I.6§4 (FW 159.24 - 168)

As I have now successfully explained to you my own naturalborn rations which are even in excise of my brainvault vaultybrain insure me that I am a mouth's more deserving case ^|3by genius^3|. ^|3'I'm Armory, so herald me, but he's merely the size of his shirt. The Jonases were juanisersº in Lyoness before the first Schmied started to forge. For see my stitchwork! A boche beuglantº in a field flam. Motto: Twist im ann insulte! Mookse makes for Muth and his Muth makes for Mastery ^|abut wile^a| Gripes yieldsº to Guile but his Guile'llº yield the faster he is Faced in Front and Forced to acknowledge that the Roarer Rules the Knaves Leonidas!
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^|5⇒^5| Mookse,º Mookse, Mookse! I could face a phalanx philistine!

^|5⇒^5| And Gripes, Gripes, Gripes!º I could chor em wiv zis jor of mine!º
^|5⇒^5| For I feel like Jamsen Samsen,º Hamsen and Yan Yammesen. But nevertheleastº alsoº^3'| I feel in symbathos for my ever devoted friend and halfaloafonwashedº brother^|5|+, Gnaccus Gnoccovitch.º^{+|5| |+5}(darling Darling^{+|5| |3'}gem germº^3'|! ^|+5darling Darling^{+|5| |2}blank) ^|3blank) smallfox!º^{3| |5|+}Horoseshoew!º^+|5| I ^|v3could^v3| love that ^|3man!) ^|+5man! man ^|alike my own ambo ^|~for being so ^|7ballyclever baileycliaver^7|~|a| though he's ^|~an awful a nawful^~| cyrillassº and ^|~I'm methodiust myself! I must slav to methodiousness.^{~| |~}He prefares my wafer one. He parates myas vias. A rightyouare rotemeeker, that's what he is!^~|+|5|) I want him to go and live ^|5like a theb theabild ^|+|~in charge of the night brigade^~|+|5| on Tristan da Cunha^|5|+, isle of manoverboard,º^+|5| where he'll make Number 106 and be near Inaccessible.^3|2|

^|7⇒ (Theº meeting of mahoganies, be the waves, rementionsº me that this exposed sight, though it pines for an umbrella of its own and needs a shelter belt of the true service sort to keep its
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boles clean, —º the weeping beeches^|a, Picea and Tillia,^a| are in a wild state about it — ought to be classified, as Cricketbutt Willowm and his two nurserymen advisers suggested, under genus Inexhaustibleº when we refloat upon all the butternutº, sweet gum and manna ash ^|aredcedera^a| which is so purvulent there as if there was howthorns in ^|aCurraghcasha Curraghchasa^a| which ought to look as plane as a lodgepole to anybody until we are introduced to that pinetacotta of Verney Rubensº where the deodarty is pinctured for us in a pure stand, which we do not doubt heº has a habitat of doing, but without those selfsown seedlingsº which are a species of proof that the largest ^|aindividuals individual^a| can occur at ^|aor in^a| an olivetion such as East Conna Hillock where it mixes with ⁽⁺false foolth⁺⁾ accacians and common sallies and is tender.º Vux populusº, as we say in hickoryhockery,º and I wish we had some more glasses of arbor vitae. Why rootº by the roadside or awn over alum pot? Alderman Whitebeamº is oaky-o.)º^7|

^|7⇒^{7| |5}Heº ought to go away for a change of ideas. Andº he'd have ^|s+something then a world of things^s+| to look back on. ^|+«++(do, sweet Daniel!) Do, sweet Dani sweetdan sweet Daniel!^{s++|+|5| |3}If I weren't a jones in myself I'd elect myself to be his dolphin in the ⁽⁺⁵wildsbillow) wildsbillow^+)5|3| because he is such a barefooted rubber with my supersocks pulled over his face which I publicked in my bestback garden ^|3|afor the laetification of siderodromites and^a| to the irony of the stars^3|. ^|2And he wants my addition of meal, meat, bread, butter, ^|a(3also³⁾ dripping,^a| eggs, tea and cabbage with a doorstep! I oughtº not to indulge on this stage still I will think he is so veryº allirish!º^2| You will say it is most unenglish and I shall hope to hear that you will not be wrong about it. But ^|2I furtherº ^|3blank, feeling a bit husky in my truths …º^3|2|

Will you please come over and let us mooremoore murgessly to one's each's other down below our ^|3voices vices^3|. iº am beingº underheerd by old billfaust. wilshº is full of curks. theº coolskittle is philip deblinite. mrº wistº is ^|athereover^a| beyeind the wantnot. wilshº and wist are as thick of thins udder as faust on
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the deblinite. ^|6Sgunoshooto estas preter la tapizo malgranda. Li legasº al si en sia chambro. Kelkefoje funcktas, kelkefoje srumpas shultrojº. Houdiau kielº vi fartas, mia nigra sinjoro?^6| And from the poin poignt of fun where I am crying to arrive you at they are on all foreº as foibleminded as you can feel they are fablebodied.

My heeders will ^|3recall recoil^3| with ^|1greatº^1| leisure how at the outs outbreak before trespassing on the space question where even
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michelangelines have fooled to dread I proved to mindself as to your sotisfictionº how his abject all through (the quickquid of Professor Ciondoloni'sº too frequently hypothecated Bettlermensch) is nothing so much more than a mere cashdime,º however genteelº he may want ours, if we please (I am speaking to us in the second person),º to feel about it,º for to this graded ^|1intellecktuals intellacktualsº^1| dime is cash and the cash system (you must not be allowed to forget that this is all contained, I mean the system, in the dogmarks of origen on spurios) means that I cannot now have or nothave a piece of cheeps in your pocket at the same time and with the same manners asº you can now nothalf or half the cheek apiece I've in mind unless Burrus and Caseous have not or not have simult seemaultaneously sysentangled themselves, selldear to soldthere, once in the dear dairy days of buy and buy.

Burrus, let us like to imagine, is a genuine prime, the real choiceº, full of natural greace, the mildest of milkstoffs yet unbeaten as a risicide and, of course, obsoletely unadulterous,º whereat Caseous is obversely the revise of him and in fact not an ideal choose by any meals, though the betterman of the two is meltingly addicted to the more casual side of the arrivalist'sº case and, let me say it at once, as zealous over him as is passably he.

^|3⇒ Theº seemsame home and histry seeks and hidepence which we used to be reading for our prepurgatory (hot, Schott?)º ^|atill Duddy shut the shopper op and Mutty Mutti (poor Mutti!)º brought us our poor suppyº^a| (ah who! eh how!!)º in Acetius and Oleosus and Sellius ^|aVolatilis^a| and Petrus Papricus! ^|aOur old Old Party quite united round the Slatbowel at Commons: Pfarrer Salamoss himself and that sprog of a Pedersill and his Sprig of Thyme and a dozen of the murphybirds Murphybuds and a score and more of the hot young Capels and Lettucia in her greensleeves and you too and me three, twinsome bibs but hansome ates, like shakespill ^|bon and^b| eggs! But there's many a split pretext bowl and jowl; and (snob screwing that cork, Schott!) to understand this as well as you can^|b, feeling how backward you are in your ^|chard down-to-the-ground^c| benches,^b| I have completed the following arrangement for the ^|bcoarse^b| use of stools.º^a|3|
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^|5⇒ Cheese it.º^5|

^|5⇒^5| The older ^|+5Kaeser sisars^+| (tyrants,º regicide is too good for you ^|aand if I ^|bmay don't^b| make away with you ^|s+I'll be I'm^{s+| |b}caesared or nullused beyond Caesar outnullused^b|a|!)^5|, becomeº unbeurrable from
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age ^|6(the compositor of the ^|shfarce of dustiny^sh| however makes a thumpledrumº mistake by letting off this ^|shpienofarte^sh| effect as his furst act as that is where the juke comes in)^6|, havingº been sort-of-nineknived and chewly removed ^|6(^|shthis soldier-author-batmanº ^|afor all his commontoryism^a| is just another of those souftsiezed bubbles who never quite got the sandhurst out of his eyes so that the champaign he draws for us is as flop as a plankrieg^sh|)^6| theº twinfreer types are billed to make their reupprearanceº ^|6as the knew ^|shkneck and knife^sh| knickknots^6| on the deserted champ de bouteilles.

^|7⇒ (The Aº most cursery reading into the Persic-Uraliens hostery shows us how Fonnumagogulaº picked up that propper numen out of a colluction of prifixes,º though to the permienting cannasure the Coucousien oafsprung of this sun of a kuk is as sattin as there's a tub in Tobolosk.º Ostiak della Vogul Marina! ^|aBut that I dannoy the fact of wanton to weste point^a|7| I could paint you to that butter ifº you had some wash. ^|7Mordvealive!º Onº me none onsens! Why the case is as inessive and impossive as kezom hands! Their interlocative is conprovocative just as every hazzy hates to having a hazbane in her hozeº.^7|

^|7⇒^7| Caseousº may he think hethinkº himself a thought of a caviller but Burrus has the reachly roundered head that goes best with thoftthinkingº ^|3defensive^3| fideism.º He has the lac of wisdom in under every dent in his ^|3smile lofter^3|., while the other follow's ^|7blank onni vesy milky indeedmumº^7|. ^|7Laughing ^|aofter over^a| the linnuts and weeping off the uniun. He hisn't the hey and ^|aso og^a| he lisn't the lug, poohoo!º And each night ^|ahe sim^a| misses mand he winks he had the semagen.^7| It was aptly and corrigidly stated (andº it is royally needless for one ^|1—º ex ungue Leonem —º^1| to say by whom) that his seeingscraft was that clarety as were the wholeborough of Saintº Poutresbourg to be averlaunched over him pitchbatch he could still make out with his augstritchº the green moat in Ireland's Eye. Let me sell you the ^|3fulltruth fulltroth^3| of Burrus when he wore a younker. Here it is, and churmingº too, in six by sevens! A cleanly line, a by the gods! A kingº off duty and a jaw for ever! ^|2What brunoesque pr poportiums, me Ercles!º^2| And what a cheery ripe outlook, good help me Deus v Deus!º If I were to speak
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my wholeº mouthful to aryman arimanº about it you should call me the ^|errOrmuzd ormuzdº^{err| |1}aliment^1| in your midst of faime. Eat ye up, heat ye up! sings the somun in the salm. Butyrum et mel comedet ut sciat reprobareº malum et eligere bonum. Thisº, of course, also explains why we ^|1are were^1| taught to play in the childhood: Der Haensli ist ein Butterbrot,º fein Butterbrot,º mein Butterbrot! Und Koebi iss dein Schtinkenkot! Ja! Ja! Ja!

This,º in fact, just to show you, is Caseous, the ^|1brotherscutch brutherscutch^1| or puir tyron: a hole or two, the highstinkº aforefelt and anygoº prigging wurms. ^|1Cheese! Cheesugh!^1| you complain. And Hi Hi High must say you are not Ho Ho wHolly Hoa Hoa Hoally in the wrong!
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While I am not out now to be taken up as unintentionally recommending the Silkebjorg turondunamon machine as the most econ Thus we cannot escape our likes and mislikes, exiles or ambusheers, beggar and neighbour, and soº — this is where the dimeshow advertisers advance the temporal relief plea — let us be tolerant of antipathies. Nex quovis burro num fitº mercaseus?º I am not hereby giving my final endorsement to the learned ^|1ignorance ignorants^1| of the Cusanus philosophism in which old Nicholas pegs it down that the smarter the spin of the top the sounder the span of the buttom. (Whatº the worthy old auberginiste ought to have meant was: the more stolidly a immobileº in space appears to me the bottom which is presented to ^|1us use^1| in timeº by the top primomobilisk e &c.)º And I shall be misunderstood if understood to give an unconditional ^|3'sinequam sinequamnunc^3'| toº the heroicised furibouts of of the Nolanus theory, or, at any rate, of that substrateº of a part apart from hissheory where the Theophileº swoors ^|3'by his Father Familiaritas and his Mother Contumelia and by the soul in his suit and the animus in his soul and the mind in his animus and the good in his mindº^3'| that on principial he was the pointingstartº of his odiose by comparison and that whiles eggs will ^|1be fall^1| cheapened all over the walled the bure Bure will be dear on the Brie.

Now, while I am not out now to be taken up as unintentionally recommending the Silkebjorgº ^|9turondunamon tyrondynamon^9| machineº for the more econo enocomicalº helixtrolysis of these amboadipates until I can find space to look into it myself a little more closely first,º I shall go on with my decisions after having shown to you in good time how both these products of our social stomach ^|6(the excellent Dr Burroman, I noticed by the way, ^|ain from^a| his princeps emended food theory,º has been carefully digesting the very wholesome criticism
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I gave helped him to in my ^|shprinceps edition^sh| which is all so munch to the cud)^6| are mutuearly polarised^|5, the incompletudeº of any delusional acting as ambivalent to the fixation of his pivotism^5|. Positing^|1, as above,^1| tooº maleº pooles, the one the pictor of the other and the other omber the σκοτιαº of the one, and looking wantingly around our undistributed middle between males,º we feel we must waistfully woent a female to focus and ^|1at this point on this stage^1| there pleasantly appears the cowry cowrymaid ^|3Mº^3| (whom we shall often meet below)º who introduces herself upon us at some precise hour which we shall again agree to call absolute zero or the ^|6bubblingpoint babbling pumptº^6| of platinism. And so like that former son of a kishº who went ^|1up and^1| out to found 's his farmer's ashesº we come ^|1down^1| home gently on our ^|3own^{3| |1}turnedaboutº^1| asses to meet Margareen.

We now romp through a period of pure lyricism of shamebred music ^|6(technologically, let me say, the appetising ^|shentry of this subject^sh| on a ⁽⁺full fool^{+) |sh}chest of vialds^sh| is plumply pudding the carp before doevre hors)^6| evidenced by such words in distress as I cream for thee,º sweetº Margareen!º and the more hopeful O Margareena! O Margareena!º Stillº in the bowl is left a lump of gold! ^|6(Correspondents, by the way, ^|awill^a| keep on asking me what is the correct
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garnish to serve ^|shdrisheens with. Tansy sauceº.^sh| Enough.)º^6| The pawnbreaking pathos of the first of the these shoddy pieces reveals it as a Caseous effort. Burrus's bit is often used for a toast. ^|6Criniculture can tell us very precisely indeed how and why this particular streak of yellow silver first appeared on (not in) the bowlº, that is to see, the human head, bald, black, bronze, brown, brindled, betteraved or blanchemanged,º where it might be usu usefully compared with an earwig on a fullbottom. I am offering this to Signorina Cuticura and I intend to take it up and bring it under the nosetice of Herr Harlene by way of diverting his attentions.^6| Of course,º the unskilled singer continues to pervert ourº wiser ears by subordinating the space-element, that is to sing, the aria, to the time-factor, which ought to be killed, ^|3illtempor ill tempor^3|. I should advise any unborn singer who may still be among my heeders to forget her temporalº diaphragm at home
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(the best thing that could happen to it!) and attack the roulade with a swift colpo di glottide to the lug (though Maace I will insist was reclined from overdoing this, his recovery often being slow) and then ^|1O!^1| on the third dead beatº O! to cluse her eyes and awpenº her oath and see what spice I may ^|2it will^2| sendº her.

^|5How?º Cease thee, cantatrickee! ^|+I fain would be solo. Arouse thee, my valour! And save for e'er my true Bdur!^+|5|

I shall have a word to say in a few yards about the acoustic and orchidectural management of the tonehall but^|7, as ours is a vivarious where one plant's breaf is a lunger planner's byscent, and you may not care for theº argon,^7| it will be very convenient for me for the emolument to pursue Burrus and Caseous for a rung or two up their isocelating biangle. Every admirer ^|2of my “blank manner”º^2| has seen ^|2with eyes wateredº^2| my goulache of Marge ^|6(she is so like the sister, you don't know, and they both dress A L I K E !)^6| which I titled The Very Picture of a Needlesswomanº ^|5|+and whichº in the presence ornates our national cruetstand^+|5|. ^|8Thisº genre of portraiture of changes of mind in order to be truly torse should evoke the bush soul of theº females so I am leaving it to the experienced victim to complete the general suggestion by the mental addition of a wallopy bound or, should ^|ahe the zulugical zealot^a| prefer it, a congorool teal.º^8| The hatboxes which composeº ^|2Rhomba, Ladyº Trabezond (Marge in ^|aher^a| excelsis),º also compriseº^2| the climactogram up which B and C may ^|2well fondlyº^2| be imagined ascending ^|3and^3| are suggestive of gentlemen's spring modes, these modes carrying us back to the superimposed ^|alayers claylayers^a| of eocene and pleastoseen formation and the gradual morphological changes in our body politic which Professor Ebahi-Ahuri of Philadespoinis (Ill) — whose bluebutterbust I have just given his coupe de grass to ^|3—^3| neatly names a boîte à surprises. The boxes, if I may break the subject gently, are worth about fourpence pourbox but I am inventing a
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more patent process^|6, foolproof and pryperfect (I should like to ask that Shedlock Homes person who is out for removing the roofs of our criminal classics by what deductio ad domunum he hopes de tacto to detect anything unless he happens of himself, movibile tectu, to have ^|sha slade off^sh|),º^6| after which they can be reduced to a fragment of their
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true crust by even the youngest of Margees,º if she will ^|aplease ^|btake^b| plase^a| to be seated and smile, if I please.

Now there can be no question about it either that I,º having done as much, have quite got the size of that ^|5demilitery^5| young ^|~5woman female^~| (we will continue to call her Marge)^5| whose ^|atype types^a| may be met with in any public garden^|5, wearingº a very “dressy” affair,º known as an “ethel”,º of instep length and as she is not yet and with a real fur^|~, reduced to 3/9,^~| and muffin cap ^|a(they are ^|~“angel-skin” “angelskin”^~| this fall)^a| to tone,º^5| ostentatiously hemming gently apologetically over the ^|5briefness shirtness^5| of some “sweet”º garment^|5, whenº she is not sitting on all the free benches avidously reading about “it” but ovidently on the lookoutº for “him” or so “thrilled” about the best dressed dolly pram and beautiful elbow competition^5| or at the movies swallowing sobs and ^|1blowing^1| bixed ^|9bixcuits mixcuits^9| over the ^|2childish “Childe”º^2| chaplain's “latest” or on the verge of the gutter with some bobbedhair ^|5short brieffrocked^5| babyma's ^|5infant ^|+blank toddler^+| (the Smythe-Smythes now keep TWOº domestics and aspire to THREEº male ones, a “shover”, a “butlegger” and a “sectary”º)^5| held hostage at armslength, teaching His ^|5Infant^5| Majesty how to make waters worse.

^|3Iº am closely watching Master Pules, as I have regions to suspect ^|afrom my post^a| that her “little man”º is a secondary schoolteacher under the boards of education, a voted disciple ^|aof^a| Infantulus,º who is being utilised thus publicly by the seducente infanta to conceal her own more mascular personality ^|5by flaunting ^|afeminine frivolish^a| finery over men's inside clothes^5|. ^|5Forº the femininny of that totamulier will always lack the ^|~masculink of verumvir musculink of a verumvirum^~|.^5| My ^|asolutions solotions^a| for the proper parturience of matres and the education of micturious mites must stand over from the moment till I tackle this tickler hussy ^|afor occupying my uttentions^a|.º^3|

Margareena she's very fond of Burrus but (alick and alack!)º she's sheº velly fond of chee.º (The important influence The im exercised on everything by this eastasianº import has not been till now fully flavoured,º though we can comfortably taste it in this case. I shall come back for a little more say farther on.)º A cleopatrician in her own right,º she at once complicates the position, while Burrus and Caseous are contending for her misstery,º by implicating herself
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with an elusive ^|9antonius Antonius^9||3, a wop^3| who would appear to hug a personal interest in refined chees of all chades at the same time as he wags an antomine art of being rude like the boor. This Antonius-Burrus-Caseous grouptriad may be said to equate the qualis equivalent with the older socalled talis on
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talis one ^|5just as quaintlyº as ^|a|~just as by in the metaphysical hyperchemical^~| economantarchy^a| the tantum ergons irruminate the quantum urge^{5| |6}so that eggs is to whey as whay is to zeed like your golfchild's abe boob caddy^6|. ^|7|x(And, taking off sourstuffsº and alkalike matters, I hope we can kill time to reach the salt because there's some forceglass neutric assets bittering in the soldpewter for you to plump your pottage in.)º^x|7| And this is why any simple ^|5strawbelliedº ^|~philadolphus of a^~|5| fool you like to dress^|5, ^|~Phil Adolphus,^{~| |a}an athemiste athemisthued lowtownian exleggest phratrisightº ^|~and, in our homosoup_unread unread^~|,^a|5| may be awfully green to one side of him and fruitfully blue on the other,º which will not screen him however from appealing to my ^|3gropesarching^3| eyes^|5, through the strongholes of my acropoll,º^5| as a boosted blasted bleating blatant bloaten blasphorus blesphorous idiot ^|5who kennatº tail a bomb from a painapple when he steals one and wonnotº psing his psalmonº with the cong ^|aforº gregational purposesº^{a| |~}in with the^~| canting crew^5|!º

No! ^|5Topsman,º to your Tarpeia! This thing^|7, Minsterº Abbey Abby,^7| is nefand.^{5| |7}The thundering legion has stormed Olymp that it end.^7| Twelve tabular times till now have I ^|5said edicted^5| it. ^|3Merus Genius to Careous Caseous! Moriture,º te salutat!^{3| |5}My ^|aphemous^a| themis'º race is run, so let Demoncracyº take the highmost!º ^|6(^|shAbraham Tripier^sh|. Those old ^|shdiligences^sh| are quite out of date. Read next answer.)º^6| I'll nowº beat you ^|~solon so lon^~|.^{5| |6}(^|shBigtempered^sh|. Why not ^|sh|atry take^a| direct action^sh|?º See previous reply.)º^6| My unchanging Word is sacred. The Wordº is my Wife^|5, toº exspouseº and expound, to vend and to ^|avulnerate velnerate^a|,º^5| and may the curlews crown our nuptias! ^|1Till Breath us depart! ^|5Wamen.^5| Beware would you change with my years!º ^|aYou are Be^a| as young as your grandmother!^1| The ring man in the rong shop but the rite words by the ^|1right rote^1| order! Ubi lingua nuncupassit,º ibi fas! Adversus hostemº semper sac! She that will not feel my fulmoon let her peel to thee as the hoyden and the impudent! That mon that hoth no moses in his sole nor is not awed by conquists
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of word's law, who never with humself was fed and leaves his soil to lave his head, when his ^|1heart's hope's^1| in his highlows from whisking his woe, if he came to my preach, a proud pursebroken ranger, when the heavens were welling the spite of their spout, to beg for a bite in our bark Noisdanger, would meself and ⁽⁴MacJeffet Jaffe Jeffetº⁴⁾, four-in-hand,º foot him out? — ay! — were he my own breastbrother, ^|3my doubled widthº love and my singlebiassed hate,^3| were we bread by the same fire and signed ^|3by with^3| the same salt, had we ^|3sold tapped from^3| the same master and robbed ^|3ofº^3| the same till, did were we tucked in the one bed and bit by the one flea, ^|5homogallant ^|~& and^~| hemycapnoise, ^|abum ^|~& and^~| dingo,^{a| |~}jack by churl,^~|5| though it broke my heart to pray it, still I'd fear I'd hate to say …!º

C 12.º Sacer esto?

answer:º Semus sumus!