O, tell me now about Anna Livia! I want to hear all about Anna Livia. Well you know Anna Livia. Yes ^|aof course^a| I know Anna Livia. Tell me now. Tell me now.
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O tell me all now about Anna Livia. I want to know all about Anna Livia. Well, you know Anna Livia? Yes, of course, I know Anna. Tell me all. Tell me now. You'll die when you hear. Well, you see, when the old chap did what you know. Yes, I know, go on. Or whatever it was ^|athey try to make out^a| he ^|adid tried to do^a| in ^|athe Phoenix^a| park. He's an awful old rep. What was it he did at all? It was ^|aput^a| in the paper what he did. ^|aTime will tell. I know it will^a| O, the old rep! What age is he at all at all? ^|aOr where was he born or how was he found?^{a| |a}Don't you know ^|bhe was born at he's a bairn of the^b| sea, Waterhouse the waterbaby? O, I know, so he was. HCE has blue in his ee.^a| Sure, she's nearly as bad herself. Who? Anna Livia? Yes, Anna Livia. Do you know that she was calling girls into him? She was? Ah, go to God? O, tell me all I want to hear. Letting on she didn't care. Didn't you see her at ^|athe window her windeye^a| playing pretending to play ^|athe grand piano a fiddle she has without a bottom^a|? Sure she can't play the ^|apiano fiddle^a|. Of course she can't, ^|abottom or not,^a| it was all a blind. Well, I never heard the like of that. Tell me more. Tell me all. Well, the old chap was as glum as ^|aanything could be^a|, sitting moping all by himself ^|a|bon his benk ^|cstaring ^|ddreeing his weird^d| keeking on loft^c| up at the sternes^b| his hair combed over his eyes^a| & there was Anna Livia running about as if she was ^|aa girl^a| ten in a short ^|asummer^a| skirt and painted cheeks ^|a& a powdery nose^{a| |a|b}cooking him all sorts ^|cmeddering ^|d& an odd time she medder^d| him up^c| blooms^b| of fisk and eyes to plaise him & as quick as she'd ^|bbring run with^b| them up on ^|bthe her^b| tray the old chap'd cast them from him ^|bif he didn't peg the tea at her^b|a| trying to whistle the ^|arakes Rakes^a| of Mallow and not a ^|abudge mag^a| out of him no more than the wall. Is that a fact? That's a fact. And do you know what she started singing then ^|alike a water gluck^a|? You'll never guess. Tell me. Tell me. I loved you better than you knew ^|a|bsinging & calling^b| to him down the feedchute^|b: Hello ducky, please don't die^b|, ^|band letting on to rave about the old songs ^|cof his long ago from over the holm^c|, High Yay High hellsker saw ladies ^|cdo hen^c| smoke a pigger,^b| the powder pouring off her nose^a|. Ah, go to
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God, is it Anna Livia? As God is my judge. And then she'd ^|ago trot down^a| & stand in the door and every servant girl that ^|apassed went the road^a| she'd make ^|aher^a| a sign to step inside ^|aby the sallyport^a|. You don't say ^|athe sallyport^a|! I ^|ado did^a|! I do! Calling them all & ^|aholding up a half a crown & showing them how to bill & coo and ^|bdancing legging^b| a jig or two to show them how to shake their benders & how to show what's out of sight & ^|ball^b| the way of a maid with a man, cuddle & squiggle & bill & coo, & making a kind of a ^|bcackling^b| noise like half a crown ^|bin silver^b| & holding up a ^|bcoin silver shiner^b|a|. Well, of all the things ever I heard! ^|aTo any girl at all of playful ways ^|bof no matter what sex^b|a| A half a crown ^|ato any girl a go^a| to sit & ^|amake have^a| fun in Humpy's lap!

^|aAnd what about the rhyme she made up. O that! Tell me that. I'm dying down off my feet ^|buntil I hear^b|. How does it go? Well, listen now.^a|

^|a|bBy earth & heaven but^b| I want a ^|bnew brandnew^b| backside badly, bedad ^|band^b| I do, ^|band a ^|cplump one plumper^c| at that^b|a|

^|aFor the ^|bone putty affair^b| I have is worn out ^|bso it is^b| sitting down ^|b|cdoing nothing yawning &^c|b| waiting for ^|bthe old Dansker my old Dane the dodderer ^|cmy ^|dfrugal^d| key of the pantry larder, my hump of the ^|dmuchaltered^d| camel's hump, my jointspoiler, ^|dmy maymoon's honey,^d| my ^|dfaithful ^|+++true fool^+++| to the last^d| Decemberer,^c|b| to wake up ^|bout of his ^|cdumps doze^c|b| & shout ^|b|cat me me down^c|b| like he used to.^a|

^|aIs there any ^|bold chap lord of the manor at all^b| 'd give me a ^|bsoft job ^|cfew pounds pound or two^c|b| I wonder for washing his ^|bshirts socks^b| for him now that we're run out of ^|beverything meat & milk^b|?^a|

^|aOnly ^|bfor^b| my bed is so as warm as it smells it's up I'd ^|bbe leap^b| & off with me to the Bull of Clontarf to get the ^|bkind^b| air of ^|bthe Dublin^b| bay & the ^|brace of the^b| seawind up my hole.^a|

O go on & tell me more. Tell me every ^|asingle thing little bit^a|. I want to know every single thing. Well, now comes the childer's part. How many childer has she at all? ^|aI can't rightly tell you that.^a| God only knows. I hear she has 111 ^|aShe can't remember half their names.^a| A hundred & how? They did well to ^|acall christen^a| her Plurabelle. O my! Such a flock! She must have been a gadabout in her day, so she must. So she was, you bet. Tell me, tell me ^|ahow did she come through ^|ball^b| her fellows^a|, who was the 1st ^|athat ever burst^a|? ^|aThat's a thing I always wish to know.^a| She says herself she ^|anever hardly^a| knew who he was or what he did or when he crossed her. She was a young thin pale slip of a thing then & he was a heavy lurching Curraghman ^|aas strong as ^|ban oak down the oaks there used to be that time^b| in ^|bkilling^b| Kildare^a| that first fell across her. You're wrong there. You're all wrong. It was ages ^|a& miles^a| before ^|athat^a| in the county Wicklow, the garden of Erin, before she ever ^|athought dreamt^a|
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she'd end in ^|athe ^|bbarleyfields &^b| pennylands of^a| Humphreystown & s lie with a landleaper, well on the wane. Was it, was it, ^|aAre you sure?^a| where in Wicklow? Tell me where, the very first time! ^|aI will if you listen^{a| |a}There was a holy hermit You know the glen^a| there near Luggelaw ^|awell once there dwelt^a| one day in ^|aJuly June ^|bin smiling mood^b|a| and so young & shy & ^|aso blank so limber^a| she looked he ^|aput his two hands plunged both of his blessed hands up to his wrists^a| in her flowing hair, that was rich red like the brown bog and he couldn't help ^|ait^a|, thirst was too hot for him, he cooled his lips ^|atime after time again kiss after kiss^a| at Anna Livia's freckled cheek. ^|aO wasn't he the bold priest! O wasn't she the naughty Livia? ^|bNaughtynaughty is her name. Two lads in ^|ctheir^c| breeches went through her before that, ^|c|dJack Barefoot^d| Byrne & Billy Wade,^c| before she had a ^|chint of^c| hair ^|cthere^c| to hide, & ere that again she was licked by a hound when doing her pee, sweet & simple, on the side of a hill in ^|cthe summertime shearing time^c| but first of wall all & worst of all she ran down through a gap when the nurse was asleep & fell ^|cbefore she found her stride^c| & wriggled under a cow.^{b|a| |a}But^a| Why was she freckled? How long was her hair ^|athen^a|? O go on, go on, go on! I mean about what you know. I know ^|awell^a| what you mean. I'm going on. Where did I stop? Don't stop. Go on, go on!

Well after it was put in the papers everywhere ever you went ^|a|band every bungh bung ever you dropped into^b| or wherever you scoured the countryside^a| you found his picture upside down ^|aor the cornerboys burning his guy^a| so she made a plan, the mischiefmaker, the like of it now you never heard. What plan. Tell me quickly! What the mischief did she do? Well, she borrowed a bag, a mailbag, from one of her sons, Shaun the Post, and then she went & made herself up. O, ^|aGod of gigglers,^a| I can't tell you. It's too funny. ^|aO, but you must. You must really. I'd give my chance of going to heaven to hear it all, every word^a| Here, sit down, go easy, be quiet. Tell me slowly. Take
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your time. Breathe deeply. That's the way. Slowlier.

She ^|afirst^a| let her hair ^|aloose fall^a| and down to her heels it flowed and then ^|amothernaked^a| she washed herself from crown to sole with bogwater and mudsoap ^|aand greased her keel with butterscotch ^|band ^|cpainted multiplied^c| beautyspots moles ^|con all her skin all over little mary^c|,^b|a| and then she wove a garland for her hair of and pleated it and plaited it of meadowgrass & riverflags and bulrushes & waterweeds & leaves of weeping willow and then she made her bracelets and her anklets ^|a& her armlets^a| and her necklet ^|aamulet^a| of ^|acobblestones cobbles^a| and pebbles and rich gems & rare ^|agems ones ^|b& rhinestones & watermarbles^b|a|. And then she sent her ^|aboudoir^a| maid to Humphrey with a request that she might leave him for a moment ^|a& said she wouldn't be any length^a| and then with her ^|abag mealiebag^a| upon her shoulder^|a, Anna Livia oysterface,^a| out at last she came.

Describe her! I must hear that. What had she on? What did she carry? Here she ^|ais comes^a|. What has she got? A loin of jubilee mutton.

I'll tell you know now but you must sit still. ^|aWill you ^|bhold your peace^b| listen ^|bwell^b| to what I am going to say?^a| The door of the ^|augly^a| igloo opened outward & out ^|acame stepped^a| a ^|afairy^a| woman the height of your knee. Go away! No more? The height of your knee. She wore ^|aa pair of ploughman's ploughman's ^|bbroadbottom nailstudded^b|a| boots, a sugarloaf hat ^|awith a ^|bsunrise^b| peak of & a band of gorse &^a| with a golden pin ^|athrough it^a|, olwglasses ^|ascreening screened^a| her eyes, a pair of
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potato rings ^|ain her buckled the loose ends of her^a| eares: nude cuba stockings ^|awere^a| salmon ^|aspot^a| speckled: ^|a|band her^b|a| bloodorange knickers ^|awith fancy fastened showed natural^a| nigger bockers: her blackstriped tan joseph was teddybearlined ^|awith a swansdown border^a|: a couple of gaspers stuck in ^|aher^a| hayrope garters: her civvy coat was ^|abelted with zoned by a^a| twobar belting. She had a ^|atight^a| clothespeg astride of her nose so as she & something in her mouth as well & the tail of her ^|aold brown snuffbrown^a| skirt trailed 50 miles behind her on the road