(Theº Mabbot street entrance of nighttown, before which stretches an uncobbled tramsiding set with skeleton tracks, red and green will-o'-the-wispsº and danger signals. Rows of grimyº houses with gaping doors. Rare lamps with faint rainbow fans. Round ^|10a Rabaiotti's^10| halted ice gondola stunted men and women squabble. They grab wafers between which are wedged lumps of coralº and copper snow. Sucking, they scatter slowly, childrenº. The swancomb of the gondola, highreared, forges on through the murk, white and blue under a lighthouse. Whistles call and answer.)

THE CALLSº

Wait, my love, and I'll be with you.

THE ANSWERSº

Round behind the stable.

(^|12An A deafmute^12| idiot with goggle eyes, his shapeless mouth dribbling, jerks past, shaken in Saint Vitus' dance. A chain of children's hands imprisons him.)

THE CHILDREN

Kithogue! Salute!
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THE IDIOT

(Lifts a palsied left arm and gurgles.) Ghahuteº!
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THE CHILDREN

Where's the great light?

THE IDIOT

(Gobbling.) Ghaghahest.

(They release him. He jerks on. A pigmy woman swings on a rope slung between twoº railings, counting. A form sprawled against a dustbin and muffled by its arm and hat snoresº^|10,^{10| |7}groans, grinding growling teeth, and snores again^7|. On a step a gnome totting among ^|12rubbish a rubbishtip^12| crouches to shoulder a sack of rags and bones. A crone standing by with a smoky oillampº rams herº last bottle in the maw of his sack. He heaves his booty, tugs askew his peaked cap and hobbles off mutely. The crone makes back for her lair,º swaying her lamp. A bandy child, asquat on the doorstep with a paper shuttlecockº , crawls sidling after her in spurts, clutches her skirt, scrambles up. A drunken navvy grips with both hands the railings of an area, lurching heavily. At a corner two night watch in ^|10shoulder capes shouldercapesº ,^10| their hands upon their ^|10staff holsters, staffholsters,^10| loom tall. A plate crashes:º a woman screams:º a child wails. Oaths of a man roar, mutter, cease. Figures wander, lurk, peer from warrens. In a room lit by a candle stuck in a bottleneck a slut combs out the tatts from the hair of a scrofulousº child. Cissy Caffrey's voice, still young, sings shrill from a lane.)

CISSY CAFFREY

I gave it to Molly
Because she was jolly,
The leg of the duckº
The leg of the duck.

(Private Carr and Private Compton, swaggersticks tight in their oxters, as they march unsteadilyº rightaboutface and burst together from their mouths a volleyed fart. Laughter of men from the lane. A hoarse virago retorts.)
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THE VIRAGO

Signs on you, hairy arse. More power the Cavan girl.

CISSY CAFFREY

More luck to me. Cavan, Cootehill and Belturbet. (She sings.)
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I gave it to Nelly
To stick in her belly,º
The leg of the duck
The leg of the duck.

(Private Carr and Private Compton turn and counterretort, their tunics bloodbright in a lampglow, black sockets of caps on their blond cropped polls. Stephen Dedalus ⁽⁵& and⁵⁾ Lynch pass through the crowd close to the redcoats.)

PRIVATE COMPTON

(Jerks his finger.) Way for the parson.

PRIVATE CARR

(Turns and calls.) What ho, parson!

CISSY CAFFREY

(Her voice soaring higher.)

She has it, she got it,
Wherever she put it,º
The leg of the duck.

(Stephen^(err,º^err) flourishing the ashplant in his left hand, chants with joy the introit for paschal time. Lynch, his jockey capº low on his brow, attends him, a sneer of discontent wrinkling his face.)
{u21, 479}

STEPHEN

Vidi aquam egredientem de templo a latere dextro. Alleluia.

(The famished snaggletusks of an elderly bawd protrudeº from a doorway.)

THE BAWD

(Her voice whispering huskily.) Sst! Comeº here till I tell you. Maidenhead inside. Sst!º

STEPHEN

(Altius aliquantulum.) Et omnes ad quos pervenit aqua ista.
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THE BAWD

(Spits in their trail her jet of venom.) Trinity medicals. Fallopian tube. All prick and no pence.

(Edy Boardman, sniffling, crouched with Bertha Supple, draws her shawl across her nostrils.)

EDY BOARDMAN

(Bickering.) And says the one: I seen you up Faithful place with your squarepusher^|11, the greaser off the railway,^11| in ^|11the his^{11| |10}come-to-bed cometobed^10| hat. Did you, says I. That's not for you to say, says I. You never seen me in the mantrap with a married highlander, says I. The likes of her! Stag that one is!º Stubborn as a mule! And her walking with two fellows the one time, Kilbride,º the enginedriver, and lancecorporal Oliphant.

STEPHEN

(Triumphaliter.) ^|7Salvi facti sunt. Salvi factiº sunt.^7|

(He flourishes his ashplant,º shivering the lamp image, shattering light over the world.^(5|10)^10|5)

^|10⇑^{10| |10}(A A^{10| |10}retriever liver and white spaniel^10| on the prowl slinks after him, growling. Lynch scares it with a kick.)
{u21, 480}

LYNCH

So that?

STEPHEN

(Looks behind.) So that gesture^|6, not music not odourº,^6| would be a universal language, the gift of tongues rendering visible not the lay sense but the first entelechy, the structural rhythm.

LYNCH

Pornosophical philotheology. Metaphysics in Mecklenburghº street!
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STEPHEN

We have shrewridden Shakespeare and henpecked Socrates. Even the allwisest Stagyriteº was bitted, bridled and mounted by a light of love.

LYNCH

^|10Bah Ba^10|!

STEPHEN

Anyway, who wants two gestures to illustrate a loaf and a jug?º This movement illustrates the loaf and jug of bread orº wine in Omar. Hold my stick.

LYNCH

Damn your yellow stick. Where are we going?

STEPHEN

^|7Lecherous lynx,^{7| |10}To find to la belle dame sans merci,^10| Georgina Johnson, ^|10light of love,^{10| |10}ad deam qui laetificat juventutem meam ad deam qui laetificat juventutem meam^10|.

(Stephen thrusts the ashplant on him and slowly holds out his hands,
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his head going back till both hands are a span from his breast, down turned,º in planes intersecting, the fingers about to part, the left being higher.)

LYNCH

Which is the jug of bread? It skills not. That or the customhouse. Illustrate thou. Here take your crutch and walk.

(They pass. Tommy Caffrey scrambles to a gaslamp and, clasping, climbs in spasms. From the top spur he slides down. Jacky Caffrey clasps to climb. The navvy lurches against the lamp. The twins scuttle off in the dark. The navvy, swaying, presses a forefinger against a wing of his nose and ejects from the farther nostril a long liquid jet of snot. Shoulderingº the lamp he staggers away through the crowd with his flaring cresset.

Snakes of river fog creep slowly. From drains, clefts, cesspools, middens^(err,º^err) arise on all sides stagnant fumes. A glow leaps in the south beyond the seaward reaches of the river. The navvy, staggering forward,º cleaves the crowd and lurches towards the tramsiding. On the farther side under the railway bridge Bloom appears,º flushed, panting, cramming bread and chocolate into a sidepocketº. From Gillen's hairdresser's window a composite portrait shows him gallant Nelson's image. A concave mirror
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at the side presents to him lovelorn ^|6long lost longlost^6| lugubru Booloohoom. Grave Gladstone sees him level, Bloom for Bloom. He passes, struck by the stare of truculent Wellington but in the convex mirror grin unstruck the bonham eyes and fatchuck cheekchops of jollypoldyº the rixdix doldy.

At Antonio Rabaiotti's door Bloom halts, sweated under the bright arclampº. He disappears. In a moment he reappears and hurries on.)

BLOOM

Fish and taters. N.g. Ah!

(He disappears into Olhausen'sº , the pork butcher's, under the downcoming
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^|10roll shutter rollshutter^10|. A few moments later he emerges from under the shutter, puffing Poldy, blowing Bloohoom. In each hand he holds a parcel, one containing a lukewarm pig's crubeen, the other a cold sheep's trotter, sprinkled with wholepepper. He gasps, standing upright. Then bending to one side he presses a parcel against his ribsº and groans.)

BLOOM

Stitch in my side. Why did I run?

(He takes breath with care and goes forward slowly towards the lampset siding. The glow leaps again.)

BLOOM

What is that? A flasher? Searchlight.

(He stands at Cormack's corner, watching.)

BLOOM

Aurora borealis or a steel foundry? Ah, the brigade, of course. South side anyhow. Big blaze. Might be his house. Beggar's bush. We're safe. (He hums cheerfully.) London's burning, London's burning! On fire, on fire! (He catches sight of the navvy lurching through the crowd at the farther side of Talbot street.) I'll miss him. Run. Quick. Better cross here.

(He darts to cross the road. Urchins shout.)
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THE URCHINS

Mind out, mister!

(Two cyclists, with lighted paper lanterns aswingº , swim by him, grazing him, their bells rattling.)

THE BELLS

Haltyaltyaltyall.
{u21, 483}

BLOOM

(Halts erect,º stung by a spasm.) Ow!º

(He looks round, darts forward suddenly. Through rising fog a dragon sandstrewer^|12, travelling at caution,^12| slews heavily down upon him, its huge red headlight winking, its trolley hissing on the wire. The motorman bangs his footgong.)

THE GONG

Bang Bang Bla Bak Blud Bugg Bloo.

(The brake cracks violently. Bloom, raising a policeman's whitegloved hand, blunders,º stifflegged, out of the track. The motorman,º thrown forward, pugnosed, on the guidewheel, yells as he slides past ^|12over chains and keys^12|.)

THE MOTORMAN

Hey, shitbreeches, are you doing the hat trick?º

(Bloom trickleaps to the curbstone and halts again. He brushes a mudflake from his cheek with a parcelled hand.)

BLOOMº

^|12No thoroughfare.º^12| Close shave that but cured the stitch. Must take up Sandow's exercisesº again. On the hands down. Insure against street accident too. The Providential. (He feels his trouser pocket.) Poor mamma's panacea. Heel easily catch in trackº or bootlace in a cog. Dayº the wheel of the Blackº Mariaº peeled off my shoe at Leonard's corner. Third time is the charm. Shoe trick. Insolent driver. I ought to report him. Tension makes them nervous. Might
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be the fellow balked me this morning with that horsey woman. Same style of beauty. Quick of him all theº same. The stiff walk. True word spoken in jest. That awful cramp in Lad lane. Something poisonous I ate. Emblem of luck. Why? Probably lost cattle. Mark of the beast. (He closes his eyes an instant.) Bit light in
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the head. Monthly or effect of the other. Brainfogfag. That tired feeling. Too much for me now. Ow!

(A sinister figure leans on plaited legs against O'Beirne's wall, a visage unknown, injected with dark mercury. From under a ^|10wide leaved wideleaved^10| sombrero the figure regards him with evil eye.)

BLOOM

^(errBueñas Buenasº^err) noches, señorita ^|10Blanca^10|. Queº calle es esta?

THE FIGURE

(Impassive, raises a signal arm.) ^|12Password.^{12| |10}Sraid Mabbot Sraid Mabbot^10|.

BLOOM

Haha. ^|10Merci Merci^10|. Esperanto. ^|10Slan leath Slan leath^10|. (He mutters.) Gaelic league spy, sent by that ⁽⁷fire eater fireeaterº⁷⁾.

(He steps forward. A sackshouldered ragman bars his path. He steps left, ragsackman left.)

⁽⁵BLOOM⁵⁾

⁽⁵I beg.⁵⁾

⁽⁵(He leaps right, sackragman right.)⁵⁾º

BLOOM

I beg.

(He swerves, sidles, stepaside, slips past and on.)

BLOOM

Keep to the right, right, right. If there is a fingerpost planted by the Touring Club at Stepaside who procured that public boon? I who lost my way and contributed to the columns of the Irish Cyclist the letter headedº In darkestº Stepaside. Keep, keep, keep to the right. Rags and bonesº at midnight. A fence more likely. First place murderer makes for. Wash off his sins of the world.

(Jacky Caffrey, hunted by Tommy Caffrey, runs full tilt against Bloom.)
{u21, 485}
{u22, 416}

BLOOM

O.

(Shocked, on weak hams, he halts. Tommy and Jacky vanish there, there. Bloom pats with parcelled hands watchfob, pocketbookpocket, pursepoke, sweets of sin, potatosoapº.)

BLOOM

Beware of pickpockets. Old thieves'º dodge. Collide. Then snatch your purse.

(The retriever approachesº sniffingº^|12, nose to the ground^12|. ^|12A sprawled form sneezes.^12| A stooped bearded figure appears garbed in the long caftan of an elder in Zion and a smokingcapº with magenta tassels. Horned spectacles hang down at the wings of the nose. Yellow poison streaks are on the drawn face.)

RUDOLPH

Second halfcrown waste money today. I told you not go with drunken goy ever. ^|10|aSo.º^a| You catch no money.^10|

BLOOM

(Hides the crubeen and trotter behind his back and, crestfallen, feels warm and cold feetmeat.) ^|10Ja, ich weiss, papachi Ja, ich weiss, papachi^10|.

RUDOLPH

What you making down this place? ^|10Have you no soul?^10| (With feeble vulture talons he feels the silent face of Bloom.) Are you not my son Leopold, the grandsonº of Leopold? Are you not my dear son Leopold who left the house of his father and left the god of his fathers Abraham and Jacob?
{u21, 486}

BLOOM

(With precaution.) I suppose so, father. Mosenthal. All that's left of him.

RUDOLPH

(Severely.) One night they bring you home drunk as dog after spend your good money. What you call them running chaps?
{u22, 417}

BLOOM

(In youth's smart blue Oxford suit with white vestslips, ^|10narrow shouldered narrowshouldered,^10| in brown Alpine hat, wearing gent's sterling silver Waterburyº keyless watch and double curb Albert with seal attached, one side of him coated with stiffening mud.) Harriers, father. Only that once.

RUDOLPH

Once^|7.!^7| Mud head to foot. Cut your hand open. Lockjaw. They make you ^|s12kaputt kaput^s12||10.,^{10| |7}Leopoldleben.^7| You watch them chaps.

BLOOM

(Weakly.) They challenged me to a sprint. It was muddy. I slipped.

RUDOLPH

(With contempt.) ^|10Goim nachez! Goim nachez!º^10| Nice spectacles for your poor mother!

^|10BLOOM

Mamma!^10|

^|10ELLEN BLOOM^10|

(^|10Ellen Bloom, in In^10| pantomime dame's stringed mobcap, ^|7Widow Twankey'sº^7| crinoline and bustle,º blouse with muttonleg sleeves buttoned behind, grey mittens and cameo brooch, her plaited hairº in a crispine net, appears over the staircase
{u21, 487}
banisters, a slanted candlestick in her hand,º and cries out in shrill alarm.) O blessed Redeemer, what have they done to him! My smelling salts! (She hauls up a reef of skirt and ransacks the pouch of her striped ⁽⁵blaey blayº⁵⁾ petticoat. A phial, an Agnus Dei, a shrivelled potato and a celluloid doll fall out.) Sacred Heart of Mary, where were you at allº at all?

(Bloom, mumbling, his eyes downcast,º begins to bestow his parcels in his filled pockets but desists, muttering.)

A VOICE

(Sharply.) Poldy!

BLOOM

Who? (He ^|6ducks and^6| wards off a blow clumsily.) At your service.

(He looks up. Beside her mirage of datepalms a handsome woman in Turkish costume stands before him. Opulent curves fill out her scarlet
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trousers and jacket^|10,º slashed with gold^10|. ^|7A wide yellow cummerbund girdles her.^7| A white yashmak,º violet in the night, covers her face, leaving free only her large dark eyes and raven hair.)

BLOOM

Molly!

MARION

Welly? Mrs Marion from this out, my dear man, when you speak to me. (Satirically.) Has poor little hubby cold feet waiting so long?

BLOOM

(Shifts from foot to foot.) No, no. Not the least little bit.

(He breathes in deep agitation, swallowing gulps of air, questions, hopes, crubeens for her supper, things to tell her, excuse,º desire, spellbound. A coin gleams on her forehead. ^|10On her feet are jewelled
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toerings.^10| Her ankletsº are linked by a slender fetterchain. Beside her a camel, hooded with a turreting turban, waits. A silk ladder of innumerable rungs climbs to his bobbing howdah. He ambles near with disgruntled hindquarters. Fiercely she slaps his haunch, ^|10her goldcurb wristbangles angriling,^10| scolding him in Moorish.)

MARION

Nebrakada! Femininum!º

(The camel^|10, ra lifting a foreleg^|12,^12| plucks from a tree a large mango fruit, offers it to his mistress, blinking, in his cloven hoof,º then^10| droops his head and^|7, grunting, with uplifted neck,^7| fumbles to kneel. Bloom stoops his back for leapfrog.)

BLOOM

I can give you … I mean as your business menagerer … Mrs Marion … if you …

MARION

So you notice some change? (^|10Her hands passing slowly over her trinketed stomacher.^10| A slow friendly mockery in her eyes.) O Poldy, Poldy, you are a poor old stick in the mud! Go and see life. See theº wide world.
{u22, 419}

BLOOM

I was just going back for that lotion whitewax, orangeflower water. Shop closes early on Thursday. But the first thing in the morning. ^|6(He pats divers pockets.) This moving kidney. Ah!^6|

(He points to the south, then to the east. A cake of new clean lemon soap arises, diffusing light and perfume.)
{u21, 489}

THE SOAP

We're a capital couple are Bloom and I^|6.^6|(err,º^err)
He brightens the earth, I polish the sky.

(The ^|6freckled^6| face of Sweny, the druggist, appears in the disc of the soapsun.)

SWENY

Three and a penny, please.

BLOOM

Yes. For my wife⁽⁵,º⁵⁾ Mrs Marion. Special recipe.

MARION

(Softly.) Poldy!

BLOOM

Yes^|7, ma'am^7|?

MARION

Ti trema un poco il cuore?

(In disdain she saunters away, plump as a pampered ^|10poulter pouter^10| pigeon, humming the duet from Don Giovanniº.)

BLOOM

Are you sure about that Voglio? I mean the pronunciati …

(He follows, followed by the sniffing terrier. The elderly bawd seizes his sleeve, the bristles of her chinmole glittering.)
{u21, 490}
{u22, 420}

THE BAWD

Ten shillings a maidenhead. Fresh thing was never touched. Fifteen. ^|7There's no-one in it only her old father that's dead drunk.^7|

(She points. In the gap of her dark den furtive, ^|10rain bedraggled rainbedraggled^10|, Bridie Kelly stands.)

BRIDIE

Hatch street. Any good in your mind?

(With a squeak she flaps her bat shawl and runs. A burly rough pursues with booted strides. He stumbles on the steps, recovers, plunges into gloom. Weak squeaks of laughter are heard, weaker.)

THE BAWD

(Her wolfeyes shining.) He's getting his pleasure. You won't get a virgin in the flash houses. Ten shillings. Don't be all night before the polis in plain clothes sees us. Sixtyseven is a bitch.

(Leering, Gerty MacDowell limps forward. She draws from behind, ogling, and shows coyly her bloodied clout.)

GERTY

With all my worldly goods I thee and thou. (She murmurs.) You did that. I hate you.

BLOOM

I? When? ^|10You're dreaming.^10| I never saw you.

THE BAWD

Leave the gentleman alone^|7, you cheat^7|. ^|7Writing the gentleman false letters.^7| Streetwalking and soliciting. Better for your mother take the strap to you at the bedpost, hussy like you.
{u21, 491}

GERTY

(To Bloom.) When you saw all the secrets of my bottom drawer. (She paws his sleeve, slobbering.) Dirty married man! I love you for doing that to me.

(She glidesº away crookedly. Mrs Breen in man's frieze overcoat with loose
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bellows pockets, stands in the causeway, her roguish eyes wideopen, smiling in all her herbivorous buckteeth.)

MRS BREEN

Mr …

BLOOM

(Coughs gravely.) Madam, when we last had this pleasure ^|7on by letter dated^7| the sixteenth instant …

MRS BREEN

Mr Bloom! You down here in the haunts of sin! ^|7I caught you nicely!^{7| |10}Scamp!^10|

BLOOM

(Hurriedly.) Not so loud my name. ^|12Whatever do you think ofº me?^12| Don't give me away. Walls have earsº. How do you do? It's ages since I. ^|7You're looking splendid. Absolutely it.^7| Seasonable weather we are having this time of year. Black refracts heat. Short cut home here. Interesting quarter. Rescue of fallen women.º ^|6Magdalen asylum^|7.^7|6| I am the secretary …

MRS BREEN

^|10(Holds up a finger.)^10| Now,º don't tell a ^|7story big fib^7|! ^|10I know somebody won't like that.^10| O just wait till I see Molly! (Slily.) Account for yourself this very ^(errsminute minuteº^err) or woe betide you!
{u21, 492}

BLOOM

(Looks behind.) She often said she'd like to visit. ^|6Slumming.^6| The exotic, you see. Negro servants ^|v7too^{v7| |6}in liveryº^{6| |v7}too^v7| if she had money. Othello^|10. Black black^10| brute. Eugene Stratton. Even the bones and cornerman at the Livermore christies. Bohee brothers. Sweep for that matter.

(Tom and Sam Bohee, coloured coons in white duck suits, scarlet socks, upstarched Sambo chokers and large scarlet asters in their buttonholes,º leap out. Each has his banjo slung. Their paler smaller negroid hands jingle the twingtwang wires. Flashing white kaffirº eyes and tusks they rattle through a breakdown in clumsy clogs, twinging, singing, back to back, toe heel, heel toe, with smackfatclacking nigger lips.)
{u22, 422}

TOM AND SAM

There's someone in the house with Dina,º
There's someone in the house, I know,
There's someone in the house with Dina
Playing on the old banjo.

(They whisk black masks from raw babby faces: then, chuckling, chortling, trumming, twanging,º they diddle diddle cakewalk dance away.)

BLOOM

(With a sour tenderish smile.) A little frivol, shall we, if you are so inclined? Would you like me perhaps to embrace you just for a fraction of a second?

MRS BREEN

(Screams gaily.) O, you ruck! You ought to see yourself!
{u21, 493}

BLOOM

For old sake' sake. I only meant ^|10a square party,^10| a mixed marriage mingling of our different little conjugials. You know I had a soft corner for you. (Gloomily.) 'Twas I sent you that valentine of the dear gazelle.

MRS BREEN

Glory Alice, you do look a holy show! Killing simply. (She puts out her hand inquisitively.) What are you hiding behind your back? Tell us, there's a dear.

BLOOM

(Seizes her wrist with his free hand.) Josie Powell that was, prettiest deb in Dublin. How time flies by! Do you remember, harking back in a retrospective arrangement, Old Christmas night,º Georgina Simpson's housewarming while they were playing the Irving Bishop game, finding the pin blindfold and thoughtreading?º Subject, what is in this snuffbox?º

MRS BREEN

You were the lion of the night with your seriocomic recitation and you looked the part. ^|10You were always a favourite with the ladies.^10|
{u22, 423}

BLOOM

(^|10Squire of dames,^10| in dinner jacket with watered silk facingsº , ^|7blue masonic badge in his buttonhole,^7| black bow and mother-of-pearlº studs, a prismatic champagne glass tilted in his hand.) Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Ireland, home and beauty.

MRS BREEN

The dear dead days beyond recall. Love's old sweet song.
{u21, 494}

BLOOM

(Meaningfully dropping his voice.) I confess I'm teapot with curiosity to find out whether some person's something is a little teapot at present.

MRS BREEN

(Gushingly.) Tremendously teapot! London's teapot and I'm simply teapot all over me!º (She rubs sides with him.) After the parlour mystery games and the crackers from the tree we sat on the staircase ottoman. Under the mistletoe. Two is company.

BLOOM

(Wearing a purple Napoleon hat with an amber halfmoon, his fingers and thumb passing slowly down to her soft moist meaty palm which she surrenders gently.) ^|10The witching hour of night.^10| I took the splinter out of this hand, carefully, slowly. ^|7(Tenderly^|10, as he slips on her finger a ruby ring^10|.) Là ci darem la mano.^7|

MRS BREEN

(In a onepiece evening frock executed in moonlight blue, a tinsel sylph's diadem on her brow with her dancecard fallen beside her moonblue satin slipper, curves her palm softly, breathing quickly.) ^|7Voglio e non …º^7| You're hot! You're scalding! The left hand nearest the heart.

BLOOM

When you made your present choice they said it was beauty and the beast. ^|6I can never forgive you for that.^{6| |10}(His clenched fist at his brow.) Think what it means. All you meant to me then.^{10| |6|v7}(With choked sobs.)^{v7| |10}(Hoarsely.)^10| Woman, it's breaking me!^6|

(Denis Breen, whitetallhatted, with Wisdom Hely's sandwichboardsº , shuffles past them in carpet slippers, his dull beard thrust out, muttering to
{u22, 424}
right and left. Little Alf Bergan, cloaked in the pall of the ace of spades,º dogs him to left and right, doubled in laughter.)
{u21, 495}

ALF BERGAN

(Points jeering at the sandwich boards.) U. p: upº.

MRS BREEN

(To Bloom.) High jinks below stairs. (She gives him the glad eye.) Why didn't you kiss the spot to make it well?º You wanted to.

BLOOM

(Shocked.) Molly's best friend! Could you?

MRS BREEN

(Her pulpy tongue between her lips^|7, offers a pigeon kiss^7|.) Hnhn. The answer is a lemon. Have you a little present for me there?

BLOOM

(Offhandedly.) Kosher. A snack for supper. The home without potted meat is incomplete. I was at Leah, Mrs Bandmannº Palmer. Trenchant exponent of Shakespeare. Unfortunately threw away the programme. Rattling good place round there for pigs'º feet. Feel.

(Richie Goulding, three ladies' hats pinned on his head, appears weighted to one side by the black legal bag of ^|12Colles Collis^12| and Ward on which a skull and crossbones are painted in white limewash. He opens it and shows it full of polonies, kippered ^|10herring herrings^10|, Findon haddies and tightpacked pills.)

RICHIE

Best value in Dub.

(Bald Pat, bothered beetle, stands on the curbstone, folding his napkin, waiting to wait.)
{u21, 496}

PAT

^|7(Advances with a tilted dish of spillspilling gravy.)^7| Steak and kidney. Bottle of lager. Hee hee hee. Wait till I wait.
{u22, 425}

RICHIE

Goodgod. Inev erate inall …

(With hanging head he marches doggedly forward. The navvy, lurching by, gores him with his flaming pronghorn.)

RICHIE

(With a cry of pain, his hand to his back.) Ah! Bright's! Lights!

BLOOM

(Points to the navvy.) A spy. Don't attract attention. I hate stupid crowds. I am not on pleasure bent. I am in a grave predicament.

MRS BREEN

Humbuggingº and deluthering as per usual ^|7with your cock and bull story^7|.

BLOOM

I want to tell you a little secret about how I came to be here. But you must never tell. Not even Molly. I have a most particular reason.

MRS BREEN

(All agog.) O, not for worlds.

BLOOM

Let's walk on. ^|10Shall us?^10|
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MRS BREEN

Let's.

(The ⁽⁵blank bawdº⁵⁾ makes an unheeded sign. Bloom walks on with Mrs Breen. The terrier follows, whining piteously, wagging his tail.)

THE ⁽⁵blank BAWD⁵⁾

Jewman's melt!

BLOOM

(In an oatmeal sporting suit, a sprig of woodbine in the lapel, tony buff shirt, shepherd's plaid^|10,^10| Saint Andrew's cross scarftie, white spats, fawn dustcoat on his
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arm, tawny red brogues, fieldglasses in bandolier and a grey billycock hat.) Do you remember a long long time^|12,^12| years and years ago^|12,^12| just after Milly,º Marionette we called her, was weaned when we all went together to Fairyhouse races, was it?

MRS BREEN

(In smart Saxe tailormade, white velours hat and spider veil.) Leopardstown.

BLOOM

I mean, Leopardstown. And Molly won seven shillings on a three year old named Nevertell and coming home along by Foxrock in that old fiveseater shanderadan of a ^|12wagonette waggonette^12||10. You you^10| were in your heyday then and you had on that new hat of white velours with a surround of molefur that Mrs ^|10Galbraith Hayes^10| advised you to buy because it was marked down to nineteen and eleven, a bit of wire and an old rag of velveteen, and I'll lay ^|10you^10| what you like she did it on purpose …

MRS BREEN

She did, of course, the cat! ^|7Don't tell me!^7| Nice adviser!
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BLOOM

Because it didn't suit you one quarter as well as the other ducky little tammy toque with the bird of paradise wing in it that I admired on you and you honestly looked just too fetching in it though it was a pity to kill it, you cruel naughtyº creature, little mite of a thing with a heart the size of a fullstop.

MRS BREEN

(Squeezes his arm, simpers.) Naughty cruel I was!º

BLOOM

(Low, secretly, ever more rapidly.) And Molly was eating a sandwich of spiced beef out of Mrs Joe Gallaher's lunch basket. Frankly, though she had her advisers or admirers, I never cared much for her style. She was …

MRS BREEN

Too …

BLOOM

Yes. And Molly was laughing because Rogers and Maggot O'Reilly were
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mimicking a cock as we passed a farmhouse and Marcus Tertius Moses, the tea merchant, drove past us in a gig with his daughter, Dancer Moses was her name, and the poodle in her lap bridled up and you asked me if I ever heard or read or knew or came across …

MRS BREEN

(Eagerly.) Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

(She fades from his side. Followed by the whining dog he walks on towards hellsgates. In an archway a standing woman, ^|7bendin bent forward,^7| her feet apart, pisses cowily. Outside a shuttered pub a bunch of
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loiterers listen to a tale which their ^|10broken snouted brokensnoutedº^10| gaffer rasps out with raucous humour. An armless pair of them flop wrestling, growling, in maimed sodden playfight.)

THE GAFFER

(Crouches, his voiceº twisted in his snout.) And when Cairns came down from the scaffolding in Beaver streetº what was he after doing it into only into the bucket of porter that was there waiting on the shavings for Derwan's plasterers.

THE LOITERERS

(Guffaw ^|10with cleft palates^10|.) O jays!

(Their paintspeckled hats wag. Spattered with size and lime of their lodges they frisk limblessly about him.)

BLOOM

Coincidence too. They think it funny ^|6anything. Anything^6| but that.º Broad daylight. Trying to walk. Lucky no woman.

THE LOITERERS

Jays, that's a good one. Glauber salts. O jays^|12,^12| into the men's porter.

(Bloom passes. Cheap whores, singly, coupled, shawled, dishevelled, call from lanes, doors, corners.)
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THE WHORES

Are you going far, queer fellow?

How's your middle leg?

Got a match on you?

Eh^|10? Come, come^10| hereº till I stiffen it for you.

(He plodges through their sump towards the lighted street beyond. From a bulge of window curtains a gramophone rears a battered brazen
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trunk. In the shadow a shebeenkeeper haggles with the navvy and the two redcoats.)

THE NAVVY

(Belching.) Where's the bloody house?

THE SHEBEENKEEPER

Purdon street. Shilling a bottle of stout. Respectable woman.

THE NAVVY

(Gripping the two redcoats, staggers forward with them.) Come on, you British army!

PRIVATE CARR

(Behind his back.) He aint half balmy.

PRIVATE COMPTON

(Laughs.) What ho!

PRIVATE CARR

(To the navvy.) Portobello barracks canteen. You ask for Carr. Just Carr.

THE NAVVY

(Shouts.)

We are the boys. Of Wexford.

PRIVATE COMPTON

Say! What price the sergeantmajor?
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PRIVATE CARR

Bennett? He's my pal. I love old Bennett.

THE NAVVY

(Shouts.)

The galling chain.
And free our native land.

(He staggers forward, dragging them with him. Bloom stops^|10,^{10| |6}at fault^6|. The dog approachesº^|10, his tongue outlolling, panting^10|.)

BLOOM

Wildgoose chase this. Disorderly houses. Lord knows where they are gone. Drunks cover distance double quick. Nice mixup. Scene at Westland row. Then jump in first class with thirdº ticket. Then too far. ^|10Train with engine behind.^10| Might have taken me to Malahide or a siding for the night or collision. Second drink does it. Once is a dose. What am I following him for? Still, he's the best of that lot. If I hadn't heard about Mrs Beaufoy Purefoy I wouldn't have gone and wouldn't have met. Kismet. He'll lose that cash. Relieving office here. Good biz for cheapjacks, organs. What do ye lack? Soon got, soon gone. Might have lost my life too with that mangongwheeltracktrolleyglarejuggernaut only for presence of mind. Can't always save you, though. If I had passed Truelock's window that day two minutes ^|10late later^10| would have been shot. Absence of body. Still if bullet only went through my coat get damages for shock, five hundred pounds. What was he? Kildare street club toff. God help his gamekeeper.

(He gazes ahead,º reading on the wall a scrawled chalk legend Wet Dream and a phallic design.)

Odd!º Molly drawing on the frosted carriagepane at Kingstown. What's that like?

(Gaudyº dollwomen loll in the lighted doorways, in window embrasures,
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smoking birdseye cigarettes. The odour of the sicksweetº weed floats towards him in slow round ovalling wreaths.)

THE WREATHS

Sweet are the sweets. Sweets of sin.

BLOOM

My spine's a bit limp. Go or turn? And this food? Eat it and get all
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pigsticky. Absurd I am. Waste of money. One and eightpenceº too much. (The retriever drives a cold snivelling muzzle against his hand, wagging his tail.) Strange how they take to me. Even that brute today. Better speak to him first. Like women they like ^|11rencontres rencontres^11|. Stinks like a polecat. ^|10Chacun son goût Chacun son goût^10|. He might be mad. ⁽⁵Dogdays Fidoº⁵⁾. Uncertain in his movements. Good fellow! ^|7Fido! Good fellow! Garryowen!º^7| (The ^|10retriever wolfdog^10| sprawls on his back, wriggling obscenely with begging paws, his long black tongue lolling out.) Influence of his surroundings. Give and have done with it. Provided nobody. (Calling encouraging words he shambles back with a furtive poacher's tread, dogged by the ^|10retriever setter^10| into a dark stalestunk corner. He unrolls one parcel and goes to dump the crubeen softly but holds back and feels the trotter.) Sizeable for threepence. But then I have it in my left hand. Calls for more effort. Why? Smaller from want of use. O, let it slide. Two and six.

(With regret he lets theº unrolled crubeen and trotter slide. The ^|10retriever mastiff^10| mauls the bundle clumsily and gluts ⁽⁵blank himself⁵⁾ with growling greed, crunching the bones. Two raincaped watch approach, silent, vigilant. They murmur together.)

THE WATCH

Bloom. Of Bloom. For Bloom. Bloom.

(Each lays hand on Bloom's shoulder.)
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FIRST WATCH

Caught in the act. Commit no nuisance.

BLOOM

(Stammers.) I am doing good to others.

(A covey of gulls, storm petrels, ^|7rise rises^7| hungrily from Liffey slime with Banbury cakes in their beaks.)

THE GULLS

^|6Caw! Kaw kave kankury kake.^6|

BLOOM

The friend of man. Trained by kindness.

(He points. Bob Doran, toppling from a high barstool, sways over the munching ^|10retriever spaniel^10|.)
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BOB DORAN

Towser. Give us the paw. Give the paw.

(The ^|10dog bulldog^10| growls, his scruff standing, a gobbet of pig's knuckle between his molars ^|10through which rabid scumspittle dribbles^10|. Bob Doran falls silently into an area.)

SECOND WATCH

Prevention of cruelty to animals.

BLOOM

(Enthusiastically.) A noble work! I scolded that tramdriver on Harold's cross bridge for illusing the poor horse with his harness scab. Bad ^|6language French^6| I got for my pains. Of course it was frosty and the last tram. All tales of circus life are highly demoralising.
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(Signor Maffei, passionpaleº , in liontamer's costume with diamondº studs in his shirtfront^(err,º^err) steps forward, holding ^|10a circus paper hoop,^10| a curling carriagewhip and a revolver with which he covers the gorging ^|10dog ^|abearcub ^|12cub boarhound^12|a|10|.)º

SIGNOR MAFFEI

(With a sinister smile.) Ladies and gentlemen, my educated greyhound. It was I broke in the bucking broncho Ajax with my patent spiked saddle ^|10for carnivores^10|. Lash under the belly with a knotted thong. Block tackle and a strangling pulleyº will bring your lion to heel, no matter how fractious, even ^|11Leo ferox Leo ferox^11| there, the Libyan maneater. A redhot crowbar and some liniment rubbing on the burning part produced Fritz of Amsterdam, the thinking hyena. (He glares.) I possess the Indian sign. The glint of my eye does it with these breastsparklers. (With a bewitching smile.) I now introduce Mademoiselle Ruby, the pride of the ring.

FIRST WATCH

Come. Name and address.

BLOOM

⁽⁷I have forgotten for the moment. Ah, yes!⁷⁾ (⁽⁷He⁷⁾ takes off his high grade hat, saluting.) Dr Bloom, Leopold, dental surgeon. You have heard of ^|11von^11| Blumº Pasha. Umpteen millions. ^|11Donnerwetter!^11| Owns half Austria. Egypt. Cousin.
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FIRST WATCH

Proof.

(A card falls from inside the leather headband of Bloom's hat.)

BLOOM

(In red fez, cadi's dress coat with broad green sash, ^|11wearing a false
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badge of the Legion of Honour,^11| picks up the card hastily and offers it.) Allow me. ⁽⁷My club is the Junior Army and Navy. Solicitors: Messrs John Henry Menton, 27 Bachelor's Walk.⁷⁾

FIRST WATCH

(Reads.) Henry Flower. No fixed abode. Unlawfully watching and besetting.

SECOND WATCH

An alibi. You are cautioned.

BLOOM

(Produces from his heartpocket a crumpled yellow flower.) This is the flower in question. ^|10It was given me by a man I don't know his name.^10| (Plausibly.) You know that old joke, rose of Castile. Bloom. The change of name. Virag. (He murmurs privately and confidentially.) We are engaged you see^|7, sergeant^7|. Lady in the case. Love entanglement. (He shoulders the second watch gently.) Dash it all. It's a way we ^|10gallants^10| have in the navy. Uniform that does it. (He turns gravely to the first watch.) Still, of course, you do get your Waterloo sometimes. ^|10Drop in some evening and have a glass of old Burgundy.^{10| |7}(To the second watchº gaily.) I'll introduce you, inspector. She's game. Do it in the shake of a lamb's tail.^7|

(A dark mercurialised face appears, leading a veiled figure.)

^|7THE DARK MERCURY^7|

^|7|11That man is Leopold M'intosh, wanted for wilful murder of Samuel Childs.^{11| |10}The Castle is looking for him. He was drummed out of the army.^10|7|

MARTHA

(Thickveiled, a crimson halter round her neck, a copy of the Irish Times in her hand, in tone of reproach, pointing.) Henry! Leopold! ⁽¹¹Leopold!¹¹⁾ Lionel, thou lost one! Clear my name.
{u21, 506}
{u22, 433}

FIRST WATCH

(Sternly.) Come to the station.

BLOOM

(Scared, ^|13makes Masonic signs hats himself, steps back^(err,º^err) then, plucking at his heart and lifting his right forearm ⁽¹⁸on^{18) |a}the^a| square, he gives the sign and dueguard of fellowcraft^13|.) No, no, ^|13worshipful master,^13| light of love^|13; mistaken. Mistaken^13| identity. The Lyons mail. Lesurques and Dubosc. You remember the Childs fratricide case. We medical men. By striking him dead with a hatchet.º I am wrongfully accused. Better one guilty escape than ninetynine wrongfully condemned.

MARTHA

(Sobbing behind her veil.) Breach of promise. ^|7My real name is Peggy Griffin.^7| He wrote to me that he was miserable. I'll tell my brother, the ^|7footballer Bective rugger fullback^7|, on you, heartless flirt.

^|7BLOOM^7|

^|7(Behind his hand.) She's drunk. The woman is ^|anot sober inebriated^a|. (He ^|13hums carelessly murmurs vaguely the passº of Ephraim^13|.) ^|13Shitbroleeth.^13|7|

SECOND WATCH

(Tears in his eyes, to Bloom.) You ought to be thoroughly well ashamed of yourself.

BLOOM

Gentlemen of the jury, let me explain. A pure mare's nest. I am a man misunderstood. I am being made a scapegoat of. I am a respectable married man, without a stain on my character. I live in Eccles street. My wife, ^|6I am^6| the daughter of a most distinguished commander, ^|6a gallant upstanding gentleman, ^|7what do you call him,^{7|6| |12}Major general Majorgeneral^12| Brian Tweedy, one of Britain's fighting men who helped to win our battles. ^|12Got his majority for the heroic defence of Rorke's Drift.^12|
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FIRST WATCH

Regiment.

BLOOM

(Turns to the gallery.) The royal Dublins, boys, ^|13the salt of the earth,^13| known the world over. ^|7I think I see some old comrades in arms up there
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among you. The R.D.F.º^7| With our own Metropolitan police, guardians of our homes, the pluckiest lads and the finest body of men, as physique, in the service ^|7of our sovereign^7|.

A VOICE

Turncoat! Up the Boers! Who booed Joe Chamberlain?

BLOOM

(His hand on the shoulder of the first watch.) My old dad too was a J.P. I'm as staunch a Britisher as you are, sir. I fought ^|7with the colours^7| for king and country ^|6|7and was disabled^7|6| in the absentminded war ^|12under general Gough in the park^{12| |7}and was disabled^7| at Spion Kop and Bloemfontein^|12,^12| was mentioned in dispatches. I did all a white man could. (With quiet feeling.) Jim Bludso. Hold her nozzle again the bank.

FIRST WATCH

Profession or trade.

BLOOM

Well, I follow a literary occupation, author-journalistº. In fact we are just bringing out a collection of prize stories of which I am the inventor, something that is an entirely new departure. I am connected with the British and Irish press. If you ring up …

(Myles Crawford strides out jerkily, a quill between his teeth. His scarlet beak blazes within the aureole of his straw hat. He dangles a hank
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of Spanish onions in one hand and holds with the other hand a telephone receiver nozzle to his ear.)

MYLES CRAWFORD

^|6(His cock's wattles wagging.)^6| Hello, seventyseven eightfour. Hello. ^|13Freeman's Urinal Freeman's Urinal^13| and ^|13Weekly Arsewiper Weekly Arsewiper^13|º here. Paralyse Europe. You which? Bluebags? Who writes? Is it Bloom?

(Mr Philip Beaufoy, palefaced, stands in the witnessbox, in accurate morning dress, outbreast pocket with peak of handkerchief showing, creased lavender trousers and patent boots. He carries a large portfolio labelled Matcham's Masterstrokes.)
{u22, 435}

BEAUFOY

(Drawls.) No, you aren't^|7. Not, notº by a long shot^7| if I know it. I don't see it, that's all. No born gentleman, no-oneº with the most rudimentary promptings of a gentleman would stoop to such ^|7perfectly particularly^7| loathsome conduct. One of those, my lord. A plagiarist. A soapy sneak masquerading as a littérateurº. It's perfectly obvious that ^|7with the most inherent baseness^7| he has cribbed some of my bestselling copyº, really gorgeous stuff, a perfect gem^|12,^{12| |7}the love passages in which are beneath suspicion^7|. The Beaufoy books ^|12of love and great possessions^|13,º^13|12| with which your lordship is doubtless familiar^|13,^13| are a household word throughout the kingdom.

BLOOM

(Murmurs with hangdog meeknessº.) That bit about the laughing witch hand in hand I take exception to, if I may …

BEAUFOY

(His lip upcurled^|13,^13| smiles superciliously on the court.) You funny ass, you! ^|7You're too beastly awfully ^|aamusing weird^a| for words!^7| I don't think you need over excessively disincommodate yourself in that regard. My
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literary agent Mr J.B. Pinker is in attendance. I presume, my lord, we shall receive the usual witnesses' fees, shan't we?º We are considerably out of pocket over this bally pressman johnny^|7, this jackdaw of Rheims,^{7| |6}who has not ^|aeven^a| been to a university^6|.

BLOOM

(Indistinctly.) ^|6University of life^|7:.^7|6| Bad art.

BEAUFOY

(Shouts.) It's a damnably foul lie ^|6showing the moral rottenness of the man^6|! (He extends his portfolio.) We have here ^|6damning evidence,º^6| the corpus delicti, my lord, a specimen of my maturer work disfigured by the hallmark of the beast.

A VOICE FROM THE GALLERY

Moses, Moses, king of the jews^|13,^13|
Wiped his arse in the ^|13Daily News Daily News^13|.
{u22, 436}

BLOOM

(Bravely.)º Overdrawn.

BEAUFOY

You low cad! You ought to be ducked in the horsepond^|7, you rotter^7|! (To the court.) Why^(err,º^err) look at the man's private life! Leading a ^|7double quadruple^7| existence! Street angel and house devil. ^|6Not fit to be mentioned in mixed society^|7!.^7|6| The archconspiratorº of the age!º

BLOOM

(To the court.) And he, a bachelor, how …
{u21, 510}

FIRST WATCH

^|6The King versus Bloom.^6| Call the woman Driscoll.

THE CRIER

Mary Driscoll, scullerymaid!

(Mary Driscoll, a slipshod servant girl^(err,º^err) approaches. She has a bucket on the crook of her arm and a scouringbrush in her hand.)

SECOND WATCH

Another! Are you of the unfortunate class?

MARY DRISCOLL

(Indignantly.) I'm not a bad one. I bear a respectable character ^|12and was four months in my last place^12|. I was in a situation, six pounds a year and my chances with Fridays out^(err,º^err) and I had to leave owing to his carryings on.

FIRST WATCH

What do you tax him with?

MARY DRISCOLL

He made a certain suggestion but I thought more of myself as poor as I am.

BLOOM

(In housejacket of ripplecloth,º flannel trousers, heelless slippers, unshaven^|6,º^6| his hair rumpled:º softly.) ^|6I treated you white.^6| I gave you mementos, smart emerald
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garters far above your station. Incautiously I took your part when you were accused of pilfering. There's a medium in all things. Play cricket.
{u21, 511}

MARY DRISCOLL

(Excitedly.) As God is looking down on me this night if ever I laid a hand to them oylsters!

FIRST WATCH

The offence complained of? ^|13Did something happen?^13|

MARY DRISCOLL

He surprised me in the rere of the premises, yourº honour, when the missus was out shopping one morning with a request for a safety pin. He held me and I was discoloured in four places as a result. And he interfered ^|6twict^6| with my clothing.

BLOOM

She counterassaulted.

MARY DRISCOLL

(Scornfully.) I had more respect for the scouringbrushº, so I had. I remonstrated with him, yourº lord, and he remarked: keepº it quiet.º

(General laughter.)

GEORGEº FOTTRELL

(Clerk of the crown and peace, resonantly.) Order in court! The accused will now make a ^|13bogus^13| statement.

(Bloom, pleading not guilty and holding a fullblown waterlily, begins a long unintelligible speech. They would hear what counsel had to say in his stirring address ^|6to the grand juryº^6|. He was down and out but, thoughº branded as a black sheep, if he might say so, he meant to reform, to retrieve the ^|13memory of the^13| past ^|13in a purely sisterly way^13| and return to nature as a purely domestic animal. A ^|13sevenmonths' seven months'º^13| child,º he had been carefully brought up and nurtured by an aged
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^|7bedridden^7| parent. There might have been lapses ^|13of an erring father^13| but he wanted to ^|7turn over a new leaf and^{7| |13}now, when at long last in sight of the whipping post, to^13| lead a homely life ^|7in the evening of his days^7|, permeated by ^|12the^12| affectionate
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surroundings ^|12of the heaving bosom of the family^12|. ^|7An acclimatised Britisher^{7| |12}He, he^12| had seen that ^|7evening summer eve ^|13from the footplate of an engine cab of the Loop line railway company^{13| |12}while the rain refrained from falling glimpses, as it were,^12|7| through the windows of loveful households in Dublin city^|12,^12| and urban district ^|12of^12| scenes ^|7truly rural^7| of happiness of the better land with Dockrell's wallpaper at one and ninepence a dozen, ^|7innocent ^|13Britishborn^13| bairns lisping prayers to the Sacred Infant,^7| youthful scholars grappling with their pensums ^|12or,º^{12| |7|a}bashful virgins model young ladies^a| playing on the ^|13piano pianoforte^13| or anon all with fervour^7| reciting the family rosary round the crackling Yulelog while in the boreens and green lanes the colleens with their swains strolled what times the strains of the organtoned melodeon ^|13(errBrittania Britanniaº^19)13| metalbound with four acting stops ^|7and ^|13twelve fold bellows twelvefold bellows,^13|7| a sacrifice, greatest bargain ever …⁽⁵)⁵⁾

(Renewed laughter. ^|7He mumbles incoherently.^7| Reporters complain that they cannot hear.)

^|7LONGHAND AND SHORTHAND^7|

^|7|12(Without looking up from their notebooks.)^12| Loosen his boots.^7|

PROFESSOR MACHUGH

(From the presstable, coughs and calls.) Coughº it up, man. Get it out in bits.

(The crossexamination proceeds re Bloom and the bucket. A large bucket. Bloom himself. Bowel trouble. In Beaver street. ^|13Gripe, yes.^13| Quite bad. A plasterer's bucket. By walking stifflegged. ^|6Suffered untold misery.^6| Deadly agony. About noon. Love or burgundy. Yes, some spinach. Crucial moment. He did not look in the bucket. Nobody. Rather a mess. Not completely. A Titbits back number.)
{u21, 513}

(Uproar and catcallsº. ^|12Bloom^(err,º^err) in a torn frockcoat stained with whitewash, dinged silk hat sideways on his head, a strip of stickingplaster across his nose, talks inaudibly.^12|)

J.J. O'MOLLOY

(In barrister's grey wig and stuffgown, speaking with a voice of pained protest.) This is no place for indecent levity ^|12at the ^|13expensive expense^13| of an erring mortal disguised in liquor^12|. We are not in a beargarden ^|7nor at an Oxford rag^7| nor is this
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a travesty of justice. My client is ^|7an infant,^7| a poor foreign immigrant ^|7who started scratch ^|aas a stowaway^a| and is now^7| trying to turn an honest penny. The ^|6trumped up^6| misdemeanour was due to a momentary aberration of heredity, brought on by hallucination, such familiarities ^|7as the alleged guilty occurrence^7| being quite permitted in my client's native place^|12,^12| the land of the Pharaoh. ^|7Prima facie^|12, ^|aI put it to you that^a| there was no attempt at carnally knowing.^12|7| Intimacy did not occur and the offence complained of ^|6by Driscoll^|7, that her virtue was ^|12attempted solicited^12|,^7|6| was not repeated. ^|12I would deal in especial with atavism.^12| There have been cases of shipwreck and ⁽⁵sonambulism somnambulismº⁵⁾ in my client's family⁽⁵.^{5) |12|a}His story is If the accused could speak he could a ^|13tail tale^13| unfold —º^a| one of the strangest that have ever been narrated between the covers of a book.^{12| (5}blank He himself^|12, my lord,^12|5) is a physical wreck from cobbler's weak chest ^|7|12and is about to become a mother^12|7|. His submission is that he is of Mongolian extraction and irresponsible for his actions. Not all there, in fact.

BLOOM

(Barefoot, pigeonbreasted, in lascar's vest and trousers, apologetic toes turned in, opens his tiny mole's eyes and looks about him dazedly, passing a slow hand across his forehead. Then he hitches his belt sailor fashion and with a shrug of oriental obeisance salutes the court, pointing one thumb heavenward.) Him makee velly muchee fine night. (He begins to lilt simply.)
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Li li poo lil chile
Blingee pigfoot evly nightº
Payee two shilly …

(He is howled down.)

J.J. O'MOLLOY

(Hotly to the populace.) This is a lonehand fight. ^|12By Hades,^12| I will not have any client of mine gagged and badgered in this fashion by a pack of curs ^|12and laughing hyenas^12|. The Mosaic code has superseded the law of the jungle. I say it and I say it emphatically^|13,º without wishing for ^|aa one^a| moment to defeat the ends of justice,^{13| |12}he accusedº^12| was not accessory before the act and ^|7the girl prosecutrixº^7| has not been tampered with. ^|7|12She The young person^12| was treated by defendant as if she were his ^|avery^a| own daughter. (Bloom takes J.J. O'Molloy's hand and raises it to his lips.)^7| I shall call rebutting evidence to prove up to the hilt that the hidden hand is again at its old game. When in doubt persecute Bloom. My client^|7, an innately bashful man,^7| would be the last man in the world to ^|12do anything ungentlemanly or to which injured modesty could object to
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or^12| cast a stone at ⁽⁵a⁵⁾ girl who took the wrong turning when some dastard^|7, responsible for her condition,^7| had worked his own sweet will on her. He wants to go straight. ^|6I regard him as the whitest man I know.^6| He is down on his luck at present owing to the mortgaging of his extensive property at Agendath Netaim^|7, in faraway^7| Asia Minor, slides of which will now be shown. ^|6He offers a penny in the pound. (To Bloom.) I suggest ^|7that^7| you will ^|7now^7| do the handsome thing.

BLOOM

A penny in the pound.^6|

(The imageº of the lake of Kinnereth with blurred cattle cropping in silver haze is projected onº the wall. Moses Dlugacz, ferreteyed ^|7albino^7|, in blue dungarees, stands up in the gallery, holding in each hand an orange citron and a pork kidney.)
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DLUGACZ

(Hoarsely.) Bleibtreustrasse, Berlin, ^(errW, W.º^err) 13º.

(J.J. O'Molloy steps on to a low plinth and holds the lapel of his coat with solemnity. His face lengthens, grows pale and bearded, with sunken eyes, the blotches of phthisis and hectic cheekbones of John F. Taylor. He applies his handkerchief to his mouth and scrutinises the galloping tide of rosepink blood.)º

J.J. O'MOLLOY

(Almost voicelessly.) Excuse me, I am suffering from a severe chill^|6, have recently come from a sickbed^6|. A few wellchosen words. (He assumes the avine head, foxy moustache and ^|7nasal proboscidal^7| eloquence of Seymour Bushe.) When the angel's book comes to be opened if aught that the pensive bosom has inaugurated of ⁽⁵soul-transfigured ^|12soul transfigured soultransfigured^12|5) and of ⁽⁵soul-transfiguring ^|12soul transfiguring soultransfiguring^12|5) deserves to live I say accord the prisoner at the bar the sacred benefit of the doubt.

^|12(Aº paper with something written on it is handed into court.)^12|

BLOOM

^|6(In court dress.)^6| Can give best references. Messrs Callan, Coleman. Mr Wisdom Hely J.P. ^|7My old chief Joe Cuffe.^7| Mr V.B. Dillon, ^|s13ex lord ex-lord^s13| mayor of Dublin. I have moved in the ^|6highest circles charmed circle of the highest … Queens of Dublin societyº^6|. (Carelessly.) I was just chatting this afternoon at the viceregal lodge to ^|6my old ^|7friend ^|13pal pals^13|7|,^6| sir Robert and lady Ball, astronomer royal^|6, at the levee. Sir Bob, I said^6| …
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MRS YELVERTON BARRY

(In lowcorsaged opal balldress and elbowlength ivory gloves, wearing a sabletrimmed brick quilted dolman, a comb of brilliants ^|7and panache of osprey^7| in her hair.) Arrest him, constable. He wrote me an anonymous letter in prentice backhand when my husband was ^|12on the Leinster in the North Riding of Tipperary on the Munster^12| circuit, signed James Lovebirch. He
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said that he had seen from the gods my peerless globes as I sat in a box of the Theatre Royal at a command performance of La Cigale. I deeply inflamed him, he said. He made improper overtures to me to misconduct myself at half past four p.m. on the following Thursday, Dunsink time. He offered to send me through the post a work of fiction by Monsieur Paul de Kock, entitled The Girl with the Three Pairs of Stays.

MRS BELLINGHAM

(In cap and seal ^|13coney^13| mantle, wrapped up to the nose, steps out of her brougham and scans through tortoiseshell quizzing-glasses which she takes from inside her huge opossum muff.) Also to me. Yes, I believe it is the same objectionable person. Because he closed my carriage door outside sir Thornley Stoker's one sleety day during the cold snap of February ^|12ninetyfive ninetythree^12| when even the grid of the wastepipe and theº ballstop in my bath cistern were frozen. Subsequently he enclosed a bloom of edelweiss culled on the heights, as he said, in my honour. I had it examined by a botanical expert and elicited the information that it was a blossom of the homegrown potato plant purloined from a forcingcase of the model farm.

MRS YELVERTON BARRY

Shame on him!

(A crowd of sluts and ragamuffins surges forward.)

THE SLUTS AND RAGAMUFFINS

(Screaming.) Stop thief! Hurrah there, Bluebeard! Three cheers for Ikey Mo!

SECOND WATCH

(Produces handcuffs.) Here are the darbies.
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MRS BELLINGHAM

He addressed me in several handwritings with fulsome compliments as a
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Venus in furs and alleged profound pity for my frostbound coachman Palmerº while in the same breath he expressed himself as envious of his earflaps and fleecyº sheepskins and of his fortunate proximity to my person^|12, when standing behind my chair wearing my livery and the ^|13arms armorial bearings^13| of the Bellingham escutcheon garnished sable, a buck's head couped or^12|. He lauded almost extravagantly my nether extremities, my swelling calves in silk hose drawn up to the limit^(err,º^err) and eulogised glowingly my other hidden treasures in priceless lace which, he said, he could conjure up. He urged me^|12,^{12| (5}(⁵⁾stating that he felt it his mission in life to urge me⁽⁵)^5)|12,^12| to defile the marriage bed, to commit adultery at the earliest possible opportunity.

THE HONOURABLE MRS ^|12PAGET BUTLER MERVYN TALBOYS^12|

(In amazon costume, hard hat, jackboots cockspurred, ^|13vermillion vermilion^13| waistcoat, fawn musketeer gauntlets with braided drums, long train held up and hunting crop with which she strikes her welt constantly.) Also me. Because he saw me on the polo ground of the Phoenixº park at the match All Ireland versus the Rest of Ireland. My eyes, I know, shone divinely as I watched Captain Slogger Dennehy of the Inniskillings win the final ^|6chukka chukkar on his darling cob Centaur^6|. This plebeian Don Juan observed me from behind a hackney car and sent me in double envelopes an obscene photograph, ^|7such as are sold after dark in on Paris boulevards,^7| insulting to any lady. I have it still. It represents a partially nude señorita, frail and lovely (his wife,º as he solemnly assured me^|6, taken by him from nature^6|)^(err,º^err) practising illicit intercourse with a muscular torero, evidently a blackguard. He urged me to do likewise, to misbehave, to sin with officers of the garrison. He implored me to ^|7soil his letter in an unspeakable manner, to^7| chastise him as he richly deserves, to bestride and ride him, to give him a most vicious horsewhipping.
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MRS BELLINGHAM

Me too.

MRS YELVERTON BARRY

Me too.

^|7(Several highly respectable Dublin ladies hold up improper letters received from Bloom.)^7|
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THE HONOURABLE MRS ^|12PAGET BUTLER MERVYN TALBOYS^12|

(Stamps her jingling spurs in ^|7a^7| sudden ^|7paroxysm ofº^7| fury.) I will, by the God above me. I'll scourge the pigeonlivered cur ^|7as long as I can stand over him^7|. I'll flay him alive.

BLOOM

(His eyes closing, quails expectantly.) Here? (He squirms.) Again! ^|12(He pants ^|acringing^a|.) I love the danger.^12|

THE HONOURABLE MRS ^|12PAGET BUTLER MERVYN TALBOYS^12|

Very much so! I'll make it hot for you. I'll make you dance Jack Latten for that.

^|12MRS BELLINGHAM

Tan his breech well, the upstart! ^|13Write the stars and stripes on it!^13|12|

MRS YELVERTONº BARRY

Disgraceful! ^|6There's no excuse for him! A married man!^6|

BLOOM

All these people. I meant only the spanking idea. A warm tingling glow without effusion. ^|6Refined birching ^|13to stimulate the circulation^13|.^6|
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THE HONOURABLE MRS ^|12PAGET BUTLER MERVYN TALBOYS^12|

(Laughs derisively.) O, did you, my fine fellow? Well, ^|6by the living God,^6| you'll get the surprise of your life now, believe me, the most unmerciful hiding a man ever bargained for. You have lashed the dormant tigress in my nature into fury.

^|12MRS YELVERTON BARRY

Shame!^12|

MRS BELLINGHAM

(Shakes her muff and quizzing-glasses vindictively.) Make him smart^|13, Hanna dear^13|. ^|6Give him ginger^|12.^12|6| Thrash the mongrel within an inch of his life. ^|6The ^|7cat o' nine tails ^(errcat-o'-nine tails cat-o'-nine-tailsº^19)7|.^6| Geld him. Vivisect him.

BLOOM

(Shuddering, shrinking, joins his hands:º with hangdog mien.) ^|7O cold! O shivery!^7| It was your ambrosial beauty. Forget, forgive. Kismet. Let me off this once. (He offers the other cheek.)
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^|13MRS YELVERTON BARRY

^|a(Severely.)^a| Don't do so on any account, Mrs Tallb Talboys! He should be soundly trounced!^13|

THE HONOURABLE MRS ^|12PAGET BUTLER MERVYN TALBOYS^12|

^|7(Unbuttoning her gauntlet ^|13violently^13|.)^7| I'll do no such thing. Pigdogº ^|6, to and always was ever since he was pupped! To^6| dare address me! I'll flog him black and blue in the public streets. I'll dig my spurs in him up to the rowel. He is a wellknown cuckold. (She swishes her huntingcrop savagely in the air.) Take down his trousers without loss of time. ^|7Come here, sir!^7| Quick! ^|7Ready?

BLOOM

(Trembling, beginning to obey.) The weather ^|12is has been^12| so warm.^7|

^|7(Davy Stephens, ringletted, passes with a bevy of barefoot newsboys.)
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DAVY STEPHENS

^|12|13Messenger of the Sacred Heart Messenger of the Sacred Heart^13| and^{12| |13}Evening Telegraph Evening Telegraph^13| with Saint Patrick's Day supplementº. Containing the new ^|12address addresses^12| of all the cuckolds in Dublin.^7|

(The very reverend Canon O'Hanlon in cloth of gold cope elevates and exposes a marble timepiece. Before him Father Conroy and the reverend John Hughes S.J. bend low.)

THE TIMEPIECE

(Unportalling.)

Cuckoo.
Cuckoo.
Cuckoo.

(The brass quoits of a bed are heard to jingle.)

THE QUOITS

Jigjag.º Jigajiga. Jigjag.

(A panel of fog rolls back rapidly, revealing rapidly in the ⁽⁵jury box juryboxº⁵⁾ the faces of Martin Cunningham, foreman, silkhatted, Jack Power, Simon Dedalus, Tom Kernan, Ned Lambert, John Henry Menton, Myles Crawford, Lenehan, Paddy Leonard, Nosey Flynn, M'Coy and the featureless face of a Nameless One.)
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THE NAMELESS ONE

Bareback riding. Weight for age. Gob, he organised her.

THE JURORS

(All their heads turned to his voice.) Really?
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THE NAMELESS ONE

(Snarls.) Arse over tip. Hundred shillings to five.

THE JURORS

(All their heads ^|6bowed lowered^6| in assent.) Most of us thought as much.

FIRST WATCH

He is a marked man. Another girl's plait cut. Wanted: Jack the Ripper. A thousand pounds reward.

SECOND WATCH

(Awed, whispers.) And in black. A mormon. Anarchist.

THE CRIER

(Loudly.) Whereas Leopold Bloom of no fixed abode is a wellknown dynamitard, forger, bigamist, bawd and cuckold and a public nuisance to the citizens of Dublin and whereas at this commission of assizes the most honourable …

(His Honour, sir Frederick Falkiner, recorder of Dublin,º in judicial garb of grey stone rises from the bench, stonebearded. He bears in his arms an umbrella sceptre. From his forehead arise starkly the Mosaic ramshorns.)

THE RECORDER

I will put an end to this white slave traffic ^|7and rid Dublin of this ^|aodious^a| pest^7|. Scandalous! ^|7(He dons the black cap.)^7| Let him be taken^|6, Mr Subsheriff,º^6| from the dock where he now stands and detained in custody in Mountjoy prison during His Majesty's pleasure and there be hanged by the neck until he
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is dead and therein fail not at your peril ^|13or may the Lord have mercy on your soul^13|. ^|7Remove him.^7| (A black skullcap descends upon his head.)
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^|7⇒^{7| |6|7}(^7|The subsheriff Long John Fanning appears ^|7holding, smoking^7| a pungent Henry Clay.^|7)^7|

LONG JOHN FANNING

(Scowls and calls with rich rolling utterance.) Who'll hang Judas Iscariot?^6|

(H. Rumbold, master barber, in a bloodcoloured jerkin and tanner's apron, a rope coiled over his shoulder,º mounts the block. A life preserver and a nailstudded bludgeon are stuck in his belt. He rubs grimly his grappling hands, knobbed with knuckledusters.)

RUMBOLD

(To the recorder with sinister familiarity.) Hanging Harry, your Majesty, the Mersey terror. Five guineas a jugular. ^|6Neck or nothing.^6|

(The bells of George's church toll slowly, loud dark iron.)

THE BELLS

Heigho! Heigho!

BLOOM

(Desperately.) Wait. Stop. Gulls. Good heart. I saw. Innocence. Girl in the monkeyhouse. Zoo. Lewd chimpanzeeº. (Breathlessly.) Pelvic basin. Her artless blush^|13. Unmanned unmanned^13| me. (Overcome with emotion.) I left the precincts. ^|7(He turns to a figure in the crowd, appealing.) Hynes, may I speak to you? You know me. That three shillings you can keep. If you want a little more …^7|

^|7HYNES

(Coldly.) You are a perfect stranger.^7|
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SECOND WATCH

(Points to the corner.) The bomb is here.

FIRST WATCH

Infernal machine with a time fuse.
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BLOOM

No, no. Pig's feet. I was at a funeral.

FIRST WATCH

(Draws his truncheon.) Liar!

(The ^|12dog beagle^12| liftsº his snout, showing the grey scorbutic face of Paddy Dignam. He has gnawed all. ^|7He exhales a putrid carcasefed breath.^7| He grows to human size and shape. His ^|12retriever dachshund^12| coat becomes a brown mortuary habit. His green eye flashes bloodshot. Half of one ear, all the nose and both thumbs are ghouleaten.)

PADDY DIGNAM

(In a hollow voice.) It is true. Itº was my funeral. Doctor Finucane pronounced life extinct when I succumbed to the disease from natural causes.

(He lifts his mutilated ashen face moonwards and bays lugubriously.)

BLOOM

(In triumph.) You hear?

PADDY DIGNAM

Bloom, I am Paddy Dignam's spirit⁽⁵.⁵⁾ List, list, O list!

BLOOM

The voice is the voice of Esau.
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SECOND WATCH

(Blesses himself.) How is that possible⁽⁵?⁵⁾

FIRST WATCH

It is not in the penny catechism.

PADDY DIGNAM

By metempsychosis. Spooks.

A VOICE

O rocks.
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PADDY DIGNAM

(Earnestly.) Once I was in the employ of Mr J.H. Menton,º solicitor, commissioner for oaths and affidavits, of 27 Bachelor's Walk. Now I am defunct, the wall of the heart hypertrophied. Hard lines. The poor wife was awfully cut up. How is she bearing it? Keep her off that bottle of sherry. (He looks round him.) A lamp. I must satisfy an animal need. That buttermilk didn't agree with me.

(The portly figure of John O'Connell, caretaker, stands forth, holding a bunch of keys tied with crape. Beside him stands Father Coffey, chaplain, toadbellied, wrynecked, in a surplice and bandanna nightcap, holding sleepily a staff of twisted poppies.)

FATHER COFFEY

(Yawns⁽⁵:,⁵⁾ then chants with a hoarse croak.) Namine. Jacobs.º Vobiscuits. Amen.

JOHN O'CONNELL

(Foghorns stormily through his megaphone.) Dignam, Patrick T, deceased.
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PADDY DIGNAM

(With pricked up ears, winces.) Overtones. (He wriggles forward andº places an ear to the ground.) My master's voice!

JOHN O'CONNELL

Burial docket letter number U.P. eightyfiveº thousand. Field seventeen. House of Keys.º Plot, one hundred and one.

(Paddy Dignam listens with visible effort, thinking, his tail stiffpointed, his ears cocked.)

PADDY DIGNAM

Pray for the repose of his soul.

(He worms down through a coalhole, his brown habit trailing its tether over rattling pebbles. After him toddles an obese grandfather rat on fungus turtle paws under a grey carapace. Dignam's voice, muffled, is heard baying under ground: Dignam's dead and gone below. Tom Rochford, robinredbreasted, in cap and breeches, jumps from his twocolumned machine.)
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TOM ROCHFORD

(A hand to his breastbone, bows.) Reuben J. A florin I find him. (He fixes the manhole with a resolute stare.) My turn now on. Follow me up to Carlow.

(He executes a daredevil salmon leap in the air and is engulfed in the coalhole. Two discs on the columns wobble eyes of nought. All recedes. Bloom plodges forward again ⁽⁵through the sump. Kisses chirp amid the rifts of fog. A piano sounds⁵⁾.º He stands before a lighted house, listening. The kisses, winging from their bowers,º fly about him, twittering, warbling, cooing.)
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THE KISSES

(Warbling.) Leo! (Twittering.) Icky licky micky sticky for Leo! (Cooing.) Coo coocoo! Yummyyum womwomº! (Warbling.) Big comebig! Pirouette! Leopopold! (Twittering.) Leeolee! (Warbling.) O Leo!

(They rustle, flutter upon his garments, alight, brightº giddy flecks, silvery sequins.)

BLOOM

A man's touch. Sad music. Church music. Perhaps here.

(Zoe Higgins, a young whore in a sapphire slip, closed with three bronze buckles, a slim black velvet fillet round her throat⁽⁵,⁵⁾ nods, trips down the steps and accosts him.)

ZOE

Are you looking for someone? He's inside with his friend.

BLOOM

Is this Mrs Mack's?

ZOE

No, eightyone. Mrs Cohen's. You might go farther and fare worse. Mother Slipperslapper. (Familiarly.) She's on the job herself tonight with the vet^|12,^12| her tipster^|12,^12| that gives her all the winners and pays for her son in Oxford. ⁽⁵working Working⁵⁾ overtime but her luck's turned today. (Suspiciously.) You're not his father⁽⁵,⁵⁾ are you?
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BLOOM

Not I!
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ZOE

You both in black. ^|13Has little mousey^{13| |13}Any any^13| tickles tonight?

(His skin, alert, feels her fingertips approach. A hand slides over his left thigh.)

ZOE

How's the nuts?

BLOOM

Off side. Curiously they are on the right. Heavier,º I suppose. One in a million my tailor, ^|12Messias Mesias^12|, says.

ZOE

(In sudden alarm.) You've a hard chancre.

BLOOM

Not likely.

ZOE

I feel it.

(Her hand slides into his left trouser pocket and brings out a hard black shrivelled potato. She regards it and Bloom with dumb moist lips.)

BLOOM

A talisman. Heirloom.

ZOE

^|7May I? For Zoe?^7| For keeps? ^|7For being so nice^|a, eh^a|?^7|

(She puts the potato greedily into a pocket,º then links his arm, cuddling him ^|12supply with supple warmth^12|. He smiles uneasily. Slowly, note by note,
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oriental music is played. He gazes in the tawny crystal of her eyes, ringed with kohol. His smile softens.)

ZOE

You'll know me the next time.
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BLOOM

(Forlornly.) I never loved a dear gazelle but it was sure to …

(Gazelles are leaping, feeding on the mountains. Near are lakes. Round their shores file shadows black of cedargroves. Aroma rises, a strong hairgrowth of resin. It burns, the orient, a sky of sapphire, cleft by the bronze flight of eagles. Under it lies the womancity, nude, white, still, cool, in luxury. A fountain murmurs among damask roses. Mammoth roses murmur of scarlet winegrapes. A wine of shame, lust, blood exudes, strangely murmuring.)

ZOE

(Murmuring singsong with the music, her ^|12odalisk^12| lips lusciously smeared with salve of swinefat and rosewater.) ^|12Schorach ani wenowach, benoith Hierushaloim Schorachº ani wenowach, benoith Hierushaloim^12|.

BLOOM

(Fascinated.) I thought you were of good stock by your accent.

ZOE

And you know what thought did?

(She bites his ear gently with little goldstopped teeth,º sending on him a cloying breath of stale garlic. The roses draw apart, disclose a sepulchre of the gold of kings and their mouldering bones.)
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BLOOM

(Draws back, mechanically caressing her right bub with a flat awkward hand.) Are you a Dublin girl?

ZOE

(Catches a stray hair deftly and twists it to her coil.) No bloody fear. I'm English. Have you a swaggerroot?

BLOOM

(As before.) Rarely smoke, dear. Cigar now and then. Childish device. (Lewdly.) The mouth can be better engaged than with a cylinder of rank weed.
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ZOE

Go on. Make a stump speech out of it.

BLOOM

(In workman's corduroy overalls, black gansy with red floating tie and apache cap.) Mankind is incorrigible. Sir Walter Raleighº brought from the new world that potato and that weed, the one a killer of pestilence by absorption, the other a poisoner of the ear, eye, heart, memory, will, understanding, all. That is to say⁽⁵, he brought⁵⁾ the poison a hundred years before another person whose name I forget brought the food. Suicide. Lies. All our habits. Why, look at our public life^|13?!^13|

(Midnight chimes from distant steeples.)

THE CHIMES

Turn again, Leopold! Lord mayor of Dublin!
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BLOOM

(In alderman's gown and chain.) Electors of Arran Quay, Inns Quay, Rotunda, Mountjoy and North Dock^(err,º^err) better run a tramline, I say, from the ^|13cattle markets cattlemarket^13| to the river. That's the music of the future. That's my programme. ^|12Cui bono? Cui bono?^12| But our ^(errbucaneering buccaneeringº^err) Vanderdeckens in their phantom ship of finance …

AN ELECTOR

⁽⁵Three cheers Three times three⁵⁾ for our future chief magistrate!

(The aurora borealis of the torchlight procession leaps.)

THE TORCHBEARERS

Hooray!

(Several wellknown burgesses, city magnates and freemen of the city shake hands with Bloom and congratulate him. ⁽⁵Timothy Harrington, ^|12late^12| thrice Lord Mayor of Dublin, imposing in mayoral scarlet, gold chain and white silk tie, confers with councillor Lorcan Sherlock, locum tenens. They nod vigorously in agreement.⁵⁾)
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^(5|12LATE^12| LORD MAYOR HARRINGTON

^|7(In scarlet robe with mace, gold mayoral chain and large white silk scarf.)^7| That aldermanº ^|6sir ^|7Leopold Leo^7|6| Bloom's speech be printed at the expense of the ratepayers^|12. That the house in which he was born be ornamented with a commemorative tablet^{12| |7}and that the thoroughfare hitherto known as Cow Parlour off Cork street be henceforth designated Boulevard Bloom^7|.

COUNCILLOR LORCAN SHERLOCK

Carried unanimously.⁵⁾
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BLOOM

(Impassionedly.) These flying Dutchmen or lying Dutchmen as they recline in their upholstered poop, casting dice, what reck they? Machines is their cry, ^|13their chimera,^13| their panacea. Laboursaving apparatuses, supplanters, ^|13bugbears,^13| manufactured monsters for mutual murder, hideous hobgoblins produced by a horde of capitalistic lusts upon our prostituted labour. ^|13The poor man starves while they are grassing their ^|aroyal^a| mountain stags or shooting peasants and phartridges in their purblind pomp of pelf and power.^{13| |7}But their reign is ^|13over for ever. rover for rever and ever and ev …^13|7|

^|6(Prolongedº applause. Venetian masts, maypoles and festal arches spring up. A streamer bearing the legends Cead Mile Failte and Mah Ttob Melek Israel spans the street. All the windows are thronged with sightseers, chiefly ladies, who fling down. Along the route the regiments of the Royal Dublin Fusiliers, the King's Own Scottish Borderers,º the Cameron Highlanders and the Welsh Fusiliers, standing to attention, keep back the crowd. Boys from High school are perched on the lampposts, telegraph poles, windowsills, cornices, gutters, chimneypots, railings, rainspouts, whistling and cheering. ^|7The pillar of the cloud appears.^7| A fife and drum band is heard in the distance playing the Kol ^|14Nidra Nidre^14|. The beaters approach with imperial eagles hoisted, trailing banners and waving oriental palms. ^|10The chryselephantine papal standard rises high, surrounded by pennons of the civic flagº.^10| The ^|13van of the^13| procession appears headed by John Howard Parnell, city marshal, in a chessboard tabard, the Athlone ^|7poursuivant Poursuivant^7| and Ulster King of Arms. They are followed by the Right Honourable Joseph Hutchinson, lord mayor of Dublin, his lordshipº the lord mayor of Cork, their worships the mayors of Limerick, Galway,
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Sligo and Waterford, twentyeight Irish representative peers, ^|8sirdars, grandees and maharajahs bearing the cloth of estate, the Dublin Metropolitan Fire Brigade, the chapter of the saints of Irel finance in their plutocratic order of precedence,^8| the bishop of Down and Connor, His Eminence Michael cardinal Logue,º ^|7archbishop of
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Armagh^|8,^8|7| primate of all Ireland, His Grace, the most reverend Dr William Alexander, archbishop of Armagh, primate of all Ireland, the chief rabbi, the presbyterian moderator, the heads of the baptist, anabaptist, methodist and Moravian chapels and the honorary secretary of the society of friends. ^|13After them march the guilds and trades and trainbands ^|awith^a| flying colours: coopers, bird ^|adealers fanciers^a|, millwrights, newspaper canvassers, law scriveners, masseurs, vintners, trussmakers, chimneysweepsº , lard refiners, tabinet and poplin weavers, farriers, Italian warehousemen, church decorators, bootjack manufacturers, undertakersº , silk mercers, lapidaries, salesmasters, corkcutters, assessors of fire losses, dyers and cleaners, export bottlers, fellmongers, ticketwriters, heraldic seal engravers, horse repository hands, bullion brokers, cricket and archery outfitters, riddlemakers, egg and potato factors, hosiers and glovers, plumbing contractors.^13| After ^|7them^7| march gentlemen of the bedchamber, Black Rod, Deputy Garter, ^|aGold Stick, the master of horse,^a| the lord great chamberlain, the earl marshal, the high constable carrying the sword of state, saint Stephen's iron crown, the chalice and bible. Four buglers on foot blow a sennet. ^|9Beefeaters reply, winding clarions of welcome.^9| Under an arch of triumph Bloom appears,º bareheaded, in a crimson velvet mantle trimmedº with ermine, bearing Saint Edward's staff, the orb and sceptre with the dove, the curtana. He is seated on a milkwhite horse with long flowing crimson tail^|11,^{11| |8}richly caparisoned, with golden headstall^8|. Wild excitement. The ladies from their balconies throw down rosepetals. The air is perfumed with essences. The men cheer. ^|11Bloom's boys run amid the bystanders with branches of hawthorn and wrenbushes.^11|)

^|11BLOOM'S BOYS

The wren, the wren,
The king of all birds,
Saint Stephen's his day,
Was caught in the furze.^11|
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{u22, 455}

A BLACKSMITH

(Murmurs.) ^|13For the honour of God!^13| And is that Bloom? He scarcely looks ^|7thirty thirtyone^7|.

A PAVIOR AND FLAGGER

That's the famous Bloom now, the world's greatest reformer. ^|8Hats off!

(All uncover their heads. ^|10Women whisper eagerly.^10|)^8|

^|10A MILLIONAIRESS

(^|aAdoringly Enth Richly^a|.) Isn't he simply wonderful?

A NOBLEWOMAN

(Nobly.) All that man has seen!

A FEMINIST

(Masculinely.) And done!^10|

^|aA BELLHANGER

A classic face! ^|9He has the forehead of a thinker.^9|a|

^|7(Bloom's weather. A sunburst appears in the northwest.)^7|

THE BISHOP OF DOWN AND CONNOR

I here present your undoubted ^|9emperor and king emperor-president and king-chairmanº^|13, the most serene and potent and very puissant ruler of this realm^13|9|. God save ^|9King^9| Leopold the First!

ALL

God save Leopold the First!
{u21, 534}

^|13BLOOM

(^|aIn dalmatic and purple mantle,^a| to the bishop of Down and Connor, with dignity.) Thanks, somewhat eminent sir.^13|

^|aTHE WILLIAM,^a| ARCHBISHOP OF ARMAGH

^|7(In purple stock and shovel hat.)^7| Will you to your power cause law and mercy to be executed in all your judgments in Ireland and territories thereunto belonging?
{u22, 456}

BLOOM

(Placing his right hand on his testicles, swears.) So may the ^|7creator Creator^7| deal with me. All this I promise to do.

^|aTHE CARDINAL MICHAEL, ARCHBISHOP OF ARMAGH^a|

(Pours a ^|acruce cruse^a| of hairoil over Bloom's head.) ^|7Gaudium magnum annuntio vobis. Habemus carneficem. Leopold, Patrick, Andrew, David, George,^{7| |7}Be be^7| thou anointed!^6|

^|6(Bloom assumes a mantle of cloth of gold and puts on a ruby ring. ^|13He ascends and stands on the stone of destiny.^13| The representative peers put on at the same time their twentyeight crowns. Joybells ring in Christ church, Saint Patrick's, George's and gay Malahide. ^|8Mirus bazaar fireworks go up from all sides with symbolical ^|13pyrotechnic phallopyrotechnic^13| designs.^8| The peers do homage, one by one, approaching ^|aand^{a| |13}and genuflecting^13|.)

THE PEERS

I do become your liege man of life and limb to earthly worship.^6|

^|6(Bloom holds up his right hand on which sparkles the Koh-i-Noor diamond. ^|11His palfrey neighs.^11| Immediate silence. ^|9Wireless intercontinental and interplanetary transmitters are set for reception of message.^9|)
{u21, 535}

BLOOM

My subjects! ^|8|aI We^a| hereby nominate ^|amy our^a| faithful charger ^|9Henry Copula Felix^9| hereditary Grand Vizier and announce that we have this day repudiated our former spouse and have bestowed our royal hand upon the princess Selene, the splendour of night.^8|6|

^|6(^|8The former ^|10morganatic^10| spouse of Bloom is hastily removed in the Black Maria. The princess Selene, in moonblue robes, a silver crescent on her head, descends from a Sedan chair, borne by two giants.^8| An outburst of cheering.)

JOHN HOWARD PARNELL

^|8(Raises the royal standard.)^8| Illustrious Bloom! ^|10Successor to my famous brother!^10|

BLOOM

^|7(Embraces John Howard Parnell.)^7| We thank youº ^|afrom our heart^|11, John,^11|a|
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forº this right royal welcome ^|7to green Erin^|9, the promised land of our common ancestors^9|7|.

^|9⇒^{9| |7}(^|9The freedom of the city is presented to him embodied in a charter. The keys of Dublin, crossed on a crimson cushion, are given to him.^9| He shows all that he is wearing green socks.)^7|

TOM KERNAN

You deserve it^|13, your honour^13|.

BLOOM

On this day twenty years ago we overcame the hereditary enemy ^|7at Ladysmith^7|. Our howitzers and camel swivel guns played on ^|athe enemy his lines^a| with telling effect. ^|7Half a league onward! They charge! All is lost now! Do we yield? No! We drive them headlong! Lo! We charge!^7| Deploying to the left our light horse swept across the heights of Plevna and,
{u21, 536}
uttering theirº warcry^|11,^11| Bonafide Sabaoth, sabred the Saracen gunners to a man.

^|13THE CHAPEL OF FREEMAN TYPESETTERS

Hear! Hear!

JOHN WYSE NOLAN

There's the man that ^|agot ^|14spirited got^14|a| away James Stephens.^13|

^|aA BLUECOAT SCHOOLBOY

Bravo!^a|

AN OLD RESIDENT

^|aBravo!^a| You're a credit to your country, sir, that's what you are.

AN APPLEWOMAN

He's a man like Ireland wants.

BLOOM

My beloved subjects, a new era is about to dawn. I, Bloom, tell you verily it is even now at hand. Yea, on the word of a Bloom, ye shall ere long enter into the golden city which is to be, the new Bloomusalem ^|7in the Nova Hibernia of the future^7|.^6|

^|6(^|8Thirtytwoº workmen,º ^|10wearing rosettes,^10| from all the counties of Ireland,
{u22, 458}
under the guidance of Derwan the builder, construct the new Bloomusalem. It is a colossal edifice, ^|10with crystal roof,^10| built in the shape of a huge pork kidney, containing forty thousand rooms. In the course of its extension several buildings and monuments are demolished. Government offices are temporarily transferred to railway sheds. ^|aall the Numerous^a| houses are razed to the ground. The inhabitantsº are lodged in barrels and boxes, all marked in red ^|awith the letters:^a| L.B.^{8| |9}Several paupers fall from
{u21, 537}
a ladder.^{9| |a}Part A part^a| of the walls of Dublin^(err,º^err) crowded with loyal sightseers, collapses.)

THE SIGHTSEERS

(Dying.) Morituri te salutant. (They die.)^6|

^|6(A man in a brown macintosh springs up through a trapdoor. He points an elongated ^(errfigure fingerº^err) at Bloom.)

THE MAN IN THE MACINTOSH

Don't you believe a word he says. That man is Leopold M'Intosh, the notorious fireraiser. His real name is Higgins.

BLOOM

Shoot him! Dog of a christian! ^|7So much for ^|13Macintosh M'Intosh^13|!^7|6|

^|6(A cannonshot. The ^|8Man man^8| in the ^|7M'Intosh macintosh^7| disappearsº. ^|10Bloom with his sceptre strikes down poppies. The instantaneous deaths of many powerful enemies^|a, graziers, members of parliament, members of standing committees,^a| are reported.^10| Bloom's bodyguard distribute Maundy money, commemoration medals, loaves and fishes, b temperance badges, ^|8expensive Henry Clay cigars, free cowbones for soup, rubber preservatives ^|11inº ^|asealed^a| envelopes tied with gold thread^11|, butter scotch, pineapple rock, billets doux in the form of cocked hats, readymade suits, porringers of toad in the hole, bottles of Jeyes' Fluid,^8| purchase stamps, ^|940 days' indulgences, spurious coins, dairyfed pork sauc sausages,^9| theatre passes, season tickets available for all ^|7lines tramlinesº^7|, coupons of the royal and privilegedº Hungarian lottery, penny dinner counters^|9, cheap reprints of the World's Twelve ^|13Greatest Worst^13| Books: Froggy and Fritz (politic), Care of the Baby (infantilic), 50 Meals for 7/6 (culinic), Was Jesus a Sun Myth? (historic), Expel that Pain (medic), Infant's Compendium of the
{u22, 459}
Universe (cosmic), Let's All Chortle (hilaric), The Canvasser's Vade Mecum (journalic), Loveletters of Mother Assistant (erotic), Who's Who in Space (astric), Songs
{u21, 538}
that Reached Ourº Heart (melodic), Pennywise's Way to Wealth (parsimonic)^9|. A general rush and scramble. Women press forward to touch the hem of Bloom's robe. The lady Gwendolen Dubedat bursts through the throng, leaps on his horse and kisses him on both cheeks amid great acclamation. ^|aA magnesium flashlight photograph is taken.^a| Babes and sucklings are held up.)

THE WOMEN

Little father! Little father!º

THE BABES AND SUCKLINGS

^|7Clap clap hands till Poldy comes home, Clap clap hands till Poldy comes home,^7|
|7Cakes in his pocket for Leo alone Cakes in his pocket for Leo alone^7|.^6|

^|6(Bloom, bending down, pokes Baby Boardman gently in the stomach.)

BABY BOARDMAN

(Hiccups, curdled milk flowing from his mouth.) Hajajaja.

^|8BLOOM

(Shaking hands with a blind stripling.) ^|aBrother My ^|13More more^13| than Brother^a|! (Placing his arms round the shoulders of an old couple.) Dear old friends! (He playsº pussy fourcorners with ragged boys and girls.) ^|aBeep Peep^a|! Bopeep! ^|10(He wheels twins in a perambulator.) Ticktacktwo wouldyousetashoe? ^|13(He performs juggler's tricks, draws red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet silk handkerchiefsº from his mouth.) Roygbiv. 32 feet per second.^13| (He consoles a widow.) Absence makes the heart grow younger. (He dances the ^|asailor's hornpipe Highland fling with grotesque antics^a|.) Leg it, ye devils! (He kisses the bedsores of a palsied veteran.) Honourable wounds! (He trips up a fat policeman.) U. p: up. U. p: up.^{10| |9}(He whispers in the ear of a blushing waitress and laughs kindly.) Ah, ^|13I know naughty, naughty^13|! (He eats a raw turnip offered
{u21, 539}
him by Maurice Butterly, farmer.) Fine! Splendid! (He refuses to accept three shillings offered to him by Joseph Hynes, journalist.) My dear fellow, not at all! (He gives his coat to a beggar.) Please accept. (He takes part in a stomach race with elderly male and female cripples.) Come on, boys! Wriggle it, girls!^9|8|
{u22, 460}

THE CITIZEN

(^|13Choked with emotion,^13| brushes aside a tear ^|7in his emerald muffler^|13, choked with emotion^13|7|.) May the good God bless him!^6|

^|6(The ^|9bugles ^(errram's rams'º^err) horns^9| sound for silence. ^|10The standard of Zion is hoisted.^10|)

BLOOM

(Uncloaks impressively, ^|7revealing obesity,^7| unrolls a paper and reads solemnly.) Aleph Beth Ghimel Daleth Hagadah Tephilim Kosher Yom Kippur Hanukah Roschaschana Beni Brith Bar Mitzvah Mazzoth Askenazim ^|7Mezuzah Meshuggah^7| Talith.^6|

^|6(An official translation is read by Jimmy Henry, assistant town clerk.)

^|7JIMMY HENRY

The Court of Conscience is now open. His Most Catholic Majesty will now administer open air justice. ^|8Free medical and legal advice, solution of doubles and other problems.^8| All cordially invited. ^|9Given at this our loyal city of Dublin in the year 1 of the Paradisiacal Era.^9|7|

PADDY LEONARD

What am I to do about my rates and taxes^|8?^8|

BLOOM

Pay them^|8, my friend.^8|

PADDY LEONARD

^|aThanks Thank you^a|.
{u21, 540}

NOSEY FLYNN

Can I raise a mortgage on my fire insurance^|13?^13|

BLOOM

^|7(Obdurately.)^7| Sirs, take notice that ^|10by the law of torts^10| you are bound over in your own recognisances for six months in the sum of five pounds.

^|8J.J. O'MOLLOY

A Daniel did I say? Nay! A Peter O'Brien!^8|

NOSEY FLYNN

Where do I draw the five pounds?
{u22, 461}

^|8PISSER BURKE

For bladder trouble?

BLOOM

Acid. nit. hydrochlor.º dil,º 20 minims
Tinct. nux.º vom,º 5 minims
Extr. taraxel. liq,º 30 minims.
Aq. dis. ter in die.^8|

^|7CHRIS CALLINAN

What is the parallax of the subsolar ecliptic of Aldebaran?

BLOOM

^|10Pleased to hear from you, Chris.^10| K. 11.
{u21, 541}

JOE HYNES

Why aren't you in uniform?

BLOOM

When my progenitor of sainted memory wore the uniform of the Austrian despot in a dank prison where was yours?^7|

^|8BEN DOLLARD

Pansies?

BLOOM

Embellish ^|14(beautify)^14| unread suburban gardens.

BEN DOLLARD

When twins arrive?

BLOOM

Father ^|14(pater, dad)^14| starts thinking.^8|

LARRY O'ROURKE

^|8A sevenday An eightdayº^8| licence for my new premises. You remember me, sir Leo, when you were in number seven. I'm sending around a dozen of stout for the missus.
{u22, 462}

BLOOM

(Coldly.) You have the advantage of me. Lady Bloom accepts no presents.

^|8|aJOE CUFFE CROFTON^a|

This is indeed a festivity.
{u21, 542}

BLOOM

(Solemnly.) You call it a festivity. I call it a sacrament.^8|

ALEXANDER KEYES

When will we have our own house of keys?

BLOOM

I stand for the reform of municipal morals and the plain ten commandments. ^|9New worlds for old.^{9| |11}Union of all, jew, moslem and gentile.^11| Three acres and a cow for all ^|10children of nature^10|. ^|8Saloon motor hearses. ^|9Compulsory manual labour for all. All parks open to ^|13the^13| public day and night.^9| Electric dishscrubbers.^8| Tuberculosis, lunacy, war and mendicancy must now cease. General amnesty, ^|9weekly carnival ^|11withº masked licence^11|,^{9| |8}bonuses for all,^8| esperanto^(err,º^err) the ^|~7universal language with^~|7|º universal brotherhood. No more patriotism of barspongers and dropsical impostors. Free money, ^|~7free rent,^~|7|º free love and a free lay church in a free lay state.

O'MADDEN BURKE

Free fox in a free henroost.

^|8DAVY BYRNE

(Yawning.) Iiiiiiiiiaaaaaaach!^8|

BLOOM

Mixed races and mixed marriage.

LENEHAN

What about mixed bathing?^6|

^|6(Bloom explains to those near him his schemes for social regeneration. All agree with him. The keeper of the Kildare streetº museum appears, dragging a lorry on which are the shaking statues of several
{u21, 543}
naked
{u22, 463}
goddesses, Venus Callipyge, Venus Pandemos, Venus Metempsychosis, and plaster figures, also naked, representing the new nine muses, Commerce, Operatic Music, Amor, Publicity, Manufacture, Liberty of Speech, Plural Voting, Gastronomy, Private Hygiene, ^|7Seaside^7| Concert Entertainments, ^|8Painless^8| Obstetrics and Astronomy for the People.)

FATHER FARLEY

He is ^|7an episcopalian,^7| an agnostic^|8, an anythingarian^8| seeking to overthrow our holy faith.

^|10MRS RIORDAN

(Tears up her will.) I'm disappointed in you! You bad man!^10|

MOTHER GROGAN

(Removes her boot to throw it at Bloom.) You beast! ^|10You abominable person!^10|

^|7NOSEY FLYNN

Give us a ^|13song tune^13|, Bloom. One of the old ^|13ones sweet songs^13|.

BLOOM

(With rollicking humour.)

I vowed that I never would leave her,
She turned out a cruel deceiver.
With my tooraloom tooraloom tooraloom tooraloom.

^|8HOPPY HOLOHAN

Good old Bloom! There's nobody like him after all.^8|
{u21, 544}

PADDY LEONARD

Stage Irishman!

BLOOM

What railway opera is like a tramline in Gibraltar? The Rows of Casteele.º

(Laughter.)

LENEHAN

Plagiarist! Down with Bloom!^7|
{u22, 464}

ALEXANDER ^|aA THE^a| VEILED SIBYL

(Enthusiastically.) I'm a Bloomite ^|8and I glory in it^8|. ^|aI believe in him in spite of all.^a| I'd give my life for him, the funniest man on earth.

^|8BLOOM

(Winks at the bystanders.) I bet she's a bonny ^|alass lassie^a|.^8|

THEODORE PUREFOY

^|13(In fishingcap and oilskin jacket.)^13| He employs a mechanical device to frustrate the ^|8sacred^8| ends of nature.

THE VEILED SIBYL

(Stabs herself.) My hero god! (She dies.)^6|

^|6(Many ^|8most attractive and^8| enthusiastic women also commit suicide by stabbing, drowning, ^|8poison, drinking prussic acid, aconite, arsenic,^8| opening their veins, refusing food, ^|8casting themselves under steamrollers, from the top of Nelson's Pillar, into the great vat of Guinness's brewery, asphyxiating themselves by placing their heads in gas ovens, hanging themselves in stylish garters,º^8| leaping from windows of different storeys.)
{u21, 545}

ALEXANDER J.º DOWIE

(Violently.) Fellowchristians ^|8and antiBloomites^8|, the man called Bloom is from the roots of hell, a disgrace to christian men. A fiendish libertine from his earliest years this stinking goat of Mendes gave precocious signs of infantile debauchery^|8,º^8| recalling the cities of the plain^|8,^8| with a dissolute granddam. ^|7He This ^|13vile^13| hypocrite^|10, bronzed with infamy,^10|7| is the white bull mentioned in the Apocalypse. ^|7A worshipper of the Scarlet Woman^|8.,^{8|7| |8}Intrigue intrigue^8| is the very breath of his nostrils. The stake faggots and the caldron of boiling oil are for him. ^|10Caliban!^10|

THE MOB

Lynch him! Roast him! ^|10He's as bad as Parnell was. ^|13Mr Fox!^13|10|6|

^|6(Mother Grogan throws her boot at Bloom. Several shopkeepers from upper and lower Dorset street throw objects of ^|alittle or^a| no commercial value, hambones, condensed milk tins, unsaleable cabbage, stale bread, sheeps' tailsº , odd pieces of fat.)
{u22, 465}

BLOOM

(Excitedly.) This is midsummer madness, some ghastly joke again. ^|8By heaven, I am guiltless ^|10as the unsunned snow^10|! ^|10It was my brother Henry. He is my double. He lives in number 2 Dolphin's Barn.^10|8| Slander, the viper^|9,^9| has wrongfully accused me. Fellowcountrymen, sgeulº i mbarrº bata coisde gan capall. I call on my old friend^|13,^13| Dr Malachi Mulligan^|7, sex specialist,^7| to give medical testimony on my behalf.

DR MULLIGAN

(In motor jerkin, green motorgoggles on his brow.) Dr Bloom is bisexually abnormal. He has recently escaped from Dr Eustace's private asylum for demented gentlemen. Born out of bedlock hereditary epilepsy is present, the consequence of unbridled lust. Traces of elephantiasis have been discovered among his ascendants. There are marked symptoms of chronic exhibitionism. ⁽⁷Ambidexterity ^|8and bisexuality are is^8| also
{u21, 546}
latent. He is prematurely bald ^|8|10from selfabuse^10|, ^|10perversely idealistic in consequence,^10| a reformed rake,^8| and has metal teeth.⁷⁾ In consequence of a family complex he has temporarily lost his memory and I believe him to be more sinned against than sinning. I have made a pervaginal examination and^|10, after ex application of the acid test to 5427 anal, axillary, pectoral and pubic hairs, I^10| declare him to be virgo intacta.^6|

^|6(Bloom holds his high grade hat over his genital organs.)

DR MADDEN

Hypsospadiaº is also marked. In the interest of coming generations I suggest that the parts affected should be preserved in spirits of wine in the national teratological museum.

DR CROTTHERS

I have examined ^|10his the patient's^10| urine. It is albuminoid. Salivation is insufficient, the patellar reflex intermittent.

DR PUNCH COSTELLO

Theº fetor judaicus is most perceptible.

DR DIXON

(Reads a bill of health.) Professor Bloom is a finished example of the new womanly man. His moral nature is simple and lovable. ^|10Many have found
{u22, 466}
him a dear man, a dear person.^{10| |8}He is a rather quaint fellow on the whole,^|10, coy^10| though not feebleminded in the medical sense.^{8| |10}He has written me a really beautiful letter^|a, a poem in itself,^a| to the court missionary of the Reformed ^(errPriests Priests'º^err) Protection Society which clears up everything.^{10| |7}He is practically a total abstainer and I can affirm that he sleeps on a straw litter and eats the most Spartan food, cold dried grocer's peas. He wears a hairshirt ^|14'|~of pure Irish manufacture^~|14'|º winter and summer and scourges himself every Saturday.^{7| |8}He was, I understand, at one time a firstclass misdemeanant in Glencree reformatory. Another report states that he
{u21, 547}
was a very posthumous child.^8| I appeal for clemency ^|7in the name of the most sacred word our vocal organs have ever been called upon to speak.^{7| |7}as he He^7| is about to have a baby.^6|

^|6(General commotion and compassion. ^|aWomen faint.^a| A wealthy American makes a street collection for Bloom. Gold and silver coins, blank cheques, banknotes, jewels, treasury bonds, maturing bills of exchange, I.O.U's, wedding rings, watchchains, lockets, necklaces and bracelets are rapidly collected.)

^|7BLOOM

O, I so want to be a mother.^7|

^|8A NURSETENDER MRS THORNTON^8|

^|8(In nursetender's gown.)^8| Embrace me tight, dear. You'll be soon over it. Tight, dear.^6|

^|6(Bloom embraces her tightly and bears ^|10several eight^10| male ^|10yellow and white^10| children. ^|7They appear on a redcarpeted staircase adorned with expensive plants.^7| All ^|14'|~the octuplets^~|14'|º are handsome, ^|10with expensive valuable metallic faces,^10| wellmade, respectably dressed and wellconducted, speaking five modern languages ^|8fluently^8| and interested in various arts and sciences. ^|10Each has his name printed in legible letters on his shirtfront: Nasodoro, Goldfinger, Chrysostomos, Maindorée, Silversmile, Silberselber, Vifargent, Panargyros.^10| They are immediately appointed to positions of high public trust ^|7in several different countries^7| as managing directors of banks, traffic managers of railways, chairmen of limited liability companies, vicechairmenº of hotel syndicates.)

A VOICE

Bloom, are you the Messiah^|7! ben Joseph or ben David?^7|
{u21, 548}
{u22, 467}

BLOOM

(Darkly.) You have said it.

^|8A LAYBROTHER BROTHER BUZZ^8|

Then perform a miracle ^|14'|~like Father Charles^~|14'|.º^6|

^|7BANTAM LYONS

Prophesy who will win the Saint Leger.^7|

^|6(Bloom walks on a net, covers his left eye with his left ear, ^|8passes through several walls, climbs Nelson's Pillar, hangs from the top ledge by his eyelids, eats twelve dozen oysters (shells included),^{8| |7}heals several sufferers from king's evil,^7| contracts his face so as to resemble many historical personages, ^|7Lord Beaconsfield, Lord Byron, Wat Tyler, ^|13Moses of Egypt,^13| Moses Maimonides, ^|13Moses Mendelssohn,^13| Henry Irving, Rip van Winkle, Kossuth, Jean Jacques Rousseau, Baron Leopold Rothschild, ^|8Robinson Crusoe,^8| Sherlock Holmes, Pasteur,^7| turnsº each foot simultaneously in different directions, ^|7bids the tide turn back,^7| eclipses the sun by extending his little finger.)