⁽⁴Deisiol Deshil⁴⁾ Holles Eamus. ⁽⁴Deisiol Deshil⁴⁾ Holles Eamus. ⁽⁴Deisiol Deshil⁴⁾ Holles Eamus.

Send us⁽⁴,⁴⁾ bright one, light one, Horhorn, quickening and wombfruit. Send us⁽⁴,⁴⁾ bright one, light one, Horhorn, quickening and wombfruit. Send us⁽⁴,⁴⁾ bright one, light one, Horhorn, quickening and wombfruit.

Hoopsa⁽⁴,⁴⁾ boyaboy⁽⁴,⁴⁾ hoopsa! Hoopsa⁽⁴,⁴⁾ boyaboy⁽⁴,⁴⁾ hoopsa! Hoopsa⁽⁴,⁴⁾ boyaboy⁽⁴,º⁴⁾ hoopsa!º

Universally that person's acumen is esteemed very little perceptive concerning whatsoever matters are being held as most profitably by mortals with sapience endowed to be studied who is ignorant of that which the most in doctrine erudite and certainly by reason of that in them high mind's ornament deserving of veneration constantly maintain when by general consent they affirm that⁽⁴,⁴⁾ other circumstances being equal⁽⁴,⁴⁾ by no exterior splendour is the prosperity of a nation more efficaciously asserted than by the measure of how far forward may have progressed the tribute of its solicitude for that proliferent continuance which of evils the ⁽⁴chief original⁴⁾ if it be absent when fortunately present constitutes the certain sign of omnipollent nature's incorrupted ^|7benediction benefactionº^7|. For who is there who anything of some significance has apprehended but is conscious that ⁽⁴that⁴⁾ exterior splendour may be ⁽⁴the⁴⁾ surface of a downwardtending ⁽⁴and⁴⁾ lutulent reality or on the contrary anyone so is there unilluminatedº as not to perceive that as no nature's boon can contend against the bounty of increase so it behoves every most just citizen to become the ⁽⁴admonisher and exhortator exhortator and admonisher⁴⁾ of his semblables and to tremble lest what had in the past been by the nation excellently commenced might be in the future
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not with similar excellence accomplished if an inverecund habit shall have gradually traduced the honourable by ancestors transmitted customs to that thither of profundity that that one was audacious excessively who would have the hardihood to rise affirming that no more odious offence can for anyone be
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than to oblivious neglect to consign that evangel simultaneously command and promise which on all mortals with prophecy of abundance or with diminution's menace that exalted ⁽⁴function of reiteratedly procreating of reiteratedly procreating function⁴⁾ ever irrevocably enjoined?

It is not why therefore we shall wonder if, as the best historians relate, among the Celts, who nothing that was not in its nature admirable admired,º the art of medicine shall have been highly honoured. Not to speak of hostels, leperyards, sweating chambers, plaguegraves, their greatest doctors, the O'Shiels, the ⁽⁴O'Hickey's O'Hickeys⁴⁾, the O'Lees, have sedulously set down the divers methods by which the sick and the relapsed found again health whether the malady had been the trembling withering or loose boyconnell flux. Certainly in every public work which in it anything of gravity contains preparation should be with importance commensurate and therefore a plan was by them adopted (whether by ⁽⁴preconsideration having preconsidered⁴⁾ or as the maturation of experience it is difficult in being said which the discrepant opinions of subsequent inquirers are not up to the present congrued to render manifest) whereby maternity was so far from all accident possibility removed that whatever care the patient in that allhardest of woman hour chiefly required and not solely for the copiously opulent but also for her who not being sufficiently moneyed scarcely and ⁽⁴often⁴⁾ not even scarcely could subsist valiantly and for an inconsiderable emolument was provided.

To her nothing already then and thenceforward was anyway able to be molestful for this chiefly felt all citizens except with proliferent mothers prosperity at all not to can be and as they had received eternity gods mortals generation to befit them her beholding, when the case was so ⁽⁴hoving having⁴⁾ itself, parturient in vehicle thereward carrying desire immense among all one another was impelling on of her to be received into that domicile. O thing of prudent nation not merely in being seen
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but also even in being related worthy of being praised that they her by anticipation went seeing mother, that she by them suddenly to be about to be cherished had been begun she felt!

Before born babe bliss had. Within womb won he worship. Whatever in that one case done commodiously done was. A couch by midwives attended with wholesome food reposeful⁽⁴,⁴⁾ cleanest swaddles as though forthbringing were now done and by wise foresight set: but to this no less ⁽⁴also⁴⁾ of what drugs there is need and surgical implements which are pertaining to her case not omitting aspect of all very distracting spectacles in various latitudes by our terrestrial orb offered together with images, divine and human, the cogitation of which by
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sejunct females is to tumescence conducive or eases issue in the high sunbright wellbuilt fair home of mothers when, ostensibly far gone and reproductitiveº, it is come by her thereto to lie in, her term up.

Some man that wayfaring was stood by housedoor at night's oncoming. Of Israel's folk was that man that on earth wandering far had fared. Stark ruth of man his errand that him loneº led ⁽⁴to till⁴⁾ that house.

Of that house A. Horne is lord. Seventy beds keeps he thereº teeming mothers are wont that they lie for to thole and bring forth bairns hale ⁽⁴as so⁴⁾ God's angel to Mary quoth. Watchers tweyº there walk, white sisters in ward sleepless. Smarts they still,º sickness soothing: in twelve moons thrice an hundred. Truest bedthanes they twain are, for Horne holding wariest ward.

In ward wary the watcher hearing come that man mildhearted eft rising with swire ywimpled to him her gate wide undid. Lo, levin leaping lightens in eyeblink Ireland's westward welkin⁽⁴.!⁴⁾ Full she ⁽⁴drad dreadº⁴⁾ that God the Wreaker all mankind would fordo with water for his evil sins. Christ's rood made she on breastbone and him drew that he would rathe infare under her thatch. That man her will wotting worthful went in Horne's house.

Loth to irk in Horne's hall hat holding the seeker stood. On her stow he ere was living with dear wife and lovesome daughter that then over land and seafloor nine years had long outwandered. Once her in townhithe meeting he to her bow had not doffed. Her to forgive now
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he craved with good ground of her allowed⁽⁴,⁴⁾ that that of him swiftseen face, hers, so young then had looked. Light swift her eyes kindled, bloom of blushes his word winning.

As her eyes then ongot his weeds swart ⁽⁴for that therefor⁴⁾ sorrow she feared. Glad after she was that ere adread was. Her he asked if O'Hare Doctor ⁽⁴from far coast tidings sent tidings sent from far coast⁴⁾ and she with grameful sigh him answered that O'Hare Doctor in heaven was. ⁽⁴Sorry Sad⁴⁾ was the man that word to hear that him so heavied in bowels ruthful. All she there told him⁽⁴,º⁴⁾ ruing death for ⁽⁴so young man friend so young^|5,^5|4) algate sore unwilling God's rightwiseness to withsay. She said that he had a fair sweet death through God His goodness with masspriest to be shriven, holy housel and sick men's oil to his limbs. The man then right earnest asked the nun of which death the ⁽⁴deadº⁴⁾ man was died and the nun answered him and said that he was died ⁽⁴through bellycrab in Mona Island in Mona island through bellycrab⁴⁾ three year agone come ^|6Yule Childermas^6| and she prayed to God ⁽⁴the⁴⁾ Allruthful to have his dear soul in his undeathliness. He heard her sad words⁽⁴,º⁴⁾ in held hat⁽⁴,⁴⁾ sad staring. So stood they there both awhile in wanhope⁽⁴,⁴⁾ sorrowing one with other.

Therefore, everyman, look to that last end ⁽⁴which thatº⁴⁾ is thy death and the dust
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that gripeth on every man that is born of woman for as he came naked forth ^|7of fromº^7| his ⁽⁴woman's mother'sº⁴⁾ womb so naked shall he wend him at the last for to go as he came.

The man that was come ⁽⁴in to intoº⁴⁾ the house then spoke to the nursingwoman and he asked her how it fared with the woman that lay there in childbed. The nursingwoman answered him and said that that woman was in throes now full three days and that it would be a hard birth unneth to bear but that now in a little it would be. She said thereto that she had seen many births of women but never was none so hard as was that woman's birth. Then she set it ⁽⁴all forth forth allº⁴⁾ to him ⁽⁴for because she knew the man⁴⁾ that time was had lived ⁽⁴near her nigh thatº⁴⁾ house. The man hearkened to her words for he felt with wonder women's woe in the travail that they have of motherhood and he wondered to look on her face that was a ⁽⁴fair youngº⁴⁾ face for any man to see but yet was she left after long years a handmaid. Nine twelve bloodflows chiding her childless.

And whiles they spake the door of the castle was opened and there
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nighed them ⁽⁴near⁴⁾ a mickle noise as of many that sat there at meat. And there came against the place as they stood a young learning knight yclept Dixon. And the traveller Leopold was couth to him sithen it had happed that they had had ado each with other in the house of misericordº where this learning knight lay by cause the traveller Leopold came there to be healed for he was sore wounded in his breast by a spear wherewith a horrible and dreadful dragon was smitten him for which he did do make a salve of volatile salt and ⁽⁴oil chrism⁴⁾ as much as he might suffice. And he said now ⁽⁴thatº⁴⁾ he should go into ⁽⁴the that⁴⁾ castle for to make merry with them ⁽⁴that were there⁴⁾. And the traveller Leopold said ⁽⁴that⁴⁾ he should go ⁽⁴other whither otherwhither⁴⁾ for he was a man of cautels and a subtileº. Also the lady was of his avis and reprevedº the learning knight though she trowed well that the traveller had said thing that was false for his subtility. But the ⁽⁴learningknight learning knight⁴⁾ would not hear say nay nor do her mandement ne have him in aught contrarious to his list and he said how it was a marvellous castle. And the traveller Leopold went into the castle ⁽⁴for⁴⁾ to rest ⁽⁴him⁴⁾ for a space being sore of limb after many marches ⁽⁴in divers lands⁴⁾ environing ⁽⁴in divers lands⁴⁾ and sometimeº venery.

And in the castle was set a board that was of the birchwood of Finlandy and it was upheld by four dwarfmen of that country but they durst not move more for enchantment. And on this board were frightful swords and knives that are made in a great cavern by swinking demons out of white flames that they fix ⁽⁴then⁴⁾ in the horns of buffalos and stags that there abound marvellously. And there were vessels that are wrought by magic ^|6of Mahound^6| out of seasand and the
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air by a warlock with his breath that he ⁽⁴blases blaresº⁴⁾ intoº them like ⁽⁴bubbleware to bubbles⁴⁾. And full fair cheer and rich was on the board that no wight could devise a fuller ne richer⁽⁴.⁴⁾ And there was a vat of silver that was moved by craft to open in ⁽⁴the⁴⁾ which lay strange fishes withouten heads though misbelieving men nie that this be possible thingº without they see it ⁽⁴yet⁴⁾ natheless they are so. And ⁽⁴they these fishes⁴⁾ lie in an oily water brought ⁽⁴there⁴⁾ from Portugal land because of the fatness that therein is ⁽⁴which is like the liquor like to the juices⁴⁾ of the ⁽⁴olivepress olive press⁴⁾. And also it was a marvel to see in that castle how by magic they make a compost out of fecund ⁽⁴wheatkidneys wheat kidneys^{4) (4}out⁴⁾ of Chaldee ⁽⁴which, that⁴⁾
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by aid of certain angry ⁽⁴juices spirits⁴⁾ that they do ⁽⁴in to into⁴⁾ it swells up wondrously like ⁽⁴to⁴⁾ a vast mountainº. And they teach the serpents there to entwine themselves up on long sticks out of the ground and of the scales of these serpents they brew out a brewage like to mead.

⁽⁴⇒⁴⁾ And the ⁽⁴learningknight learning knight⁴⁾ let pour for ^|6the traveller childe Leopold^6| a draught and halp thereto the while all they that were there drank every each. And ^|6the traveller childe^6| Leopold did up his ^|5vizor beaver^5| for to pleasure him and took apertly somewhat in amity for he never drank no manner of mead ^|7which he then put by^7| and anon full privily he voided the more part in his neighbour glass and his neighbour nist not of ⁽⁴this his⁴⁾ wile. And he sat down in ⁽⁴the that⁴⁾ castle with them ⁽⁴for⁴⁾ to rest ⁽⁴him there⁴⁾ awhile. Thanked be Almighty God.

This meanwhile this good sister stood by the door and begged them at the reverence of Jesu our alther liege Lordº to leave their wassailing for there was above one quick with child,º a gentle dame, whose time hied fast. Sir Leopold heard ⁽⁴in on⁴⁾ the upfloor cry on high and he wondered what cry that it was whether of child or woman and I marvel, said he, ⁽⁴that⁴⁾ it be not come or now. Meseems it dureth overlong. And he was ware and saw a franklin that hight Lenehan on that side the table that was older than any of the tother and for that they ⁽⁴both⁴⁾ were knights virtuousº in the one emprise and eke by cause that he was elder he spoke to him fullyº gently. But, said he, or it be long too she will bring forth by God His bounty and have joy ^|8of her childing^8| for she hath waited marvellous long. And the franklin that had drunken said, Expecting each moment to be her next. Also he took the cup that stood tofore him for him needed never none asking nor desiring of him to drink and^|5,^5| Now drink, said he, fully delectably⁽⁴,⁴⁾ and he quaffed as far as he might to their both's health for he was a passing good man of his lustiness. And sir Leopold that was the goodliest guest that ever sat in scholars' hall and that was the meekest man and the kindest that ever laid husbandly hand under hen and that was the very ⁽⁴gentlest^{4) |7}truest^7| knight ⁽⁴of the world one⁴⁾ that ever did minion
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service to lady gentle pledged him courtly in the cup. Woman's woe with wonder pondering.

Now let us speak of that fellowship that was there to the intent
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to be drunken an they might. There was a sort of scholars along either side the board, that is to wit, Dixon yclept junior ⁽⁴of saint Mary Merciable's⁴⁾ with other his fellows Lynch and Madden, scholars of medicine⁽⁴,⁴⁾ and the franklin that hight Lenehan and one from Alba Longa, one Crotthers, and young Stephen⁽⁴,⁴⁾ that had mien of a frere that was at head of the board and Costello that men clepen Punch Costello all long of a mastery of him erewhile gested (and of all them⁽⁴,⁴⁾ reserved young Stephen⁽⁴,⁴⁾ he was the most drunken that demanded still of more mead) and beside the meek sir Leopold. But on young Malachi they waited for that he promised to have come and such as intended to no goodness said how he had broke his avow. And sir Leopold sat with them for he bore fast friendship to sir Simon and to this his son young Stephen and for that his languorº becalmed him there after longest wanderings insomuch as they feasted him for that time in the honourablest manner. Ruth red him, love led on with will to wander,º lothº to leave.

For they were right witty scholars. And he heard their aresouns each gen other as touching birth and righteousness, young Madden maintaining that put such case it were hard the wife to die (for so it had fallen out a matter of some year agone with a woman of Eblana in Horne's house that now was trespassed out of this world and the self night next before her death all leeches and pothecaries had taken counsel of her case⁽⁴)⁴⁾. And they said farther she should live because in the beginning⁽⁴,⁴⁾ they said⁽⁴,⁴⁾ theº woman should bring forth in pain and wherefore they that were of this imagination affirmed how young Madden had said truth for he had conscience to let her die. And not few and of these was young Lynch were in doubt that the world was now right evil governed as it was never other howbeit the mean people believed it otherwise but the law nor his judges did provide no remedy. ^|8A redress God grant.^8| This was scant said but all cried with one acclaim ^|6nay, by our Virgin Mother,^6| the wife should live and the babe to die. ^|6And In colour whereof^6| they waxed hot upon that head what with argument and what for their drinking but the franklin Lenehan was prompt ^|7each when^7| to pour them ale so that at the least way mirth
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might not lack. Then young Madden showed all the whole affair ⁽⁴and when he⁴⁾ said how that she was dead and how for holy religion sake^|7|11,^11| by rede of palmer and bedesman, and for a vow he had made to Saint Ultan of Ardbraccanº ^|11,^11|7| her goodman husband would not let her death whereby they were all wondrous grieved. To whom young Stephen
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had these words following⁽⁴:,⁴⁾ Murmur⁽⁴,⁴⁾ sirs, is eke oft among lay folk. Both babe and ⁽⁴mother parent⁴⁾ now glorify ⁽⁴Our their⁴⁾ Maker, the one in limbo gloom, the other in ⁽⁴purgefire purge fire⁴⁾. But^|7, gramercy,^7| what of those Godpossibled souls that we ⁽⁴daily nightly⁴⁾ impossibilise^|7, which is the sin against the Holy Ghost, Very God, Lord and Giver of Life^7|(4.?⁴⁾ For⁽⁴,⁴⁾ sirs, he said, our lust is brief. We are means to those small creatures within us and nature has other ends than we. Then said Dixon junior to Punch Costello wist he what ends. But he had overmuch drunken and the best word he could have of him was that he would ever dishonest a woman whoso she were or wife or maid or leman if ⁽⁴so be it it so⁴⁾ fortuned him to be delivered of his spleen of lustihead. Whereat Crotthers of Alba Longa sang young Malachi's praise of that beast the unicorn how once in the ⁽⁴millenium millennium⁴⁾ he cometh by his horn the other all this while⁽⁴,⁴⁾ pricked forward with their jibes wherewith they did malice him, witnessing all and several by saint ⁽⁴Bastard ^|6Cuculus Foutinus^6|4) his engines that he was able ⁽⁴by grace of his privities⁴⁾ to do any manner of thing that lay in man to do. Thereat laughed they all right jocundly only young Stephen and sir Leopold which never durst laugh too open by reason of a strange humour which he would not bewray and also for that he rued for her that bare whoso she might be or wheresoever. Then spakeº young Stephen orgulous of mother ⁽⁴church Church⁴⁾ that would cast him ⁽⁴from out of⁴⁾ her bosom, of law of canons, ^|8of Lilith, patron of abortions,^8| of bigness wrought by wind of seeds of brightness or by potency of vampires mouth to mouth or, as Virgiliusº saith, by the influence of the occident or ^|7by the reek of moonflower or an she but lie with a woman which her man has but lain with, effectu secuto, ^|8or^8|7| peradventure in her bath according to the ⁽⁴opinion opinions⁴⁾ of Averroes and Moses Maimonides. He said also how at the end of the second month a human ⁽⁴souls soul⁴⁾ was infused and how in all our ⁽⁴heavenly holy⁴⁾ mother foldeth ⁽⁴every ever⁴⁾ souls for God's greater glory whereas that earthly mother which was but a dam to ⁽⁴bear bring forthº⁴⁾
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beastly should die by canon for so saith he that holdeth the fisherman's seal⁽⁴,⁴⁾ even that blessed Peter on which rock was holy church for all ages founded. All they bachelors then asked of sir Leopold would he in like case so jeopard her person as ⁽⁴take risk⁴⁾ life to save life. A wariness of mind he would answer as fitted all and, laying hand to jaw, he said dissembling^|6, as his wont was,^6| that as it was informed him^|6, who had ever loved the art of physic as might a layman,^6| and agreeing also with his experience of so ⁽⁵seldomseen seldom seenº⁵⁾ an accident it was good for that motherº Church belike at one blow had birth and death pence ⁽⁴and in such sort deliverly he scaped their questions⁴⁾. That is truth, ^|6pardy,^6| said Dixon, and, or I err, a pregnant word. ⁽⁴In such sort deliverly he scaped their questions.⁴⁾ Which hearing young Stephen was a marvellous glad man and he averred that ⁽⁴heº⁴⁾ who stealeth from the poor lendeth
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to the Lord for he was of a wild manner when he was drunken and that he was now in that taking it appeared eftsoons.

But sir Leopold was passing grave maugre his word by cause he still had pity of the terrorcausing shrieking of shrill women in their labour and as he was minded of his good lady Marion that had borne him an only manchild which on his eleventh day on live ⁽⁴had diedº⁴⁾ and no man of art could save so dark is destiny. And she was wondrous stricken of heart for that evil hap and ⁽⁴to for⁴⁾ his burial⁽⁴, sore weeping,⁴⁾ did him on a fair corselet of lamb's wool, the flower of the flock⁽⁴,⁴⁾ lest he might perish utterly and lie akeled (for it was ⁽⁴that time then⁴⁾ about the midst of the winter) and now sir Leopold that had of his body no manchild for an heir looked upon him his friend's son⁽⁴,⁴⁾ and was shut up in sorrow for his forepassed happiness and as sad as he was that him failed a son of such gentle courage (for all accounted him of real parts) so grieved he also in no less measure for young Stephen for that he lived riotously with those wastrels and murdered his goods with whores.

About that present time young Stephen filled all cups that stood empty so as ⁽⁴then thereº⁴⁾ remained but little mo if the prudenter had not shadowed their approach from him that still plied it very busily who, praying for the intentions of the sovereign pontiff, he gave them for a pledge the vicar of Christ which also⁽⁴,⁴⁾ as he said⁽⁴, is⁴⁾ vicar of Bray. Now drink we, quod he, of this mazer and quaff ⁽⁴we ye⁴⁾ this mead which is not
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indeed parcel of my body but my soul's bodiment. Leave ye fraction of bread to them that live by bread alone. Be not afeard neither for any ⁽⁴pain want⁴⁾ for this will ⁽⁴more⁴⁾ comfort ⁽⁴more⁴⁾ than the other will dismay. See ye here. And he showed them glistering coins of the tribute and ⁽⁴goldsmith goldsmiths'º⁴⁾ notes the worth of two pound nineteen shilling⁽⁴,⁴⁾ that he had, he said,º for a song which he writ. They all admired to see the foresaid riches in such dearth of money as was herebefore. His words were then these as followeth: Know all men, he said, time's ruins build eternity's mansions. What means this? Desire's wind blasts the thorntree ⁽⁴and but⁴⁾ after it becomes from a bramblebushº to be a rose ⁽⁴on upon⁴⁾ the rood of time. Mark me now. In woman's womb word is made flesh but in the spirit of the maker all flesh that passes becomes the word that shall not pass away. This is the postcreation. Omnis caro ad te veniet. No question but her name is puissant who aventried the dear corse of our Agenbuyer, Healer and Herd, our mighty mother and mother most venerable and Bernardus saith aptly that ⁽⁴She sheº⁴⁾ hath an ⁽⁴omnipotentia omnipotentiam⁴⁾ deiparae ⁽⁴supplex supplicem⁴⁾, that is to wit, an almightiness of petition because she is the second Eveº ⁽⁴that and she⁴⁾ won us, saith Augustine too, whereas that other, our grandam, which we are linked
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up with by successive anastomosis of navelcords sold us all,º ^|6lock, stock and barrel seed, breed and generation^6|,º for a penny pippin. But here is the matter now. Or she knew him, that second I say, and was but creature of her creature, vergine madre figlia di tuo figlio,º or she knew him not and then stands she in the one denial or ⁽⁴ignorance ignorancy⁴⁾ with Peter Piscator who lives in the house that Jack built and with Joseph the ⁽⁴joiner Joinerº⁴⁾ patron of the happy demise of all unhappy marriages⁽⁴,^{4) (4}parceque M. Léo Taxil nous a dit que qui l'avait mise dans cette fichue position c'était ce sacré pigéon, ventre de Dieu! parcequeº M. Léoº Taxil nous a dit que qui l'avait mise dans cette fichue position c'était le sacré pigeon, ventre de Dieu!^{4) (4}Entweder Entweder⁴⁾ transubstantialityº ⁽⁴oder oder⁴⁾ consubstantiality but in no case subsubstantiality. ⁽⁴All cried And all cried out⁴⁾ upon it for a very scurvy word. A pregnancy without joy, he said, a birth without pangs, a body without blemish, a belly without bigness. Let the lewd with faith and fervour worship. With will will we ⁽⁴withsay, withstand withstand, withsay⁴⁾.

Hereupon Punch Costello dinged with his fist upon the board and
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would sing a bawdy catch Staboo Stabella about a wench that was put in pod of a jolly swashbuckler in Almany which he did ⁽⁴straightways⁴⁾ &sh14009emnow attack:

⁽⁴—⇒⁴⁾ The first three months she was not well, Stabooº,

when here nurse Quigley from the door angerly bid them hist ye should shame you nor was it not meet as she remembered them being her mind was to have all orderly against lord Andrew came ^|6as for because^6| she was jealous that no ^|6gasteful^6| turmoil might shorten the honour of her guard. It was an ancient and a sad matron of a sedate look and ⁽⁴a Christian christian⁴⁾ walking, in habit dun beseeming her megrims and wrinkled visage, nor did her hortative want of it effect for incontinently Punch Costello was of them all embraided and they reclaimed ^|8him the churl^{8| (4}withº⁴⁾ civil rudeness some and ⁽⁴shaked him⁴⁾ with menace of blandishments others whiles ⁽⁴they⁴⁾ all chode with him, a murrain seize the dolt, what a devil he would be at, thou chuff, thou puny, thou got in ⁽⁴the⁴⁾ peasestraw,º ^|6thou losel,^6| thou chitterling, ^|6thou spawn of a rebel,^6| thou dykedropt, thou abortion thou, to shut up his drunken drool out of that like a curse of God ape, the good sir Leopold that had for his cognisance the flower of quiet, margerain gentle, advising also the time's occasion as most sacred and most worthy to be most sacred. In Horne's house rest should reign.

To be short this passage was scarce by when Master Dixon of ^|11Mary's Mary^{11| (4}in Eccles⁴⁾, ⁽⁴gently goodly⁴⁾ grinning, asked young Stephen what was the reason why he had not cided to take friar's vows and he answered him obedience in the womb, chastity in the tomb but involuntary poverty all his days. Master Lenehan at this made return that he had heard of those nefarious deeds and how, as he heard hereof counted, he had besmirched the lily virtue of a confiding female which was corruption of minors and they all intershowed it too, waxing merry
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and toasting ⁽⁴to⁴⁾ his fathership. But he said very entirely it was clean contrary to their suppose for he was the eternal son and ever virgin. Thereat mirth grew in them the more and they rehearsed to him his curious rite of wedlock for the disrobing and deflowering of spouses, ^|7as the priests use in Madagascar island,^7| she to be in guise of white and saffron, her groom
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in white and grain, with burning of ⁽⁴nards nard⁴⁾ and tapers, on a bridebed while clerks sung kyries and the anthem Ut novetur sexus omnis corporis mysterium till she was there unmaided. He gave them then a much admirable hymen minim by those delicate poets Master John Fletcher and Master Francis Beaumont that is in their Maid's Tragedy that was writ for a like twining of lovers: To bed, to bedº was the burden of it to be played with accompanable concent upon the virginals. ^|7An exquisite dulcet epithalame of most mollificative suadency for juveniles amatory whom the odoriferous flambeaus of the paranymphs have escorted to the quadrupedal proscenium of connubial communion.^7| Well met they were, said Master Dixon, ^|8joyed,^{8| (4}by but⁴⁾, harkee, ^|8young sir,^8| better were they named Beau Mount and Lecher for, by my troth, of such a mingling much might come. Young Stephen said indeed to his best remembrance they had but the one doxy between them and she of the stews to make shift with in delights amorous for life ran very high in those days and the custom of the country approved with it. Greater love than this, he said, no man hath that a man lay down his wife for his friend. Go thou and do likewise. Thus, or words to that effect, ⁽⁴spake saith⁴⁾ Zarathustra, sometime regius professor of French letters to the university of Oxtail nor breathed there ever that man to whom mankind was more beholden. Bring a stranger within thy tower it will go hard but thou ⁽⁴hast wilt have⁴⁾ the secondbest bed. ⁽⁴Orate, fratres, pro memetipso. Orate, fratres, pro memetipso.⁴⁾ And all the people shall say, Amen. Remember, Erin, thy generations and thy days of old, how thou settedst ⁽⁴like little⁴⁾ by ⁽⁴Me me⁴⁾ and ⁽⁴by⁴⁾ my word⁽⁴,⁴⁾ and broughtedstº in a stranger to my gates to commit fornication in my sight and to wax fat and kick like Jeshurum. Therefore hast thou sinned against ⁽⁴my theº⁴⁾ light and hast made me, thy lord,º to be the slave of servants. Return, return, Clan Milly⁽⁴!: forget me not, O Milesian.⁴⁾ Why hast thou done this abomination before me that thou didst spurn me for a merchant of ^|11jalap jalaps^11| and didst deny me to the Roman and toº the Indian of dark speech with whom thy daughters did ⁽⁴commit adultery lie luxuriously⁴⁾? Look forth now, my people, upon the land of behest, even from Horeb ⁽⁴and from Nebo⁴⁾ and from Pisgah and from the Horns of Hatten unto a land flowing with milk and money. But thou hast ⁽⁴filled my soul with bitterness suckled me with a
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bitter milk:^{4) (4}and thou hast taken from me the sun and the moon my moon and my sun thou hast quenched for ever⁴⁾. And ⁽⁴I am left thou hast left me alone for ever⁴⁾ in ⁽⁴the⁴⁾ dark ways⁽⁴, a solitary, of my bitterness:⁴⁾ and with ⁽⁴bitter a kiss of⁴⁾ ashes
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hast thou kissed my mouth. This tenebrosity of the interior, he proceeded to say, hath not been illumined by the wit of the septuagint nor ^|11as so^11| much as mentioned for the Orient from on high ⁽⁴Who Whichº⁴⁾ brake hell's gates visited a darkness ⁽⁴which that⁴⁾ was foraneous. Assuefaction minorates atrocities ^|6(as Tully saith of his darling Stoics)^6| and Hamlet his father showeth the prince no blister of combustion. The adiaphane in the noon of life is an Egypt's plague which in the nights of prenativity and postmortemity is their most proper ⁽⁴ubi ubi⁴⁾ and ⁽⁴quomodo quomodo⁴⁾. And as the ends and ⁽⁴finalities ultimates⁴⁾ of all things accordsº in some mean and measure with their inceptions and originals, that same multiplicit concordance which leads forth growth from birth accomplishing by a retrogressive metamorphosis that minishing and ablation towards the final which is agreeable unto nature so is it with our ⁽⁴subsolar⁴⁾ being. The aged sisters draw us into life: we wail, batten, sport, ^|11slip clip^11|, clasp, ⁽⁴sudder sunderº⁴⁾, dwindle, die: over us dead they bend. First⁽⁴,⁴⁾ saved from ⁽⁴waters water⁴⁾ of old Nile, among bulrushes, a bed of fasciated wattles: at last ⁽⁴a the⁴⁾ cavity of a mountain, ⁽⁴occulted, an occulted sepulchre⁴⁾ amid the conclamation of the hillcat and the ossifrage. And as no man knows the ubicity of his tumulus nor to what processes we shall thereby be ushered nor whether to Tophet or to Edenville in the like way is all hidden when we would backward see from what region of remoteness the whatness of our whoness hath fetched his whenceness.º

Thereto Punch Costello roared out mainly^|8,^{8| |6}Etienne, chanson, ^(errEtienne Étienneº^err) chanson^6| but he loudly bid them⁽⁴,⁴⁾ lo, wisdom hath built herself a house, this vast majestic ^|8longstablished^8| vault, the crystal palace of the Creator⁽⁴,⁴⁾ all in applepie order, a penny for him ⁽⁴as who⁴⁾ finds the pea.

⁽⁴—⇒^{4) (4}Behold the mansion reared by dedal Jack Behold the mansion reared by dedal Jack,^4)
(4See the malt stored in many a refluent sack See the malt stored in many a refluent sack,^4)
(4In the proud cirque of In the proud cirque of^{4) (4}Ivan's ^|6Ivan's Jackjohn's^{6|4) (4}bivouac bivouac⁴⁾.

A black crack of noise in the street here, alack, bawledº back. Loud on left Thor thundered: in anger awful^(4|8,^8|4) the hammerhurler. ^|8Came now the
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storm that hist his heart.^8| And Master Lynch bade him have a care to ^|8flout and^8| witwanton as the god self was angered for his hellprate and paganry. And he that had erst challenged to be so doughty waxed ⁽⁴wan pale⁴⁾º as they might all mark and shrank together and his pitch that was before so haught uplift was now of a sudden quite plucked down and his heart shook within the cage of his breast as he tasted the rumour of that storm. Then did some mock and some jeer and Punch Costello fell hard again to his yale which Master
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Lenehan vowed he would do after and he was indeed but a word and a blow on any the least colour. But the braggart boaster cried that an old Nobodaddy was in his cups it was muchwhat indifferent and he would not lag behind his lead. But this was only to dye his desperation as cowed he crouched in Horne's hall. He drank indeed at one draught to pluck up a heart of any grace for it thundered long rumblingly over all the heavens so that Master Madden, being godly certain whiles, knocked him on his ribs ^|6upon that crack of doom^6| and Master Bloom, at the braggart'sº side,º spoke to him calming words to slumber his great fear, advertising how it was no other thing but a hubbub noise that he heard, the discharge of fluid ^|6from the thunderhead^6|, look you, having taken place⁽⁴,⁴⁾ and all of the order of a natural phenomenon.

But was young Boasthard's fear vanquished by Calmer's words? No, for heº had in his bosom ⁽⁴that gnawing rat Wretchedness a spike named Bitterness⁴⁾ which could not by words be done away. And was he then neither calm like the one nor godly like the other? He was neither as much as he would have liked to be either. But could he not have endeavoured to have found again as in his youth ⁽⁴the⁴⁾ the bottle ⁽⁴piety Holiness⁴⁾ that then he lived withal? Indeed noº for Grace was not there to ⁽⁴give it find that bottle⁴⁾. Heard he then in that clap the voice of the god⁽⁴,⁴⁾ Bringforth⁽⁴,⁴⁾ or, what Calmer said, a hubbub of Phenomenon? Heard? Why⁽⁴,⁴⁾ heº could not but hear unless he had plugged himº up the tube Understanding (which he had not done). For through that tube he saw that he was in the land of Phenomenon where he must for a certain one day die as he was like the rest too a passing show. And would he not accept to die like the rest and pass away? By no means would he ^|11though he must nor would he and^11|º make more shows according as
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men do with wives which Phenomenon has commanded them to do by the book Law. Then wotted he nought of that other land which is called ⁽⁴Believe on Me Believe-on-Me,⁴⁾ that is the land of promise which behoves to the king Delightful and shall be for ever where there is no death and no birth neither wiving nor mothering at which all shall come as many as believe on it? Yes, Pious had told him of that land and Chaste had pointed him to the way but the reason was that in the way he fell in with a ^|11certain^11| whore of an eyepleasing exterior whose name, she said, is Bird-in-the-Hand and she beguiled him wrongways from the true path by her flatteries ⁽⁴that she said⁴⁾ to him as⁽⁴,⁴⁾ Ho, you pretty man⁽⁴. Turn, turn⁴⁾ aside hither and I will show you a brave place, and she lay at him so flatteringly that she had him in her grot ⁽⁴of shame⁴⁾ which is named ⁽⁴Two in the Bush Two-in-the-Bush⁴⁾ or, by some learned ⁽⁴men also⁴⁾, Carnal Concupiscence.

This was it what all that company that sat there at commons in Manse of Mothers the most lusted after and if they met with this whore ⁽⁴Bird in the Hand Bird-in-the-Hand⁴⁾
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(which was within all foul plagues, monsters and a wicked devil) they would strain the last but they would make at her and know her. For regarding ⁽⁴Believe on Me Believe-on-Me⁴⁾ they said it was nought else but notion and they could conceive no thought of it for, first, ⁽⁴Two in the Bush Two-in-the-Bush⁴⁾ whither she ticed them was ⁽⁴in the⁴⁾ very goodliest grot and in it were four pillows on which ⁽⁴was written were four tickets with these wordsº printed on them,^{4) (4}Dalliance and Loth to Brood and Chamber Delights and Harlotry Pickaback and Topsyturvy and Shameface and Cheek by Jowl⁴⁾ and, second, for that foul plague Allpox and the monsters they cared not for them for Preservative had given them a stout shield of oxengut and, third, that they might take no hurt neither from Offspring that was that wicked devil by virtue of this same shield which was named Killchild. So were they all in their blind fancy, Mr ⁽⁴Sometimes Godly Cavil⁴⁾ and Mr ⁽⁴Cavil Sometimes Godly⁴⁾, Mr Ape Swillale, Mr False Franklin, Mr Dainty Dixon, Young Boasthard and Mr Cautious Calmer. Wherein, O wretched company,º were ye all deceived for that was the voice of the god that was in a very grievous rage that he would presently lift his arm ⁽⁴up⁴⁾ and spill their souls for their abuses and their spillings done by them contrariwise to his word which forth to bring brenningly biddeth.
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So Thursday sixteenth June Patk. Dignam laid in clay of an apoplexy and after hard drought, please God, rained, a bargeman coming in by water a fifty mile or thereabout with turf saying the seed won't sproutº, fields athirst, very sadcoloured and stunk mightily, the quags and tofts too. Hard to breathe and all the young quicks clean consumed without sprinkle this long while back as no man remembered to be without. The rosy buds all gone brown and spread out blobs and on the hills nought but dry flag and faggots that would catch at first fire. All the world saying, for aught they knew, the big wind of last February ^|11a year^11| that did havoc the land so pitifully a small thing beside this barrenness. But by and by, as said⁽⁴,⁴⁾ this evening after sundown⁽⁴,⁴⁾ the wind sitting in the west, biggish swollen clouds to be seen as the night increased and the weatherwise poring up at them and some sheet lightnings at first and after, past ten of the clock, one great stroke with a long thunder and in a brace of shakes all ⁽⁴running scamper⁴⁾ pellmell within door for the smoking shower, the men making shelter for their straws with a clout or kerchief, womenfolk skipping off with kirtles catched up soon as the pour came. In Ely place, Baggot street, Duke's lawn⁽⁴,⁴⁾ thence through Merrion green up to Holles street a swash of water ⁽⁴flowing running⁴⁾ that was before ⁽⁴bone dry bonedry^{4) |7}and not one chair ^|8or coach^8| or fiacre seen about^7| but no more ⁽⁴cracks crack⁴⁾ after that first. Over against the Rt. Hon. Mr⁽⁴.⁴⁾ Justice Fitzgibbon's door (that is to sit with Mr Healy⁽⁴,⁴⁾ the lawyer⁽⁴,⁴⁾ upon the college lands) Mal. Mulligan ^|6a gentleman's gentleman^{6| |7}that had but come from
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Mr Moore's the writer's (that was a ^|9papist papish^9| but is now, folk say, a good Williamite)^7| chanced against ⁽⁴Al. Alec.⁴⁾ Bannon ^|6(in a cut bob (which are now in with dance cloaks of Kendal green)^6| that was new got to town from Mullingar with the stage ^|7where his coz and Mal M's brother will stay a month yet till Saint Swithin^7| and asks what in the earth he does there, he bound home and he to Andrew Horne's being stayed for⁽⁴,^{4) |7}to crush a cup of wine, so he said,^7| but would tell him of a skittish heifer, big of her age ^|6and beef to the heel^6|,º ^|8and all this while poured with rain^8| and so both together on to Horne's. There Leop. Bloom of Crawford's journal sitting snug with a covey of wags, likely brangling fellows, Dixon jun.,º scholar of my
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lady of ⁽⁴Mercy's Mercy⁴⁾, Vin. Lynch, a Scots fellow, Will. Madden, T. Lenehan, very sad ⁽⁴about a racer for a racinghorse⁴⁾ he fancied and Stephen D. Leop. Bloom there for a languorº he had but was now better, he having dreamed tonight a strange fancy of his dame Mrs Moll with red slippers on in a pair of ⁽⁴Turkish Turkey⁴⁾ trunks which is thought by those in ken to be for ⁽⁴an omen of a⁴⁾ change ⁽⁴& and⁴⁾ Mistress Purefoy there, that got in through pleading her belly, and now on the stools, poor body, two days past her term, the midwives sore put to itº and can't deliver, she ^|8crazed queasy^8| for a ^|6bowl ^|9bason bowl^9|6| of riceslop that is a shrewd drier up of the insides ^|7and her breath very heavy more than good^7| and should be a ^|5bullyboy ^|6boy bullyboy^{6|5| (4}by from⁴⁾ the knocks,º they say, but God give her soon issue. 'Tis her ninth chick to ⁽⁴life live⁴⁾, ⁽⁴as⁴⁾ I hear, and Lady day bit off her ^|6last's last chick's^6| nails that was then a ⁽⁴12 month twelvemonth^{4) |7}and with other three all breastfed ^|athat died^a| written out in a fair hand in the king's bible^{7| (4}and her hub,. Her hub⁴⁾ fifty odd⁽⁴, and⁴⁾ a methodist⁽⁴,⁴⁾ but ^|6takes the sacramentº and^6| is ⁽⁴out in a punt to be seen⁴⁾ any ⁽⁴faire fair⁴⁾ sabbath with ⁽⁴two a pair of his⁴⁾ boys ⁽⁴under off⁴⁾ Bullock ⁽⁴point harbour^{4) |6}dapping on the sound ^|7with a heavybraked reel or^{7|6| (4}in a punt he has⁴⁾ trailing for ⁽⁴flounders or pollocks flounder and pollock ^|6and ^|7makes catches^7| a ^|agood fine^a| bag, I hear^6|4). In sum ⁽⁴a anº⁴⁾ infinite great fall of rain and all refreshed and will much increase the harvest yet ^|6some believe those in ken say^6| after wind and water fire shall come for a prognostication of Malachi's almanac ^|7(and I hear that Mr Russell has done a ^|11prophecy prophetical charm^11| of the same ^|11kind ^|asense gist^a|11| out of the Hindustanish for his farmer's gazette)^7| to have three things in all but this a mere fetch ⁽⁴with out withoutº⁴⁾ bottom of reason for old crones and bairns yet sometimes they are found in the right guess with their queerities no telling how.

With this came up Lenehan to the ^|6hither end feet^6| of the table to say how the letter was in that night's gazette and he made a show to find it about him (for he swore with an oath that he had ⁽⁴peen beenº⁴⁾ at pains about it) but on Stephen's persuasion he gave over ^|5to theº^5| search and was bidden to sit near by which he did mighty brisk. He was a kind of sport gentleman that went for a merryandrew
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or honest pickle and what belonged of women, horseflesh or ⁽⁴new hot⁴⁾ scandal ⁽⁴in the town⁴⁾ he ⁽⁴knew (had) had⁴⁾ it pat. To tell the truth he was mean in fortunes and for the most part hankered about the ⁽⁴coffehouses coffeehousesº⁴⁾ and low taverns with crimps, ostlers, bookies^|7,^{7| |6}Paul's men,
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runners,^{6| |9}flatcaps,^{9| |7}waistcoateers, ladies of the bagnio⁽⁸,^8)7| and other rogues of the game or with a chanceable catchpole ^|6or a tipstaff^6|(4,⁴⁾ often at nights till broad day⁽⁴,⁴⁾ of whom he picked up ^|6between his sackpossets^{6| (4}much⁴⁾ loose gossip. He took his ordinary at a boilingcook's and if he had but gotten ⁽⁴into him⁴⁾ a mess of broken victuals or a ^|6dish platter^6| of tripes ⁽⁴into him⁴⁾ with a bare tester in his purse he could always bring himself off with his tongue, some randy quip he had from a punk or whatnot that every mother's son of them would burst their sides. The other, Costello⁽⁴,⁴⁾ that is, hearing this talk asked was it poetry or a tale. Faith, no, he says, Frank (that was his name),º 'tis all about Kerry cows that are to be butchered along of the plague. But they can go hang, says he with a wink, for me with their bully beef, a pox on it. There's as good fish in this tin as ever came out of it and very friendly he offered to take of some salty sprats that stood by which he had eyed wishly in the meantime and found the place which was indeed the chief design of his embassy as he was sharpset. Mort aux ⁽⁴Vaches vaches⁴⁾, says Frank then in the French language that had been indentured to a ^|6wine and^{6| (4}brandyshipper brandy shipper^{4) |6}that has a winelodge^6| in Bordeaux ⁽⁴and was back now with naked pockets⁴⁾ and he spoke French like a gentleman too. From a child this Frank had been a donought that his father, a headborough, ^|6who could ill keep him to school, to learn his letters and the use of the globes,^6| matriculated at the university to study the mechanics but he took the bit between his teethº like a raw colt and was more familiar with the justiciary and the parish beadle than with his volumes. One time he would be a playactor⁽⁴,⁴⁾ then a sutler ⁽⁴then or⁴⁾ a welsher⁽⁴,^{4) |9}then he was nought would keep him from the bearpit and the cocking main,^9| then he was for the ocean sea or to footº it on the roads with the ⁽⁴romany Romany⁴⁾ folk, ^|6kidnapping a squire's heir by favour of moonlight or^6| fecking maids' linen or choking ⁽⁴chicken chickensº⁴⁾ behind a hedge. ^|6He had been off ^|8a hundred times as many times as a cat has lives^8| and back again with naked pockets as many more to his father the headborough who shed a pint of tears as often as he saw him.^6| What, says Mr Leopold⁽⁴,⁴⁾ with his hands across, that was earnest to know the drift of it, will they slaughter all? I protest I saw them but this day morning going to the Liverpool ⁽⁴boat boats⁴⁾, says he. I can scarce believe 'tis so bad, says he. And he had experience of
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the like brood beasts and of springers, greasy hoggets⁽⁴,⁴⁾ and wether ⁽⁴wool wools^(err,º¹²⁾⁴⁾ having been ⁽⁴at one time some years before⁴⁾ actuary for Mr Joseph Cuffe, a worthy salesmaster that drove his trade for live stock and meadow auctions hard by Mr Gavin Low's yard in Prussia street. I question with you there, says he. More
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like 'tis the hoose or the timber tongue. Mr Stephen, a little moved but very handsomely⁽⁴,⁴⁾ told him no such matter and that he had dispatches from the emperor's chief tailtickler⁽⁴, (Doctor Rinderpest),⁴⁾ thanking him for the hospitality⁽⁴,⁴⁾ that was sending over ⁽⁴(Doctor R. (v.s)) Doctor Rinderpest,⁴⁾ the bestquoted cowcatcher in all Muscovy^(err,º^err) with a bolus or two of physic to take the bull by the horns. Come, come, says Mr Vincent, plain dealing. He'll find himself on the horns of a dilemma if he meddles with a bull that's Irish, says he. Irish by name and irish by nature, says Mr Stephen, and he sent the ale purling ⁽⁴about, an about. Anº⁴⁾ Irish bull in an English chinashop. I conceive you, says Mr Dixon. It is that same bull that was sent to our island by farmer Nicholas⁽⁴,⁴⁾ the bravest ⁽⁴cattlebreeder cattle breeder⁴⁾ of them all^(err,º^err) with an emerald ring in his nose. True for you, says Mr Vincent cross the table, and a bullseye into the bargain, says he, and a plumper and a portlier bull, says he, never shit on shamrock. He had horns galore, a coat of clothº of gold and a sweet smoky breath coming out of his nostrils so that the women of our island, leaving doughballs and rollingpins, followed after him hanging his bulliness in daisychains. What for that, says Mr Dixon, but before he came over farmer Nicholas that was a eunuch had him properly gelded by ⁽⁴seven a college of⁴⁾ doctors ⁽⁴that who⁴⁾ were no better off than himself. So be off now, says he, and do all my cousin german the lordº Harry tells youº and take a farmer's blessing, and with that he slapped his posteriors very soundly. But the slap and the blessing stood him friend, says Mr Vincent, for to make upº he taught him a trick worth two of the other so that maid, wife, abbess and widow to this day affirm that they would rather any time of the month whisper in his ear in the dark of a cowhouse or get a lick on the nape from his ⁽⁴long⁴⁾ holy tongue than lie with the finest strapping young ravisher in the four fields of all Ireland. Another then put in his word: And they dressed him, says he,º in a point shift and petticoat with a tippet ⁽⁴and girdle⁴⁾ and ruffles ⁽⁴on his
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wrists⁴⁾ and clipped his ⁽⁴forelocks forelock⁴⁾ and rubbed him all over with spermacetic oil and built stables for him at every turn of the road with a gold manger in each full of the best hay in the market so that he ⁽⁴could⁴⁾ doss and dung to his heart's content. By this time the father of the faithful (for so they called himº) was ⁽⁴grown⁴⁾ so heavy that he could scarce walk to pasture. To remedy which our ^|6cozening^6| dames and damsels brought him his fodder in their apronlaps and as soon as his belly was full⁽⁴,⁴⁾ he ⁽⁴used to would⁴⁾ rear up on his hind quarters to show their ladyships a mystery and roar and bellow out of him in ⁽⁴bull's bulls'⁴⁾ language and they all after him. Ay, says another, and so pampered was he that he would ⁽⁴have suffer⁴⁾ nought to grow in all the land but green grass for himself (for that was the only colour to his mind) and there was a board put up on a hillock in the middle of the
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island with a printed notice, saying: By the ⁽⁴Lord lord⁴⁾ Harry⁽⁴,^{4) (4}Green green⁴⁾ is the grass that grows on the ground. And, says Mr Dixon, if ever he got scent of a cattleraider in ^|6Sligo Roscommon or the wilds of Connemara^6| or a husbandman ^|6in Sligo^6| that was sowing as much as a handful of mustard or a bag of rapeseed out he'dº run amok over half the countryside rooting up with his horns ⁽⁴what whateverº⁴⁾ was planted and all by lord Harry's orders. There was bad blood between them at ⁽⁴one time first⁴⁾,º says Mr Vincent, and the lord Harry called farmer Nicholas all the old Nicks in the world and an old whoremaster that kept seven trulls in his house and ^|6I'll meddle in his matters, says he.^6| I'll make that animal smell hell, says he, with the help of that good pizzle my father left me. But one evening, says Mr Dixon, when the lord Harry was cleaning his royal pelt to go to dinner after winning a boatrace (he had spade oars for himself but the first rule of the course was that the others were to row with pitchforks) he discovered in himself a wonderful likeness to a bull and on picking up a blackthumbed chapbook that he kept in the pantry he found sure enough that he was a lefthanded descendant of the famous champion bull of the Romans, ^|5Bos Bovum Bos Bovum^5|, which is good bog Latin for ⁽⁴Boss boss⁴⁾ of the ⁽⁴Show show⁴⁾. After that, says Mr Vincent, the lord Harry put his head into a cow's ⁽⁴drinking trough drinkingtrough⁴⁾ in the presence of all ⁽⁴the his⁴⁾ courtiers and ⁽⁴taking pulling⁴⁾ itº out again told them all his new name. ⁽⁴then Then⁴⁾, with the water running off him, he got into an old smock and skirt that
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had belonged to his grandmother and ⁽⁴got bought⁴⁾ a grammar of the ⁽⁴bull's bulls'⁴⁾ language to study but he could never learn aº word of it except the first personal pronoun which he copied out big ⁽⁴and got off by heart⁴⁾ and if ⁽⁴ever⁴⁾ he went out for a ⁽⁴stroll walk⁴⁾ he filled his ⁽⁴skirt⁴⁾ pockets with chalk to write it ⁽⁴upon up on⁴⁾ what took his fancy, the side of aº rock or a teahouse table or a bale of cotton or a corkfloat. In short⁽⁴,⁴⁾ he and the bull of Ireland were soon as fast friends as an arse and a shirt. They were, says Mr Stephen, and the end was that the men of the island⁽⁴,⁴⁾ seeing no help was toward⁽⁴,⁴⁾ as the ungrate women were all of one mind, made a wherry raft, loaded themselves and their bundles of chattels on shipboard, set all masts erect, ^|6manned the yards,^6| sprang their luff, ⁽⁴heaved to, spread three sheets in the wind,^{4) (4}set put⁴⁾ her head ⁽⁴on⁴⁾ between wind and water, ⁽⁴let the bullgine run weighed anchor, ported her helm⁴⁾, ran up the jolly Roger ⁽⁴weighed her anchor and, gave three times three ^|7and,^7| let the bullgine run^|8,^{8| |7}and^7|4) pushed off ^|6in their bumboat^{6| |7}and put to sea^7| to recover the main of America. Which was the occasion, says Mr Vincent, of the composing by a boatswain of that rollicking chanty:

— Pope Peter's but a pissabed.
A man's a man for a' that.

Our worthy acquaintance⁽⁴,⁴⁾ Mr Malachi Mulligan⁽⁴,⁴⁾ now appeared in the
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doorway as the students were finishing their apologue accompanied with a friend ⁽⁴of his⁴⁾ whom he had just rencountered, a young gentleman, his name ^(4|6Ambrose Alec^6|4) Bannon⁽⁴,⁴⁾ who had late come to town, it being his intention to buy a colour or a cornetcy in the fencibles and list for the wars. Mr Mulligan was civil enough to express some relish of it ⁽⁴and⁴⁾ all the more as it jumped with a project of his own for the cure of the very evil that had been touched on. Whereat he handed round to the company a set of pasteboard cards which he had had printed that day at ⁽⁴blank Mr Quinnell's⁴⁾ bearing a legend printed in fair italics: ⁽⁴Mr Malachi Mulligan. Fertiliser Mr Malachi Mulligan,º Fertiliser^{4) (4}and and^{4) (4}Incubator. Incubator,º^{4) (4}Lambay Island. Lambay Island.⁴⁾ His project, as he went on to expound, was to withdraw from the round of idle pleasures such as form the chief business of sir Fopling Popinjay and sir Milksop Quidnunc in town and to devote himself to the noblest task for which our bodily organism has been framed. Well, let us hear of it, good my friend, said Mr Dixon. ^|8I make no doubt it smacks of wenching.^8| Come, be
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seated, both. 'Tis as cheap sitting as standing. Mr Mulligan accepted of the invitation and, expatiatingº ⁽⁴upon on⁴⁾ his design, told his hearers that he had been led into this thought by a consideration of the causes of sterility, both the inhibitory and the prohibitory, whether the inhibition in its turn were due to conjugal vexations or to ⁽⁴a⁴⁾ parsimony ⁽⁴of the balance⁴⁾ as well as whether the prohibition proceeded from defects congenital or from proclivitiesº acquired. It grieved him plaguily, he said, to see the nuptial couch defrauded of its dearest pledges: and to reflect upon so many agreeable females with rich jointures, a prey ⁽⁴to for⁴⁾ the vilest bonzes, who hide their flambeau under a bushel in anº uncongenial cloister or lose their womanly bloom in the embraces of some unaccountable muskin when they might multiply the inlets of happiness, sacrificing the inestimable jewel of their sex when a hundred pretty fellows were at hand to caress, this, he assured them, made his heart weep. To ⁽⁴meet curb⁴⁾ this inconvenientº (which he concluded due to a suppression of latent heat)^(err,º^err) having advised with certain counsellors of worth^|7|8, having and^8| inspected into this matter,^7| he had resolved to purchase in fee simple for ever the freehold of Lambay island from its ⁽⁴owner holder^|11,^{11|4) (11}count Anthony Considine lord Talbot de Malahide¹¹⁾, a ⁽¹¹Tory¹¹⁾ gentleman of note much in favour with our ⁽¹¹high church ascendancy¹¹⁾ party. He proposed to set up there a national fertilising farm to be named ^|5Omphalos Omphalos^{5| |10}with an obelisk hewn and erected after the fashion of Egypt^10| and to offer his dutiful yeoman services for the fecundation of any female of what grade of life soever who should there direct to him with the desire of fulfilling the functions of her natural. Money was no object, he said, nor would he take a penny for his pains⁽⁴:.⁴⁾ The poorest kitchenwench no less than the opulent lady of fashion, if so be their constructions and their tempers
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were warm persuaders for their petitions, would find in him their man. For his ⁽⁴nourishment nutriment^4)|11,^11| he ^|6said, shewed how^6| he would feed himself exclusively ⁽⁴on the upon a diet of savoury tubercles and⁴⁾ fish and coneys there, the flesh of these latter prolific rodents ⁽⁴having been being⁴⁾ highly recommended for his purpose, both broiled and stewed with a blade ⁽⁴or two⁴⁾ of mace ⁽⁴or a paprick nut and a pod or two of capsicum chillies⁴⁾. After this homily which he delivered with much warmth of asseveration Mr Mulligan in a trice put off from his hat a kerchief with
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which he had shielded it. They both, it seems, had been overtaken by the rain and for all their mending ⁽⁴of⁴⁾ their pace had taken water⁽⁴,⁴⁾ as might be observed by Mr Mulligan's smallclothes of ⁽⁴aº⁴⁾ hodden grey which was now somewhat piebald. His project meanwhile was very favourably entertained by his auditors and won hearty eulogies from all though Mr Dixon of Mary's excepted to it, asking with a finicking air did he purpose also to carry coals to Newcastle. Mr Mulligan however made court to the scholarly by an apt quotation from the classics which, as it dwelt upon his memory,º seemed to him a sound and ^|11cogent tasteful^11| support of his contention: ⁽⁴Talis ac tanta depravatio huius seculi, O quirites, ut Talis ac tanta depravatio hujus seculi, O quirites, ut^{4) (4}matresfamiliarum matresfamiliarumº^{4) (4}nostrae lascivas semiviri libici cuiuslibet titillationes testibus ponderosis atque excelsis erectionibus centurionum Romanorum magnopere anteponunt nostrae lascivas cujuslibet semiviri libici titillationes testibus ponderosis atque excelsis erectionibus centurionum Romanorum magnopere anteponunt^(err:º¹²⁾⁴⁾ while for those of ruder wit he drove home his point by analogies of the animal kingdom more suitable to their ⁽⁴relish stomach⁴⁾, the buck and doe of the forest glade, the farmyard drake and duck.

Valuing himself not a little upon his elegance, being indeed a proper man of ⁽⁴hisº⁴⁾ person⁽⁴,^{4) |6}he this talkative^6| now applied himself to his dress with animadversions of some heat upon the sudden ^|6shower whimsy of the atmospherics^6| while the company lavished their encomiums upon the project he had advanced. The young gentleman, his friend, overjoyed as he was at a passage that had ⁽⁴late⁴⁾ befallen him⁽⁴,⁴⁾ could not forbear to tell it his nearest neighbour. Mr Mulligan, now perceiving the table, asked for whom were those loaves and fishes and, seeing the strangerº, he made him a civil bow and said, Pray, sir, was you in need of any professional assistance we could give? Who, upon his offer, thanked him very heartily, though preserving his proper distance, and replied that he was come there about a lady, now an inmate of Horne's house⁽⁴,⁴⁾ that was in an interesting condition, poor bodyº, from woman's woe (and here he fetched a deep sigh) to know if her happiness had yet taken place. Mr Dixon, to turn the table, took on to ask ofº Mr Mulligan himself whether his incipient ventripotence, upon which he rallied him, betokened an ovoblastic gestation in the prostatic utricle or male womb or was due⁽⁴,⁴⁾ as with the noted physician, Mr ⁽⁴⁽¹¹Pugin Austin¹¹⁾⁴⁾ Meldon, to
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a wolf in the stomach. For answer Mr Mulligan^|7, in a gale of laughter at his
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smalls,^7| smote himself bravely below the diaphragm, exclaiming with an admirable droll mimic of Mother Grogan (the most excellent creature of her sex though 'tis pity she's a trollop): There's a belly that never bore a bastard. This was so happy a conceit that it renewed the ⁽⁴storm storms⁴⁾ of mirth and threw the whole room into the most violent agitations of delight. ^|6He The ^|amerry spry^a| rattle^6| had run on in the same vein of mimicry but for some larum in the antechamber.

Here the listener who was none other than the Scotch student, a little fume of a fellow, blond as ⁽⁴a blank tow⁴⁾, congratulated in the liveliest fashion with the young gentleman and, interrupting the narrative at a salient point, having desired his visavis with a polite beck to have the obligingness to pass him a flagon of cordial waters at the same time by a questioning poise of the head (a whole century of polite breedingº had not achieved so nice a gesture) to which was united an equivalent but contrary balance of the bottleº asked the narrator as plainly as was ever done in words if he might treat him with a cup of it. Mais bien ⁽¹¹sur sûr¹¹⁾, ^|6noble stranger,^6| said he cheerily^|7, et mille compliments^7|. That you may and very opportunely. There wanted nothing but this cup to crown my felicity. But^|6, gracious heaven,^6| was I left with but a crust in my wallet and ⁽⁴aº⁴⁾ cupful of water from the well, my God, I would accept of them and find it in my heart to kneel down upon the ground and give thanks to the powers above for the happiness vouchsafed me ^|7by the Giver of good things^7|. With these words he approached the goblet to his lips⁽⁴,⁴⁾ took a complacent draught of the cordial, slicked his hair and, opening his bosom, out popped a locket that hung from a silk riband,º that very picture which he had cherished ever since her hand had wrote therein. Gazing upon those features with a world of tenderness, Ah, Monsieur, he said, had you but beheld her ^|7as I did with these eyes^7| at that affecting instant with her dainty tucker and her ⁽⁴new⁴⁾ coquette cap (a gift for her ^|9feastday feast dayº^9| as she told me ⁽⁴prettily⁴⁾) in such an artless disorder, of so melting a tenderness, ^|6'pon my conscience,^6| even you, Monsieur, had been impelled by generous nature to deliver yourself wholly into the hands of such an enemy or to quit the field for ever.
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I declare, I was never so touched in all my life. ^|6God,º I thank thee,º as the ^|8author Author^8| of my days!^6| Thrice happy will he be whom ^|6that so^6| amiable ^|6a^6| creature will bless with her favours. A sigh of affection gave eloquence to these words and, having replaced the locket in his bosom, he wiped his eye and sighed again. Beneficent ^|8disseminator Disseminator^8| of blessings to all ⁽⁴thy Thy⁴⁾ creatures, how great andº universal must be that sweetest of ⁽⁴thy Thy⁴⁾ tyrannies which can hold in thrall the free and the bond, the simple swain and the polished coxcomb, the lover in the heyday of reckless ⁽⁴fashion passionº⁴⁾ and the husband of maturer years. But
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^|6indeed, sir,^6| I wander from the point. How mingled and imperfect are all our sublunary joys.º Maledicity! ⁽⁴he exclaimed in anguish.⁴⁾ Would to God that foresight had ⁽⁴but⁴⁾ remembered me to take my cloak along⁽⁴.!º⁴⁾ I could weep to think of it. Then, though it had poured seven showers,º we were neither of us a penny the worse. But beshrew me, he cried, clapping hand to his forehead, tomorrow will be a new day and^|6, thousand thunders,^6| I know of a ⁽⁴vendeur marchand⁴⁾ de capotes⁽⁴,⁴⁾ Monsieur Poyntz⁽⁴,⁴⁾ from whom I can have for a ^|10livre livre^10| as ⁽⁴pretty snug⁴⁾ a cloak ^|7of the French fashion^7| as ever kept a lady from wetting. Tut, ^|6tut!^6| cries Le ⁽⁶Fecondateur Fécondateur⁶⁾, tripping in, my friend Monsieur Moore⁽⁴,º⁴⁾ that most accomplished traveller (I have just cracked a ^|8half^8| bottle ^|7with him avec lui^7| in a circle of the best wits of the town)^(err,º^err) is my authority that in Cape Horn^|7, ventre ^|10gris biche^10|,^7| they have a rain that will wet through any, even the stoutest cloak. A drenching of that violence, he tells me, ^|7sans blague,º^7| has sent more than one luckless fellow in good earnest posthaste to another world. Pooh! A ^|10livre! livre!º^10| cries Monsieur Lynch. The clumsy things are dear at a sou. ⁽⁴A single sunshade One umbrella⁴⁾, were it no bigger than a fairy mushroom, is worth ten such stopgaps. No woman of any wit would wear one. My dear Kitty told me today that she would dance in a deluge before ever she would starve in such an ark of salvation for, as she reminded me⁽⁴,⁴⁾ (blushing piquantly ⁽⁴as she whispered and whispering⁴⁾ in my ear though there was none to ⁽⁴catch snap⁴⁾ her words but giddy butterflies)^(err,º^err) dame Nature^|6, by the divine blessing,^6| has implanted it in our heartsº and it has become a household word that il y a deux choses for which the innocence of our original garb, in other circumstances a breach of the proprieties, is the fittest, nay,º the only garment. The first, said she
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(and here my pretty philosopher, ^|6as I handed her to her ^|8coach tilbury^8|,^6| to fix my attention, gently tipped with her tongue the outer ⁽⁴pavilion chamber⁴⁾ of my ear)^(err,º^err) the first is a ⁽⁴bath — But bath … but⁴⁾ at this point a bell tinkling in the hall cut short a discourse which promised so bravely for the enrichment of our store of knowledge.

Amid the general vacant hilarity of the assembly a bell rang and⁽⁴,⁴⁾ while all were conjecturing what might be the cause⁽⁴,⁴⁾ Miss Callan ⁽⁴came in entered⁴⁾ and, having spoken a few words in a low tone to young Mr Dixon, retired with a profound bow to the company. The presence even for a moment among a party of debauchees of a woman endued with every quality of modesty and not less severe than beautiful refrained the ⁽⁴humour humorousº⁴⁾ sallies even of the most licentious but her departure was the signal for an outbreak of ribaldry. Strike me silly, said Costello, a low fellow who was fuddled.º ^|6She' A monstrous fine bit of cowflesh!^{6| |6}I believe I'll be sworn^6| she has rendezvoused you. What, you dog? Have you a way with them? Gad's bud. Immenselyº so, said Mr Lynch. The bedside manner it
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is that they use in the Mater hospice. ⁽⁴Demme, does not Doctor O'Gargle chuck the nuns there under the chin.⁴⁾ As I look to be saved⁽⁴, continued he,⁴⁾ I had it from my Kitty who has been wardmaid there any time these seven months. ⁽⁴Demme, does not doctor O'Gargle chuck the nuns there under the chin.⁴⁾ Lawksamercy, doctor, cried the young blood in the primrose vest, feigning a womanish simper and withº immodest squirmings of his body, how you do tease a body⁽⁴?!^{4) |6}Drat the man!^6| Bless me, I'm all of a ⁽⁴wibbly wobbly wibblywobbly.⁴⁾ Why, you're as bad as dear little ⁽⁴father Fatherº⁴⁾ Cantekissem,º that you are! May this pot of ^|6ale four half^6| choke me, cried Costello, if she ain'tº in the family way. I knows a lady what's got a white swelling quick as I claps eyes on her. The young surgeon, however, rose and begged the company to excuse his retreat as the nurse had just then informed him that he was needed in the ward. Merciful providence had been pleased to put a period to the sufferings of the lady who was ⁽⁴enceinte enceinte⁴⁾ which she had borne with a laudable fortitude and she had given birth to a bouncing boy. I want patience, said he, with those who,º without wit to enliven or learning to instruct, revile an ennobling profession which^|6, saving the reverence due to the Deity,^6| is ^|6a the greatest^6| power for happiness upon the earth.
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I am positive when I say that⁽⁴,⁴⁾ if need were⁽⁴,⁴⁾ I could produce a cloud of witnesses to the excellence of her noble exercitations which, so far from being a byword, should be a glorious incentive ^|6in the human breast^6|. ^|6I cannot away with ^|7them.^7|6| What? Malign such an one^|7, the amiable Miss Callan,^7| who is the lustre of her own sex and the astonishment of ours⁽⁴? And and⁴⁾ at an instant the most momentous that can befallº a puny child of clay? ^|6Perish the thought!^6| I shudder to think of the future of a race where the seeds of ⁽⁴much suchº⁴⁾ malice have been sown and where no right reverence is rendered to mother and maid in house of Horne. Having delivered himself of this rebuke he saluted those present on the by and repaired to the door. A murmur of approval arose from all and some were for ejecting the low soaker without more ado, a design which would have been effected ^|8nor would he have received more than his bare deserts^8| had he not abridged his transgression by affirming with a horrid imprecation (for he swore a round hand) that he was as good a son of the true fold as ever drew breath. Stap my vitals, said he, them was always the sentiments of honest Frank Costello which I was bred up most particular to honour thy father and thy mother ⁽⁴by poor dear mamma⁴⁾ that had the best hand to a rolypoly or a hasty pudding as you ever see what I always looks back on with a loving heart.

To revert to Mr Bloom who, after his first entry^(err,º^err) had been conscious of some impudent mocks which he⁽⁴,⁴⁾ however⁽⁴,º⁴⁾ had borneº with asº being the fruits of that age upon which it is commonly charged that it knows not pity. The young
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sparks, it is true, were as full of extravagancies ⁽⁴are asº⁴⁾ overgrown children: ⁽⁴The the⁴⁾ words of their tumultuary discussions were difficultly understood and not often nice: their testiness and outrageous ⁽⁴mots mots⁴⁾ were such that his intellects resiled from: nor were they scrupulouslyº sensible of the proprieties though their fund of strong animal spirits spoke in their behalf. But the word of Mr Costello was ⁽⁴anº⁴⁾ unwelcome language for him for he nauseated the wretch that seemed to him a cropeared creature of a misshapen gibbosity^|6, born out of wedlock and^6| thrust like a crookback toothedº and feet first into the world^|6, ^|aas which^a| the dint of the surgeon's pliers in his ^(errskill skullº^err) lent indeed a colour to,^6| so as ⁽⁴to it⁴⁾ put him in ⁽⁴mind⁴⁾ thought of that missing link of creation's
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chain desiderated by the late ingenious Mr Darwin. It was now for more than the middle span of our allotted years that he had passed through the thousand vicissitudes of existence and, being of a wary ascendancy and self a man of ⁽⁴a⁴⁾ rare forecast, he had enjoined his heart to repress all motions of a rising choler and, by intercepting them with the readiest precaution, foster within his breast that plenitude of sufferance which base minds jeer at, ⁽⁴the⁴⁾ rash judgers scorn and all find tolerable and but tolerable. To those who create themselves wits at the cost of feminine delicacy ^|6(a habit of mind which heº never did hold with)^6| to them he would concede neither to bear the name nor to herit the tradition of a proper breeding: while for such that, having lost all forbearance,º can lose no more⁽⁴,º⁴⁾ there remained the sharp antidote of experience to cause their insolency to beat a precipitate ⁽⁴& and⁴⁾ inglorious retreat. Not but what he could feel with mettlesome youth which, caring nought for the mows of dotards or the gruntlings of the severe, is ever ^|6(yo as the chaste fancy of the ^|10Sacred Holy^10| Writer aptly expresses it)^6| for eating of the tree forbid it yet not so far forth as to pretermit humanity upon any condition soever ⁽⁴toward towardsº⁴⁾ a gentlewoman when she was about her lawful occasions. To conclude, while from the sister's words he had reckoned upon a speedy delivery he was, however, it must be owned, not a little alleviated by the intelligence that the issue so auspicatedº after ⁽⁴a trial an ordeal⁴⁾ of such duress now testified once more to the mercy as well as to the bounty of the Supreme Being.

Accordingly he broke his mind to his neighbour⁽⁴,⁴⁾ saying that, to express his notion of the thing, his opinion (who ought not perchance to express one) was that one must have a cold constitution and a frigid genius not to be rejoiced by this freshest news of the fruition of her confinement since she had been in such pain through no fault of hers. The dressy young blade said it was her husband's that put her in that expectation or at least it ought to be unless she were another Ephesian matron. I must acquaint you, said Mr Crotthers,
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clapping on the table so as to evoke a resonant comment of emphasis, old Glory ⁽⁴Allelujurum ^|10Alelujerum Allelujerum^10|4) was round ⁽⁴today again again today⁴⁾, an elderly ⁽⁴meagre⁴⁾ man with ⁽⁴side whiskers ^|6sidewhiskers dundrearies^6|4), preferring through his nose a request to have word of Wilhelmina, my life, as he
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calls her. I bade him hold himself in readiness for that the event would burst anon. 'Slife, ^|6I'll be round with you.^6| I cannot but extol the virile potency of the old bucko that could still knock another child outº of her. All fell to praising of it, each after his ⁽⁴own⁴⁾ fashion, though the same young blade held with his former view that another than her conjugial ⁽⁴was had been⁴⁾ the man in the gap, a clerk in orders^|6, a linkboy (virtuous)^6| or an itinerant vendor of articles needed in every household. Singular, ^|6muttered communed^6| the guest ^|6to with^6| himself, the wonderfully unequal faculty of metempsychosis possessed by them, that the puerperal ⁽⁴chamber dormitory⁴⁾ and the dissecting theatre should be the seminaries of such frivolity, that the mere acquisition of academic titles should suffice to transform in a pinch of time these votaries of levity into exemplary practitioners of an art which most men anywise eminent have esteemed the noblest. But, he further added, it is mayhap to relieve the pentup feelings that in common oppress them for I have more than once observed that birds of a feather laugh together.

But with what fitness, let it be asked^|8,º of the noble lord, his patron,^8| has this alien, whom the concession of a gracious prince has admitted to civicº rights, constituted himself the lord paramount of our ⁽⁴domestic internal⁴⁾ polity? Where is now that gratitude which loyalty should have counselled? During the recent war whenever the enemy had a temporary advantage with ^|8their his^8| granados did ^|8he this traitor to his kind^8| not seize that moment to discharge his piece against the empire ⁽⁴in of⁴⁾ which he is a tenant at will while he trembled for the security of his four per cents? Has he forgotten this as he forgets ⁽⁴all⁴⁾ benefits received? Or is it that from being a deluder of others he has become at last his own dupe as he is, if report belie him not, his own and his only enjoyer? Far be it from candour to violate the bedchamber of a respectable lady, the daughter of a gallant major, or to cast the most distant reflections upon her virtue but if he challenges attention there (as it was indeed highly his interest not to have done) then be it so. Unhappy woman,º she has been too long and too persistently denied her legitimate prerogative to listen to his objurgations with any other feeling than the derision of the desperate. He says this, a censor of morals, a very pelican in his
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piety⁽⁴,⁴⁾ who did not scruple, oblivious of the ties of nature, to attempt illicit intercourse with a female domestic drawn from the lowest strata of society! Nay, had the hussy's ⁽⁴scouring brush scouringbrush⁴⁾ not been her tutelary angel⁽⁴,⁴⁾ it had gone with her as hard as with
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Hagar, the Egyptian⁽⁴?!⁴⁾ In the question of the grazing lands his peevish asperity is notorious and in Mr Cuffe's hearing brought upon him from an indignant rancher a scathing retort couched in terms as straightforwardº as they were bucolic. It ill becomes him to preach that gospel. Has he not nearer home a seedfield that lies fallow for the want of ⁽⁴the a⁴⁾ ploughshare? A habit reprehensible at puberty is second nature and an opprobriumº in middle life. If he must dispense his balm of Gilead ^|10in nostrums and apothegms of dubious taste^10| to restore to health a generation of unfledged profligates let his practice consist better with the doctrines that now engross him. His marital breast is the repository of secrets which decorum is reluctant to adduce. The lewd suggestions of some faded beauty may console him for a consort⁽⁴,⁴⁾ neglected and debauched⁽⁴,⁴⁾ but this new exponent of morals and healer of ills is at his best an exotic tree which, when rooted in its native orient, throve and flourished and was abundant in balm but, transplanted to a clime more temperate, its roots have lost their quondam vigour while the stuff that comes away from it is stagnant, acid and inoperative.

The news was imparted with a circumspection recalling the ceremonial ⁽⁴usage usages⁴⁾ of the ⁽⁴sublime Sublimeº⁴⁾ Porte by the second female infirmarian to the junior medical officer in residence, who in his turn announced to the delegation that an heir had been born. When he had betaken himself to the women's apartment to assist at the prescribed ceremony of the afterbirth ^|8in the presence of the secretary of state for domestic affairs and the ^|aexhausted and members of the^a| privy council, silent in unanimous exhaustion and approbation,º^8| the delegates, chafing under the length and solemnity of their vigil and hoping that the joyful occurrence would palliate a licence which the simultaneous absence of abigail and ⁽⁴obstretician officerº⁴⁾ rendered the easier,º broke out at once into a strife of tongues. In vain the voice of Mr Canvasser Bloom was heard endeavouring to urge, to mollify, to ⁽⁴refrain restrain⁴⁾. The moment was too
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propitious for the display of that discursiveness which seemedº the only bondº of union among tempers so divergent. Every phase of the situation was successively eviscerated⁽⁴. The: theº⁴⁾ prenatal repugnance of uterine brothers, the Caesarean ^|6operation section^6|, ⁽⁴posthumity with respect to the father and^|5,^5| that rarer form^|5,^5| with respect to the mother,⁴⁾ the fratricidal case known as the Childs ⁽⁴Murder murder⁴⁾ and rendered memorable by the impassioned plea of Mr Advocate Bushe which secured the acquittal of the wrongfully accused, the rights of primogeniture and king's bounty touching twins and triplets, miscarriages and infanticides, simulated ⁽⁴or and⁴⁾ dissimulated, ⁽⁴the⁴⁾ acardiac ^|5foetus in foetu foetus in foetu^{5| (4}and,⁴⁾ aprosopia due to a congestion, ⁽⁴all cases which Aristotle's masterpiece has chronicled of the^{4) (err}agnatia agnathiaº^err) of certain chinless ⁽⁴Chinaman Chinamen⁴⁾ (cited by Mr Candidate Mulligan) ⁽⁴as a in⁴⁾ consequence of ⁽⁴a⁴⁾
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defective reunion of the maxillary knobs along the medial line so that⁽⁴, as he said, (as he said)⁴⁾ one ear could ⁽⁴catch hear⁴⁾ what the other ⁽⁴said spoke⁴⁾, the benefits of anesthesia or twilight sleep, the ^(errprolungation prolongationº^err) of labour ⁽⁴from early pains in advanced⁴⁾ gravidancy by reason of ⁽⁴embryonic pressure upon ^|6e^6| pressure on⁴⁾ the vein, the premature relentment of the amniotic fluid (as ⁽⁴exemplied exemplified^{4) (4}by in⁴⁾ the actual case) ⁽⁴necessitating an artificial distension of with consequent peril of sepsis to⁴⁾ the matrix, ^|6artificial insemination ^|aby means of syringes^a|, ^|7involution of the womb consequent upon the menopause,^7| the problem of the ^(errperpetration perpetuationº^err) of the ^|arace species^a| in the case of females impregnated by ^|adelinquent^a| rape,^{6| |10}that distressing manner of delivery called by the Brandenburghers Sturzgeburt,^10| the recorded instances of multiseminalº, twikindled and monstrousº birthsº ^|7conceived during the catamenic period — or of consanguineous parents^{7| (4}— in a word all the cases of human nativity which Aristotle has classified in his masterpiece with chromolithographic illustrations⁴⁾. The gravest problems of obstetrics and forensic medicine were examined with as much animation as the most popular beliefs on the state of pregnancy such as the forbidding to ^|10a^10| gravid ^|10women woman^10| to step over a ⁽⁴countrystile country stile⁴⁾ lest, by her movement, the navelcord should strangle ⁽⁴the foetus in her womb her creature⁴⁾ and the injunction upon her in the event of a yearning, ardently and ineffectually entertained, to ⁽⁴lay place⁴⁾ her hand against that part of her person which long usage has consecrated as the seat of castigation. The abnormalities of harelip, breastmole^|6,^{6| |8}supernumerary digits,^{8| |5}negro's inkle^|8,^{8|5| |6}and^6| strawberry mark
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^|6and portwine stain^6| were alleged by one as a prima facieº and natural ^|6hypothetical^6| explanation of ⁽⁴those⁴⁾ swineheadedº (the case of ⁽⁴the foundress of Steven's hospital ^|6Madam Madame^6| Grissel Steevens⁴⁾ was not forgotten) or doghaired infants occasionally born. The hypothesis of a plasmic memory, advanced by the Caledonian envoy and worthy of the metaphysical traditions of the land he stood for, envisaged in such cases an arrest of embryonic development at some stage antecedent to the human. An outlandish delegate ⁽⁴of a bestial^{4) (4}cast of countenance⁴⁾ sustained against both these views⁽⁴,⁴⁾ with such heat as almost carried conviction⁽⁴,⁴⁾ the theory of copulation between women and the males of brutes, his authority being his own avouchment in support of fables such as ⁽⁴the legend that⁴⁾ of the Minotaur which the genius of the elegant Latin poet has handed down to us ⁽⁴in the pages of his ^|10metamorphoses Metamorphoses^10|4). The impression made by his words was immediate but shortlived. It was effaced as easily as it had been evoked by an allocution from Mr Candidate Mulligan in that vein of pleasantry which none ⁽⁴more better⁴⁾ than he knew how to affect⁽⁴,^4)|10,^10| postulating as the supremest object of desire a nice clean old man. Contemporaneously^|10,^10| a heated argument having arisen between Mr Delegate Madden and Mr Candidate Lynch regarding the juridical and theological dilemma ⁽⁴created⁴⁾ in the event of one Siamese twin predeceasing the other^|10,^10|
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the ⁽⁴problem, difficulty⁴⁾ by mutual consent⁽⁴,⁴⁾ was referred to Mr Canvasser Bloom for instant submittal to Mr Coadjutor Deacon Dedalus. Hitherto silent, whether the better to show ^|10by preternatural gravity^10| that curious dignity of the garb with which he was invested or in obedience to an inward voice, he delivered briefly⁽⁴,⁴⁾ and⁽⁴,⁴⁾ as some thought⁽⁴,⁴⁾ perfunctorily⁽⁴,⁴⁾ the ecclesiastical ordinance forbidding man to put asunder what God has joined.

⁽⁴Malachi's tale froze But Malachias' tale began to freeze⁴⁾ them with horror. ⁽⁴He conjured up the scene before them.⁴⁾ The secret panel beside the chimney slid back and in the recess appeared —º Haines⁽⁴.!^{4) |10}Which of us did not feel his flesh creep!^10| He had a ⁽⁴bag portfolio⁴⁾ full of ⁽⁴Irish poems Celtic literature⁴⁾ in one hand, in the other a phial marked Poison. Surprise, horror, loathing ⁽⁴appeared were depicted⁴⁾ on all faces while he eyed them with a ghastly grin. I anticipated ⁽⁴this some such⁴⁾ reception, he began ^|6with an eldritch laugh^6|, for which, it seems, history is to blame. Yes, it is true. I am the murderer
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of Samuel Childs. ⁽⁴And how I am punished!⁴⁾ The ⁽⁴future⁴⁾ inferno has no terrors for me. ^|8This is the appearance is on me.^{8| |6}Tare and ages,^{6| (4|6}What what^6| way would I be resting at all^|6, he muttered thickly,^6| and I tramping Dublin this while back ^|6with my share of songs^6| and himself after me the like of a soulth ^|6or a bullawurrus^6|?^{4) (4}Like the modern Irish^{4) (4}my My⁴⁾ hell⁽⁴, and Ireland's,⁴⁾ is in this life. ^|6I have It is what I^6| tried to obliterate my crime. Distractions, rookshooting, the Erse language (he recited some), laudanum (he raised the phial to his lips)^|6,^6| camping out. In vain! His spectre stalks me. Dope is my only hope … Ah⁽⁴,! Destruction!^{4) (4}the The⁴⁾ black panther⁽⁴.!⁴⁾ With a cry he suddenly vanished and the panel slid back. An instant later his head appeared in the door opposite⁽⁴. and said:⁴⁾ Meet me at Westland ⁽⁴Row row⁴⁾ station at ten past eleven. He was gone⁽⁴.!⁴⁾ Tears gushed from the eyes of the dissipated host. The seer raised his hand to heaven, murmuring: ⁽⁴'Tis the vengenance The vendetta⁴⁾ of ^(errMananaun Mananaanº¹²⁾⁽⁴.!⁴⁾ The sage repeated:º ^|5Lex talionis Lex talionis^5|. The sentimentalist is he who would enjoy without incurring the immense debtorship for a thing done. ⁽⁴Malachi ceased Malachias⁴⁾, overcome ⁽⁴by emotion, ceased⁴⁾. The mystery was unveiled. Haines was the third brother. His real name was Childs. The black panther was himself the ghost of his own father. He drank drugs to obliterate. For this relief much thanks. The lonely house by the graveyard is uninhabited. ⁽⁴No soul will live there. The spider pitches her web in the solitude. The nocturnal rat peers from his hole. A curse is on it. It is haunted. Murderer's ground.⁴⁾

What is the age of the soul of man? As she hath the virtue of the chameleon to change her hue at every new approach, to be gay with the merry⁽⁴,⁴⁾ and mournful with the downcast, so ⁽⁴too⁴⁾ is her age ⁽⁴too⁴⁾ changeable as her mood. No longer is Leopold, as he sits there, ruminating, chewing the cud of
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reminiscence, that staid agent of publicity ⁽⁴whom men respect and holder of a modest substance in the funds⁴⁾. ⁽⁴A score of years are blown away.⁴⁾ He is young Leopold⁽⁴. There⁴⁾, as in a retrospective arrangement, a mirror within a mirror ^|6(hey, presto!)^6|, he beholdeth himself. That young figure of then ⁽⁴is seen⁴⁾, precociously manly, ⁽⁴is seen⁴⁾ walking on a nipping morning from the old house in Clanbrassilº street to the high school, his booksatchel on him bandolierwise⁽⁴,⁴⁾ and in it a goodly hunk of wheaten loaf, a mother's ⁽⁴care thought⁴⁾. Or it is the same figure, ⁽⁴some a⁴⁾ year or so gone over, in his first hard hat (ah, that was a day!)⁽⁴,⁴⁾
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already on the road, a fullfledged traveller for the family firm, equipped with an orderbook, a scented handkerchiefº (not for show only), his case of bright trinketware (alas⁽⁴!,⁴⁾ a thing now of the past!)⁽⁴,⁴⁾ and a quiverful of compliant smiles for this or that ⁽⁴compliant halfwon⁴⁾ housewife reckoning it out upon her fingertips or for a budding virgin⁽⁴,⁴⁾ shyly acknowledging (but the heart? tell me⁽⁴?!⁴⁾) his studied baisemoins. The scent, the smile⁽⁴,⁴⁾ but⁽⁴,⁴⁾ more than theseº the dark ⁽⁴eyes, the eyes and⁴⁾ oleaginous address⁽⁴,⁴⁾ brought home at duskfall many a ⁽⁴commitment commission⁴⁾ to the head of the firm⁽⁴,⁴⁾ seated ^|6with Jacob's pipe^6| after like labours in the paternal ingle (a meal of noodles,º you may be sure, is aheating), reading through round horned spectacles some paper from the Europe of a month before. But⁽⁴,⁴⁾ hey, presto, the mirror is breathed ⁽⁴upon on^|8,^8|4) and the young knighterrant recedes, shrivels, dwindlesº to a tiny ⁽⁴point speck⁴⁾ within the mist. Now he is himself paternal and these about him might be his sons. Who can say? The wise father knows his own child. He thinks of a drizzling night in Hatch street, hard by the bonded stores there, the first. Together (she is a poor waif, a child of shame, yours and mine and of all for a bare shilling and her luckpenny)^(err,º^err) together they hear the heavy tread of the watch as two raincaped shadows pass the ⁽⁴new royal⁴⁾ university. Bridie! Bridie Kelly! He will never forget the name, ever remember the night⁽⁴:,⁴⁾ first night, the bridenight. They are entwined in nethermost darkness, the willer with the willed, and in an instant (^|5fiat! fiat!^5|) light shall flood the world. ^|8Did heart leap to heart? Nay, fair reader. In a breath 'twas done^{8| |8}But — bu but —^8| hold! Back! It must not be! In terror the poor girl flees away through the murk. She is the bride of darkness, a daughter of night. She dare not bear the sunnygolden babe of day. No, Leopold⁽⁴.!⁴⁾ Name and memory solace thee not. That youthful illusion of thy strength was taken from thee —º and in vain. No son of thy loins is ⁽⁴here by thee⁴⁾. There is none now to be for Leopold^|10,^10| what Leopold was for Rudolph.

The voices blend and fuse in clouded silence: silence that is the infinite of space⁽⁴:⁴⁾ and swiftly, silently the soul is wafted over regions of cyclesº of generations that have lived. A region where grey twilight ever descends, never falls on wide sagegreen pasturefields, shedding her dusk, scattering a perennial
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dew of stars. She follows her mother
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with ungainly steps, a mare leading her ^|8filly foal fillyfoal^8|. Twilight phantoms are they⁽⁴,⁴⁾º yet moulded in prophetic grace of structure, slim shapely haunches, a supple tendonous neck, the meek apprehensive skull. They fade, sad phantoms: all is gone. Agendath is a waste land, a home of screechowls and the sandblind upupa. Netaim,º the golden, is no more. And on the highway of the clouds they come⁽⁴,⁴⁾ muttering thunder of rebellion, the ghosts of beasts.º Huuh! Hark! Huuh! Parallax stalks behind and goads them, the lancinating lightnings of whose brow are scorpions. Elk and yak, the bulls of Bashan and of Babylon, mammoth and mastodon, they come trooping to the sunken sea, Lacus Mortis. Ominous⁽⁴,º⁴⁾ revengeful zodiacal host! They moan, passing upon the clouds, horned and capricorned, the trumpeted with the tusked, the lionmaned, the giantantlered, snouter and crawler, ⁽⁴ruminant, rodent rodent, ruminant⁴⁾ and pachyderm, all their moving moaning multitude, murderers of the sun.

Onward to the dead sea they tramp to drink, unslaked⁽⁴,⁴⁾ and with horrible gulpings^|6,^6| the salt somnolent inexhaustible flood. And the equine portent grows again, magnified in the deserted heavens, nay to heaven's own magnitude^(err,º^err) till it looms, vast, over the house of ⁽⁴virgo Virgo⁴⁾. And⁽⁴,⁴⁾ lo, wonder of metempsychosis, it is she, the everlasting bride, harbinger of the daystar, the bride, ever virgin. It is she, Martha, thou lost one, Millicent, the young, the dear, the radiant. How serene does she now arise, a queen among the ⁽⁴pleiades Pleiades,⁴⁾ in the penultimate antelucan hour, shod in sandals of bright gold, coifed with a veil of what do you call it gossamer⁽⁴.!⁴⁾ It floats, it flows about her starborn flesh and loose it streams⁽⁴,⁴⁾ emerald, sapphire, mauve and heliotrope⁽⁴,⁴⁾ sustained on currents of ⁽⁴the⁴⁾ cold interstellar wind, winding, coiling, simply swirling, writhing in the skies a mysterious writing till,º after a myriad metamorphoses of symbol, it blazes, Alpha, a ruby and triangled sign upon the forehead of Taurus.

Francis was reminding Stephen of years before when they had been at school ⁽⁴together⁴⁾ in Conmee's time. He asked about Glaucon, ⁽⁴Pisistratus, Alcibiades Alcibiades, Pisistratus⁴⁾. Where were they now? Neither knew. You have ⁽⁴spoke spoken⁴⁾ of the past and its phantoms, Stephen said. Why think of
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them? If I callº them into life across the waters of Lethe will not the poor ghosts troop to my call? Who supposes it? I, Bous Stephanoumenos, bullockbefriending bard, am lord and giver of their life. He encircled his gadding hair with a coronal of vineleaves, smiling at Vincent. ⁽⁴The That⁴⁾ answer and those leaves, Vincent said to him, will adorn you more fitly when something more, and greatly more, than a capful of light odes can call your genius father. All who wish you well hope this for
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you. All desire to see you bring forth the work you meditate⁽⁴, to acclaim you Stephaneforos⁴⁾. I heartily wish you may not fail them. O no, Vincent, Lenehan said, laying a hand on the shoulder near ⁽⁴him. Have him, have⁴⁾ no fear. He could not leave his mother an orphan. The young man's face grew dark. All could see how ⁽⁴sad hard⁴⁾ it was for him to be reminded of his promise and of his recent loss. He would have withdrawn from the feast had not the noise of voices allayed the smart. Madden had lost five drachmas on ⁽⁴Sceptre Sceptre^4)|5. for a whim of the ^|8rider's^8| name:^5| Lenehan as much more. He told them of the race. The flag fell and, huuh⁽⁴!⁴⁾, off, scamper, the mare ran out freshly with O. Madden up. She was leading the ⁽⁴field. All field: all⁴⁾ hearts were beating. Even Phyllis ⁽⁴waved her scarf could not contain herself⁴⁾. She ⁽⁴could not contain herself waved her scarf⁴⁾ and cried: ^|6Huzzah!^6| Sceptre wins⁽⁴.!⁴⁾ But in the straight on the run home when ⁽⁴they all⁴⁾ were in close order ⁽⁴the dark horse^{4) (4}Throwaway Throwaway⁴⁾ drew level ⁽⁴and, reached,⁴⁾ outstripped her. All was lost ⁽⁴now⁴⁾. Phyllis was silent: her eyes were sad anemones. Juno, she cried, I am ⁽⁴all⁴⁾ undone. But her lover consoled her and brought her a ⁽⁴little bright⁴⁾ casket of ⁽⁴gold in which lay some⁴⁾ oval sugarplums which she partook. ⁽⁴But one A⁴⁾ tear fell⁽⁴: one only⁴⁾. A whacking fine whip, said Lenehan, is W. Lane. Four winners yesterday and three today. What rider is like him? Mount him on the camel or the boisterous buffalo the victory ^|8in a hack canter^8| is still his. But let us bear it as was the ancient wont. ^|8Mercy on the luckless!^8| Poor Sceptre! he said with a light sigh. She is not the filly that she was. Never, by this hand, shall we behold such another^|6. By gad, sir^6|, a queen of them. Do you remember her, Vincent? I wish you could have seen my queen today, Vincent ⁽⁴said. How said, how⁴⁾ young she was and radiant ^|8(Lalage were scarce fair beside her)^8| in her yellow shoes and frock of muslin, I do not know the right name of it. The chestnuts that shaded us were ⁽⁴all⁴⁾ in bloom: the air drooped with their
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persuasive odour and with pollen floating by us. In the sunny patches one might easily have cooked on a stone a batch of those buns with Corinth fruit in them that ⁽⁴Periplipomenes Periplepomenos⁴⁾ sells in his booth ⁽⁴by near⁴⁾ the bridge. But she had nought for her teeth but the arm with which I held her and in that she nibbled mischievously when I pressed too close. A week ago she ⁽⁴was lay⁴⁾ ill, four days on the couch, but today she was free, blithe ⁽⁴and,⁴⁾ mocked at peril. She is more taking then. Her posies too! Mad romp that sheº is⁽⁴,⁴⁾ she had pulled her fill as we ⁽⁴lay reclined⁴⁾ together. And in your ear, my friend, ⁽⁴he said to Francis,⁴⁾ you will not think who met us as we left the field. Conmee himself! He was walking by the hedge, reading⁽⁴, I think⁴⁾ a brevier⁽⁴, I think, book⁴⁾ with ⁽⁴perhaps, I doubt not,⁴⁾ a witty letter in it from Glycera ⁽⁴or Chloe⁴⁾ to ⁽⁴mark keep⁴⁾ the page. The sweet creature turned all colours in her confusion, feigning to reprove a slight disorder in her dress: a slip of
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⁽⁴undergrowth underwood⁴⁾ clung there for the very trees adore her. When Conmee had passed she glanced at her lovely echo in ⁽⁴that the⁴⁾ little mirror she carries. But he had been kind. In going by he had blessed us. The gods too are ever kind, Lenehan said. If I had poor luck with Bass's mare perhaps this draught of his may serve me more propensely. He was laying his hand upon a winejar: Malachi saw it and withheld his act, pointing to the stranger ⁽⁴then and⁴⁾ to the scarlet label. Warily, Malachi whispered, preserve a druid silence. His soul is far away. It is as painful perhaps to be awakened from a vision as to be born. Any object, intensely regarded, may be a gate of access to the incorruptible eon of the gods. Do you not think it, Stephen? Theosophos told me so, Stephen answered, whom in a previous existence Egyptian priests initiated into the mysteries of karmic law. The lords of the moon, Theosophos told me, an ⁽⁴orangetawny orangefiery⁴⁾ shipload from planet Alpha of the lunar chain would not assume the etheric doubles and these were therefore incarnated by the rubycoloured egos from the second constellation.

However, as a matter of fact though, the preposterous surmise about him being in some description of a doldrums or other⁽⁴, or mesmerised⁴⁾ which was entirely due to a misconception of the shallowest character, was not the case at all. The individual whose visual organs^(err,º^err) while the above was going on⁽⁴,⁴⁾ were at this juncture commencing
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to exhibitº symptoms of animationº was as astute ⁽⁴or if not⁴⁾ astuter than any man living and ⁽⁴anyone anybody⁴⁾ that conjectured the contrary would have found themselves pretty ^|6quickly speedily^6| in the wrong shop. During the past four minutes or thereabouts he had been staring ⁽⁴hard⁴⁾ at a certain amount of number one Bass bottled by ⁽⁴Messrs⁴⁾ Bass and Co at ⁽⁴Burton on Trent Burton-on-Trent⁴⁾ which happened to be situated amongst a lot of others right opposite to where he was and ⁽⁴which⁴⁾ was certainly calculated to attract ⁽⁴anybody's anyone's⁴⁾ remark on account of its scarlet appearance. He was simply and solely, as it subsequently transpired ^|6for reasons best known to himself^6|, which putº quite an altogether different complexion on the proceedings, after the moment before's ⁽⁴remarks observations⁴⁾ about boyhood days and the turf, recollecting two or three private transactions of his own ⁽⁴that the two others which the other two⁴⁾ were as mutually innocent of as the babe unborn. Eventually, however, both their eyes met and⁽⁴,^{4) |6}perceiving as soon as it began to dawn on him^6| that ^|6he the ol other^6| was endeavouring to help himself to the thing⁽⁴,⁴⁾ he involuntarilyº determined to help him himself and so he accordingly took hold of the ⁽⁴neck of the⁴⁾ mediumsized glass recipient which contained the fluid sought after and made a capacious hole in it by pouring a lot of it out with⁽⁴, also⁴⁾ at the same time,º however, a considerable degree of attentiveness in order not to upset any of the beer that was in it about the place.
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