Houyhnhnm Press (Mousehole: 2010)

Edited by Danis Rose and John O'Hanlon (details)

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As the lion in our teargarten remembers the nenuphars of his Nile (shall Ariuz forget Arioun or Boghas the baregams of the Marmarazalles from Marmeniere?) it may be, tots wearsense full a naggin in twentyg have sigilposted what in our brievingbust, thatº the besieged bedreamt him stillº and solely of those lililiths undeveiled which had undone him, gone for ayeº, and knew not the watchful treachers at his wake, andº theirs to stay. Fooi, fooi, chamermissies! Zeepyzoepy, larcenlads! Zijnzijn zijnzijnº! It may be, we moest ons hasten selves te declareer it, that he reglimmed? presaw? the fields of heat and yields of wheat where corngold Ysit? shamed and shone. It may be, we habben to upseek a bitty door our good township's courants want we knew't, that with his deepseeing insight (had not wishing oftbeenº but good time wasted), petrifiedº withinº his patriarchal shamanah, broadsteyne 'bove citie (Twillby! Twillby!), he,º conscious of enemies, a kingbilly whitehorsed in a Finglas mill, prayed as he sat on anxious seatº (kunt ye neat gift mey toe bout a peer saft eyballds!) during that three and a hellof hours' agony of silence, exº profundis malorum, withº unfeigned charity that his ouxtradorº wordwounder,º an engelsº to the teeth who, nomened Nash of Girahash,º would go anyoldwhereº in the weeping world on his mottled belly (the rab, the kreeponskneed!) for milk, music or married missusses,º might,º mercy to providential benevolence's (who hates prudencies)º astuteness,º unfold into the first of a distinguished dynasty of his posteriors, blackfaced connemaras not of the fold but elder children of his household, his most besetting of ideasº (pace his twolve predamanant passions) being the formation, as in more favoured climes, where the Meadow of Honey is guestfriendly and the Mountain of Joy receives, of a truly criminal stratum, Ham's cribcracking yeggs, thereby at last eliminating from the oppidump much desultory delinquency fromº all classes and masses with directly derivative decasualisation: sigarius (sic!) vindicat urbes terrorum (sicker!): and so, to mark a lankº taal she arter, the hobedienceº of the citizens elp the ealth of the ole.
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Now gode. Let us leave theories there and return to here's here. Now hear. 'Tis gode again. The teak coffin, Pughglasspanelfitted, feets to the east, was to turn in handyº later, and pitly patly near the porpus, materially effecting the cause. And this, liever, is the thinghowe. Any number of conservative public bodies, through a number of select and other committees having power to add to their number, before voting themselves and himself, town, port and garrison, by a fit and proper resolution, following a koorts order of the groundwet, once for all out of plotty existence,º as a forescut, so you maateskippey might to you cuttinrunner on a neuw pack of klerds, made him, while his body still persisted, their present of a protem grave in Moyelta of the best Lough Neagh pattern,º then as much in demand among misonesans as the Isle of Man today among limniphobes. Wacht even! It was in a fairly fishy kettlekerry afterº the Fianna's foreman had taken his handful,º enriched with ancient woods and dear dutchy deeplinns mid which were an old knoll and a troutbeck, vainyvain of her osiery and a chatty sally with any Wilt or Walt who would ongle her as Izaak did to the tickle of his rod and watch her waters of, her sillying waters of,º and there now, brownº peater everippleº (may their quilt gild lightly over his somnolutentº form!),º Whoforyou lies his last, by the wrath of Bog, like the erst curst Hun in the bed of his treubleu Donawhu.

Best. This wastohavebeen underground heaven, or mole's paradise, whichº was probably also an inversion of a phallopharosº intended to foster wheat crops and to gingerº up theº tourist tradeº (its architectº, Mgr Peurelachasse,º having been obcaecated lest he should petrifake suchanevver while the contractors,º Messrs T. A. Birkettsº and L. O. Tuohalls,º were made invulnerably venerable), firstº in the west, our misterbilder, Castlevillainous,º openly damned and blasted by means of a hydromine, systemº Sowan and Beltinyº, exploded from a reinvented T.N.T. bombingpost up ahoy of eleven hundred and thirtytwoº wingrests (circiter) to sternboordº out of his aerial thorpeto, Auton Dynamon, contacted with the expectant minefield by tins of improved ammoniaº lashed to her shieldplated gunwaleº and fused into tripup cablesº, slipping through tholesº and playing down from the conning tower into the ground battery fuseboxes, all differing as clocks from keys since nobody appeared to have the same time of beard, some saying by their Oorlog it was Sygstrygg'sº to nine, more holding with the Ryan vogt it was Dane to pfife. He afterwards, whaanever hisº blaetther began to fail off him and his rough bark was wholly husky and, stoop by stoop, he neared it (wouldmanspare!),º carefully lined the ferroconcrete result with rotproof bricks and mortarº, fassed to fossed, and retired beneath the heptarchy of his towerettes, the beauchamp, byward, bellº and lion, the white, the wardrobe and
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so encouraging (insteppen, alls als hats beliefd!) additional useful councils public with hoofd offdealings which were welholden of ladykants te huur out such as the Breeders' Union, the Guild of Merchants of the Stapleº et a.u.c.º to present unto him with funebral pompº over and above thatº a stone slab with the usual MacPelahº address of valedictionº, |sha very fairworded instance of falsemeaning adamelegysh|: We have done ours gohellt with you, Heer Herewhippit, overgiven it, skidoo!

But t'house and allaboardshoops! Show coffins, winding sheets,º cinerary urns, liealoud brassesº, snuffchests, poteentubbs, goodbuy bierchepesº, lacrimal vases, hoodendoses, reekwaterbeckers, breakmiddles, zootzaks for eatlust, including upyourhealthing rookworst and meathewersoftened forkenpootsies and for that matter, javel also, any kind of inhumationary bric au brac for the adornamentº of his glasstone honophreumº would, met these trein of konditiens, naturally follow, halas, in the ordinary course, enabling that roundtheworlder wandelingswight, did suches pass him, to live all safeathomely the presenile days of his life of opulence, ancient ere decrepitude, late lents last lenienceº till stuffering stage, whaling away the whole of the while, lethelulled (hypnos chilia eonon!)º between explosion and reexplosionº (Donnaurwatteur! Hunderthunder!) from grosskopp to megapod, embalmed, of grand age, rich in death anticipated.

But abide Zeit's sumonserving, rise after fallº: blueblitzboltedº from Sideriaº, buried burrowing in Gehinnon, there, knowing the hingeworms of the hallmirks of habitationlessness,º to proliferate through all his Unterwealth, seam by seam, sheol om sheol, and revisit our Uppercrust ofº Utilitarios, the divine one, the hoarder hidden, propagatingº his plutorpopular progeniem of pots and pans and pokers and puns from biddenland to boughtenland, the spearway fore the spoorway.

The other spring offensive on the heights of Abraham may have come about all quite by accidence. Foughtarundserº (for Breedabrooda had at length persuadedº him to have himself to be as septuply buried as the murdered Cian in Finntown)º had not been three monads in his watery grave (what vigilantes and ridings then and spuitwyne pledges with aardappel frittling!) when portrifaction, dreyfussed as ever, began to ramp, ramp, ramp, the boys are parching. A hoodenwinkle gave the signal and a blessing paper freed the flood. Why did the patrizien make him scares with his gruntens? Because the druiven were muskating at the door. From both Celtiberian camps (granting at the onset for the sake of argument that men on the two sides,º in New South Ireland and Vetera Uladh, bluemin and pillfaces, during the ferment With the Pope or On the Pope, had, moors or letts, grant ideas, grunted) all conditions, poor cons and dives mor, each, of
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course, |shon the purely doffensivesh| since the |sheternals were owlwise on their side every timesh|, were drawn toowards their Bellona'sº Black Bottom, onceº Woolwhite's Waltz (Ohiboh,º how becrimed, becursekissed and bedumbtoit!),º some for want of proper feeding in youth, others already caught in the honourable act of slicing outº careers for family and carvers in conjunction:º and,º if emaciated enoughº, the person garrotted may have suggested to whomeverº took the ham of, the plain being involved in darkness, low cirque waggery, nay, even the first old wugger of himself in the flesh, whiggissimus incarnadined,º when falsesighted by the ifsuchhewas bully on the hill,º a tory of the tories,º for there had circulated freely fairly among his opposition the feeling that in so hibernating Massa Eewackaº, who, previous to that demidetached life, had been known of barmicidal days, cook said, between soup and savouryº, to get outside his own length of rainbow trout and taerts atta tarn as no man of woman born, nay,º could, like the great crested grebeº, devour his three score tenº of roach per lifeday, ay, and as many minnow a minute (the big mix, may Gibbet choke him!),º was, like the salmon of his ladderleap,º all this time of totality,º noctu semenipsum manducare,º secretly and by suckage feedingº on his own misplaced fat.

Ladies did not disdain those pagan ironed times of the first cityº (called after the ugliest Danadune) when a frond was a friend inneedº to carry, as earwigs do their dead, their soil to the earthball where indeeth we shall calm decline, our legacy unknown. Venuses were gigglibly temptatrix, vulcans guffawably eruptious and the whole wives' world frockful of fickles. Fact, any human inyanº you liked any erenoon or efter would take her bare goddkinº out, or an even pair of hem (lugod! lugodoo!), andº prettily pray with him (or with em even),º everyhe to her taste, long for luck, tapette and tape petter and take pettest of all. Tip!º Wells she'd woo and wills she'dº win but how the deer knowed where she'd marry her!º Arbour, bucketroom, caravan, ditch?º Coach, carriage, wheelbarrow, dungcart?º

Kate Strong (tip!)º, a widow (tiptip!)º — she pulls a |shlanesh| picture for us |shinº a dreariodreama settingsh|, glowing and very vidual, of old dumplan as she nosed it, a homelike cottage of elvanstone with droppings of biddies, stinkend pusshies, moggies' duggies, rotten witchawubbles, festering rubbages and beggars' bullets, if not worse, sending salmofarious germs in gleefully through the smithereen panesWidow Strong, then, as her weaker had turned him to the wall (tiptiptip!),º did most all the scavenging from good King Hamlaugh's gulden dayne onwards,º though her lean besom cleaned but sparingly,º and her bare statement reads that, there being no macadamised sidetracksº on those old nekropolitan nightsº barring a footbatter, Bryant's Causeway, bordered with speedwell, white clover and sorrel a wood knows,
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which left off, being beaten, where the plaintiff was struck,º she left down,º as scavengersº who will be scavengersº must, her filthdump near the Serpentine in Phornix Park (at her time called Finewell's Keepsacreº but later tautaubapptossed Pat's Purge), |shthat dangerfield circling butcherswood where fireworker oh flaherty engaged a nutter of castlemallards and ah for archer stunned 'sº turk,sh| all over which fossil footprints, bootmarks, fingersigns, elbowdints, kneecaves,º breechbowlsº a.s.o. were all successively traced of a mostenvolvingº description. What subtler timeplace of the weald than such wolfsbelly castrament willº hide a leabhar from Thursmen's brandihands or a loveletter, lostfully hers, that would be lust on Ma, than there whereº ructions ended, than here where race began: and by four hands of forethought the first babe of reconcilement is laid in its last cradle of hume sweet hume. Give over it! And no more of it! So pass the pick for child sake! O men!

For hear Allhighest sprack for krischnians as for propagana fidies: andº his nuptial eagles sharped their beaks of prey: and every murphylº man of us, pome by pome, falls back into this terrine: as it was let it be, says he!º And it is as though where Agni araflammed and Mithra monished and Shiva slew as mayamutras the streamlettes of theº obluvial waters of our noarchic memory withdrew, windingly goharksome, to some hastyswastyº timberman torchpriest, flamenfan, the ward of the wind that lightened the fire that lay in the woodº that Jove bolt, at herº rude word:º Posidonius O'Fluctuary! Laveº that bloody stone as it is! Whatº are you doing your dirty minx and his big treeblock way up your path? Slipº around, you, by the rare of the minister'sº! Andº, you, take that barrel back where you got it, MacShane'sº, and go the way your old one went, Hatchettsbury Road! And, gish,º how they gushed away, the pennyfares, a whole school for scamper, with their sashes flying sish behind them, all the little pirlypettes! Issy-la-Chapelle! Any lucans, please?

Yes, the viability of vicinals if invisible is invincible. And we are not trespassing on his corns either. Look at all the plotsch! Flaminian!º If this was Hannibal's walk it was Hercules' work. And a hungried thousand of the unemancipated slaved the way. The mausoleum lies behind us (O Adgigasta, multipopulipater!º) and there are milestones in their cheadmilias faultering along the tramestrack, byº Brahm and Antonº Hermes! Per omnibus secular seekalarum.º Amain. But the past has made us this present of a rhedarhoad. So more boher toº O'Connell! Though rainyhidden, you're rhinohide. And if he's not a Romeo you may scallop your hat. Wereupunder in the fane of Saint Fiacre! Halte!

It was hard by the howe goesº there,º plainly on this disoluded and a buchan cold spotº, rupestric then, resurfaced that now is, that Luttrell sold
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if Lautrill bought, in the saddle of Brennan'sº (now Malpasplace?) pass, versts and versts from true civilisation, not where his dreams top their traums haltº (Beneathere! Beneathere!º) but where livland yontide meared with the wilde, saltlea with flood, that the attackler,º though under medium and between colours, withº truly cropatkinº pluckº engaged the Adversary who had more in his eye than was less to his leg but whom, forº plunder sake, he mistook in the heavy rain to be Oglethorpe or some other ginkus, Parr aparrently, to whom the headandheelless chickenestegg bore some michelangiolesqueº resemblance, making use of sacrilegious languages to the defect that he would challenge their hemosphores to exterminate them but he would cannonise the b—y b—r's life out of him and lay him out contritely as smart as the b—r had his b—y nightprayers said, three patrecknocksters and a couplet of hellmuirries (|shtout est sacré pour un sacreur,º femme à barbe ou homme-nourricesh|), atº the same time, so as to pluggwellº |shlet the blubbywail ghoats out of him,sh| catching holst of an oblong bar he had and with which he usually broke furnitures he rose the stick at him. The boarder incident prerepeated itself. The pair (whethertheywere Nippoluono engaging Wei-Ling-Taonº or de Razzkias trying to reconnoistre the general Boukeleff, man may not say)º struggled apairently for some considerable time (the cradle rocking equally to one and oppositely from the other on its law of capture and recapture) underº the All-Inº rules around the booksafe, fighting like purple top and tipperuhry Swede, as stuck as that catº to that mouse in that tube of that christchurch organ (didº the imirageº of Girl Cloud Pensive floatº above them,º light young charm, in ribbons and pigtail?),º and in the course of their tussle the tallerº man, who had opened his bully bowl to beg,º said to the miner who was carrying the worm (a handy term for the portable distillery which consisted of three vats, two jars and several bottles,º though we purposely say nothing of the stiff, both parties having an interest in the spirits):º

Letº me go, Pautheen!º I hardly knew ye.

Laterº on, after the solstitial pause for refleshmeant, the same manº (or a different and younger ham of the same himº) asked in the vermicular with a very oggly chew-chin-grin as if he forgot somethingº:

Wasº six victolios fifteen pigeon takee offa you, tell he me, stlongfella, by pickypockyº ten to foul months behindaside?

Thereº were some further collidabanter and severe tries to convert for the best part of an hour and now a woden affair in the shape of a webley (we at once recognise our old friend Ned of so many illortemporate letters) fell from the intruserº who (|shSecremented Serviour of the Divine Zeal!sh|)º whereupon became friendly and, saying not his shirt to tearº, to know wantedº,
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joking and knobkerries all aside layingº, if his change companion,º who stuck still to the invention of his strongbox withº a tenacity corrobberating their mutual tenitorial rights, happened to have the loots change of a tenpound crickler about him at the moment, addling that,º hap so, he would pay him back the six vics odd, do you see, out of that for what was taken on the man of samples last Yuni or Yuly, do you follow me, Capn? To this the other, Billi with the Boule, who had mummed and mauled up to that (for he was hesitency carried to excelcism) rather amusedly replied:

Woowooº would you be grossly surprised, Hill, to learn that, as it so happens, I honestly have not such a thing as the loo, as the least chance of a tinpanned crackler anywhere about me at the present mohomoment but I believe I can see my way, as you suggest, it being Yuletide or Yuddanfest and as it's mad nuts, son, for you when it's hatter's hares, mon, for me, to advance you something like four and sevenpence between hopping and troppingº which you might just as well have, boy baches, to buy J. J. and S.º with.

Thereº was a minute silence before memory's fire's rekindling and then. Heart alive! Whwh atº very first wind of gaygayº and whiskwy,º 's wickº ears pricked up, the starving gunman, strike him pink for a chip off the old flintº, became strangely calm and forthright sware by all his lards porsenal that the thorntree of Sheolº might ramify up his Sheofon to the lux apointlex but he would go good to him suntime, marxº my word fortº (in the Nichtian glossery which purveys aprioric roots for aposteriorious tongues this is nat language at any sinse of the world and one might as fairly go and kish his sprogues as fail to certify whether the wartrophy eluded at some lives earlier was that somethink like a jug, to what, a coctable French hen or the portlifowlium of hastes and leisures, about to continue),º remarxing inº languidoily, seemingly much more highly pleased than tongue could tell at this opening of a lifetime and the foretaste of the Dun Bank pearlmothers and the boy to wash down which he would feed to himself in the Ruadh Cow at Tallaght and then into the Good Woman at Ringsend and after her inat Conway's Inn at Blackrock and, first to fall, cursed be all, where appetite would keenest be, funeral fare or fun fain real,º atte Adam and Eve's in Quantity Street by the grace of gameº |shQueenº Tailte, her willsh| and testament:º

Youº stunning little southdowner! I'd know you anywhere, Declaney, let me trucefullyº tell you,º in or out of the lexinctonº of life,º and who the hell else, be your blanche patch on the boney part!º Goalball I've struck this daylit dielate night of nights, by golly! My hat, you have some ballyº German grit, sundowner!

Heº spud in his faust (axin): he toped the raw best (pardun):º he poked his pick (a tip is a tap): and he tucked his friend's leave. Andº with that theº queer
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exchanged the pax in anº embrace or poghue puxy as practised between brothers of the same breast, hillelulia, killelulia, allenalaw, and, having ratified before the god of the day their torgantruce which belittlers have schmallkalled the treatyng to cognac, turning his fez menialstrait in the direction of Moscaº, he first got rid of a few bitsmillersº and hurooshoos and levanted off with tubular jurbulance at a bull's run over the assback bridge, spittingº his teeths on roots,º with the seven and four in danegeld and their humoral hurlbat or other uncertain weapon of lignum vitae (but so evermore rhumanasant of a toboggan poop) picked up,º to keep some crowplucking appointment with some rival rialtorº anywheres between Pearidge and the Littlehorn while this poor delaneyº who they left along with the confederate fender behindº and who, albeitº ballsbluffed, bore up wonderfully wunder all of it with a whole number of plumsized contusiums, plus alasalah bruised coccyx, all over him, reported the occurrenceº in the best way he could, to the flabbergaze of the whole lab, givingº the Paddybanners the military salute as for his exilicy's theº O'Daffy, in justifiable hope that, in nobiloroman review of the hugely sitisfactuary conclusium of their negotiations and the jugglemonkysh agripment deinderivative, some lotion or fomentation of poppyheads would be jennerously exhibited to the parts,º at the nearest watchhouse onº Vicar Lane, the white ground of his face all covered with diagonallyº redcrossed nonfatal mammalian blood as proof positiveº of the seriousness of his character and that he was bleeding in self defience (stanch it!) from the nostrils, lips, pavilion and palate, while some of his hitter's hairs had been pulled off his knut's head by Colt though otherwise his allround health appeared to be middling along as it proved most fortunate that not one of the two hundred and six bones and five hundred and one muscles in his corso was a whit the whorse for her whacking. Herwho?

Nowthen, leaving clashing ash, brawn and muscle and brassmade to oust earthenbornº and rockcrystal to wreck isinglass but wurming along gradually for our savings backtowards motherwaters so many miles from bank and Dublin stone (|sholympiadingsh| even till the |sheleventh dynasty to reach that thuddysickend Hamlaughsh|) and to the question of boney's unlawfully obtaining a pierced paraflamme and claptrap fireguard,º there crops out the still more salient point of the politish leanings and town pursuits of our forebeer, El Don De Dunelli (|shmay his ship thicked stick in the bottol of the river and all his crewsers stock locked in the burral of the seassh|!), who,º when within the black of your toenail, sir, of being mistakenly ambushed by one of the uddahveddahsº and as close as made no matter, mam, to being kayoed offhandº when the hyougono heckler with the Peter the Painter wanted to hole him, was consistently practising the first of the primary and imprescriptible
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liberties of the pacific subject by circulating (be British, boys, toº your bellybone and chuck a chum a chance!) alongst one of our umphrohibited semitary thrufahrts, open to buggy and bike, to walk, Wellington Park Road,º with the curb or |shquaker's quacknostrumsh| under his auxter and his alpenstuck in his redhand, a highly commendable exercise, or, number two of our acta legitima plebeia, on the brink (beware to baulk a man at his will!) of taking place upon a public seat, to what, bare by Butt's, most easterly (but all goes west!) of blackpool bridges, as a public protest and naturlikeviceº without intent to annoy either, being praisegood thankfully for the wrathbereaved ringdove and the fearstung boaconstrictor and all the more right jollywell pleased, which he was, at having other people's weather.

But to return to the Atlanticº and Phenitia Proper. As if that were not to be enough for anyone but little headway, if any, was made in solvingº the wasnottobe crime conundrumº when a child of Maam, Festy King, of a family long and honourably associated with the tar and feather industries, who gave an address in old plomauschº Mayo of the Saxons in the heart of a foulfamed potheen district, was subsequently haled up at the Old Bailey on the calends of Marsº under an incompatibly framed indictment of both the counts (from each equinoxious points of view, the one fellow's fetch being the other follow's person),º that is to see, flying cushats out of his ouveralls and making fesses immodst his forces on the field. Oyeh! Oyeh! When the prisoner, soaked in methylated, appeared in dry dock, appatently |shambrosiaurealisedsh| likeº |shKersse's Korduroy Karikaturesh|, wearing (besides stains, rents and patches)º his fight shirt, straw braces, souwester and a policeman's corkscrew trowswers all out of the trueº (as he had purposely torn up all his cymtrymanx bespokes in the mamertime), deposing for his exutionº with all the fluors of sparse in the royal Irish vocabularlyº how the whole padderjagmartin tripiezite suet and all the sulfeit of copperas had fallen off him quatz unaccountably like the chrystalisations of Alum on Even while he was trying for to stick fire to himcell (|shin feacht he was dripping as he found upon stripping for a pipkin of maltº as he feared the coold rainesh|), itº was attempted by the crown (|shP.C. Robortsh|) to show that King, elois Crowbar, once known as |shMelekysh|, impersonating a climbing boy, rubbed some pixes of any luvial peatsmoor o'er his face, plucks and pussas, with a clanetourf as the best means of disguising himself and was atº the middlewhite fair in Mudford of a Thoorsday, feishts of Peeler and Poleº, under the illassumed names of Tykingfest and Rabworc pickedº by him and Anthony outº of a tellafun book, ellegedlyº with a pedigrueº pig (unlicensed) and a hyacinth. They were on that sea |shby the plain of Irsh| nine hundred and ninetynine years and they never cried crack
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or ceased from regular paddlewicking till that they landed their two and a trifling selves, amadst camel and ass, greybeard and suckling, priest and pauper, marmatronº and merrymeg, into the meddle of the mudstorm. The gathering, convened by the Irish Angricultural and Prepostoral Ouraganisationsº to help the Irish muck to look his brother dane in the face,º and attended, thanks to Larry,º by large numbers ofº christies and jews'º totems, tospite of the deluge, was distinctly of a scattery kind when the ballybricken he could get no good of, after cockofthewalking through a few fancyfought mains,º ate some of the doorweg, the pikey later selling the gentleman ratepayer because she, Francie's sister, that is to say,º ate a whole side of herº (the animal's) sty,º Qui Sta Troia, in order to pay off, hiss or lick, six doubloons fifteen arrears of his, the villain's not the rumbler's,º rent.

Remarkable evidence was given, anon, by an eye, ear, nose and throat witness, whom Wesleyan chapelgoers suspected of being a plainclothesº priest, W— P—,º situate at Nullnull, Medical Square, who, upon letting down his rice and peacegreen coverdisk and having been sullenly cautioned against yawning while being grilled, smiledº (he had had a onebumper at parting from Mrs Molroe in the morning) and stated to his eliciter underº his morse mustaccents (gobbless!) thatº heº slept with a bonafides and that he would be doorbringingº there that night and how he was pleasedº to remember the filth of November, hatinaringº, rowdy O, which, with the jiboulees of Juno and the dates of ould lanxiety, was going, please the Rainmaker, to decembs within the ephemerides of profane history, all one with Tournay, Yetstoslay and Temorah, and thatº one thing which would pigstickularly strike a person of such sorely tried observational powers as Sam, him and Moffattº, though |shtheirs not to reason whysh|, the striking thing about it was that he was patrified to see, hear, taste and smellº on Struggle Streetº as his time of night howº Hyacinth O'Donnell, B.A.,º described in the calendar as a mixer and wordpainterº, with part of a sivispacem (Gaeltact for dungfork) on the fair green at the hour of twentyfourº o'clock sought (|shthe bullycassidy of the friedhoffersh|!) to sack, sock, stab and slaughter singlehanded another two of the old kings, Gashº MacGaleº and Roaring O'Crian, Jr,º both changelings, unlucalised, of no address and in noncommunicables, between him and whom ever since wallops before the Mise of Lewesº bad blood existed on the ground of the boer's trespass on the bullº or because he firstparted his polarbeeber hair in twowaysº or because they were creepfoxed andt grousuppers over a nippy in a novelettaº or because they could not say meace (mute and daft!º), meatheº. The lifigantsº, he said, local congsmen and donalds, |shkings of the arans and the dalkeys, kings of mud and tory, even the goat king of Killorglin,sh| wereº egged on by their
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supporters in the shape of bitterwomenº with bowstrung hair of Carrothagenuine ruddinessº waving crimson petties and screaming like stuck kruegersº from Isod's towertop.

Thereº were cries from the thicksets in court and from the macdublins on the bohernabreenaº of: Mind Messer,º the banº from Banagher, Mick, sir! Prodooce O'Donner. A Bu! |shExhibit his relics!sh|º Use the tongue mor! Give lip less!

Butº it oozed out in Deadman'sº Dark Scenery Courtº through crossexanimation of the casehardened testis that when and where that knife of knifes the threepartiedº ambushº was laid (roughly spouting around halfhours 'twixtº dusk in dawn, by Waterhose's,º Meddle Europeic Time, near Stop and Thinkº, high chief evervirens and only abfalltree in auld the land) there was not as much light from the widowed moon as would dim a child's altar. The mixer, accordingly, was bluntly broached, and |shin the best baselsh| to boot, as to whether he was one of those lucky cocks for whom the audible-visible-gnosible-edible world existed. That he was only too |shcognitively conatively cogitabundantlysh| sure of it because, living, loving, breathing and sleeping morphomelosophopancreatesº, as he most significantly did,º wheneveryº he thought he heard he saw he felt he made a bell clipperclipperclipperclipper. Whether he was practically sure too of his lugs and truiesº in this king and blousymanº businessº? That he was pediculously so. Certified? As cad could be. Be lying?º Be the lonee I will. It was Morbus O'Somebodyº? A'quiteº. Szerday's sonº? A satyr in weddens. And how did the greeneyed mister arrive at the B.A.?º That it wasº like his poll. A crossgrained trapper with murty odd oogs, awlforatedº ares, inquiline nase and a twitcherousº mouph? He would be. Who could bit you att to a tenyerdfuul when aastalled? Ballera jobbera. Some majar bore too? Iguines. And with a stopper head, bottle shoulders, a barrel bauck andº tumblerous legs, redipnominated Helmingham Erchenwyne Rutter Egbert Crumwall Odin Maximus Esme Saxon Esa Vercingetorix Ethelwulf Rupprecht Ydwalloº Bentley Osmund Dysart Yggdrasselmann? Holy Saint Eiffel, the very phoenix! It was Chudley Magnall once more between the deffodates and the dumb scene? The two childspies was preesing him auza de Vologneº but the renting of his rock was from the three wicked Vuncouverers.º Forests bent down awhits, arthou sure? Yubete, Cumhilumº comes! One of the oxmen's thingabossers, hvad? Wirrgeling and boeuffickly bucephull.º And had he been refresqued by the founts of bounty playing there—is—a—grain—alelandº in Long's gourgling barral? A loss of lordedwardº and a lack of sirphilip a surgeonedº showeradown could suck more gargling bubbles out of the five lamps in Portterand's praise.º Wheataured, however, and with fallen mammaries?º As whouseº wouldn't, laving his leaftime in Blackpool. Bottº, of course, he could call himself Tem tooº if he
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had time to?
You butt he could anytom. When he pleased? Win and place. A stoker temptated by evesdripping againstº the driver who was a witness as well? Sacred avatar, how the devil did they guess it!º Two dreamyums in one dromium? Yes and no error. And both as like as a duel of lentils? Peacisely. So he was pelted out of the coram populoº, was he? Be the powers that be, thatº he was. |shThe prince in principel should not expose his person? Macchevuole!sh| Rooskayman, kameradº? Sooner Gallwegian he would say. Not unintoxicated, fair witness? Drunk as a fishup. Askt to whether she minded whither he smuked? Not if he barkst into phlegms. Anent his ajacciulationsº to his Crosscann Lorne, cossaº? It was corso in cursu on coarser again. The gracious miss was we not doubt sensible how yellowatty on the forx was altered? That she esually was, O'Dowd me nut!º As to his religion, if any? It was the see-you-Sundayº sort. Exactly what he, Sour Harry,º meant by a pederast prig? Bejacob's goat, justº a gent who prayed his lent. And if thisº middleclassed portavorous was a usefulº beast? Bynight as useful as a vomit to a shorn man. If he had ragnarisedº dtheir gcourts marsheyls? Dthat nday in ndays he had. Lindendelly, coke or skillies,º spell me gart without a gate? Harlyadrope. The grazing rights (Mrs Magistra Martinetteº) expired with the expiry of the goat's sire, if they were not mistaken? That he exactly could not tell the worshipfuls but his mother-in-waders had the recipis for the price of the coffin and that he was there to tell them that herself was the velocipede that could tell them kitcat. A maundarin tongue in a pounderin jowl? Father ourder about the mathers of prenanciation. Distributary endings? And we recommends. Quare hircum? No answer. Unde gentium fe …? No ah. Are you not danzzling on the age of a vulcano? Siar, I am deed. And how olld of him? He was intendant to study pulu. Which was meant in a shirt of two shifts macoghamade or up Finn'sº threehatted ladder? That a head in thighs under a bush at the sunface would bait a serpent to a millrace through the heather. Arm bird colour defdum ethnic fort perhapsº? Sure and glomsk handy jotalpheson as well. Hokey jasons, then, in a pigeegeeses? On a pontiff's order as ture as there's an ital on atac. As a gololy bit to joss? Leally and tululy. Butº why this hankowchaff and whence this second tone, son-yet-sun?º He had the cowtaw in his buxers,º flay of face. So this that Solasistras, setting odds evens at defiance, took the laud from Labouriter? What displaced Tob, Dilke and Halley, not been greatly in love with the game. And, changing the venders fromº the king's head to the |shrepublican's armssh|, asº to the pugnaxities evinxed from flagfall to antepost during the effrays round fatherthyme's beckside and the regents in the plantsown raining, with the skiddystars and the morkernwindup, how they appealed to him then? That it was wildfires night on all the bettygallaghers, Mickmichael'sº soords shrieking shrecks
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through the wilkinses and Neckanicholas'º toastingforks pricking prongs up the tunnybladders. Let there be fight? And there was. Foght.º On the site of the Angel's, you said? Guiney'sº Gap, he said, between what they said and the pussykitties. In the middle of the garth, then? That they mustn't touchº it. The devoted couple was or were only two disappainted solicitresses on the job of the unfortunate class on Saturn's mountain fort? That was about it, jah! And Camellus then said to Gemellus: I should know you? Parfaitly. And Gemellus then said to Camellus: Yes, your brother? Obsolutely. And if it was all about that, egregious sir? About that and the other. If he was not alluding to the whole in the wall? That he was when he was not eluding from the whole of the woman. Briefly, how such beginall finally struck him now? Like the crack that bruck the benkº in Multifarnham. Whether he fell in with what theyº meant? Thatº he suppoxed he did. |shThos Thoris, Thomar's Thom? The rudacist rotter in| |shSurtopicalsh|? And |shsubhumansh|. If it was, in yappanoise language, ach bad clap? Oo! Caught offal mist?º Shocking!º Blady­ugh­foul­moeck­lenburg­whura­whora­scorta­strumpa­pornanenny­kock­sapastippa­tappa­tupperstrippuck­puttanach, eh? Ah! Such as turly pearced our really's? Thatº he might, that he might never, that he might never that night, treely and rurally!º Augs and ohrs with Rhian O'Kehley,º to put it tertianly, we wrong? You have it alright.º

Meirdreach an Oincuish!

Butº a new complexion was put upon the matter when to the perplexedlyº uncondemnatory bench (whereon punic judgeship strove with penal law) the senior king of all, Pegger Festy, as soon as the outer layer of stucckomuck had been removed at the request of a few live jurors, declared in a loudburst of poesyº through his Brythonic interpreter on his oath, mhuith peisth mhuiseasº fearra bheura muirre hriosmas, whereas take notice be the relics of the bones of the storybouchalº that was ate be Cliopatrick (the sow) princess of parked porkers, afore God and all their honours and king's commons that, what he would |shswear to the Tierney of Dundalgan or any other Tierney,sh| yif live thurkells folloged him about sure that was no steal and that, neverthelessº what was deposited from that eyebold earbig noseknaving gutthroat, he did not fire a stone either before or after he was born down and up to that time. And, incidentalising that they might talk about Markarthy or they might walk to Baalastartey or they might join the nabour party and come on to Porterfeud,º this the sockdologer had the neck to endorse with the head bowed on him over his outturned noreaster by protesting to his lipreaders with a justbeencleaned barefacedness, abeam of moonlight's hope, in the same trelawney what he would impart, pleas bench, to the Llwyd Josasº and the gentlemen in Jury's and the four of Masterers,
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whoº had been all those yarns yearning for that good one about why he left Dublin, that, |shamreeta beakersh| coddling doom, as an Inishman was as goodsº as any cantonnatal, if he was to parish by the market steak befareº the dorming of the mawnº heº skuld never ask to see sight or light of this world or the other world or any either world ofº Tyre-nan-Og, as true as he was there in that jackabox that minute, or wield or wind (no thanks t'yous!) the inexousthausthible wassailhorn of iskybaush totº the hailth up the wailth of the endknown abgod of the fire of the moving way of the hawks with our hairoesº in Warhorror,º if ever in all his exchequered career he up or lave a chancery handº to take or throw the sign of a mortal stick or stone at man, yoelamb or salvation army either before or after being puptised down to that most holy and everº blessed hour. Awham.º

Here,º upon the halfkneed castleknocker's attempting kithoguishly (in his excitement the laddo hadº broken exthro Castilian into which the whole audience perseguired and pursuited him olla podrida)º to lilt his holymess the paws and make the sign of the Roman Godhelic faix (xaroshieº, zdrst!), outbrokeº much yellachters from the owners in theº heall (Ha!) in which, under the mollification of methaglin, the testifighter reluctingly, but with ever so ladylike indecorum, joined. (Ha! Ha!)º

The hilariohoot of Pegger's Windup cumjostledº as neatly with the tristitone of the Wetº Pinter's as were they, isce et ille,º equals of opposites, evolved by a onesame power of nature or of spirit, iste, as the sole condition and means of its himundher manifestation and polarised for reunion by the symphysis of their antipathies. Distinctly different were their duadestiniesº.

Whereasº the maidies of the bar (a pairless trentene, a lunarised score), whenº the eranthus myrrmyrred Show'm the Posed,º fluttered and flattered around the willingly pressed, nominating him for the swiney prize, complimenting him, the captivating youth, on his having all his senses about him, stincking thyacinths through his curls (O feen! O deur!) and bringing busses to his cheeks, their masculine Oirisher Rose (his neece cleur!), and legando round his nice new neck for him and pizzicagnoling his woollywags,º with their dindy dandy sugar de candy,º couriermechree me postheen flown,º to believeº them of all his untiring young dames and send themº treats in their times, Ymen,º it was not unobserved of those presents, their worships, how, of one among all, her deputised to defeme him by the Lunar Sisters' Celibacy Club, a lovelooking leapgirl, all all alonely, Gemma Gentiaº of the Makegiddyculling Reeks, he, wan and pale in his unmixed admiration, seemed blindly, mutely, tastelessly, tactlessly innamorate,º with heruponhim in shining aminglement, the shaym of his hisnº shifting into the shimmering of her hersº (youthsy, beautsy, hee's her chap and shey'll tell
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memmas when she gays whom
)º till the wild wishwish of her sheeshea melted moistº musically mid the dark deepdeep of his shayshaun.

And whereas distracted (for was not just this in effect which had just caused that the effect of that which it hadº caused to occur?) the four justicers laid their wigs together,º Untius, Muncius, Punchus and Pylax,º but could do no worse than promulgate their standing verdict of Nolans Brumans whereonafterº King, having murdered all the English he knew, picked out his pockets and left the tribunal scotfree, trailing his |shTommeylommey'ssh| tunic in his hurry, thereinunder proudly showing off the blink pitchº to his britgits to prove himself (an't plase yous!) a rael genteel. To the Switz bobbyguard's curial but courtlike: Commodore valley O hairy, Arthre jennyrosy?,º the firewaterloover returted with such a vinesmelling fortytudor ages rawdownhams tanyouhide as would turnº the latten stomach even of a tumass equinous (|shwe were prepared for the chap's clap cap, the accent, but, took us as, by,º surprise and now we're geshing it like gush gash from a burnersh|!) so that all the twofromthirty advocatesses within echo, pulling up their briefs at the krigkry Shun the Punman!,º safely and soundly soccered that fenemine Parish Poser (howº dare he!) umprumptu rightoway hames, much to his thanks, gratiasagam, to all the wrong donatricesº (for like your true venuson Esau he was dovetimid as the dears at Bottome),º toº biss Drinkbottle'sº Dingy Dwellings (toegang)º where he shat in (zoo) likeº the muddy goalbirdº who he was (dun), the chassetitties belles conclaiming: You and your gift of your gaft of your garbageº abaht our Farvver! andº gaingridando: Hon! Verg! Nau! Putor! Skam! Schams! Shames!

And so it all ended. Artha kama dharma moksa. Ask Kavya for the kay. And so everybody heard their plaint and all listened to their plause. The letter! The litter! And the soother the bitther! Of eyebrow pencilled, by lipstipple penned. Borrowing a word andº begging the question and stealing tinder andº slipping like soap. From dark Rosaº Lane a sigh and a weep, from Lesbia Looshe the beam in her eye, from lone Coogan Barry his arrow of song, from Sean Kelly's anagrim a blush at the name, from I am the Sullivan that trumpeting tramp, from Suffering Dufferin the sit of her style, from Kathleen May Vernon her mebbeº fair efforts, from Fillthepot Curran his scotchlove machreether, from hymn Opº 2 Phil Adolphos the weary O, the leery, O, from Samyouwill Leaver or Damyouwell Lover that jollyº old molly bit or that bored saunter by, from Timm Finn again's weak, tribes,º loss of strength to his sowheel, from the wedding on the greene, agirlies, the gretnass of joyboys, from Pat Mullen, Tom Mallon, Dan Meldon, Don Maldon a slickstick picnic made in Moate by Muldoons. The solid man saved by his sillied woman. Crackajolking away like a hearse on fire. The elm that whimpers
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at the top told the stone that moans when stricken. Wind broke it. Wave bore it. Reed wrote of it. Syce ran with it. Hand tore it and wild went war. Hen trieved it and plight pledged peace. It was folded with cunning, sealed with crime, uptied by a harlot, undone by a child. It was life but was it fair? It was free but was it art? The old hunks on the hill read it to perlection. It made ma make merry and sissy so shy and rubbed some shine off Shem and put some shame into Shaun. Yet Una and Ita spell famine with drought and Agrippa, the propastored, spillsº tripulations in his threne. Ah, furchte fruchte, timid Danaides! Ena milo melomouº, frai is frau and swee is too, swee is two when swoo is free,º ana mala woe is we! A pair of sycopanties with amygdaleine eyes, one old obster lumpky pumpkin and three meddlars on their slies. And that was how, framm sin fromm son, acity arose, finfin funfun, asittingº arowsº. Now tell me, tell me, tell me then!

What was it?


?......... O!º

So there you are now there they were,º when all was over again, the four with them, setting around upin their judges' chambers, in the muniment room ofº their marshalsea, under the auspicesº of Lally, around their old traditional tables of the law like somany solansº to talk it over allthesameagainº. Well and druly dry. Suffering law the dring. Accourting to king's evelyns. So help her goat and kiss the bouc. Festives and highajinks and jintyaun and her beetyrossy bettydoaty and not to forget now a'duna o'darnel. The four of them and thank court now there were no more of them. So pass the push,º for port' sakeº. Be it soon. Ah ho! And do you rememberº Singabob, the badfather,º the same, the great Howdoyoucallem, and his old nickname, Dirty Daddy Pantaloons,º in his monopoleums, behind the war of the two roses, with Michael Victory, the sheemen's preester, before he caught his paper dispillsation from the poke, old Minace and Minster York? Do I mind? I mind the gush off the mon like Ballybock manure works on a tradewinds day. And the O'Moyly gracies and the O'Briny rossies chaffing him bluchface and playing him pranks. How do you doº todo, North Mister? Get into my way! Ah dearome forsailorsheº! Gone over the bays! When ginabawdy meadabawdy! Yerra, why would sheº heed that old gasometer with his hooping coppin and his dyinboosycough and all the birds of the southside after her, Minxy Cunningham, their dear divorcee darling, jimmies and jonnies,º to be her jo? Hold hard. |shThere's three other corners to our isle's cork| Sure, 'tis well I can telesmell him,º H2CE3 that would take a township's breath away! Gob and I nose him too asº well as I do meself, heaving up the Kay Wall by the 32 to 11º with his limelooking horsebags full of
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sesameseed, the Whiteside Kaffir, and his sayman's effluvium and his scentpainted voice, puffing out his thundering big brown cabbage! Pa! Thawt I'm glad a gull for his pawsdeen fiunn! Goborro, sez he, Lankyshiesº! Gobugga ye, sez I,º O breezes! I sniffed that lad long before anyone. Itº was when I was in my farfather out at the west and she and myself, the redheaded girl, firstnightersº down Sycomore Lane. Fine feelplay we had of it mid the kissabetts frisking in the kool kurkle dusk of theº lushiness. My perfume of the pampas, says she (meaning me), puttingº out her netherlights, I'dº sooner one precious sip at yourº pure mountain dew than enrich my acquaintance with that big brewer's belch.

And now a drink is shorter than a story.º And so they went on, the fourbottle men, the analists, unquam and nunquamº and lunquamº again, their anschluss,º about her whosebefore and his wheresafterº and how she was lost away away in the fern andº how he was founded deap on deep in anearº and the rustlings and the twitterings and the raspings and the snappings and the sighings and the pantings and the ukukukingsº and the (hist!) the springapartings and the (hast!) the bybyscuttlings and all the scandalmunkers and the pure craigs that used to be (up) that time living and lying and rating and riding round Nunsbelly Square. And all the buds in the bush. And the laughing jackass. Harik! Harik! Harik! The rose is white in the darik! And sunfella'sº nose has got rhinoceritis from haunting the roes in the parik! So all rogues lean to rhyme. And contradrinking themselves about Lillytrilly law pon hilly and Mrs Niall of the Nine Corsages and the old markiss, theirº besterfar, and, arrah, sure there was never a marcus at all at all among the manlies,º and dear sir armouryº, queer sir rumoury,º and the old house by the churpelizodº and all the goings on so very wrong long before when they were going on retreat inº the old gammeldags, the four of them, in Milton's Park under lovely Father Whisperer and making her love with his stuffstuff in the languish of flowers and feeling to find was she mushymushy, and wasn't that very both of them, the saucicissters, a drahereen o machree!º, and (peep!) meeting waters most improper (peepette!) ballround the garden, trickle trickle trickle triss, please, miman, may I go flirting?º farmer'sº gone with a groom,º how they used her, mused her, licksed her and cuddled. I differ with ye! Are you sure of yourself now?º You're a liar, excuse me! I will not and you're another! And Lully holding their breach of theº peace for them. Pool loll Lolly! To give and to take! And to forgoº the pasht! And all will be forgotten! Ah ho! It was too too bad to be falling out about her kindness pet and the shape of ooooooooourang'sº time. Well, all right, Lelly. And shakeahand. And schenkusmore. For Craig sake. Be it suck.

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Well, even should not the framing up of such figments in the evidential order bring the true truth to light as fortuitously as a dimseer'sº setting of a starchart might (heaven helping it!) uncover the nakedness of an unknown body in the fields of blue or as forehearingly as the sibspeeches of all mankind have foliated (earth seizing them!) from the root of somefunner'sº stotter,º all the soundest sense to be found immense our special mentalists now holds (securus iudicat orbis terrarum) that by such playing possum our hagious curious encestor bestly saved his brush with his posterity, you, charming coparcenors, us, heirs of his tailsie. Gundogs of all breeds were beagling with renounced urbiandorbic bugles, hot to run him, given law, on a scent breasthigh, keen for the worry. View! From his holt outratted,º across the Juletide's genial corsslands of Humfries Chase from Mullinahob and Peacockstown, then bearing right upon Tankardstown, the outlier, a white noelan which Mr Loewensteilº FitzUrse'sº basset beaters had first misbadgered for a bruin of some swart, led bayers the run, then through Raystown and Harlockstownº and, louping the loup, to Tankardstown again. Ear cannyº hare for doubling,º through Cheeverstown they raced him, through Loughlinstown and Nutstown to wind him by the Boolies. But from the good turn when he last was lost, check, upon Ye Hill of Rut in full winter coat with ticker pads, pointing for his rooming houseº inº his rolltoproyal hessians,º a deaf fuchser's volponism hid him close in covert, miraculously ravenfed and buoyed up, in rumer, reticule, onasum and abomasum, upon (may Allbrewham have his mead!) the creamclotted sherriness of cinnamon syllabub.º Mikkelraved, Nikkelsaved. Hence hounds hied home. Preservative perseverance in the reeducation of his intestines wasº thusº the rebuttal by whilk he sort of git the big bulge on the whole bunch of spasoakers, dieting against glues and gravies, in that sometime prestreet protown. Vainly violence, virulence and vituperation sought wellnigh utterly to attax and abridge, to derail and depontify, to enrate and inroad, to ongoad and unhume the great shipping mogul and underlinen overlord.º

But the spoil of hesitants, the spell of hesitency. His atake is it ashe, tittery taw tatterytail, hasitense humponadimply, heyheyheyhey a winceywencky.

Assemblymenº murmured. Reynard is slow!

One feared for his days. Did there yawn? 'Twas his stommick. Eruct? The libber. A gush? From his viscealsº. Pung?º Delivver him, orelode! He had laid violent hands on himself, it was brought in Fugger's Newsletter, lain down, all in,º fagged out, with equally melancholy death. For the triduum of Saturnalia his goatservant had paraded hiz willingsons in the Forum while the jenny infanted the lass to be greeted raucouslyº with houx and epheusº and (the Yard stated)º measured with missiles too from a hundred of manhood
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and a wimmering of weibes. Big went the bang: then wildewide was quiet: a report: badoldkaraktercommonorrumcanbung:º silence: last Fama put it under ether. The noase or the loalº had dreven him blem,º blem, stun blem. Sparks flew. He had fled again (open shunshema!) this country of exile, sloughed off, sidleshomedº via his old nordestº subterranean tunnelº shored with bedboards, stowed away and ankered in a dutch bottom,º tunkº the Arsa, hodº S.S. Finlandia, and was even now, under an islamitic newname,º occupying, in his seventh generation, a physical body, Cornelius Magrath's,º in Asia Major,º where as Turk of the theatreº (theº first house all flatty: the kingº, elevenº sharps) he had bepiastered the buikdanseusesº from the opulence of his omnibox while as Arabº at the streetdoorº he hadº bepestered the bumbashaws for the alms of a para's pence. Wires hummed. Peacefully general astonishment assisted by regrettitude had put a term till his existence: he saw the family saggarth, resigned himself,º put off his remainders, was recalled and scrapheaped by the Maker. Chirpings crossed. An infamous private ailment (vulgovariovenerealº) had claimed endright, closed his vicious circle, snap. Jams jarred. He had walked towards the middle of an ornamental lilypond when innebriated up to the point where braced shirts meet knickerbockers, as wangfish daring the buoyant waters, when rodmen's firstaiding hands had rescued un from very possibly several feetº of demifrish water. Mush spread. On Umbrella Street, where he did drinks from a pumps,º a kind workman, Mr Whitlock, gave him a piece of hisº wood. What words of power were made fas between them, ekenames and auchnomes, acnomina ecnumina, that,º O that, did Hansard tell us, would gar ganz Dub's ear wag in every pub of all the citta! Batty believes a baton while Hogan hears a hod yet Peerº prefers a punsil shapner and Cope and Bull go cup and ball. And the Cassidy-Craddockº rome and reme round e'er a wiege ne'er a waage is still immer and immor awagering over it,º a cradle with a care in it or a casket with a kick behind. Toties testies quoties questies. The war is in words and the wood is the world. Maply me, willowy we, hickory he and yew yourselves. Howforhim chirrupeth evereachbird! From golddawn glory to glowworm gleam. We were low quacksº did we not tacit turn. Elsewere there here no concern of the Guinnesses.º Cracklings crickledº. A human pest cycling (pist!) and recycling (past!) about the sledgy streets of the gardencity,º here he was (pust!) again! He was loose at large and (Oº baby!) might be anywhere, but only the ruining of the rain has heardº.º Morse nuisance noisedº when a disguised exnunº of huge standbuild and masculine manners in her fairly fat forties, Carpulenta Gygasta, hattracted hattention by harbitrary conduct with a hominibuzzº. Aerials bizzedº to coastal listeners of an oertax collector'sº budget, fullybigs, sporran, tie, tuft, tabard and bloody antichill
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cloak, its tailor's (Baernfather's) tab reading V.P.H.,º found nigh Scaldbrothar's Hole,º and divers shivered to think what kaind of beast, wolves, croppiesº or fourpenny friarsº had devoured him. C.W. cast wide. Hvidfinns lyk, drohneth svertgleam, Valkir lockt. On his pinksir's postern, the boys had it, at Whitweekend had been nailed an inkedupº name and title, inscribed in the national cursives, accelerated, regressive, filiform, turreted, and envemoloped in piggotry: Move up,º Mumpty! Mike room for Rumpty! By order, Nickellous Plugg! Andº this go, no pentecostal jest about it, how gregarious his race soever or skilful learned wise cunning knowledgable clear profound his saying fortitudofraughtº or prudentiaproven, were he chief, count, general, fieldmarshal, prince, king or Myles the Slasher in his person, with a moliamordhar mansion in the Breffnian empire and a place of inauguration on the hill of Tullymongan, there had been real murder ofº the ragheallachº royghal raxacraxian variety: theº MacMahon chaps, it was, that had done him in. On the field of Verdor the rampantº combatants had left him lion with his dexter handcoup wresterected in a puree deº paumee bloody proper. Indeed not a few thick and thin wellwishers, mostly of the clontarfminded classº (Colonel John Bawle O'Roarke, feroxamplusº), even ventured so far as to loan or beg copies of D. Blayny'sº trilingual triweekly,º Scatterbrains' Aftening Posht,º so as to make certain sure onetime and be satisfied of their quasicontribusodalitarian's having become genuinely quite beetly dead whether by land whither by water. Transocean atalaclamoured him:º The latter! The latter! Shall their hope then be silent or Macfarlane lack of lamentation? He lay under leagues of it in deep Bartholomew'sº Deep.

Achdung! Pozor! Attenshune! Vikeroy Besights Smucky Yung Pigeschoolies. Tri Paisdinernes Eventyr Med Lochlanner Fathach I Fionnuisgehavenº. Bannalanna Bangs Ballyhooly Out Of Her Buddaree Of A Bullavogue.

But, their bright little contemporaries notwithstanding, brave news world come to town of howº on the morrowing morn of the suicidal murder of the unrescued expatriate, aslike as asnake comes sliduant down that oaktree onto the duke of beavers (youº may have seen some liquidamber exude exotic from a balsam poplar at Parteen-a-lax, Limestone Road,º and cried:º Abies Magnifica! not, noble fir?),º a quarter of nine, imploring his resipiency, saw the infallible spike of smokeº jutstiff punctualº from the seventh gable of our Quintus Centimachus' porphyroid buttertower and tenº thirsty p.m.,º with oaths upon his lastingness (estout pourporteral!)º, theº lamps of maintenance, beaconsfarafield,º innerhalbº the zigguratº, all brevetnamed, the wasting wyvern, the tawny of his mane, the swinglowswaying bluepaw brorsº, the outstanding man, the lolllike lady, being litten for the long (O
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laud,º how long!) lifesnight, aº suffusion of fineglass transom and leadlight panes. En caecos harauspices! Annos longos patimur!º

Wherefore let it hardly by any being thinking be said either or thought that the prisoner of that sacred edifice, were he an Ivor the Boneless or an Olaf the Hvideº, was at his best a onestone parable, a rude breathing on the void of to be,º a venter hearing his own bauchspeech in backwords, or, more strictly, but tristurned initials, the cluekey to a worldroomº beyond the roomwhorld;º for scarce one, or pathetically few,º of his dodecanalº sammenlivers cared seriously or for long to doubt with Kurt Fuldº van Dijke (the gravitational pull perceived by certain fixed residents and the capture of uncertain comets chancedrifting through our system suggesting an authenticitatem of his aliquitudinis) the canonicity of his existence as a tesseract.º

Dispersal women wondered. Was she fast?

Do tell us allaboutº. As we want to hear allabout. So tellus tellas allabouter. Finickin here and funickin there.º Orº whether she looked alottylike. Like ussies. Andº whether the whyº he hadº his windup. Like themses. Shut?º Notes and queries, tipbids and answers, the laugh and the shout, the ards and downs.

Nowº listenº to one aneither and liss them down and smoothen out your leaves of rose. The war is o'er. Wimwim wimwim! Was it Unity Moore or Estella Swifte or Varina Fay or Quarta Quaedam? Toemaas, mark oom for yor ounckel! Pigeys, hold op med yer leg! Who, but who (for second time of asking),º was then the scourge of the parts about folkrich Lucalizod,º it was wont to be asked, as, in ages behind of the Homo Capite Erectus, what price Peabody's money, or, to put it bluntly, whence is the herrington'sº white cravat, as, in epochs more cainozoic, who struck Buckley,º though nowadays as thentimes every schoolfilly of sevenscore moons or more who knowsº her intimologies and every colleen bawl aroof and every redflammelwaving warwife and widowpeace upon Dublin Wall for ever knows as yayas is yayas how it was Buckleyself (we need no blooding paper to tell it neither) who struck and the Russian generals (da! da!)º instead of Buckley who was caddishly struck by him when byº herselves. What fullpried paulpoison in the spy of three castles or which hatefilled smileyseller? And that such a vetriol of vinomº, that queen's head affranchisant, a quiet stinkingplaster zeal could cover, prepostered or postpaid! The loungelizards of the pumproomº had their nine days' jeer andº pratschkats at their platschpails too and holenpolendom beside, Szpaszpas Szpissmas, the zhanyzhonies, when, still believing in her owenglass when izarres were twinklinsº that the upper reaches of her mouthless face and her impermanent waves were the better half of her, one nearer him, dearer than all, first
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warming creature of his early morn, bondwoman of the man of the houseº and murrmurr of all the mackavicks, she who had given his eye for her bed and a tooth for a child till one one and one ten and one hundred again, O me and O ye,º cadet and prim, the hungray endº anngreen (and if she is older now than her teeth she has hair that is younger than thighne, my dear!), sheº who shuttered him after his fall and waked him widowt sparing and gave him keen and made him able and held adazillahs to each arche of his noes, she who will not rast her from her running to seek him till, withº the kelpº of the Okeanicº, some such timesº that she shall have been after hiding theº crumbends of his enormousness in the areyouº lookingfor Pearlfar sea (ur, uri, uria!), stoodº forth, buruzburn the gorygoryº old danworld, in gogor's name, for gagar's sake, dragging the countryside in her train,º with her louisequean's brogues and her culunder buzzle and her little bolero,º boa and all,º and two times twentyº curlicormsº for her hairdressº, specks on her eyeuxº and spudds inº horeilles and a circusfix riding her Parisianne'sº cockneze, a vaunt her straddle from Equerry Egon, when Tinktink in the churchclose clinked Steploajazzyma Sunday, solaº, with pawns,º prelates and pookas pelotting in her piecebag forº Handiman the Chomp, Esquoro, biskbask, to crush the slander's head.

Wery weeny wight, plead for Morandmor! Notre Dame de la Villeº, mercy of thy balmheartsyheatº! Ogrowdnyk's beyond herbata tay, wort of the drogist. Bulk him no bulkis. Be still, O quick! Speak him,º dumb! Hush,º ye fronds of Ulma! Stimm unto stein!º And let him rest, thou wayfarerº, and take no gravespoil from him!º Neither mar his mound!º The bane of Tut is on it. Ware! But there's a little lady waiting and her name is A.L.P. And you'll agree. She must be she. For her holden heirheaps hanging down her back. He spenth his strenth amok haremscarems:º Poppy,º Narancy, Giallia, Chlora, Marinka, Anileen,º Parme. And ilk a those dames had her rainbow huemouresº yet for whilk oº her whims but he coined a cure. Tifftiff togay,º kissykissy tonay and agelong pine tomauranna. Then who but Crippled-with-Children would speak up for Dropping-with-Sweat?

Sold him her lease of ninenineninetee,º
Tresses undresses so dyedyedaintee,º
Goo,º the groot gudgeon,º gulphedº it all.
Hoo was the C.O.D.?º


At Islandº Bridge she met her tide.º
Attabom, attabom,º attabombomboom!
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The Fin had a flux and his Ebba a ride.º
Attabom, attabom,º attabombomboom!
We're all up to the years in hues and cribies.
That's what she's done for wee!º


Nomad may roam with Nabuch but let naaman laugh at Jordanº! For we, we have taken our sheet upon her stones where we have hanged our hearts in her trees; and we list, as she bibs us, by the waters of babalong.