— ^|5Howº good you are^{5| |5}Now but now^5| could you, of course, decent ^|5Shaun Lettrechaun to change your name ifº not your nation^5|, we knew, while still in the barrel, read the strangewritten ^|5Shemtongue anaglyptics^5| of those ^|5letters Shemlettersº^5| patent to His Em.

— ^|5Read! Greek?^5| Shaun ^|5replied. replied,º pointing to the cinnamon quill behind his ear, Look at that for a ridingpin!^5| I am ^|5most potent letterpotentº^5| to play ^|5it the same^5| backwards like anything ^|5on draught and in bottle^5| with my eyes shut and all. But it is ^|5woful horrebrew^5| bad on the ^|5hands corns and callouses^5|. As far as that goes I associate myself with your remarks just now ^|5re ^|astolen furloinedº^a| notepaper^5| and quite agree in your descriptions for indeed ^|5I am in juxtaposition to say^5| it is not a nice production. It is a pinch of scribble. ^|5Overdrawn!^5| Nothing beyond clerical ^|5errors horrors^5| et omnia to be entered ^|5for the foreigner^5| as secondclass matter.
{f39, 420}
Flummery is what I would call it if you were to ask me ^|5to put it in a single dimension^5| what pronounced opinion I might have about them bagses of trash which the mother and Mr ^|5Shem ^|aShem the Draper Unmentionable^a|5| has reduced to writing ^|5|aunder his by making use of my^a| sootyname^5|. An infant sailing eggshells on the floor of a wet day would have more sabby.

Letter, carried by Shaun, son of Hec, written by Shem, brother of Shaun, for Alp, mother of Shem, about Hec, father of Shaun.

— Kind Shaun, we all requested, much as we hate to say it but since you came to the use of ^|5language money^5| have you not, without suggesting for an instant, millions of times used ^|5language slanguage^5| ten times as worse as the ^|5slanguage penmarks^5| used up by your celebrated brother ^|5Shem — excuse me ^|afor not mentioning him not mentioningahem^a|5|?

— Celebrated! Shaun replied^|5,º vigorously rubbing his ^|amagic^a| lantern to a glimmer of fullconsciousness^5|. Notorious I rather would feel inclined in myself in the first place to describe Mr ^|5Shem O'Shem the Draper^5| as should I be called upon to pass my opinion. But I would not like to be so insulting to my own self as to swear for the moment positively as to the ^|5other views of Denmark^5| but let me say my ^|5every^5| belief before my God is that I much doubt ^|5of^5| it. She, the mother, was put up to it by him, the iniquity, that ought to be placed in irons into some ^|5draperyº^5| institution ^|5of the antipopees^5| for ^|5such matters wordsharping only^5| if he could pass the panel doctors for that is well ^|5celebrated celibated before the four ^|adivorce^a| courts ^|aand all the King's wenches^a|5| how he ^|5seen snakes and^5| has consumption on the premises ^|5where he can ^|athink be thinking^a| himself to death^5|. Rot him! Flannelfeet! Homo! ^|5Then putting ^|athe his^a| bedfellow on me!^5| Is he on my keeping or are my? With his ^|5unique hornbook and his^5| prince of the apauper's pride^|5,º blundering ^|aall^a| over the two worlds^5|! ^|5If he waits till I give him a present!^5| He's no ^|5cousin halfcousin^5| of mine. Nor wants to.

— May we petition you, clean Shaun, then, to unravel in your own words to your very humble, we suggested, as to how?

— You may and welcome, Shaun replied^|5, taking at the same time a hearty bite out of the honeycombº of his hat^5|. ^|5Ann wunkum.^5| Sure I thought you knew about that ^|5through thelementaryº channels^5| long ago. Sure that is as ^|5well known commonplease now ^|aand hunkum^a|5| as Nelson his pillar. For two days she kept howling ^|5for noisy priors^5| and bawling ^|5in Shemish^5| and him ^|5like an ambitrickster slooped in his chair ^|apolthronechair polthroonechair^{a|5| |5}narrating engrossing^5| to ^|5to^5| his ganderpan ^|5with his hiccup. what he invented under hicks hyssop.^5| I gave him that ^|5too. toock, imitator!^5| And it was entirely ^|5the theck^5| latter to blame. It was given ^|5me meck^5| to assist at the whole thing ^|5by byck^5| special ^|5chancery^5| licence. As often as I think of that unbloody housewarmer Shem ^|5Skrivener ^|a|bCutting, cutting^{b| |b}his my^b| prose to please his phrase.^a|5| I declare I get the jawache. You know, he's peculiar, that ^|5fellow eggschicker^5|. ^|5Always taking a ham for a violin.^5| He was grey at three. ^|5Fourteen hours they lasted. One ^|atime ^|btimpe tempe^b|a| he wanted to put his ^|abilingual^a| head ^|aintentionally^a| through the Irish ^|aTimes Tames^a|5|. ^|5|aThe inkupot Inkupot^a|! Your pudding is cooked! You're served, damn you!^5|

— But for what, Shaun of grace? ^|5we asked we weakly went on to ask of the gracious one^5|. Vouchsafe to say. You will now, ^|5goodness,^5| won't you?

— For his language, Shaun replied ^|5asº he blessed himself devotionally, with a crossbun^5|, which he put inside his lettruce ^|5invention.^5|

— But you could come near it, we suppose, strong Shaun O', we supposed.

— ^|5No-one could, Shaun replied, Peace, peace! Shaun repliedº in penultimatum.º No-one could,º^5| as I have before said, only you missed my drift, for it's being incendiary. ^|5|aThe lowquacity of him.^a|
{f10, 330}
^|aThe His^a| threestarº monothong! ^|aThe last word in stolentelling! Yes.^{a| |a|b}And what's more,º^b| Rightdown lowbrown ^|brobblement robblemint^b|!^{a| |a|b}Yes.^b| As ^|bI he^b| was ^|bwrithing a riding
{f39, 425}
my^b| ladder. Like you. And as I was pi picking ^|ba his^b| goosybone. Like ^|bye yea^b|. ^|bI tore He store^b| the tail of my shirt. Like yup.^a|5|

— Still in a way^|5, not to flatter you,^5| we fancy you that are so ^|5strikingly^5| brainy and well lettered in yourself could use worse yourself, ingenious Shaun, we still fancied, if only you would take the trouble of so doing it.

— Undoubtedly but that is show, Shaun replied, and by the powers of ^|5war bloody wars^5| I could ^|5do ^|ainvent introvent^a|5| it ^|5(I am convicted of it)^5| any time ever I liked ^|5with the greatest transfusiasm^5| as, you see, ^|5while I can talk better than most^5| it is an open air secret how I am extremely ingenious at the clerking even with my left hand and as easy as ^|5a keg of beer a bottle of the best^5| and my ^|5trifoliom^5| librotto would far exceed what that bogus bolshy of a Shem, my soamheis brother, is conversant with ^|5in audible black and ^|aprint prink^a|5| and one of those fine days ^|5that I mayº cut my throat with my tongue tonight but^5| I will be moved to ^|5do introvent^5| it just like a work of merit, mark my words, that will open your eye for you, ^|5brother boor broather brooher^5|, only for as an immature and a hundred and one other things I would never for anything take so much trouble of so doing. And why so? Because I am altogether a chap too fly and hairy for to do the like of that. And by all I hold sacred I swear to you on my pipe
{f39, 426}
and oath by the awe of Shaun (and that's a hell of a name!) that I will commission to the flames any incendiarist whosoever who would endeavour to set ever a ^|5mother moother^5| of mine on fire. I will ^|5soho. soho!^5|

And big hottempered husky pugiliser such as he was, he all but broke down ^|5on the mooherhead^5|,
{f10, 331}
overpowered by himself ^|5with the love of the tearsilver that he twined through her hair,º^5| for sure he was the soft slob of the world and as innocent as the freshfallen calf. Still he laughed it off with a gulp apologetic. Mind you, that he was in the dumpest of earnest orthough him jawr war hoo hleepy hor halk urthing hurther. Like that only he stopped short and, in looking up ^|5from his timeshackled wrists^5| upon the heavens as they were ^|5and will be not but will be^5| to feel out what age he might find by Charles' Wain his thumbs fell into his fists and over he balanced by the mightyfine weight of his barrel and, as the wisest course he could take, collapsed together and rolled buoyantly backwards in less than a twinkling via Rattigan's corner out of further earshot with his highly curious mode of slipashod motion ^|5with corks andº ^|abubbles staves^a| and more bubbles to his keelrow^5| a fairish and easy way enough behind the times in the direction of MacAuliffe's, the crucethouse, before he was really uprighted.

Well, it is to be regretted that thou art passing hence, able Shaun, from carnal relations and familiar faces, more is the pity, but for all your deeds of goodness you were forever ^|5doing doing,^5| as our humbler classes, whose favourite virtue is humility, can tell^|5,^5| it is hardly we can part you, for you were the walking saint, you were. Musha, be thinking of us ^|5poor twelve o'clockº scholars^5| sometime or other any time you find the time. ^|5And Wisha, be coming back to us one way or the otherº anyhow,º ^|aunread we miss your smile.^a|5|
{f39, 428}
And may the moss of prosperousness gather you rolling home! May foggy dews bediamondise your hooprings! May the fireplug of filiality reinsure your bunghole! May the barleywind behind glow luck to your bathershins! 'Tis well we know you were loth to leave us, winding your hobbledehorn, right royal post, but sure, pulse of our slumber, you will round up some boxing day or other like the good man you are with your pockets turned inside out for fresh remittances, and from that till this in any case may the grass grow quickly under your feet and the daisies trip lightly over your toetops.