ropes of pearls for gamey girls the way ye'll hardly. Knowme.

Slim ye, come |shslumsh| with me and rally rats' roundup!º 'Tis post purification we will, sales of work and social service, missus, |shcompleting our Abelite union by the adoptation of fosterlingssh|. Embark for |shEuphonia!sh| |shUp Murphy, Henson and O'Dwyer, the Warchester Warders!sh| |shI'll put in a shirt time if you'll get through your shift and betwineº ussh| |shin our shared slaves, brace to brassiere and shouter to shunter,sh| |shwe'll pull off our working programmesh|. Come into the |shgarden guildsh| and be free of the gape athome!º We'll circumcivicise all Dublin country. Let us, |shthe real Ussh|,º all ignite in our prepurgatory grade as aposcals and |shbe instrumental tosh| utensiliseº our Jakeline sisters clean out the hogshole |shand generally ginger things upsh|. |shMeliorism in massquantities, raffling receipts and sharing sweepstakes till navel, spokes
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and felloes hum like| Burn only what's Irish, accepting their coals. |shYou will soothe the cokeblack bile that's Anglia's and touch Armourican'sº iron| Write me yourº essayestº, my |shvocational scholarssh|, but cursorily, |shdippingº your nose in itsh|,º for Henrietta's sake,º on mortinatality orº the life of jewries and the sludge of King'sº at its height, running boulewardsº over the whole of it. I'd write it all by mownself if I only had here of my jolly young watermen. Bear in mind, by Michael, all the provincials'º bananasº and elacock eggs making drawadust jubilee alongº Henry, Moore, Earl and Talbot Streets. Luke at all the memmer manning he's dung for the preyº of birds, our priest-mayor-king-merchant, strewing the Castleknock Road and |shdrawing manure upon itsh| till the first glimpse of Wales and from Ballses Breach Harshoe up to Dumping's Corner with theº |shMirist fathers' brotherssh| versus White Friars elevensº out on a rogation stag party. Compare them caponchin trowlers otioselyº with the Bridgesº of Belches in Fairview,º noreast Dublin's favourite souwest wateringplatz, andº ump as you lump it. What do you mean by Jno Citizen and how do you think of Jas Pagan? Compost liffe in Dufblin by Pierce Egan with the baugh in Baughkley of Fino Ralli. Explain why there is such a number of orders of religion inº Asea! Why such an order number in preference to any other number? Why any number in any order at all? Now? Where is the greenest island off the black coats of Spaign? Overset into universal: I am perdrix and upon my pet ridge. Oralmus!º Way, O way for |shthe autointaxication of our town of the Fords in a huddlesh|! Hailfellow some wellmet boneshaker or, |shtoº ascertain the facts for herself,sh| |shrun up your showeryweather oncesh| and trust and take the Drumgondola tram and, wearing the midlimb and vestee endorsed by the hierarchy fitted with ecclastics, |shbending your steps, pick a trail andsh| stand on, say, Aston's, at, suppose, the hoyth of number eleven, let us say, Kane or Keogh'sº,º along quaythº a copy of the Seeds and Weeds Act,º when you have procured one for yourself,º and I advise you strongly toº take a good longing gaze into any nearby shopswindow you may select andº in the course of about thirtytwo minutes' time proceed to turn aroundabout on your heehills towards the previous causeway and I shall be very cruelly mistaken indeed if you will not be jushed astonushedº to seeº how you will be meanwhile durn wellº topcoatedº with kakes of slush occasioned by the mush jam of the cross and blockwallsº trafficº in transit. |shSee Capels and then| Show me that |shcomplaint booksh| here. Where's Cowtends Kateclean, the woman with the muckrake? When will theº W.D. face of our sow muckloved D'linº, the Troia of towns and Carmen of cities, crawling with mendiants |shin perforated clothingsh|, getº its wellbelavered whitewishº like L'pool and M'chester?º When's that grandnational goldcapped dupsydurby houspill coming |shwith its vomitoriesº
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for our mothers-in-load and stretchers for their devitalised malessh|? I am all of me |shfor freedom of speedsh| but who'll disasperaguss Pope's Avegnue or who'll uproose the Opian Way? Who'll brighton Brayhowth and bait the Bull Bailey and never despair of Lorcansby? The rampant royal commissioners! 'Tisº an ill weed blows no poppy good. And this labour's worthy of my higher. |shOil for meed and toil for feed and a walk with the band for Job| If I hope not charity what profiteers me? Nothing! My tippers of flags are knobs of hardshape for |shit isagrim talesh|, keeping |shthe father of curlssh| from the sport of oak. Do you know what, liddle giddles? Oneº of those days I am advised by the smiling voteseeker who isº now snoring electedº to positively strike off hiking for good and all,º as I |shbldy well bdlysh| ought,º until such temse loiter onº as some mood is made under privy-sealed orders to get me an increase of automoboil and footwear for these poor |shdiscalcedsh| and a bourse from Bonº Somewind for a cure at Bad Anyweirº (though where it's going to come from this timeº) as I sartunly think now, honest to John, for an income plexus that that's about the sanguine boundary limit. Amean.

Sis dearest, Jaun addedº with voise somewhit murky,º what though still |shhigh fa lutingsh|, as he turned his dorse to her to pay court to it andº ouverleaved his booseys to give the note and score, |shphonoscopically incuriositedsh| and melancholic this time,º whiles, |shas on the fulmament he gaped in wuldermentsh|, his onsaturncast eyes in stellar attraction followed swift to an imaginary swellaw, O, the vanity of Vanissy! All ends vanishing! Pursonally, Grog help me, I am in no violent hurry. If time enough lost the ducks,º walking easy found them. I'll nose a blue fonx with any tristys blinking upon this earthlight of all them that pass by the way of the deerdrive, |shconconey's runsh| or wilfrid's walk, but I'd turn back as lief as not if I could only spoonfind the nippy girl of my heart's appointment, Monaº Vera Toutou Ipostila, my lady of Lyons, to guide me by gastronomy under her safe conduct. That's more in my line. I'd ask no kinder of fates than to stay where I am, with my tinny of |shbrownie's teash|, under the invocation of Saint Jamas Hanway, servant of Gamp, lapidated, and Jacobus A'Pershawmº, intercissous, for my thurifex, with Peter Roche, that frind of my boozum, leaning on my cubits, at this passing moment by localoption in the birds' lodging,º meº pheasants among,º |shwhere I'll dreamt that I'll dwealth mid warblers' walls when throstles and choughs to my sigh hiehiedsh|, with me hares standing up well and me longlugs dittoes, where |sha maurdering row (the fox!)º has broken at the coward sightsh|,º tillº well on into the beausome of the exhaling night, pinching stopandgo jewels out of the hedges and catching dimtop brilliants on the tip of my wagger, butº for |shthat owled clockº (fast cease to it!) has just gone twoohoosh| |shthe hoursh| andº yen breezes zipping
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round by Drumsally do be devils to play fleurt.º I could sit on safe side till the bark of Saint Grouse'sº for hoopoe's hours, till heoll's hoerrisings, laughing lazy at the sheep's lightning,º and turn a widamost ear dreamily to the |shdrummling of sniperssh|, hearing |shthe wireless harpssh| of sweet old Aerial and the mails across the nightriverº (peepet! peepet!) and whippoorwillyº in the woody (moor park! moor park!),º as peacefed as a philopotamus, and crekking jugs at the grenoulls, leaving tealeaves for the trout and belleeks for the wary,º till I'd followed through my upfieldedº neviewscope the rugaby moon cumuliously goarollingº himself westasleep amuckst the cloudscrums for to watch how carefully my nocturnal goosemother would lay her new golden sheegg for me down under in the shy orient. What wouldn't I poach — the rent in my riverside, my otther shoes, my beavery, honest! — ay, |shand melt my beltsh|,º for a dace feast of grannom with the finny ones, |shthose happy guppiesº in their minnowahaw,sh| flashing down the swansway, leaps ahead of the Swiftº MacEelsº, the big |shGillaroo redfellowssh| and the pursewinded carpers,º rearin antis rood perches astench of me, or, when I'd like own company best, with the help of a norange and bear,º to be reclined on my logansome by the lasher,º my g.b.dº in my f.a.c.e,º solfanelly in my shellyholders and lov'd Latakia, theº benuvolent,º for my nosethrills,º with the jealosomines wilting away to their heart's deelight and the king of saptimber letting down his humely odours for my consternation,º dapping my griffeen, burning water in the spearlight or catching trophies of the king's royal college of sturgeonsº by the armful for to bake pike and pie while, O twined me abower in L'Alouette's Tower, all Adelaide's naughtingerlsº juckjucking benightº me, I'd gamut my twittynice Dorian blackbudds |shtheº chthonic solphiash| off my singasongapiccolo to pipe musicall airs on numberous fairyaciodes. I give, a king, to me, she does, alone, up there, yes see, I double give, till the spinney all eclosed asong with them. Isn't that lovely though? I give to me alone I trouble give! I may have no mind tamagnageº the forte bits like the pianage but you can't cadge meº off the key. I've a voicical lilt too true. Nomario! And bemolleyº and jiesis! For I sport a whatyoumacormack in the latcher part of my throushersº. And the lark that I let fly (olala!) is as cockful of funantics as it's tune to my fork. |shNaturalesh| you might lower |shregistersh| me as |shdiskrecordantº, but I'm athlone in the lillabilling of killarniessh|. That's |shflatsh|. Yet ware the wold, you! What's good for the gorse is a goad for the garden. |shLethals lurk hemlockedº in logans. Loathe| |shDash the gaudy deathcup!ºsh| |shBryony O'Bryony, thy name is Belladama!sh| But enough of greenwoodº gossip. |shBirdsnests is| Thine to wait but mine to wage. And now play |shsharpsh| to me. |shDoublefirst I'll head foremost through all my exam hoopssh|º. And what sensitive coin I'd be possessed
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at Latouche's, begor, I'd sink it sumtotal, every dolly farting, in vestments of subdominal poteen at prime cost and I bait you |shmy chancey oldcoatsh| against the whole ounce you half on your backboard |sh(if madamaud strips mesdamines may cold strafe illglands!)sh| that I'm the gogetter that'd make it pay like cash registers |shas sure as there's a pot onº a polesh|. And, what with one man's fischº and a dozen men'sº poissons, |shsowing my wild plums to reap ripe plentihorns mead, lashings of erbouleº and hydromel and braggetsh|,º I'd come out with my magic fluke in close time, fair, free and frolicky, zooming tophole on the mart as a factor. And I tell you the Bectivesº wouldn't hold me. By the unsleeping Solman Annadromousº, ye god of little pescies, nothing would stop me.º Not the Ulster Rifles and the Cork Milice and the Dublin Fusees and Connacht Rangers ensembled! For money makes multimony like the brogues and the kishes.º I'd axe the channon and leip a liffey and drink annyblack water that rann on meº way. Yip! How's thatº for scats, mine shatz, for a lovebird? To funk is only peternatural, it'sº daring feers divine. Bebold! Like Varian's,º balaying all behind me. And, zoom,º before you knew where you weren't, I stake my ignitial's divy, cash-and-cash-can-again, I'd be staggering humanity and loyally rolling you over,º my sow whiteº spouseº, in tonsº of red clover, nighty nigh to the |shmetronomesh|, fiehigh and fiehigher and fiehighest of all!º |shHoly petter and palsh|, I'd spoil you altogether|sh, my sumptuous Sheila!sh| |shMumm all to do butº frull up fizzsh| and unpop a few |shshortrusianssh|º or |shshake a pailº of sparklingsh| |shicesh|. Hearº it swirl, happy girl!º Not a spot of my hide but you'd love to seek and scan again!º There'd be no standing me, I tell you. And, as gameboy as my pagan name K.C. is what it is, I'd never say let fly till we shot that blissup and swumped each other, manawife, into our sever nevers where I'd plant you, my Gizzygay, on the electric ottoman in the lap ofº lechery, simpringly stitchless with admiracion,º among the most uxuriously furnished compartmentsº with sybarate chambers,º just as I'd run my shoestring into near a million |shor sosh| of them as a firstclass dealer and everything. Only for one thing,º that howover famiksed I would becomeº I'd be awful anxious, you understand, about Shoepisser Pluviusº and in assideration of the terrible luftsucks woabling around with the hedrolics in the coold amstophere till the bordingº that would perish the Dane and his chapter of accidents to be atramental to the better half of my alltoolyrical health, not considering my capsflap,º and that's the truthº now out of the cackling bag,º for truly sureº for another thingº I never could tell the leest falsehood that would truthfully give sotisfiction. I'm not talking apple sauce eithou. Or up in my hat. I earnst. Fschue!º

Sissibis dearest, as I was reading to myself not very long ago in Tennis Flonnels MacCourtherº, his correspondenceº, besated upon my tripos, and
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just thinking like thauthor how long I'd like myself to be continued at Hothelizod, peeking into the fuocusº and pecking at thumbnail reveries, |shpricking up ears to my phono on the ground and picking up airs from th'other over th'ether,sh| 'tis tramsported with grief I am byº this night sublime, as you may see by my size and my brow that's all forehead, to go forth,º frank and hoppy, to the tune the old plow tied off, from our nostorey houseº upon this benedictine errand,º but it is historically the most glorious mission, secret or profund, through all the annals ofº our —º as you so often term herº efferfreshpainted livy, in beautific repose,º upon the silence of the dead, from Pharophº the nextfirst down to Rameschecklesº the lastbustº thing. The Vico road goes round and round to meet where terms begin. Still, onappealedº to by the cycles and unappalledº fromº by the recoursers,º we feelº all serene, never you fret, as regards our dutyful cask. Full of my breadth from pride I am (|shbreezedsh| be the healthy same!) for 'tis a grand thing (superb!) to be going to meet a king, not an everynight king, nenni, by gannies,º but the overking of Hither-on-Thither Erin himself, pardee, I'm saying. Before there was aº patch at all on Ireland there lived a lord at Lucan. We only wish everyone was as sure of anything in this watery world as we are of everything in the newlywet fellow that's bound to follow. I'll lay you a guinea for a hayseed now. Tell mother that. And tell her tell her old one. 'Twillº amuse her.

Well, to the figends of Annamnesesº with the wholeabuelish business! For I declare to Jeshuam I'm beginning to get sunsick!º I'm not half Norawain for nothing. The fine ice so temperate of our, alas,º theseº timesº are notº so far off as you might wish to be congealed. So now, I'll ask of you, let ye create no scenes in my poor primmafore's wake. I don't want yous to be billowfighting your biddy moriarty duels, |shgobble gabble,sh| over me till you spit stout, you understand, after soused mackerel, sniffling |shclambake to heringsh| and |shimputentº barney, braggart of blarneysh|, nor yourº ugly lemoncholic gobs o'er the hobs in a sewing circle,º stopping |shoddments in maids' costumes at sweeping reductionssh|º, |shwearing out your ohs by sitting around onº your ahssh|,º making areekaransyº |shround where I last put itsh|,º with the painters in too, curse meº luck, with your rags up|sh, exciting your mucuses,sh| turning breakfartsº into lost soupirs,º nor yourº flabbies on your groaning chairs for flapjack and salonthayº over Bollivar's troubles of a bluemoondag,º steamingº your damp ossicles, praying |shHoly Prohibition andsh| Jaun Dyspeptist while Ole Clo goes through the wood with Shep togather, touting in the |shchestnutº burrssh| for Goodboy Sommers and Mistral Blownowse hugs his kindlings,º when voiceyverseyº it's my gala benefit,º robbing leaves out of my taletold book. |shMay my tunc fester if ever I see such a miry lot of maggalenes!sh| Once upon
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a drunk and a fairly good drunk it was
andº the rest of your blatherumskite! Just a plain shays by the fire for absenterº Sh the Po and I'll make ye all an eastern hummingsphere of myself the moment that you name the way. |shLook in the slag scuttle and you'll see me sailspread over the singing, and what do ye want trippings for when you've Paris inspire your hat?sh| Sussumcordials all round, let ye alloyiss and ominies, while I strayº and let ye not be getting grief out of it, though blighted troth be all |shbereftsh|, on my poor headsake, even should we forfeit our life. Lo, improving ages wait ye!º In the orchard of the bones. Some time very presently now when yon clouds are dissipated after their forty years'º shower, the odds are, we shall all be hooked and happy, communionistically, among the fieldnights elyceanº,º élite of the elect,º in the land of lost of time. Johannisburg's a revelation! Deck the diamants that never die! So cut out the lonesome stuff!º Drink it up, ladies, please, as smart as you can lower it!º |shOut with lent! Clap hands, postillionº! Fastintide is| Your sole and myopper must hereupon part company. So |shfor e'ersh| nowº fare thee welt! Parting's fun.º Take thou, the wringle's thine, love. |shThis dime doth trost thee from mine alms. Goodbye, swisstart, goodbye!sh|º Laugh!º Sure, treasures, a letterman does be often thought reading ye between lines that do have no sense at all. I sign myself. With much leg. Inflexibly yours.º Ann Posht the Shorn. To be continued. Huck!

Something of a sidesplitting nature must have occurred to westminstrel Jaunathaun for a grand big blossy hearty stenorious laugh (even Drudge that lay doggo thought feathers fell) hopped out of his |shwoolly'sº throatsh| |shlike a ball lifted over the head of a deep fieldsh|º at the bare thought of how jolly they'd like to be trolling his whoop,º and all of them truetotypes in missammen massness were just starting to spladher splodherº with the jolly magorios, hicky hecky hock, huges huges huges, hughy hughy hughy, O Jaun |sh(Thouº pure! Our virgin! Thou holy! Our health! Thou strong! Our victory! O salutary! Sustain our firm solitude, thou who thou well strokest! Hear, hairy ones! We have sued thee but late. Beauty parlous!)sh|,º so jokable and so geepy, O,º when suddenly (how like a woman!), swifter as mercury,º he wheels right round starnly on the Rizzies suddenly, with his gimlets blazing rather sternish (how black like thunder!), to see what's loose. So they stood still and wondered. Till first he sighed (and how ill soufered!) and they nearly cried (the salt of the earth!) after which he pondered and finally he replied:

— There is something moreº. A word apparting and shall the heart's tone be silent. Engagements, I'll beseal you! Fare thee well, fairy well! All I can tell you is this, my sorellies. It's prayersº in layers all the thumping time, begor, |shthe young gloria's gang voices the old doxologers,sh| in the suburrs of the heavenly gardens, once we shall have passed, |shafter surceases, all serene,ºsh|
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snug, neck and neck likeº |shDerby and Junesh|, throughº to ourº eternal retribution's reward (the scorchhouse). Shunt us! Shuntº us! Shuntº us! If you want to be felixed come and be parked. Sacred ease thereº! The Seanadº and pobbelqueue'sº remainder. |shTo it, to it! Seekit headup!sh| No petty family squabbles Up Thereº nor homemade hurricanes in our Cohortyard, no cupahurling nor apuckalips |shnor no puncheon jodellingsh| nor no nothing. With the Byrns which is far better and eve for ever your idle be. |shYou will hardly reconnaitreº the old wife in the new bustle and the farmer shinner in his latterday paint. It's the fulldress Toussaint's wakeswalks experdition after a bail motion from the chamber of horrus. Saffron bunsº or sovran bonhams whichever you'reº avider to like it and lump it, but give it a| Eirenyº allover Irelandsº. |shAnd there's food for refection when the whole flock'sº at| Hogmanny di'ye gutº? Hogmanny di'ye smellygutº? And hogmanny di'ye smellyspatterygutº? You take Joe Hanny's tip for it!º Post Mortemº is the goods. With Jollification a tight second. Toborrow and toburrowº and tobarrow!º That's our crass, hairy and evergrim life,º |shtill one finel howdiedow Bouncer Naster raps on the bell with a bone and his stinkers stackº behind him with the sceptre and the hourglasssh|. We may come, touch and go, from atoms and ifs,º but we're presurely destined to be odd's without ends. Here we moult in Moy Kain and flop on the seemy side,º living sure of hardly a doorstep for a stopgap, with Whogoesthere and a live sandbag round the corner.º But upmeyant, |shby the banks of our chlorified Amnesletheash|,º you sprout all your abel and woof your wings, deadº certain however of neuthing whatever to aye forever,º while Hyam Huam'sº in the chair. Ah, sure, pleasantries aside, in the tail of the cow what a humptydaumº earth looks our miseryme heretoday as compared beside the Hereweareagain Gaieties of the Afterpiece when the Royal Revolver of theº real globoes lets regally fire of his mio colpo for the chrisman's pandemomº to give over and the Harlequinade to begin properly SPQueaRking.º Mark Time's Finist Joke. Putting Allspace in a Notshall.º

Well,º the |shslice and vegsh| joint's well in its wayº and so is a |shribroastsh| and jackknife |shas sportan dietsh|º, but home cooking everytimeº. Mountain'sº good mustard and, with the helpings of |shladies' lickfigsº and gentlemen's relish,sh| I've eaten a griddle. But I fill twice as stewhard what I felt before when I'm after eating a few natives. |shThe crisp of the crackling is in the| |shGive us anotherº cup of your scald!º Santos Mozos! That was a damn good cup of scald.ºsh| You could trot a mouse on it. I ingoyed your pick of hissing hot luncheon fine, I did,º thanks awfullyº (sublime!). Tenderestº bully ever I ate with the boiled protestants (allinoilia,º allinoilia!) only for your peas again was a taste tooth psalty |shto carrysh| flavour with my godown and hereby return
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with my best savioury condiments and a penny in the plate for the jemes. |shO.K. Oh Kosmos! Ah Ireland!| And for kailkannonkabbis gimme Cincinnatis with Italian (but ci vuol poco!) ciccalick cheese.º |shHaggis good, haggis strong, haggis never say die!ºsh| For quid we have recipimus, recipe, O lout! And save that, Oliviero, for thy sunny day! Soupmeagre! Couldn't look at it! But if you'll buy me yon coat of the vairy furry bestº I'll try and pullll it awn mee.º It's in fairly good order and no doubt 'twill sarve to turn.º Remove this boardcloth! Next stage, tell the tabler, for a variety of |shHuguenot ligoomssh| I'll try my set on edgesº grapeling an aigrydoucks, grilled over birchenrods, with a few bloomancowls in albies. I want to get outside monasticism. Mass and meat mar no man's journey. Eat a missal lest. |shNuts for the nerves, a flitch for the flue and for to rejoice the chambers of the heart the spirits of the spice isles, curry and cinnamon,º chutney and| All the vitalmines is beginning to sozzle in chewn |shand the hormonies to clingleclanglesh|, fudgem, kates and epasº and naboc and erics and oinnos on kingclud and xoxxoxo and xooxox xxoxoxxoxxx till I'm fustfed like fungstif and very presently from now posthaste it's off yourllº see me ryuoll on my usual rounds again to draw Terminus Lower and Killadown and Letternoosh, Letterspeak, Lettermuck to Littorananima and the roomiest house even in Ireland, ifº you can understamp that,º and my next item's platform it's how I'll try and collect my extraprofessional postages owing to me by Thaddeusº Kellyesque Squire, dr, forº nondesirable printed matter. The |shJooks and the Kelly-Cookssh| have been milking turnkeys and sucking the blood out of the Marshalseaº since the act of First Offenders. But I know what I'll do. Great pains off him I'll take and that'll be your redletterday calendar, window machree!º I'll knock it out of him! I'll stump it out of him! I'll rattattatter it out of him before I'll quit the doorstep of old Con Connolly's residence! By the horn of twenty of both of the two Saint Collopys, blackmail him I will in arrears or my name's not penitent Ferdinand! And it's daily and hourly I'll nurse him till he pays me fine fee. Ameal.

Well,º here's looking at ye! If I never leave you biddies till my stave is a barº I'd be tempted rigidly to become a passionate father. Me hunger's weighed. Hungkung! Me anger's suaged! Hangkang! Ye can stop as ye are, little lay mothers, and wait in wish and wish in vain till the grame reaper draws nigh, with the sickle of the sickles, as a blessing in disguise. Devil a curly hair I care! If any lightfoot Clod Dewvale was to try toº hold me up,º dicksturping me and marauding me of my rights to my onus,º yan, tyan, tethera, methera, pimp, I'd let him haveº my best pair of galloper's heels in hisº creamsourer. He will have better manners,º I'm dished if he won't!º Console yourself, drawhure deelish! There's a refond of eggsized coming to
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you out of me so mind you do me duty on me! |shBruise your bulge below the belt till I blewblack beside| And you'll miss me more as the narrowing weeks wing by. Somedayº duly,º Onedayº truly, Twosdayº newly, till Whensdayº. Look for me always at my west and I will think to dine. A tear or two in time is all there's toot. And then in a click of the clock, toot toot, and doff doff we pop with sinnerettes in silkettes lining longroutes for His Diligence Majesty, our longdistance laird that likes creation. To whoosh!

— Meesh, meesh! Yesº, pet.º |shWe were too happy. I knew something would| I understand,º but listen, drawher nearest, Tizzy intercepted, flushing but flashing from her dove and dart eyes as she tactilifully grabbedº her male corrispondee to flusterº sweet nunsongs in his quickturned ear.º I know, benjamin brother,º butº listen, I want, girls palmassing, to whisper my whish. (She,º like them like us, me and you, had thoud he n'er it would haltin so lithe when leased is tacitempust tongue.)º Of course, engine dear, I'm ashamed for my life (I must clear my |shthrottlesh|) over this lost moment's gift of memento nosepaper which I'm sorry, my precious, is allathome I with grief can call my own but all the same, listen, Jaunick, accept this witwee's mite, though a jennyteeny witweenyº piece torn in one place,º from my hands in second place of a linenhall valentino with my fondest and much left to tutor. X.X.X.X. It was heavily balledictedº forº young Fr Ml, myº pettest parriageº priest, and you know who between us by your friend the pope, forty ways in forty nights, |shthat's the beauty of itsh|, look, scene it, ratty. |shToo perfectly priceless for wordssh|. And, listen, now do enhance me, oblige my fiancyº and bear it with you morn till life's e'en and, of course, when never you make usage of it, listen, please kindly think galways,º again or again, never forget, of one |shabsendeesh|,º not sester Maggy. |shAhim. That's the stupidest little| |shOnly be sure you don't catch your cold and pass it on to| And, since levret bounds and larks is soaring, |shdon't be all the nightsh|. And this, Joke, a sprig of blue speedwell,º just a spell of floralora so you'll mind your veronique. Of course, Jer, I know you know who sends it, |shpresents that pleasesh|, mercy, on the face of the waters like that film oboteº in the magginbottle. Awfully charming, of course,º but it doesn't do her justice, |shapart from her cattinesssh|.º Of course, please too write, won't you, |shand leave your little bag of doubtssh|º, |shinquisitivesh|, |shbehind yoush|,º unto your |shutterly thinesh|º and, thank you, forward it back by return pigeon's pneu |shto the lovingsh| in case I couldn't think who it was or any funforall happens I'll be so curiose to see in the Homesworth breakfast tablotts soº as I'll know etherways by pity bleu if it's good for my system,º what exquisite buttons, gorgiose,º in case I don't hope soon toº hear from you. |shAnd thanks ever so many for the ten and the one with nothing at all| |shI will tie a knot onº
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my stringamejip
sh| to |shletter you with my silky papersh|,º as I am givenº now to understand it will be worth my price in money one day, soº don't trouble to ans unless smthgº special as I am getting his pay and wants for nothing so I can live simply and solely for my wonderful kinkless and its loops of loveliness. |shWhen I throw away my rollets there's rings for| Flea,º a girl,º says it is her colour. So does B and L and as for V! And listen to it, Cheveluir!º |shSo distantsh| you're always. Bow your boche! Absolutely perfect! I will pack my comb and mirror to praxis myº oval owes and artless awes and it will follow you pulpicly as far as come back under all my eyes like my sapphire chaplets of ringarosary I will say for you to the Allmichael and solve quipuº while the dovedoves pick my mouthbuds (msch! msch!) with nurse Madge, |shmysh| linkingclass |shgirl,sh| she's a fright, poor old dutch,º in her sleeptalking |shwhen I paint the measles on hersh| and |shmudstuskers to make her a man. We. We. Issy donesh| |shthatsh|, |shI confesh!ºsh| But you'll love her for her hessians. |shWhat class she shows!sh|º Andº sickly black stockings,º |shcleryng's jumbles, salvadged from thesh| |shWashsh|.º |shIsn'tº it the cat's tonsils!sh| Simply killing, how she |shtidies her hairsh|! I call her Sosy because she's sosiety for me and she says sossy while I say sassy and she says will you have some more scorns while I say won't you take a few more schools and she talks about ithel dear while I simply never talk about athel darling.º But she'sº nice |shfor enticing my friendssh| and |shshe loves your stylesh|,º considering she breaks inº me shoes for me when I've arch trouble,º and she would kiss my white arms for me so gratefully but apart from that she's terribly nice really, my sistherº, round the elbow of Erne Streetº Lower.º Andº I'll be strictly forbidden always and true in my own way and private where I will long long to betrue you along with one who will so betrue you that not once while I beº betreu him not once willº he be betray himself. |shCan't you understand?sh| Here swheare!º |shO bothersh|, |shI must tell the trouthsh|! |shMy latest lad's loveliletter I am sore I done something| |shI like him lots coss he never cusses. Pity bonhom. Pip| |shI shouldn't say he's prettysh| but |shI'm cocksure he's shy. Why I love taking him out when I unletched his cordon gate. Ope, Jack, and atem! Obeathe my odoursº and he dote so. He fell for my lips, for my lisp, for my lewd speaker. I felt for his strength, his manhood, his — doº you mind?sh| |shThere can be no candle to hold to it, can there?sh| And, of course, dear professor,º |shI| You can trust me that though I change thy name though not the letter never while I become engaged with my first horsepower, |shmasterthief of heartssh|, I will give your lovely face of mine away, |shmy boyish bob,sh| not for |shtons of donkeyssh|, to my second mate with the twirlers,º the Engineerº with a passionflowerº (O,º the wicked untruth! Whatº a tell! Thatº he has bought me in his wellingtons what you haven't got!),º in one of those pure
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lupstucks of yours thankfully, Arrah of the passkeys,º no matter whatº. |shYou may beº certain of that, fluffsh|, |shnow I know how to tacklesh|. Lock |shmy nearestº next myselfsh|. So don't keep me now for a good boy for the love of |shmy fragrant saintsh|,º you villain, peppering with fear, my goodless graceless, or I'll first murder you.º Butº, hviskerº, meet me after by next appointment near you know Ships just there beside the Ship at the future poor fool's circuts of lovemountjoy square to show my disrespects.º Nowº, let me just your caroline for you, I must really so late. Sweetpigº, he'll be furious! |shHow he stalks to simselfsh| |shloutherº and loversh|, |shimmutating| My prince of the courts who'll beat me to love! And I'll be there when who knows where with the objects of which I'll knowor forget. We say. Trust us. Our game. |sh(For fun!)sh| The Dargle shall run dry the sooner Iº you deny. And Mrs A'Mara makeº it up and be friendsº with Mrs O'Morum!º Whoevery heard of such a thinkº? Till the ulmost of all elmoes shall stele our hartsº asthone!º |shI will write down all your names in my gold pen and| Everyday, precious, while m'm'ry's leaves are falling deeply on my Jungfraud's Messongesbook,º I will dream telepath posts dulcets on this isinglass stream (but don't tell him or I'll be the mort of him!) under the libans and the sickamours, the cyprissis and babilonias,º where the frondoak rushes to the ashsideº and the yewleaves too kisskiss themselves,º and 'twill carry on my hearz' wavesº my still water'sº reflections in words over Margrate von Hungaria, her Quaidy ways and her Flavin hair, to thee, Jack ahoy,º beyond the boysforus. |shSplesh of hiss splash springs your salmon. Twick twickº twinkle twings my twilightsh| as |shSarterdayº aftermoonº lex leap will smile on my fourinhanced twelvemonthsmindsh|. And what's this I was going to say, dean? O, I understand!º Listen, hereº I'll wait on Theeº till theº Thingavalla with beautiful Do Be Carefulº teacakes, more stuesser flavoured than vanillaº and blackcurrant there's a cure in, like a born gentleman till you'll resemble me, all the time you're awhile away.º I swear to you, I will, by Candlemas! And,º listen, joey, |shdon't be ennoyed with me,sh| my old evernew, when, by the end of your chapter,º you citch water on the wagon for me being turned a star I'll dubeurry my two fesces under Pouts Vanisha Creme, their way for spilling creem,º and, accent, umto extend my personnalitey to the latents,º I'll boy me for myself only of expensive rainproof of pinked elephant's breathº grey inº the loveliest sheerestº dearestº widowshood over airforce blue I am so wild for, my precious once, |shHope Bros,º Faith Street, Charity Corner,sh| as the bee loves her skyhighº |sh, for I always had a crush on heliotrope since the dusess of yore cycled round the Finest| Andº listen.º And never mind me laughing at what's at. Ever!º I was in the nerves |shbut it's my last daysh|. Always about this hour, I'm sorry,º when |shour gamings for Bruin
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and Noselongsh| is all oh you tease and afterdoon my lickle pussiness I stheal heimlick in my russians from the attraction parkº with my terriblitallbootsº calvescatcher, Pinchapoppapoff,º |shwho is going onº to be a jennyrollsh|,º at my nape, drenched, love, with dripping,º to affectionate slapmamma but last at night, look, after my golden violents wetting in my upperstairs splendidly welluminated with such lidlylac curtains wallpapered to match the cat and a fireplease,º keep looking,º of priceless pearlogs (Iº just want to see will he or are all Michaelsº like that)º I'll strip straight after devotions before his fondstare — and I mean it too (thyº gape to my gazing I'll bind and makeleash) —º and poke stiff under my isonbound with my soiedisante chineknees cheeckchubby chambermate for the night's foreign males and your name of Shane will come forth between my shamefaced whesen with other lipth I nakest open my thighthº when just woken by his toccatootletoo my first morning. So now, to thalk thildish, thome, theated with Mag at the oilthan we are doing to thay one little player before doing to deed. Andº a tiss to the tassie,º for lu and for tu! Coach me how to tumble, Jaime, and,º listen, |shwith supreme regards,sh| Juan, in haste, warn me which to ah ah ah ahº