Shem is as short for Shemus as ^|3Jim Jem^3| is joky for Jacob. A few toughnecks are still getatable who pretend that aboriginally he was of respectable ^|s5connections stemming^s5| (^|7he was an outlex between the lines of Ragonar Blaubarb and Horrild Hairwire,º and^{7| |3}blank an inlaw ^|aof blank to ^|10Capt. the Hon. and Rev.^10| Mr ^|bBirdwood ^|cByrdwood Bbyrdwood^c|b| de Trop Blogggº^a|3| was among his ^|3most^{3| |2}distant^{2| |3}cousins connections^3|) but every honest to goodness man in the land ^|8of the space^8| of today knows that his back life will not stand being written about in black and white. Putting truth and untruth together a shot may be made at what this hybrid actually ^|3looked like was like to look at^3|.

^|9⇒^9| Shem's bodily getup, it seems, included:º ^|3an adze of a skull,^3| an eighthº of ^|7an eye a ^|alark's eye larkseye^a|7|, the wholeº of a nose, one ^|3arm ⁽⁶all false arm ^|7arm in numbar numb arm up^7| a sleeve^6)3|, fortytwo hairs off his ^|5crown uncrown^5|, eighteen to his mock lip, a ⁽⁶quintet trio of barbels⁶⁾ from his ⁽⁶megageg⁶⁾ chin ^|9(some ^|asalmone's sowman's^a| son!)º^9|, the wrong shoulder higher than the right, all ears, ^|7an artificial tongue with a natural curl,^7| not a foot to stand on, a handful of thumbs, ^|2a blind stomach, a deaf heart, a loose liver,^2| two fifths of two buttocks, ⁽⁶a stone and a half one ^|13glad stone gleetsteen^{13| |7}too many avoirdupoider for him^7|6)|3, a ^|aroot manroot^a| of all evil^|a, a salmonkelt's thinskin, eelsblood in his cold toes, a bladder t ^|13Tristended tristended^13|a|3| —º so much so that young Master Shemmy ^|9|aat on^a| his very first debouch^9| at the ^|9very ^|~proto very^~|9| dawn of ^|8history ^|~9prehistory protohistory^~|9|8| seeing himself such and such, when playing with ^|7words thistlewords^7| in ^|7his their^7| nursery gardenº, ^|8Griefotrofioº,^{8| |7}at Phig Streat 111,^{7| |8}Shuvlin, Old Hoeland ^|a(would we go back there now for sounds, pillings and
{f39, 170}
sense? would we now for annas and annas? ^|~would ^|13Would wouldº^13|~| we for fullscore eight and a liretta? for twelve blocks one bob? for four testers one groat? f not for a dinar!º not for jo!)^a|,º^{8| |10}asked of dictited toº^10| all his little brethern ^|4brethren brothron^4| and ^|4sisters sweestureens^4| the first riddle of the universe: ^|10asking,^10| Whenº is a man not a man?º ^|4telling them take their time^|7, yungfries,^7| and wait till the tide stops (for from the first his day was a fortnight) and^4| offering ^|3a the^3| prize of a ^|3juicy bittersweet^3| crab^|9, a little ^|~previous from the first present from the past^{~| |x}(for their copper age was asº yet unminted)^x|,º^9| to the winner. One said when the heavens are ^|4rocking quakers^4|, a second said when ^|4other Bohemeand^4| lips, a third said when ^|2he, no, when,º hold ^|4on a second hard a jiffy^4|, when^{2| |4}the fair land of Poland he is a gnawstick
{f10, 135}
and detarmined to^4|, the next one said when the angel of death kicks the bucket of life, still another said when the ^|4wine is in ^|awife is wine ^|8wine is wife wine's at witsends^8|a|4|, and still another when lovely ^|4woman wooman^4| stoops to ^|4conquer conk him^4|, one of the ^|10littlest littliest^10| said ^|2me, me, Sem,º^2| when ⁽⁴father pappa⁴⁾ papers ⁽⁶papered papared⁶⁾ the ⁽⁴parlour harbour⁴⁾, ^|10one of the ^|awittlest wittliestº^a| saidº when he yeat ye abblokooken and he zmear hezelf zo zhooken,^10| still one said when you are old ⁽⁴and I'm⁴⁾ grey ⁽⁴and fall⁴⁾ full ^|8of wi'º^8| sleep, and still another when ⁽⁴office hours at last are over wee deader walkner⁴⁾, and another when ⁽⁴I was a boy with never a hole in my heart he is just only after having being semisized⁴⁾, another when ⁽⁴yes yeaº⁴⁾ he ⁽⁴has hath⁴⁾ no mananas, and one when ⁽⁴dose⁴⁾ pigs ⁽⁴they⁴⁾ begin ⁽⁴to fly now that they will flies up intil the looft⁴⁾. All were wrong, so Shem himself^|10, ^|shthe doctator,^sh|10| took the cake, the correct solution being ^|3— all give it up? —^3|:º When he is aº ^|7— yours till the rending of the rocks —º^7| Shamº.

Shemº was a sham and a low sham and his lowness ^|4came creeped^4| out first ^|4in via^4| foodstuffs. So low was he that he preferred Gibsen's teatime salmon tinned to the, as inexpensive as pleasing, to the plumpest roeheavy lax or the friskiest ^|2parr or smolt^2| troutlet that ever was gaffed between Leixlip and Island Bridgeº and many was the time he repeated ^|3in his botulism^3| that no junglegrownº pineapple ever smacked like the whoppers you shook out of Ananias' cans^|10, Findlater and Gladstone's, Corner House, Englend^10|. None of your inchthick blueblooded ^|2Balaclava^{2| |7}beefsteaks fried-at-beliefstakesº^7| or juicejelly legs of ^|7the ^|afold's Grex's^a|7| molten mutton or greasily gristlyº grunters' ^|3feet goupons^3| or slice upon slab of luscious goosebosom with lump after load of plumpudding stuffing all aswim in a
{f39, 171}
swamp of ^|3bogoak gray bogoak gravyº^3| for ^|7him that ^|9greekenhearted^9| yude^7|! ^|9Rosbif of Old Zealand?º Heº could not ^|~attach attouch^~| it.^{9| |10}See what happens ^|shwhen your somatophage merman takes his fancy to our virgitarian swan^sh|?^10| He even ^|4went ⁽⁶seceded ran^6)4| away ⁽⁶by himself with ^|10himself, ^|13hunself, hunself^13|10|6) and became a ^|2soonerite farsoonerite^2|, saying he would ^|2far^2| sooner muddle ^|2with through^2| the hash of lentils in Irel Europe than ^|2play meddle^2| with ^|7Ireland's ^|13Irrland Irrland's^13|7| splitº little pea. Once when ^|10among those ^|shrebels^sh|10| in a state of hopelessly helpless intoxication ⁽⁶he the piscivore⁶⁾ strove to lift a ^|10citron czitround^10| peel to either nostril, hiccupping^|13,^13| apparently ^|3impromptu impromptued by ^|11the hibat he had with^11| his ^|4glottel glottal^4| stop^3|,º that he ^|11could live kukkakould flowrish^11| for ever by the smell, as the ^|10citr czitr^10|, as the ^|10cedron kcedron^10|, like a ^|10cedar scedar^10|, of the founts, on mountains, with lemonº on, of Lebanon. O,º the lowness of him was beneath all up to that sunk to! No ^|4likedbylike^4| firewater or firstserved firstshot or ^|13gutburn gulletburn^13| gin or honest ⁽⁶liberal unionist brewbarrett⁶⁾ beer either. O dear no! Instead ^|3he the tragic ^|4gester jester^4|3| sobbed himself ^|7wheywhingingly^7| sick of life on some sort of a ^|7wheywhinging^7| rhubarbarousº ^|7|amandarin maundarin^a|7| yellagreen ^|7funkleblue windigut diodying^7| applejack squeezed from sour ^|3grapes grapefruice^3| and, to hear him ^|3in twixt^3| his ^|3sentimentalising cups sedimental cupslips^3| when he had ^|7absorbed gulfed down mmmmuch^7| too ^|3much of a feast ^|7many mmmmany^7| gourds of it^3| retching off to hisº almost as low withswillersº, who always knew notwithstanding when they had ^|4had^4| enough and were rightly indignant at the wretch's hospitality when they
{f10, 136}
found to their horror they could not carry another drop, it came straight from the noble white fat, ^|10jo,^10| openwide sat, ^|10joº jo,^10| her why hide that, ^|10jo jo jo,^10| the winevat, of the most serene ^|10archduchess ^|amagyarstyº az^a| archdiochesse^{10| |3}(if she'sº a duck she's a douches, ^|10and when she has a feherbour^10| snot her fault, nowisit?)^3|,º ^|3artstouchups^|13,^{13|3| |3}fancy funny^3| you're grinning at, fancy you're in her yet, Fanny Urinia.

^|9⇒^{9| |3|a}Isn't Ain'tº^a| that swell, hey?^{3| |11}Peamengro!^11| Talk about lowness!º Any dog's quantity of it visibly oozed out thickly from this dirty little ^|3black blacking^3| beetle,º for the very ^|9first instant fourth ^|atime snap^a|9| the ^|4Kelly-Turnbull Tulloch-Turnbull^4| girl with her ^|11coldblood^11| kodak ^|7spotted shotted^7| the as yet ^|4unremunerated unremuneranded^4| national apostate, who was cowardly gun and camera shy, taking what he fondly thought was a short cut ^|3to ^|11Caer Fere,^{11| |7}Soak^{7| (6}Ameriga Amerigas⁶⁾,º ^|11vias the shipsteam Pridewin^|13,º^13|11|3| after having buried a ⁽⁶friend hatchet⁶⁾ not so long before,º by the wrong goods ^|3entrance exeunt^|11, nummer
{f39, 172}
desh taº tren,^11|3| into Patatapapaveri's, fruiterers and musical florists, ^|11with his ^|aCiao Ciaho,^a| chavi! Sar shin,º shillipen?,º^11| she knew ^|s+9he the vice ^|11out of bridewell^11|s+|9| was a bad fast man by his walk on the spot.

^|7[Johns is a different butcher's. Next ^|8time place^8| you are ^|8in up^8| town pay him a visit. ^|8Or better still, come tobuy.^{8| |a}You will enjoy cattlemen's spring meat.º ^|8Johns is now quite divorced from baking.^{8| |b}Fattens, kills, flays, hangs, draws, quarters and pieces.^b|a| Feel his lambs! ^|9Ex!^9| Feel how sheap! ^|9Exex!^9| His liver too is great value, ^|8aº spatiality!^{8| |9}Exexex!^9| COMMUNICATED.º]^7|

Around that time^|11, moravar,^11| one generally hoped^|11, for luvvomony,º^11| he or at any rate suspected ^|8among morticians that^8| he would ^|2early turn out badly,º^2| develop hereditary pulmonary T.B. ^|3andº do for himself one ^|7good dandy^7| time.^3| Nay,º ^|8one of a^8| pelting night blanketed ^|8folk creditors^8|, hearing a coarse song and splash off Eden Quay,º sighed and rolled over, sure all was up, but, though he fell heavily and locally into ^|8debt debit^8|, not even then could such an antinomian be true to type. ^|9He would not put fire to his cerebrum; he would not throw himself in Liffey; he would not explaud himself with ^|~pneumani_unread pneumantics^~|; he refused to saffrocake himself with a sod.^9| With the ^|5foreign^5| devil's leave the ^|8born fraidbornº^8| fraud ^|3cheated diddled^{3| |2}even^2| death. ^|8Anzi, cabled ^|10(but shaking the worth out of his maulth: Guardacosta leporello? Szasas Kraicz!)^10| from his ^|10Nearapoblican^10| asylum to his jonathan of for a brother: Here ^|10today, tokay,^10| gone ^|atomorrow, tomorry,º^{a| |10|a}We're we're^a| spluched,^10| do something, Fireless.º And had answer: Inconvenient, Davidº.^8|

^|9⇒^9| You see, ^|4chaps,^{4| |10}it will trickle out, freaksily of course, but the tom and the shorty of it ^|awas is^a|:^10| he was ^|10in his bardic memory^10| low. All the time he kept on treasuring with condign satisfaction each and every ^|4unkind word crumb of trektalk, covetous of his neighbour's word,^4| and if ever, during a ^|11munda Munda^11| conversazione ^|3commoted^3| in the nation's interest, delicate ^|11hints tippits^11| were thrown out to him ^|3about touching^{3| |2}it, his evil courses^2| by some wellwishers vainlyº pleading ^|3by scriptural arguments^3| with ^|2him the opprobrious papist ^|3about what aboutº trying^3|2|
{f10, 137}
to ^|2brace up ^|11for the kidos of the thing, Scally wag,^11| and^2| be a ^|3man men ^|a|binstead insteedº^b|a| of a dem scrounger, ^|13desh dish^13| it all^3|, such as: Pray, what is
{f39, 173}
the meaning^|7, sousy,^7| of that continental expression, if you ever came ^|9across acrux^9| it, we think it is a word ^|3something transpiciously^3| like canaille?º or: Did you anywhere, ^|3captain kennel^3|, ^|3on ^|4rural rambles your gullible's travels^4| or^3| during your ^|4tales of travel rural troubadouringº^4| happen to stumble upon a certain gay young nobleman ⁽⁶answering whimpering⁶⁾ to the name of Low ^|2Bugger Swine^2| who ^|7always addresses women out of the one corner of his mouth^|13,^13|7| lives on loans and is ^|5thirtyfive furtivefree^{5| |3}years yours^3| of age?º without one sign of haste,º like the supreme prig he was, ^|7and not a bit sorry,^7| he would pull a vacant landlubber's face^|7, rootº with earwaker's pensile in the outer of his lauscher^7| and then, lisping^|4, the prattlepate P parnella,^4| to kill time, ^|3and swatting his deadbest to think what ^|aunder ^|bthe canopies of^{b| |10}God ^|shJansens Chrest^sh|10|a| would any decent ^|afellow son of ^|7a bitch ^|10a shedog an Albiogenselman^{10|7|a| |7}who had bin to an university^7| think,^{3| |11}let a lent hit a hint and^11| begin to tell all the intelligentsia admitted to that ^|11tamileasy samtalaisy^{11| |3}conversazione conclamazzione^{3| |2}(since^|8, still and before^{8| |3}appreciated ^|8appreciable panestheticº^8|3| physicians, ^|8trusted lawyers lawyers merchant^8|, ^|3prepaid belfry^{3| |8}politicians pollititians^8|, ^|8agricolous manufraudurers,^{8| |9}sacrestanes of the Pure River Society,^{9| |a}philantropists ^|8philanthropists philanthropicks^{8|a| |7}sitting lodging^7| on as many boards ^|3of directors round the ^|8peninsula peninsuloungeº^{8|3| |a}at the same time^a| as possible)^2| the whole lifelong ^|11swrine^11| story of his entire low ^|11cornaille^11| existence, ^|3abusing his ^|adeceased^a| ancestors ^|awhoever they wherever the sods^a| were and one moment ⁽⁶blowing tarabooming⁶⁾ great ^|aguns blunderguns^{a| |7}(poh!)^7| about his farfamed fine Poppamore, Mr Humhum, ^|7whom history, climate and entertainment made the first of his sept ^|aand always up to debt^a|,^{7| |8}though e Eavens knows h ears ow many fines he faces,^8| and another moment ^|11visanvierssasº^{11| |4}giving ⁽⁶crowing ^|11croaghing cruaching^{11|6)4| |4}3 three^4| jeers ^|7(pah!)^7| for his rotten little ghost of a Peppybeg, Mr Himmyshimmy,^{3| |7}a blighty, a reeky, a lighty, a scrapy, a babbly, a ninny, dirty seventh among thieves, and always bottom sawyer,^{7| |8}till nowan ^|aknows knowed^a| how howmely howme could be,^8| giving unsolicited testimony ^|2to those present^2| on behalf of the absent^|13,^13| as glib as eaveswater,º ^|2to those present (whoº meanwhile^|13,^{13| |3}with increasing lack of interest ^|ain his semantics,^a|3| allowed various ^|asubconscious^{a| |8}smiles smickers^8| to ^|3travel drivel^3| slowly across their ^|8faces fichers^8|),º^{2| |2}consciously unconsciously^2| explaining^|2, ^|3for inkstands,^3| with a ^|4patience meticulosity^4| bordering on the insane,^2| the various meanings of all the different foreign ^|3phrases parts of speech^3| he misused and ^|4telling cuttlefishing^4| every lie ^|4unthinkable unshrinkable^4| about all the
{f39, 174}
other people in the story^|13,^{13| |2}except leaving out^2|, of course, ^|2foreconsciously,^2| the simple ^|13word worf^13| and ^|8plague and^{8| |13}person poison^13| they had cornered him about until there was not a ^|2hearer snoozer^2| among them but was utterly undeceived ^|2in the heel of the reel^2| by the recital of the rigmarole.

^|8It went He ^|awi_unread ^|13wint went^13|a|8| without saying that ^|3he the cull^3| disliked anything anyway approaching a plain straightforward standup or knockdown row and^|13,^13| as often as he was called in to umpire any ^|3octagonal ^|4octugonal octagonal^4|3| argument among slangwhangers^|13,^13| the accomplished washout always used to rub shoulders with the last
{f10, 138}
speaker ^|9and clasp shakers ^|a(the handtouchº which is speech without words)^a|9| and agree to every word as soon as half uttered^|3: ^|7command me!º^{7| |a}your servant,º^a| good, ^|7I revere you,^{7| |8}how, my seer?º be drinking that!^8| quite ^|7true truth^7|, ⁽⁶gratias,⁶⁾ I'm ^|ayours yoush^a|, ^|7see wha'm hearing?º^7| also ^|7good goods^7|, ^|8please it, me sure? be filling this!º^{8| |a}quiso,º ^|7you said it,^{7| |11}apasafello,^{11| (6}muchas grassyass,^{6) |7}is there fire firing-on-me? is their girlic-on-you?º to your good self,^7| yourº sulphur:º^a|3| and then at once turn ^|7focus focuss^7| his whole unbalanced attention c upon the next octagonist who managed to catch a listener's eye, asking and imploring him out of his piteous onewinker ^|11(hemoptysiaº diadumenos)^11| whether there was anything in the world he could do to please him and to overflow his ^|3tumbler tumbletantaliser^3| for him yet once more.

^|9⇒^9| One ⁽⁶kailcannon hailcannon⁶⁾ night ^|10|sh(for his departure was attended by a heavy downpour)^sh|10| as ^|3very^3| recently as ^|4twenty years some thousand rains^4| ago he wasº therefore treated with what closely resembled ^|8personal parsonal^8| violence,º being ^|8kicked soggert^{8| |3}alternately all unsuspectingly^3| through the deserted village ^|3of Tumblin-on-the-Leafy^3| from ^|5Mr Vanhomrigh's houseº at^{5| |err}82 81 bisº^{err| |3}Dublin Lane Mabbot's Mallº^3| to the as far as ^|5the lefthand^{5| |2|5}eastend^{5|2| |5}corner of Europa Parade Green Patchº beyond the brickfields of Salmon Pool^5| by rival teams of ⁽⁶argumentalists slowspiers^{6) (4}counter quicklimers⁴⁾ who finally, as ^|3really rahilly^3| they had been ^|3detained out rather late deteened out rawther la laetich^3|, thought^|11, busnis hits busnis,^11| they had better be streaking for home ^|8after their Auborne-to-Auborne, with thanks for the pleasant evening,^8| one and all disgustedly, ^|2instead of ^|8kicking ruggering^8| him back ^|3andº awake^3|,^2| reconciled ^|3(though they were as jealous as could be ^|acullions^a| about all the truffles they ^|atook ⁽⁴had⁴⁾ brought^a| on him)^3| to a friendship, fast and furious, which merely arose out of ^|3his the noxious pervert's^3| perfect lowness. Again there was a hope that people,
{f39, 175}
looking on him with ⁽⁴comparative contempt the contempt of the contemptiblesº⁴⁾, after first givingº him a roll in the dirt mightº pity and forgive him⁽⁴, if properly deloused,⁴⁾ but the pleb was born ⁽⁴low a Quicklow⁴⁾ and sank ⁽⁴lower alowing⁴⁾ till he ⁽⁴sank stank⁴⁾ out of sight.

^|9⇒^{9| |8}All Saints beat Belial! Mickil Goals to Nichil! ^|aImpossible! Notpossible!^a| Already?^8|

^|7In Nowhere has yet the Whole World taken part of himself for his Wife;
By Nowhomº have Poorparents been sentenced to ^|aEarth, ^|bClay, Worms,^b|a| Blood and Thunder for Life;º
Not yet has the Emp ^|a_unreadepfrom up fromº^a| Corpsica forced the Arth out of Engleterre;
Not yet have ^|aSachses and Judds ⁽⁺the⁺⁾ Sachsen and Judder^a| on the Mound of a Word made Warre;
Not yet Witchywitchyº of Wench ^|ahasº^a| struck Fire of his Heath from on Hoath;
Not yet his Arcobaleine ^|ahasº^a| forespoken Peacepeace upon ^|aOarth; Oath;^a|
Cleftfoot from ⁽⁺Himmel must tunnule, Hempal must tumpel^|13,^13|+) Blamefool Gardener's bound to fall;
Broken Eggsº will poursuive bitten Apples for ^|awhere ^|bwhile where^b|a| theirs is Will there's his Wall;
But the Mountstill frowns on the Millstream while their Madsons ^|afight leap^a| o'erº his Bier
And her Rillstrill liffs to His Murkesty all her daft Daughters laff in her Ear.
{f10, 139}
Till the four ^|13shores Shores^13| of deff Tory Island let the douze dumm Eirewhiggs ^|arail! raille!^a|
Hirp! Hirp!º for ^|aour their^a| Missed Understandings! chirps the Ballat of Perce Oreille.º^7|

^|8O fortunous casualitas!^{8| |11}Lefty takes the cherubcake while Rightoº cloves his hoof.^11| Darkiesº never done tug that coon out to play ^|10non-excretory, anti-sexuous, misoxenetic, gaasy pure,^10| flesh and blood games^|10, written and composed and sung and danced by Niscemus Nemon,^10| same as piccaninnies play all day, those old ^|11(none of your honeys and rubbers!)^11| games ^|10for fun and element^10| we used to play whe with ^|8Dina and^8| old Joe kicking her behind and before and the ^|7yellow yallowº^7| girl kicking him behind old Joe,
{f39, 176}
games likeº ^|7Thom Thom the thonderman,^7| Put the wind up the peeler, Hat in the ring, ⁽⁶Healy ^|errHely^{14|6) |err}Baba and the forty thieves, Prisson your pritchards and play withers team,º^{err| |7}Soldier, soldier, will you marry me?, Mikel on the luckypig, Nickel in the slot,^7| Sheila Harnett and her cow, ^|9|~Adam and Ell, Humble bumble, Moggiesº on the wall, Twos and threes, American jump, Fox come out of your den, Broken bottles, Writing a letter to Punch, ^|13Tip top Tiptop^13| is a sweetstore, ^|10|shHenressy Crump expolled^sh|,^10| Postman's knock, ^|10Are we ^|afairly fairlys^a| represented?,^10| Solomon silent reading, Appletree ^|apeartree, pearstone,º^a| I know a washerwoman, Hospitals, As I was walking, ^|10There is oneyone's house in Dreamcolohour,^10| Battle of Waterloo, Colours, Eggs in the bush, Habberdasherisher, Telling your dreams, What's the time, Nap, Ducking mammy, Last man standing,^{~|9| |10}Heali Baboon and the ^|13forty forky^13| theagues, Fickleyes and futilears,^{10| |7|a}O I married Handmarried^a| but once in my life and I'll never commit such a sin agin, ^|11Zip cooney candy, Turkey in the straw,^11| This is the way we sow the seed of a long and lusty morning, Hops of fun at Miliken's make,^7| I ^|4saw seen^4| the toothbrush with Pat Farrell,º Here's the fat to ^|10grease graze^10| the priest's boots^|7, When the his steam was like a raimbrandt round MacGarvey^7|.

^|9⇒^9| Now it is notoriously known how on that surprisingly ^|10bloody bludgeony^10| Unity Sunday,º when the grand germogall allstar bout was ^|8gaily harrily^8| the rage between our ^|8fightingmen ^|aweltingmen weltingtoms^a|8| extraordinary ^|8and our pettythicks the marshalaisy^8| and Irish eyes of welcome were smiling ^|4up their sleeves daggers down their ^|8back backs^8|4|, ^|7when the rothº vice and blause met the noyr blank and rogues and the grim white and cold bet the black fighting tans,^{7| |10}categorically unimperatived by the maxims,º^10| rankº funk getting the better of himº the scut ^|3in a bad fit of pyjamas^3| fled ^|3like a leveret^3| for his bare ^|3life lives ^|11to Talviland,º ahone ahaza,^{11| |a}pursued by the scented curses of all the village belles and,^a|3| without having struck one blow ^|3and ^|11(pig stole on him was lust he lagging it was becaused dust he shook)^11|,º^{3| |11}corked kushykorkedº^11| himself up tight in his ⁽⁶inkbottle inkbattle⁶⁾ house, badly the worse for ^|4drink boosegas^4|, ^|7there to stay ^|11in afar^11| for the life,º^7| where^|7|a, as there was not a moment to be lost,^a| after he had boxed a roundº with his fortepiano till he was whole ^|10|shbamp him^sh|10| bla bachº and ^|10|shbump him^sh|10| blues,^7| he ^|2hid collapsed^2| carefully under a bedtick from ^|11Switzer's Schwitzer's^{11| |3}with,^3| hisº face enveloped ^|4in into^4| a dead warrior's ^|3overcoat telemac^3|,
{f10, 140}
^|3with a ^|11lullobaw's somnbomnet and a^11| whotwaterwottle
{f39, 177}
to at his feet,º to stoke his energy of waiting,º^3| moaning feebly ^|9|+|11inº monkmarian monotheme^|a, but tarnalº long and then a nation louder^a|11|, while engaged in swallowing from a large ^|s10bottle ampullar^s10|,^+|9| that his ^|3punishment pawdry's purgatory^3| was more than a nigger ^|8man bloke^8| could bear, hemiparalysed by ^|9|s+the tong warfare and^s+|9| all the shemozzle ^|4(⁽⁶Daily Maily, fullup lace! Holy Maly, mothelup Joss! Daily Maily,º fullup lace!º Holy Maly, mothelupº Joss!º⁶⁾)^4|,º his cheeks and trousers changing colour every time a gat croaked.

^|9⇒^9| How is that for low, ^|7ladies and laymen laities and gentlenuns^7|? Why, ^|11dog of the Crostiguns,^11| whole continents rang with ^|4his this^{4| |11}Kairokoiranº^11| lowness! ^|2|4Millions of women in dozens of countries Sheols of houris in chems upon divans^{4| |a}(revolted ^|4demimondaines stellas vespertine^4| amongº them)º^a| at a bare ^|4(O!)^4| mention ^|9of the scaly rybald^9| exclaimed: ^|4O! ^|9Fish! Poisse!^9|4|2|

Butº would anyone, short of a madhouse, believe it? ^|2Neither of those clean little ^|3cherubs cherubum^3|,^2| Nero or ^|3Nabuchodonosor Nobookishonesterº^3| himself,º ^|5never ever^5| nursed such a spoiled opinion of his monstrous marvellosity as did this mental and moral defective ^|2(here perhaps at ^|5his really lowest the vanessance of his lownest^5|)^2| who was known to ^|2(6belch grognt⁶⁾ rather than^{2| (6}brag gunnard^{6) |7}on upon^7| one occasion^|3, while drinking heavily of spirits,º^3| to ^|8an that^8| interlocutor ^|3a latereº^{3| |9|s+}and private privysuckatary^s+|9| he used to pal around with ^(4|10inº the kavehazs^10|, one Davy ^|7Dunn Browne-No Browne-Nowlan^7|,º^{4) |7}his ^|8heavenly heavenlaid^8| twin ^|9|s+and private privysuckatary^{s+|9| |11}(this hambone ^|apoet dogpoet^a| pseudoed himself under the hangname ^|ahe gave himself^a| of Bethgelert)^11|,º^7| in ^|3the porchway of^3| a gipsy's bar ^|3(Shem ^|aalways^{a| |a}swearing blaspheming^|b,º so holy writ, billy Billy,^b|a| he would ^|atry, ^|bold^b| Belly, and^a| pay ^|ahim this ^|bone^{b| |5}manjack^5| congregant of his^a| fourpence four soups ^|aa month every ^|blast of the month lass of nexmouth, bully ⁽⁴Bully Bolly⁴⁾, ^|7so sure as thair's a tale tail on a ^|acommet commatº^a|,^{7|b|a| |a|b}if he had the as a taste for aº^b| storik's fortytooth^|7, that is to stay,^{7| (4}ony twenny minnies moe, Bolly,^4)a| toº listen ^|ato out⁽⁴, ony twenny minnies moe, Bully,^4)a| his Ballade Imaginaire,º ⁽⁴which was to be ^|7called ^|adu_unreaded dubbed^a|7| Wine, Woman and Waterclocks ^|7orº How a Guy Finks and Fawkes When He Is Going Batty^7| byº Maistre Sheames de la Plume,⁴⁾ son some most dreadful stuff in a murderous ^|11handwriting mirrorhand^11|)^3| that he was ^|3awoopfº ⁽⁶(parn me!)^6)3| aware of no other ^|3person shaggyspickº, other Shakhisbeard,º^3| either ^|3exactly prexactly^3| unlike ^|3his polar andthisishis^3| orº ^|3precisely procisely^3| the ^|3same ^|4shame seemsº^4|3| as ^|3woops ⁽⁶(parn!)⁶⁾ as^3| what he fancied or imagined guessed ^|4the sames as^4| he was himself ^|7and that^|a, ^|11greet scoot, duckings and thuggery,^11| though he ^|bwas^b| foxed fux to fux ^|11like a bunnyboy rodger^11| with all the teashop
{f39, 178}
^|8lions lionses^8| of Lumdrum ^|11hivanhoesed^11| up gagainst him, ^|11being a lapsis linquo with a ruvidubb shortartempa, bad cad dad fad sad mad nad vanhaty fearº, ^|athe consciquenchers of casuality prepestered crusswords in postposition, scruff, scruffer, scrufferumurraimost^{a|11| |b}andallthatsortofthing,º^b|a| if reams stood to reason ^|11and his lankalivline lasted^11| he would wipe ^|aall ^|bwhole alley^b|a| english ^|aspooker^|11, mutaphoni multaphoniaksically spuking,^11|a| off the face of the erse^7|.

^|9⇒^9| After the thorough fright he got that bloodyº ^|8Swithun's^8| day, though every doorpost in muchtried Lucalizod was smeared with generous ^|7erstborn^7| gore and every free for all cobbleway slippery with the ^|8blood bloods^8| of heroes ^|2cryingº
{f10, 141}
to ^|8heaven Welkins^8| for others ^|3andº noahs and culvertsº agush with tears of joy^3|,^{2| |3}the our^3| low waster never had the common baalamb's pluck to stir out and about ^|4the compound^4| while everyone else of the ^|7city torchlit^7| throng, slashers and sliced alike, ^|11mobbu on massa,^{11| |7}waded waaded and baaded^7| around^|2, ^|11yampyam pampyam,^{11| |3}chanting the Gillooly chorus ^|10fromº the ^|shMonster Book of Paltryattic Puetrie^sh|10|, ^|7|aO pura e pia bella!,º^a| in junk ^|aet ^|band et^b|a| sampam ^|aand or^a| in secular sinkalarum,^7|3| heads up,^2| on theirº daily bonafide avocationsº ^|10(the little folk creeping on all fours to their natural school treat but childishly gleeful when a stray whizzer sang out intermediately)^{10| (6}while and^{6) |2}happy belongers to^2| the fairer sex on their usual quest for higher things^|10, but vying with Lady Smythe to ^|shavenge MacJobber^sh|,^10| went stonestepping ^|10with^{10| |4|a}her their^a| bickerstaffsº ^|9|10on educated feet^10|, plinkity plonk,º^9|4| across the ^|3human bridge ⁽⁺⁸rainbow bridge sevenspan ponteº dei colori^+)8|3| set up over the slop ^|10after the ^|shwar-to-end war^sh|10| by Messrs a charitable government,º for the only once ^|11(Diaº dose Finnados!)^11| he did take a ^|11tompeep tompip peepestrella^11| throughº a threedraw ^|3eighteen-hawkspowerº^{3| |11}durdicky^{11| |3}telescope telescoopº^|11, luminous to larbourd only like the lamps in Nassaustrass,^11|3| out of of his westernmost keyhole^|3, spitting at the ^|11impenetrable impenetrablum^{11| |7}weather wetterº^{7| |11}(and it was porcoghastly) that outumn)^11|,º^3| with an eachway hope in his shivering soul^|10, as he ^|shprayed to the cloud Incertitude^sh|,^10| of finding out for himself^|11, on akkount of all the kules in Kroukaparka or oving to all the kodseoggs in Kalatavala,^11| whether true conciliation was forging ahead or falling back ^|7after the celestious intemperance^7| and^|11, for Duvvelsache,^11| why^|11, with his ^|asee^a| me see and his my see a corves and his fiskerfoskerfuskerº
{f39, 179}
layen ^|alove loves^a| in meeingseeing,^11| he ^|4got the charm of his ^|aoptical^a| life when he^4| found himself ^|10(hic sunt lennones!)^10| at pointblank range blinking down the barrel of an irregular revolver of the bulldog ^|2with a purpose^2| patternº handled by an unknown quarreler who, supposedly, had been told off to shade and shoot shy Shem should the shit show his shiny ^|4nose shnout^4| out awhile to look facts in ^|9the their^9| face before being ^|4hosed holedº^4| and creased ^|7(uprip and jack him!)^7| by ^|4five or six six or a dozen^4| of the gayboys.

What^|7, ^|11para Saom Plaom,^11| in the names of Deucalion and Pyrrha ^|aand the ^|bincensed^b| privy and the ^|blicensed^b| pantry gods ^|band Stator and Victor and Kutt and Runn^{b|a| |11}and the whole mesa redonda of Lorencao Otulass in convocacaon^11|,º^7| was this ⁽⁶interestingly disinterestingly⁶⁾ low human type^|8, this Calumnious Column of Cloaxity, this Bengalese Beacon of ^|aBilosity Biloxity^a|, this Annamite Aper of Atroxity,^8| really at^|11, it will be precise to quarify,^{11| |8}for he seems in a badbad case^8|?

^|9⇒^9| The answer^|11, to do all the diddies in one dedal,^{11| |8}is would sound^8|: ^|7from pulling himself on his most flavoured canal the huge chesthouse of his elders ^|11(the Popapreta, and some navico, navvies!)^11| he had flickered up ^|aand flinnered down^a| into^7| a drug and drunkery addictº growing megalomane ^|7at of^7| a loose ^|7end past^7|. This explains the litany of ^|3letters septuncial lettertrumpets^3|,º honorific, highpitched,
{f10, 142}
erudite, neoclassical,º which he so loved as ^|3patricianly^3| to ^|2place manuscribe^2| after his name. It would have diverted, if ever seen,º the shuddersome spectacle of this ^|2semidemented^2| zany ^|2in the amid the inspissated^2| grime of his ^|4glaucous^4| den making believe to read his ^|7eminently usylessly^7| unreadable ^|2chapbook ^|5bluebook Blue Book of Eccles^|8, édition de ténèbresº^{8|5| |3}(even yet^|8,º si sighs the Most Differentº Dr Pointdejeukº, authorised bowdler and censor,^8| it can't be repeated!)^3|2|,º turning over three sheets at a ^|9time wind^9|, ^|3telling himself delightedly^|11, no espellor mor so,^11| that every splurge on the vellum he blundered over was ^|aa an aisling^a| vision more gorgeous than the one before, ^|7t.i.t.s.,º^7| a ^|7rose roseschelle^7| cottage by the sea for nothing for ever, a ladies'º ^|atryon^a| hosiery ^|asale raffle^a| at ^|aArnott's liberty^a|, a sewerful of guineagold wine ^|11with brancomonge padeiropieº^{11| |a}and ^|4ten ounce sickcylinder^4| oysters worth a billion a bite^|5:,^5|a| an entire operahouse ^|9(there was to be stamping room only in the prompter's ^|abox loudboxº^a| and
{f39, 180}
everthemore his queueº kept swelling)^9| of ^|aenthusiastic^a| noblewomen flinging every ^|acoronetcrimsoned^a| stitch they had ^|4on off^4| at his ^|4feet probscenium^4|,º one after the ^|4other others^4|, ^|11inamagoaded into ajustilloosing themselves,^{11| |7}in their gaiety pantheomime,^7| when^|4, egad, sir,^{4| |11}acordant to the all acountstrick,^11| he ^|s10sang squealed^s10| the ⁽⁶topnote topsquall^{6) |11}in im^{11| |5}After the Ball Deal Lil Shemlockup Yellin^{5| |a}(geewhiz, jew ear that far! ^|bsoap ewer!^{b| |11}loutgout of sabaous!^11| juiceº like a boyd!)^a| for fully five minutes^|err,º^err| infinitely better than ^|11Barton McGuckin, Baraton McGluckin,º^11| with a ^|a|bgorgeous scrumptious^b|a| cocked hat and ^|a|43 three green^|11, cheese and tangerine^{11| |5}trinity trimmityº^5|4|a| plumes on ^|9the right-handledº side of^9| his ^|11amarellous^11| head^|7, ^|10a coat macfarlane ^|sh(the kerssest cut, you understand?)^sh|,º^10| a sponiard's digger at his ribs ^|11(Alfaiate punxit)^11|,º^{7| |11}an azulblu blowsheet for his blousebosom blossom^11| and a ^|5dean's^5| crozier ^|4that he won ^|7from Cardinal Lindundarri and Cardinal Carchingarri and Cardinal Loriotuli and Cardinal Occidentaccia (ah ho!) in the dearby darby doubled^7| for falling first over the hurdles, madam,^4| in the ^|4other odder^4| hand,^{3| |7}but a.a.t.s.o.t. Butº^7| what with the murky light, the botchy print, the tattered cover, the jigjagged page, the fumbling fingers, ^|2the foxtrotting fleas, the lieabed lice,º^2| the scum ^|3in his eye on his tongue^3|, ^|3the drop in his eye, the lump in his throat,^3| the drink in his pottle, the itch in his palm, ^|2the wail of his wind,º the grief from his nose,^2| the dig in his ribs, ^|3the age of his arteries,^{3| |2}the weight of hisº breath, ^|3the fog of his ^|7brainfag mindfag^7|, ^|7the buzz in his braintree,^7| the tic of his conscience,^3| the height ^|7of up^7| his rage,^2| the gush ^|7of down^7| his fundament, the fire in his gorge, ^|2the tickle ^|ain of^a| his tail,^{2| |10}the bane in his bullugs, the squince in his suil, ^|athe rot in his eater, the ycho in his earer, the totters of his toes, ^|shthe tetters on his tumtytum^sh|,^a|10| the rats in his garret, ^|9|xthe bats in his belfry, the budgerigars and bumbosolom beaubirds,^x|9| the hullabaloo and the dust in his ears^|3,º since it took him a month to steal a march^3| he was hardset to ^|7memorise mumorise^7| more than a word a week.

^|9⇒ ^|xHake'sº haulin! Hak Hook's fisk! Can you beat it? Whawe?º I say, can you bait it?^x|9| Was there ever heard of such lowdown blackguardism? ^|2Positively it
{f10, 143}
woolliesº one to think ^|aof over^a| it.^2| Yetº the bumpersprinkler used to boast aloud alone to himself ^|7with a haccent on it^{7| |3}when ^|8Mynfadher was a boer constructor and^8| Hoy was ^|7a lexical student,º parole, and^7| corrected with the blackboard^3|
{f39, 181}
^|7(trying to copy the stage Englesemen he broughts their house down on, shouting: Bravure, surr Chorles! ^|8|aLetterperfect! Letterpurfect!º^a|8| Culossallº, Loose Wallor! ^|8Spache!^8|)^7| how he had been ^|3put toed^3| out of all the ^|3best schicker^3| families of the ^|3Klondykers ⁽⁺Klondykers, Klondykersº^{+) |x|a}bigabig ⁽⁺bigaboss^{+)a| (+}Affenduliums, splenthimunnium grandbig seigniors⁺⁾, ⁽⁺notables,^{+)x|3| |2}fromº ^|9Pioupiouland Pioupioureich^9|, Swabspays, the land of Nod, Shruggers' Country, ^|3Pension^3| Danubierhome and Barbaropolis,^2| who had settled ^|8and stratified^8| in the capital city after its after its after its ^|7hebdomodary^7| metropoliarchialisation,º ^|7as sunblistered, moonplastered, gory, wheedling, joviale, litcherous and full,^7| ordered off the ^|3gorgeous^3| premises in most cases on account of his smell which all theº cookmaids ^|7eminently^7| objected to as resemblingº the ^|7bombinubble^{7| |9}smell that came puzzo that welled^9| out of the ^|9sink pozzo^9|. Instead of ^|3tutoring chuthoring^3| those ^|3best ^|4finest model^{4|3| |4}families households^4| plain wholesome ^|4handwriting pothooks^4| (a thing he never possessed of his ^|4Nigerian^4| own) what do you think ^|3he Vulgariano^3| did but study with stolen fruit how cutely to copy all their various styles of signature so as one day to utter ^|9a colossal anº epical^9| forged cheque on the public for his own private profit until, as just related, the ^|4Dublin ⁽⁶Dullbin's Dustbin's^6)4| United Scullerymaids' and Househelps'º Sorority^|10, betterº known as Sluttery's Mowlted Futt,^{10| |2}kicked turned him down and ^|3unitedly kicked assisted nature by unitedly ^|8kicking shoeing^8|3|2| the source of annoyance out of the place altogether ^|10and taytotally^10| inº the heat of the moment, ^|3holding one another's ^|4nose gonk^{4| |a}(for no-one, hound or scrublady, ^|8not even the Turk, ungreekable in purscent of the armenable,^8| dared whiff ^|4him the polecat^4| at close range)^a| and^3| making some ^|4pointed ^|7pointing pointopointing^7|4| remarks as they ^|4did done^4| so ^|7at the prefectsº of the Sniffey^|10, your honour,^{10|7| |3}about aboon^3| the ^|4low lyow^{4| |3}way he why a^3| stunk^|10, mister^10|.

^|7[Jymes wishes to hear from wearers of abandoned female costumes, gratefully received, wadmelº jumper, rather full pair of culottes ^|aand onthergarmenteries^a|, to start city life together. ^|8His jymes is out of job, would sit and write.^8| He has ^|alately^a| committed oneº of the ^|8then^8| commandments but she will ^|8now^8| assist. Superior built, domestic, regular layer. Also got the boot. He appreciates it. Copies. ABORTISEMENT.º]^7|

One cannot even begin to ^|10post^10| figure out ^|10a statuesquo ante as to^10| how ^|4low slow^4| in reality ^|3such a creature the ^|9excommunicated^9| Drumcondriac, ^|7called nate^{7| |a}Sem ^|bSemm Hamish^b|a|,º^3| really was. Who can say how many unsigned first copies of original masterworks, how manyº pseudostylic
{f39, 182}
shamiana, how few or how many of the most venerated public impostures, how very many ^|2piously forged^2| palimpsests,º slipped in the first place ^|2by this morbid process^2| from his ⁽⁶plagiarist pelagiarist⁶⁾ pen?

Be that as it may, butº for ^|10that phan ^|shlight phantastic^sh| from of^10| his ^|3nose's gnose's^3| glow as it slid ^|10|shlucifericiously^{sh|10| |2}so close to the within an inch of its^2| page ^|8(he would touch at its from time to other^|11, the red eye of his fear in saddishness,^{11| |a}to ensign the colours
{f10, 144}
by the beerlitz in his mathness^a| and his ^|abankmates to cry educandees to outhue^a| to themselves ^|ain the cries of girlglee^a|: gember! inkware! ^|ajohnchamber! chonchambre!º^a| cinsero! zinnzabar! tincture and gin!)^{8| |2}he Nibs^2| never would have ^|3penned a word to paper quilled a seriph to sheepskin^3|. By that rosy ^|3lamp's lampoon's^3| effluvious burning ^|4and with help of the simulchronic flashº in his pann^{4| |11}(a ghinee a ghirk he ghets there!)^11| he ^|10scribbled scrabbled^10| and scratched ^|10and scriobbled and skrevened^10| nameless shamelessness about everybody ever he met, even ^|3sheltering for an hour or so from a spring sharing aº^{3| |8}shower precipitation^8| under the ^|s11dogs' idlish tarriers'^s11| umbrella of a ^|8public showerproof^8| wall, while all over andº up and down ^|3both the four^3| margins of this rancid Shem stuff the evilsmeller ^|3(who was devoted to ^|11Uldfadar^11| S_unread Sardanapalus)^3| used to ^|3draw stipple^3| endlessly inartistic portraits of himself ^|7in the act of reciting ^|aold Nichiabelli's monolook interyerear^a| Hannoº o Nonanno,º acce'l brubblemm'!^7| as^|7,º ^|8sir Author ser Autore^8|, q.e.d.,º^7| a ^|3strikingly heartbreakingly^3| handsome young ^|8man paolo^8| with love lyrics ^|3for the ^|agoils goyls^a|3| in his ^|3eyes eyols^3|, a ^|3tiptop plaintiff's^{3| |7}tenor tanner^{7| |3}voice ^|9voarse vuice^9|3|, a ^|5ducal income jucal inkome^5| of one hundred and thirtytwo ^|4pounds a dranchmas per^{4| |3}year yard^3| derivedº from ^|3landed ^|7Broken Hill^7| stranded^3| estate, ^|7Oxford Camebreech^{7| |5}manners mannings^5|, ^|2cutting a great dash in^2| a brandnew two-guineaº dress suit ^|3and a burled ^|7shirt hogsford^{7|3| |2}hired^2| for ^|2an evening a ^|3Sunday evening party Furskayº evenin merry pawty^3|2|, ^|3and a anna^{3| |4}lovely loavely^4| long pair of inky Italian ^|3moustaches glittering moostarshes glistering^3| with boric vaseline and frangipani. ^|3|7Pah! Puh!^7|3| How unwhisperably ^|4low so^4|!

The house ^|5of Shem or Shame O'Shea or O'Shame^5|, ^|7|aQuivapiano Quivapieno^a|,º^7| known as the ^|3haunted inkbottle Haunted Inkbottle, ^|a|b1 ⁽⁶one no number^6)b|a| Brimstone Walk, Asia in Ireland,^3| as it was infested with the raps, ^|4with his penname SHUT ^|5sepiasoaped sepiascraped^5| on the doorplate and a blind of black sailcloth over its wan phwinshogue,º^4| in which ^|11he the soulcontracted son of the secret cell^11| groped through life at the expense of the taxpayers, ^|3injected dejected^3| into day and night ^|3with jesuistº bark and bitter bite,º^{3| |9|+}calicohydrants
{f39, 183}
of zolfor and scoppialamina^+|9| by ^|2|3practically full and^3|2| forty ^|3quacks ^|aquisisanas ^|7quisisanos queasisanosº^7|a|3|, ^|3day by day every day in everyone's way^3| more exceeding in violent abuse of self and others, was the worst, it is ^|3believed hoped^3|, even in our western world playboyish world for pure ^|3mousefarm^3| filth. ^|10|shYou brag of your ba brass castle or your tyled house in ballyfermont?^sh| Niggs, niggsº and niggs again!º For this was a stinksome inkenstink, quite puzzonal to the wrotterº.^{10| |5|x}Smatterafact,^{x| |a}Angels Angles^a| oftanonº browsing there thought not Edam reeked more rare. ^|athe unread Myº wud!^a|5| The warped flooring of the lair ^|3and soundconducting walls thereof^|9, to say nothing of the uprights and imposts,^{9|3| |+5}was were^+|5| persianly literatured with burst loveletters, telltale stories, stickyback snaps, doubtful eggshells, ^|7bouchers, flints, borers, puffers, amygdaloid almonds, rindless raisins,º alphybettyformed verbage, vivlical viasses, ompiter dictas, visus umbique, ahems and ahahs, ineffibleº tries at speech unasyllabled,^7| you owe mes, ^|7eyeol eyoldhyms,^7| fluefoul smut, fallen lucifers, vestas which had served, showered ornaments, borrowed brogues, reversibleº jackets, blackeye lenses, ^|3family jars,^3| falsehair shirts, Godforsaken scapulars,
{f10, 145}
neverworn breeches, ^|3cutthrough cutthroat^3| ties, counterfeit ^|3francs franks^3|, best intentions, ^|2curried notes, upset ^|3latten^3| tintacks, unused mill and stumblingº stones,^2| twisted quills, ^|3painful digests,^{3| |2}magnifying wineglasses, solid objects cast at ^|4phantoms goblins^4|,^2| once current puns, ^|3new quashed^3| quotatoes, messes of mottage, unquestionable issue papers, seedy ejaculations, limerick damns, crocodile tears, blasphemat spilt ink, blasphematory spits, stale chestnuts, schoolgirls',º young ladies',º milkmaids', washerwomen's, shopkeepers' wives',º merry widows', ^|3three ex^3| nuns', ^|3one abbess's vice abbesses'º^3|, ^|3prudent pro^3| virgins', ^|3impudent super^3| whores', silent sisters', Charleys' aunts', grandmothers', mothers-in-laws'º, fostermothers', godmothers' garters, ^|2tress clippings from right ^|7and left,º ^|8left lift^8| and cintrum^7|,^2| worms of snot, ^|2toothsome pickings,^2| cans of ^|2Swiss^2| condensed bilk, highbrow lotions, kisses from the antipodes, ^|2presents from pickpockets, borrowed plumes,^2| relaxable handgrips, princess promises, lees of ^|7wine whine^7|, deoxodised carbons, broken wafers, unloosed shoe latchets, ^|3convertible collars,º ^|11diviliouker doffers,º^11|3| crooked strait waistcoats, fresh ^|3views of hell horrors from Hades^3|, globules of mercury, undeleted glete, ^|3glass eyes for an eye, ^|8false gloss^8| teeth for a tooth,^3|
{f39, 184}
war moans, special sighs, longsufferings of longstanding, ahs ohs ouisº sis jas jos gias neys thaws sos,º yeses and yeses and yeses, to which,º if one has the stomach to add the breakages, upheavals,º distortions, inversions,º of all this chambermade music,º one stands^|3, given a grain of goodwill,^3| a fair chance of actually seeing the whirling dervish^|10, ^|shTumult, son of Thunder^sh|,^{10| |3(+}of this fool's paradox⁺⁾º^{3| |3}exiled selfexiledº^3| in upon his ego,º ^|7a nightlong a shaking betwixtween whiter white or reddr hawrors,^7| noondayterrorised ^|2to skin and bone^2| by an ineluctable ^|3shadow phantom ^|7(may the Shaper have ^|amisery ^|bmercery merseryº^b|a| on him!)^7|,º^3| writing the ^|4history mystery^4| of himselfº in furniture.

Of course our low hero was a selfvaleterº by choice of need so up he got ^|3up^3| whatever is meant by a ^|11Stourbridgeº clay^11| kitchenette and ^|11lithargogalenu^11| fowlhouse for the sake of ^|10eggs akes ^|a(the umpple does not fall very far from the dumpertree)^{a|10| |3}which ^|ahe the ^|11moromelodious^{11| |5}jokesmith jigsmith^5||9, ^|10in defiance of the Uncontrollable Birth ^|aPreservitevation Preservativation^a| (Game and Poultry) Act,^10| playing ^|11lallaryrook^11| cookerynook,º^{9|a| |10}by the ^|shdodginess^sh| of his lentern,^10| brooled and cocked and potched in an athanor^|10, whites and yolks and yilks and whotes to the frulling fredonnance of Mas blanca que la blanca hermana and Amarilla, muy bien,^10| with cinnamon and locusts and ^|4wild^4| beeswax and liquorice and ⁽⁶Carageen Carrageen⁶⁾ moss and blaster of Barry's ^|11and ^|aAsthar's Asther's^a| mess and Huster's micture^11| and Yellownan's embrocation ^|11and Pinkingtone's patty^11| and stardust and sinner's tears, ^|11acuredent to Sharadan's Art of Panning,^{11| |a}chanting^|11, for all regale to the ^|alight like^a| of the legs he left behind with Litty fun Letty fan Leven,^11| his cantraps ^|7of fermented words^7|,^a| abracadabra calubra culorumº ^|a(hisº oewfs à la Madame Gabrielle de l'Eglise, his ^|10oewfs avgs^10| à la Mistress B. de B. Meinfeldesº, ^|7his ^|10oewfs ^|auoves eiers^a|10| Usquadmala à la pomme de ciel,^7| his ^|10oewfs uoves, oves and uves^10| à la Sulphate de
{f10, 146}
Soude, his ^|10oewfs ochiuri^10| sowtay à la Monsei sowmonayº à la Monseigneur, his soufflosion ^|10of oogs with somekat on toyast^10| à la Mère Puard, ^|11his Poggadovies alla Fenella,^11| his Frideggs à la Tricarême)^a|,º^3| in what was meant for a closet.º ^|8(Ah ho! If only he had listened better to the four masters that infanted him,º Father Mathew and Le Père Noble and ^|aParson Pastor^a| Lucas and Padre Aguilar — not forgetting Layteacher Baudwin! Ah ho!)^8| His ^|3costive Satan's^{3| |11}antimonian manganese limolitmious^11|
{f39, 185}
nature never needed such an alcove so,º when Robber and Mumsell, the ^|4paper pulpic^4| dictators,º ^|4on the nudgment of their legal advisers, Messrs Codex and Podex,º and under his own benefiction of their pastor Father Flammeus Falconer,º^4| boycotted him of all muttonsuet candles and ^|4romeruled^4| stationery for any purpose,º he ^|4went winged^4| away ^|4on a ^|8wildfool's wildgoup's^8| chase across the kathartic ocean^4| and made synthetic ink and ^|4unruled pages sensitive paper^4| for his own ^|4use end^4| out of his wits'º ^|4end waste^4|.

^|9⇒^9| Youº ask^|3, in Sam Hill,^3| how?º

^|9⇒^9| Letº manner and matter of ^|4it this^4| for these our sporting times be cloaked up in the language of blushfed ^|7cardinals ^|errporpurates porporatesº^14|7| lest that an Anglican ordinal, not reading his own rude ^|7tongue dunsky tunga^7|, may ever behold the brand of scarlet on the brow of her of Babylon and feel not the pink one in his own damned cheek.

Primum opifex, altus prosator, ad terram viviparam et cunctipotentem ^|4nec sine^4| ullo ^|4pudori pudore^4| nec ^|4venia venia, suscepto pluviali atque^{4| |2}discinctis ^|4perizomatis et perizomatis,^4|2| natibus nudis uti ^|2nudi nati^2| fuissent,º sese adpropinquans,º flens et gemens,º in manum suam evacuavit (highly prosy, ^|2shit crap^2| in his hand, sorry!º), postea^|2, ^|3animale nigro^3| exoneratus, classicum pulsans,º^2| stercus proprium, quod appellavit deiectiones ⁽⁶meas, suas,⁶⁾ in ^|4vasum vas^4| olim honorabile tristitiae posuit, eodem ^|4sub invocatione fratrorum geminorum Medardi et Godardi^4| lenteº ac melliflue minxit,º psalmum qui incipit: Lingua mea calamus scribae velociter scribentis: magna voce cantitans (did a piss, says he was dejected, asks to be exonerated), demum ex stercore turpi cum divi Orionis iucunditate mixto, cocto, frigorique exposito, encaustum sibi fecit ^|7indelibilem indelibile^7| (^|2made faked^2| O'Ryan's, the indelible ink).