ULYSSES
Proofs
1st placards, 17-18 October 1921, draft level 5
MS Harvard placards A-1, B-1, C-1, D-1, E-1 Draft details
{u21, 822}
{u22, 690}
Yes because he never did a thing like that before as ask to get his
breakfast in bed with a couple of eggs since the City Arms hotel when he used to
be pretending to be laid up with a sick voice doing his highness to make himself
interesting for that old faggot Mrs Riordan that he thought he had a great leg
of and she never left us a farthing all for masses for herself and her soul
greatest miser ever was actually afraid to lay out fourpence for her methylated
spirit telling me all her ailments she had too much old chat in her about
politics and earthquakes and the end of the world let us have a bit of fun first
God help the world if all the women were like her
|5down
on bathingsuits and lownecks of course nobody wanted her to wear
themº I suppose
she was pious
because no man would look at her twice
a wonder she didnt
want us to cover our
faces5| but she
was a welleducated woman certainly and her talk about Mr Riordan here and Mr
Riordan there I suppose he was glad to get shut of her and her dog smelling my
fur and always edging to get up under my petticoats especially then still I like
that in him polite to old women like that and waiters
|5and
beggars too but not
always5| if ever he
got anything really serious the matter with him its much better for them to go
into a hospital where everything is clean but I suppose Id have to dring it into
him for a month
|5yes and
then wed have a
hospital nurse next thing on the carpet
|ahave him staying there till
they throw him outa| or a nun
maybe like the
|asmuttya|
photo he has shes
as much as Im not5|
yes because theyre so weak and puling when theyre sick
|5they
want a woman to get well5| if his nose bleeds
{u21, 823}
youd think it was O tragic and that dyinglooking one
|5that
used to be doing skirtduty along the south
circular5| when he
sprained his foot at the choir party at lough Bray the day I wore that dress
Miss Stack bringing him flowers the worst old ones she could find at the bottom
of the basket though he looked more like a man with his beard a bit grown in the
bed father was the same besides I hate bandaging and dosing when he cut his toe
with the razor paring his corns afraid hed get blood poisoning yes he came
somewhere Im sure by his appetite anyway love its not or hed be off his feed
thinking of her so either it was one of those night women if it was down there
he was really and the hotel story he made up a pack of lies to hide it planning
it Hynes kept me who did I meet ah yes I met do you remember Menton and who else
who let me see that big babbyface I saw him and he not long married flirting
with a young girl at Pooles Myriorama and turned my back on him when he slinked
out what harm but he had the impudence to make up to me one
|5times
time5|
well done to him mouth almighty and his boiled eyes of all the big stupoes I
ever met and thats called a solicitor only for I hate having a long wrangle in
bed or else if its not that its some little bitch or other he got in with
somewhere or picked up on the sly if they only knew him as well as I do yes
because the day before yesterday he was scribbling something a letter when I
came into the front room to show him Dignam's death in the paper as if
something told me and he covered it up with the blottingpaper pretending to be
thinking about business so very probably that was it to somebody who thinks she
has a softy in him because all men get a bit like that at his age especially
getting on to forty he is now so as to wheedle any money she can out of him no
fool like an old fool and then the usual kissing my bottom was to hide it not
that I care two straws now who he does it with or knew before that way though Id
like to find out so long as I dont have the two of them under my nose all the time like that slut
{u21, 824}
that Mary we had in Ontario terrace padding out her false bottom to excite
him bad enough to get the smell of those painted women off him once or twice I
had a suspicion by getting him to come near me without that one it was all his
fault of course ruining servants then proposing that she could eat at our table
on Christmas day O no thank you not in my house stealing my potatoes and the
oysters 2/6 per doz going out to see her aunt if you please common robbery so it
was but I was sure he had something on with that one it takes me to find out a
thing like that he said you have no proof it was her proof O yes her aunt was very fond
{u22, 692}
of oysters but I told her what I thought of her suggesting me to go out to
be alone with her I wouldnt lower myself to spy on them the garters I found in
her room the Friday she was out that was enough for me a little bit too much her
face swelled up on her with temper when I gave her her weeks notice I saw to
that better do without them altogether do out the rooms myself quicker only for
the damn cooking and throwing out the dirt I gave it to him anyhow either she or
me leaves the house I couldnt even touch him if I thought he was with a dirty
liar and sloven like that one singing about the place in the W C too because she
knew she was too well off yes because he couldnt possibly do without it that
long so he must do it somewhere and the last time he came on my bottom when was
it the night Boylan gave my hand a great squeeze going along by the Tolka I just
pressed the back of his like that with my thumb to squeeze back singing the
young May Moon shes beaming love because he has an idea about him and me hes not
such a fool he said Im dining out and going to the Gaiety though Im not going to
give him the satisfaction in any case God knows hes a change in a way not to be
always and ever wearing the same old hat unless I paid some nicelooking boy to
do it since I cant do it myself a young boy would like me Id confuse him a
little and make him turn red looking at him doing that frigging drawing out the
thing by the hour question and answer would you do this that and the other with
the coalman yes with a bishop yes I would because I told him about some Dean or
Bishop was sitting beside me in the jews Temples gardens when I was knitting
that woollen thing a stranger to Dublin what place was it and so on about the
monuments and he tired me out with statues encouraging him making him worse than
he is who is in your mind now tell me who are you thinking of who is it tell me
his name who tell me who the German emperor is it yes imagine Im him think of
him can you feel him he ought to give it up now at this age of his life simply
ruination for any woman and no satisfaction in it pretending to like it till he
comes and then finish it off myself anyway and it makes your lips pale anyhow
its done now once and for all with all the talk of the world about it people
make its only the first time after that its just the ordinary do it and think no
more about it why cant you kiss a man you sometimes love to wildly when you feel that way so nice all
{u22, 693}
over you you cant help yourself I wish some man or other would take me
sometime when hes there and kiss me in his arms theres nothing like a kiss long
and hot down to your soul almost paralyses you then I hate that confession when
I used to go to Father Corrigan he touched me father and what harm if he did
where and I said on the canal bank like a fool but whereabouts on your person on
the leg behind high up was it yes rather high up was it where you sit down yes O
Lord couldnt he say bottom right out and have done with it what has that got to
do with it he had a nice fat hand the palm moist always I wouldnt mind feeling
it
|5neither
would he Id say by his
bullneck5|
I wonder did he know me in the box of course hed never turn or let on besides
theres no danger with a priest if youre married hes too careful about himself
then give something to H H the pope for a penance I wonder was he satisfied with
me one thing I didnt like his slapping me behind going away so familiarly in the
hall though I laughed Im not a horse or an ass am I I suppose he was thinking of
his father I wonder is he awake thinking of me or dreaming am I in it he smelt
of some kind of drink not whisky or stout
|5or
perhaps the sweety
kind of paste they stick their bills up
with5| some liqueur Id
like to sip those richlooking green and yellow expensive drinks those stagedoor
johnnies drink with the opera hats he had all he could do to keep himself from
falling asleep after the last time after we took the claret and potted meat it
had a fine salty taste yes because I felt lovely and tired myself and fell
asleep as sound as a top the moment I popped
|5straight5|
into bed till that thunder woke me up God be merciful to us I thought the
heavens were coming down about us
|5to
punish
usº5|
when I blessed myself and said a Hail Mary like those awful thunderbolts in
Gibraltar as if the world was coming to an end and they say then theres no God
what could you do if it was running and rushing about nothing only make an act
of contrition the candle I lit that evening in Whitefriars street chapel for the
month of May see it brought its luck though hed scoff if he heard because he never goes to church
{u22, 694}
mass or meeting he says your soul you have no soul inside only grey matter
because he doesnt know what it is to have one yes when I lit the lamp because he
must have come 3 or 4 times with that tremendous big red brute of a thing he has
I thought the vein or whatever the dickens they call it was going to burst
though his nose is not so big after I took off all my things with the blinds
down after my hours dressing and perfuming and combing it like iron or some kind
of a thick crowbar standing all the time he must have eaten oysters I think a
few dozen no I never in all my life felt anyone had one the size of that to make
you feel full up whats the idea making us like that with a big hole in the
middle of us or like a stallion driving it up into you because thats all they
want out of you with that determined vicious look in his eye I had to halfshut
my eyes still he hasnt such a tremenduous amount of spunk in him when I made him
pull out and do it on me considering how big it is so much the better in case
any of it wasnt washed out properly the last time I let him finish it in me nice
invention they made for women for him to get all the pleasure but if someone
gave them a touch of it themselves theyd know what I went through with Milly
nobody would believe and Mina Purefoys husband give us a swing out of your
whiskers filling her up with a child or twins once a year as regular as the
clock supposed to be healthy supposing I risked having another not off him
though still if he was married Im sure hed have a fine strong child but I dont
know Poldy has more spunk in him I suppose it was meeting Josie Powell and the
funeral and thinking about me and Boylan set him off well he can think what he
likes now if thatll do him any good I know they were spooning a bit when I came
on the scene he was dancing and sitting out with her the night of Georgina
Simpsons housewarming and then he wanted to ram it down my neck on account of
not liking to see her a wallflower that was why we had the standup row over
politics he began it not me when he said about Our Lord being a carpenter and
the first socialist still he knows a lot of mixedup things especially about the
body and the inside I often wanted to study up that myself what we have inside
us in that family physician I could always hear his voice talking when the room was
{u21, 828}
crowded and watch him after that I pretended I had a coolness on with her over him
{u22, 695}
because he used to be a bit on the jealous side whenever he asked who are
you going to and I said over to Floey and he made me the present of lord Byrons
poems and the three pairs of gloves so that finished that I could quite easily
get him to make it up any time I know how Id even supposing he got in with her
again and was going out to see her somewhere Id know if he refused to eat the
onions I know several ways touch him with my veil and gloves on going out one
kiss then would send them all spinning however alright well see then let him go
to her she of course would only be too delighted to pretend shes mad in love
with him that I wouldnt so much mind but he might imagine he was and make a
declaration to her like he did to me though I had the devils own job to get it
out of him though I liked him for that it showed he could hold in and wasnt to
be got for the asking
|5he was
on the pop of asking me too the night in the kitchen I was rolling the potato
cake theres something I want to say to you only for I put him
|aoffa|
letting on I was in a temper with my hands and arms full of pasty
flour5| she used to be
always embracing me Josie whenever he was there meaning him of course glauming
me over and when I said I washed up and down as far as possible asking me did
you wash possible the women are always egging on to that
|5putting
it on thick5| when hes
there they know by his
|5sly5|
eye
|5blinking
a bit when they come out with
something5| the kind
he is what spoils him I dont wonder in the least because he was very handsome at
that time trying to look like lord Byron I said I liked though he was too
beautiful for a man and he was a little before we got engaged afterwards though
she didnt like it so much the day I was in fits of laughing I couldnt stop about
all my hairpins falling out one after another youre always in great humour she said yes because it
{u21, 829}
grigged her because she knew what it meant but that wasnt my fault she
didnt darken the door much after we were married I wonder what shes got like now
{u22, 696}
after living with that dotty husband of hers she had her face beginning to
look drawn and run down the last time I saw her she must have been just after a
row with him because I saw on the moment she was edging to draw down a
conversation about husbands and talk about him to run him down what was it she
told me O yes that sometimes he used to go to bed with his muddy boots on when
the maggot takes him just imagine having to get into bed with a thing like that
that might murder you any moment what a man well its not the one way everyone
goes mad Poldy anyhow whatever he does always wipes his feet on the mat when he
comes in wet or shine and he always takes off his hat when he comes up in the
street like then and now hes going about in his slippers to look for
£10000 for a postcard u p up O Sweetheart May wouldnt a thing like that
simply bore you stiff to extinction actually too stupid even to take his boots
off now what could you make of a man like that Id rather die 20 times over than
marry another of their sex of course hed never find another woman like me to put
up with him the way I do yes and he knows that too at the bottom of his heart
take that Mrs Maybrick that poisoned her husband for what I wonder in love with
some other man yes it was found out on her wasnt she the villain to go and do a
thing like that of course some men can be dreadfully aggravating drive you mad
and always the worst word in the world what do they ask us to marry them for if
were so bad as all that comes to yes because they cant get on without us white
Arsenic she put in his tea I wonder why they call it that if I asked him hed say
its from the Greek leave us as wise as before she must have been madly in love
with the other fellow to run the chance of being hanged O she didnt care if that
was her nature what could she do besides theyre not brutes enough to go and hang
a woman surely
|5are
they5||5.5|
{u21, 830}
|5They're
theyre5|
all so different Boylan talking about the shape of my foot he noticed at once
even before he was introduced when I was in the D B C with Poldy laughing and
trying to listen I was waggling my foot I saw him looking with his two old maids
of sisters when I stood up and asked the girl where it was what do I care with
it dropping out of me and that black closed breeches he made me buy takes you
half an hour to let them down wetting all myself always with some brandnew fad
every other week such a long one I did I forgot my suede gloves on the seat
behind that I never got after some robber of a woman and he wanted me to put it
in the Irish Times lost in the ladies lavatory D B C Dame street
{u22, 697}
finder return to Mrs Marion Bloom now how did that excite him because I was
crossing them when we were in the other room first he meant the shoes that are
too tight to walk in my hand is nice like that I dont like my foot so much still
I made him spend once with my foot the night after Goodwins botchup of a concert
so cold and windy it was well we had that rum in the house to mull and the fire
wasnt black out when he asked to take off my stockings lying on the hearthrug in
Lombard street west but of course hes not natural that I what did he say I could
give nine points in ten to Kattie Lanner and beat her what does that mean I
asked him I forget what he said because the stop press edition just passed and
the man with the curly hair in the Lucan dairy thats so polite I think I saw his
face before somewhere I noticed him when I was tasting the butter so I took my
time Bartell dArcy too that he used to make fun of when he commenced kissing me
on the choir stairs after I sang Gounod's Ave Maria he was pretty
hot for all his tinny voice too my low notes he said if you can believe him then
he said wasnt it terrible to do that there in a place like that I dont see
anything so terrible about it Ill tell him about that some day not now and
surprise him he thinks nothing can happen without him knowing he was much worse
himself begging me to give him a tiny bit cut off my drawers that was the
evening coming along Kenilworth square he kissed me in the eye of my glove and I
had to take it off asking me questions is it permitted to inquire the shape of
my bedroom so I let him keep it as if I forgot it to think of me when I saw him
slip it into his pocket of course hes mad on the subject of drawers thats plain
to be seen always skeezing at those brazenfaced things on the bicycles with
their skirts blowing up to their navels even when Milly and I were out with him
at the open air fete that one in the cream muslin standing right against the
{u22, 698}
sun so he could see every atom she had on when he saw me from behind
following in the rain I saw him before he saw me however standing at the corner
of the Harolds cross road with a new raincoat on him with the muffler in the
Zingari colours to show off his complexion and the brown hat looking slyboots as
usual what was he doing there where hed no business they can go and get whatever
they like from anything at all with a skirt on it and were not to ask any
questions but they want to know where were you where are you going I could feel
him coming along skulking after me his eyes on my neck pestered me to say yes
till I took off my glove slowly watching him he said my openwork sleeves were
too cold for the rain anything for an excuse to put his hand anear me drawers
drawers all the time till I promised to give him the pair off my doll to carry
about in his waistcoat pocket O Maria Santissima he did look a big fool
dreeping in the rain splendid set of teeth he had made me hungry to look at them
and beseeched
|5of5|
me to lift the orange
{u21, 832}
petticoat I had on with the sunray pleats that there was nobody he said hed
kneel down in the wet if I didnt so persevering you never know what freak theyd
take alone with you theyre so savage for it if anyone was passing so I touched
his trousers outside the way I used to Gardner
|5after5|
to keep him from doing worse where it was too public he was shaking like a jelly
all over they want to do everything too quick take all the pleasure out of it
then he wrote me that letter with all those words in it how could he have the
face to any woman after his company manners making it so awkward after when we
met asking me have I offended you with my eyelids down of course he saw I wasnt
he had a few brains not like that other fool Henny Doyle he was always breaking
or tearing something in the charades I hate an unlucky man and if I knew what it
meant of course I had to say no for form sake and wasnt it natural so it is of
course it used to be written up with a picture of a womans on that wall in
Gibraltar with that word I couldnt find anywhere then writing every morning a
letter sometimes twice a day I liked the way he made love then he knew the way
to take a woman then I wrote the night he kissed my heart at Dolphins barn I
couldnt describe it simply it makes you feel like nothing on earth but he never
knew how to embrace well like Gardner I hope hell come on Monday as he said at
the same time four I hate people who come at all hours answer the door you think
its the vegetables then its somebody and you all undressed or the door of the
filthy sloppy kitchen blows open the day old frostyface Goodwin called about the
concert in Lombard street and I just after dinner all flushed and tossed with
boiling old stew dont look at me professor I had to say Im a fright yes but he
was a real old gent in his way it was impossible to be more respectful nobody to
say youre out you have to peep out through the blind I was just beginning to
yawn with nerves when I knew his tattarrattat at the door he must have been a
bit late because it was ¼ after three when I saw the two Dedalus girls
coming from school when I threw the penny to that lame sailor for England home
and beauty and I hadnt even put on my clean shift or powdered myself or a thing
then this day week were to go to Belfast just as well he has to go to Ennis his
fathers anniversary the 27th it wouldnt be pleasant if he did suppose our rooms
at the hotel were beside each other and any fooling went on in the new bed I
couldnt tell him to stop and not bother me with him in the next room or perhaps
some protestant clergyman with a cough knocking on the wall then he wouldnt
believe the next day we didnt do something its all very well a husband but you
cant fool a lover after me telling him we never did anything no its better hes
going where he is besides something always happens with him the time going to
the Mallow Concert at Maryborough ordering boiling soup for the two of us then
the bell rang out he walks down the platform with the soup splashing
|5on5|
about taking spoonfuls of it and the waiter after him making a holy show of us
screeching and confusion for the engine to start but he wouldnt pay till he
finished it the two gentlemen in the carriage said he was quite right so he was
too hes so pigheaded sometimes when he gets a thing into his head a good job he
was able to open the carriage door with his knife or theyd have taken us on to
Cork I suppose that was done out of revenge on him O I love jaunting in a train
or a car with lovely soft cushions I wonder will he take a 1st class for me he might want to do it
{u22, 700}
in the train by tipping the guard well O I suppose there'll be the
usual idiots of men gaping at us with their eyes as stupid as ever they can
|5possibly5|
be one or two tunnels perhaps then you have to look out
{u21, 834}
of the window all the nicer then coming back suppose I never came back what
would they say eloped with him that gets you on on the stage the last concert I
sang at where its over a year ago when was it St Teresas hall Clarendon St
little chits of missies they have now singing Kathleen Kearney and her like on
account of father being in the army and my singing the absentminded beggar and
wearing a brooch for lord Roberts
|5when
I had the map of it
all5| and Poldy
not Irish enough was it him managed it this time I wouldnt put it past him like
he got me on to sing in the Stabat Mater by going around saying he was putting
|5lead
Lead5|
Kindly Light to music till the jesuits found out he was a freemason thumping the
piano
|5thou
lead5|
Thou me on copied from some old opera yes and he was going about with some of
them Sinner Fein lately or whatever they call themselves talking his usual trash
and nonsense he says that little man he showed me without the neck is very
intelligent the coming man Griffiths is he well he doesnt look it thats all I
can say still it must have been him he knew there was a boycott I hate the
mention of their politics after the war that Pretoria and Ladysmith and
Bloemfontein where Gardner Lieut Stanley G 8th Bn
|5Somerset
Lt Infantry killed 2nd East Lancs Rgt of
enteric fever5| he was
a lovely fellow in
|5khaki
kaki5|
Im sure he was brave too he said I was lovely the evening we kissed goodbye at
the canal lock my Irish beauty he was pale with excitement about going away or
wed be seen from the road he couldnt stand properly and I so hot as I never felt
they could have made their peace in the beginning or old oom Paul and the rest
of the old Krugers go and fight it out between them instead of dragging on for
years killing any finelooking men there were I love to see a regiment pass in
review the first time I saw the Spanish cavalry at La Roque it was lovely after
looking across the bay from Algeciras all the lights of the rock like fireflies
or those sham battles on the 15 acres the Black Watch with their kilts in time
|5the
hussars or the lancers O the lancers theyre
grand5| or the Dublins
|5that
won Tugela5| his
father made his money over selling the horses for the cavalry well he
{u21, 835}
could buy me a nice present up in Belfast after what I gave him theyve
{u22, 701}
lovely linen up there or one of those nice kimono things I must buy a
mothball like I had before to keep in the drawer with them it would be exciting
going round with him shopping buying those things in a new city better leave
this ring behind want to keep turning and turning to get it over the knuckle
there or they might bell it round the town in their papers or tell the police on
me but theyd think were married O let them all go and smother themselves for all
I care he has plenty of money and hes not a marrying man so
|5someone
somebody5|
better get it out of him if I could find out whether he likes me I looked a bit
washy of course when I looked close in the handglass powdering a mirror never
gives you the expression besides scrooching down on me like that all the time
with his big hipbones hes heavy too with his hairy chest for this heat always
having to lie down for them better for him put it into me from behind the way
Mrs Mastiansky told me her husband made her like the dogs do it and stick out
her tongue as far as ever she could and he so quiet and mild with his tingating
cither
|5you
never can can you
ever5| be up to men
the way it takes them lovely stuff in that blue suit he had on and stylish tie
and socks with the skyblue silk things on them hes certainly well off but he was
like a perfect devil for a few minutes after he came back with the stop press
tearing up the
|5ticket
tickets5|
and swearing blazes because he lost 20 quid he said he lost over that outsider
that won and half he put on for me on account of Lenehans tip
|5cursing
him to the lowest
pits5| that sponger he
was making free with me after the Glencree dinner coming back that long joult
over the featherbed mountain I first noticed him at dessert when I was cracking
the nuts with my teeth I wished I could have picked every morsel of that chicken
out of my fingers it was so tasty and browned and as tender as anything those
forks and fishslicers were hallmarked silver too I wish I had some I could
easily have slipped a couple into my muff when I was playing with them
|5thenº5|
always hanging out of them for money in
{u21, 836}
a restaurant
|5for the
bit you put down your
throat5| we have to be
thankful for our mangy cup of tea
|5itselfº5|
as a great compliment to be noticed the way the world is divided in any case if
its going to go on I want at least two other good chemises
|5for one
thing5| and but I dont
know what kind of drawers he likes none at all I think didnt he say
|5yes
and5| half the girls
in Gibraltar never wore them either naked as God made them
|5that
Andalusian singing her Manola she didnt make much secret of what she hadnt yes
and5| the
{u22, 702}
second pair of silkette stockings is laddered after one days wear I could
have brought them back to Sparrows this morning and made them change them only
not to run the risk of walking into him and ruining the whole thing and one of
those kidfitting corsets Id want advertised cheap in the Gentlewoman with
elastic gores on the hips he saved the one I have but thats no good what did
they say they give a delightful figure line 11/6 obviating that unsightly broad
appearance across the lower back to reduce flesh my belly is a bit too big Ill
have to knock off the stout at dinner the last they sent from ORourkes was as
flat as a pancake he makes his money easy Larry they call him the old mangy
parcel he sent at Xmas a cottage cake and a bottle of
|5hogwash
called5| claret that
he couldnt get anyone to drink God spare his spit for fear hed die of the drouth
or I must do a few breathing exercises I wonder is that antifat any good might
overdo it thin ones are not so much the fashion now garters that much I have the
violet pair I wore today thats all he bought me out of the cheque he got on the
first O no there was the face lotion I finished the last of yesterday that made
my skin like new I told him get that made up in the same place and dont forget
it God only knows whether he did
|5after
all I said to him5|
Ill know by the bottle anyway if not I suppose Ill only have to wash in my piss
like beeftea or chickensoup with some of that opoponax and violet I thought it
was beginning to look coarse or old a bit the skin underneath is much finer
where it peeled off there on my finger after the burn its a pity it isnt all
like that and the four paltry handkerchiefs about 6/- in all sure you cant get
on in this world without style all going in food and rent when
{u21, 837}
I get it Ill lash it around
|5I tell
you in fine style I always want to throw a handful of tea into the pot measuring
and mincing5| if I buy
a pair of old brogues itself do you like those new shoes yes how much were they
Ive no clothes at all cutting up
|5an
this5|
old hat and patching up the other the men wont look at you and women try to walk
on you for the four years more I have of life up to 35 no Im what am I
|5at
all5| Ill be
thirtythree in September O well look at that Mrs Galbraith shes much older than
me I saw her when I was out last week her beautys on the wane she was a lovely
woman magnificent head of hair on her down to her waist like Kitty OShea in
Grantham street 1st thing I did every morning
{u22, 703}
to look across see her combing it as if she loved it and was full of it
pity I only got to know her the day before we left and that Mrs Langtry the
Jersey Lily the prince of Wales was in love with I suppose hes like the first
man going the roads only for the name of a king theyre all made the one way a
beauty up to what was she fortyfive there was some funny story about the jealous
old husband what was it at all and an oyster knife he went no he made her wear a
kind of a tin thing round her and the prince of Wales yes he had the oyster
knife cant be true a thing like that like some of those books he brings me the
works of Master Francois somebody supposed to be a priest about a child born out
of her ear because her bumgut fell out a nice word for any priest to write with
that old blackguards face on him
|5anyone
anybody5|
can see its not true and that Ruby and Fair Tyrants he brought me that twice I
remember when I came to page 50 the part about where she hangs him up out of a
hook with a cord flagellate sure theres nothing for a woman in that all
invention
|5made up
about he drinking
the champagne out of her slipper after the ball was
over5| like the infant
Jesus in the crib at Inchicore in the
|5blessed
virgins Blessed
Virgins5| arms sure no
woman could have a child that big taken out of her because how could she
{u21, 838}
go to the chamber when she wanted to and she a rich lady he ought to chuck
that Freeman with the paltry few shillings he knocks out of it and go into an
office or something where hed get regular money of course he prefers plottering
about the house so you cant stir with him any side whats your programme today or
pretending to be mooching about for advertisements when he could have been in Mr
Cuffes still only for what he did then sending me to try and patch it up I could
have got him promoted there to be the manager he gave me a great eye once or
twice first he was as stiff as the mischief really and truly Mrs Bloom only I
felt rotten simply with the old rubbishy dress that I lost the
|5lead
leads5|
out of the tails with no cut in it but theyre coming into fashion again I bought
it simply to please him I knew it was no good by the finish pity I changed my mind of going to Todd and
{u22, 704}
Burns as I said and not Lees it was just like the shop itself rummage sale
a lot of trash nothing kills me altogether only he thinks he knows a great lot
about a womans dress and cooking mathering everything he can scour off the
shelves into it if I went by his advices every blessed hat I put on does that
suit me yes take that thats alright the one like a weddingcake standing up miles
off my head he said suited me or the dishcover one coming down on my backside on
pins and needles about the shopgirl in that place in Grafton street I had the
misfortune to bring him into and she as insolent as ever she could be with her
smirk saying Im afraid were giving you too much trouble what shes there for but
I stared it out of her yes he was awfully stiff and no wonder but he changed the
second time he looked Poldy pigheaded as usual like the soup but I could see him
looking very hard at my chest Im extremely sorry Mrs Bloom believe
{u21, 839}
me without making it too marked the first time after him being insulted and
me being supposed to be his wife I just half smiled I know my chest was out that
way at the door when he said Im extremely sorry and Im sure you
were|5.5|
I think he made them a bit firmer sucking them like that so long he made me
thirsty titties he calls them I had to laugh yes this one anyhow Ill get him to
keep that up and Ill take those eggs beaten up with marsala fatten them out for
him what are all those veins and things curious the way its made two the same in
case of twins theyre supposed to represent beauty placed up there like those
statues in the museum one of them pretending to hide it with her hand are they
so beautiful of course compared with what a man looks like with his two bags
full and his other thing hanging down out of
|5her
him5|
or sticking up at you like a hatrack no wonder they hide it with a cabbageleaf
that disgusting Cameron highlander behind the meat market or that other wretch
with the red head behind the tree when I was passing pretending he was pissing
standing out for me to see it with his babyclothes up to one side the
|5queens
Queens5| own
{u22, 705}
they were a nice lot its well the Surreys relieved them I tried to draw a
picture of it before I tore it up like a sausage or something I wonder theyre
not afraid going about of getting a kick or a bang of something there the woman
is beauty of course thats admitted when he said I could pose for a picture naked
to some rich fellow in Holles street when he lost the job in Helys and I was
selling the clothes and strumming in the coffee palace would I be like that bath of the nymph
{u21, 840}
with my hair down yes only shes younger or Im a little like that dirty
bitch in that Spanish photo he has nymphs used they go about like that I asked
him and that word met something with hoses in it and he came out with some
jawbreakers about the incarnation he never can explain a thing simply the way a
body can understand then he goes and burns the bottom out of the pan all for his
kidney this one not so much theres the mark of his teeth still where he tried to
bite the nipple I had to scream out arent they fearful trying to hurt you I had
a great breast of milk with Milly enough for two
|5what
was the reason of
that5| he said I could
have got a pound a week as a wet nurse all swelled out the morning that delicate
looking student that stopped in no 28 with the Citrons Penrose nearly caught me
washing through the window only for I snapped up the towel to my face that was
his studenting hurt me they used to weaning her till he got doctor Brady to give
me the Belladonna prescription I had to get him to suck them they were so hard
he said it was sweeter and thicker than cows then he wanted to milk me into the
tea well hes beyond everything I declare somebody ought to put him in the budget
if I only could remember the one half of the things and write a book out of it
the works of Master Poldy yes and its so much smoother the skin much an hour he
was at them Im sure by the clock
|5all the
pleasure those men get out of a
woman5| I can feel his
mouth O Lord I must stretch myself I wished he was here or somebody to let
myself go with or if I could dream it when he made me spend the 2nd time
tickling me behind with his finger I was coming for about five minutes I had to
hug him after O Lord I wanted to shout out all sorts of things fuck or shit or
anything at all only not to look ugly or those lines from the strain who knows
the way hed take it you want to feel your way with a man theyre not all like him thank God some of
{u22, 706}
them want you to be so nice about it I noticed the contrast he does it and
doesnt talk I gave my eyes that look with my hair a bit loose from the tumbling
and my tongue between my lips up to him
|5the
savage brute5| Thursday Friday one Saturday two
{u21, 841}
Sunday three O Lord I cant wait till
Monday|5.5|
Frseeeeeeeefronnnng train somewhere whistling the strength those engines
have in them like big giants and the water rolling all over and out of them all
sides like the end of
|5loves
Loves5|
old sweeeetsonnnng the poor men that have to be out all the night from their
wives and families in those roasting engines stifling it was today Im glad I
burned the half of those old Freemans and Photo bits leaving things like that
lying about hes getting very careless and threw the rest of them up in the W C
instead of having them there for the next year to get a few pence for them have
him asking wheres last Januarys paper and all those old overcoats I bundled out
of the hall making the place hotter than it is that rain was lovely just after
my beauty sleep I thought it was going to get like Gibraltar my goodness the
heat there and the glare of the rock standing up in it like a big giant with the
|5red
sentries here and there
the5| poplars and they
all whitehot and the smell of the rainwater in those tanks watching the sun all
the time weltering down on you faded all that lovely frock fathers friend Mrs
Stanhope sent me from the B Marche paris what a shame my dearest Doggerina she
wrote on it she was very nice whats this her other name was just a P C to tell
you I sent the little present have just had a jolly warm bath and feel a very
clean dog now enjoyed it wogger she called him wogger wd give anything to be
back in G and hear you sing in old Madrid or Waiting
|5Concones
Concone5|
is the name of those exercises he bought me one of those new some word I couldnt
make out shawls amusing things but tear for the least thing will always think of
the lovely teas we had together scrumptious currant scones and raspberry wafers
I adore well now dearest Doggerina be sure and write soon kind she left out
regards to your father also Captain Grove with love yrs affly Hester x x x x x
she didnt look a bit married just like a girl he was years older than her wogger
he was awfully fond of me when he held down the wire with his foot for me to
step over at the bullfight at La Linea when that matador Gomez was given the
{u21, 842}
bulls ear these clothes we have to wear whoever invented them expecting you
to walk up Killiney hill then for example at that picnic all staysed up you cant
do a blessed thing in them in a crowd run or jump out of the way
{u22, 707}
thats why I was afraid when that other
|5ferocious5|
old bull began to charge
|5the
banderilleros and the brutes of men shouting bravo toro sure the women were as
bad ripping all the whole insides out of those poor horses I never heard of such
a thing in all my life
yes5| he used to break
his heart at me taking off the dog barking
|5in
|aBell
bella|
lane5| what became of
them ever I suppose theyre dead long ago the two of them its like all through a
mist makes you feel so old I made the scones of course I had everything all to
myself then a girl Hester we used to compare our hair
|5mine
was thicker than
hers5| she showed me
how to settle it at the back when I put it up and whats this else how to make a
knot on a thread with the one hand what age was I then he was watching me
whenever he got an opportunity at the band on the Alameda esplanade when I was
with father and Captain Grove I looked up at the church first and then at the
windows then down and our eyes met I felt something go through me like all
needles my eyes were dancing I remember after when I looked at myself in the
glass hardly recognised myself the change I didnt get a wink of sleep it wouldnt
have been nice on account of her but I could have stopped it in time she gave me
the Moonstone to read that was the first I read of Wilkie Collins East Lynne I
read and the shadow of Ashlydyat Mrs Henry Wood Henry Dunbar by that other woman
|5I
lent him afterwards with Mulveys photo in it so as he see I wasnt
without5| and Lord
Lytton Eugene Aram Molly
|5Bawn
bawn5|
she gave me by Mrs Hungerford on account of the name I dont like books with a
Molly in them like that one he brought me about the one from Flanders a whore
always shoplifting anything she could cloth and stuff and yards of it O this
blanket is too heavy on me thats better I havent even
|5a
one5|
{u21, 843}
decent nightdress this thing gets all rolled under me besides him and his
fooling thats better I used to be weltering then in the heat my shift drenched
with the sweat stuck in the cheeks of my bottom on the chair when I
|5got
stood5|
up they were so fattish and firm when I
|5stood
got
up5| on the table to
see with my clothes up and the bugs at night and the mosquito nets I couldnt
read |5a
line5| Lord how long
ago it seems centuries of course they never came back and she didnt put her
address right on it either she may have noticed her wogger people were always
going away and we never I remember that day with the waves and the boats
{u22, 708}
|5with
their high heads5|
rocking and the smell of ship those officers uniforms on shore leave made me
seasick he didnt say anything he was very serious I had the high buttoned boots
on and my skirt was blowing she kissed me six or seven times didnt I cry
|5yes5|
I believe I did or near it my lips were taittering when I said goodbye she had a
gorgeous wrap on her for the voyage made very peculiarly to one side like and it
was extremely pretty it got as dull as the devil after they went I was almost
planning to run away mad out of it somewhere waiting always waiting to
|5gui-ide
guiiiide5|
him
|5to-oo
toooo5|
me waiting nor
|5spee-eed
speeeed5|
his flying feet their damn guns bursting and booming all over the shop and
throwing everything down in all directions if you didnt open the windows then
the same old
|v5bugles
forv5| reveille
in the morning
|5and
drums rolling5| and
the unfortunate poor devils of soldiers walking about with messtins smelling the
place more than the old jews in their jellibees assembly and sound clear and
gunfire for the men to cross the lines and
|5the
warden marching with his keys to lock the gates and the bagpipes
and5| only Captain
Groves and father talking about Rorkes drift and Plevna and Gordon at
|5Khartoum
Kartoum5|
lighting their pipes for them everytime they went out drunken old devil with his grog on the windowsill catch him
{u21, 844}
leaving any of it picking his nose trying to think of some other dirty
story to tell up in a corner but he never forgot himself when I was there paying
his compliments the Bushmills whisky talking of course but hed do the same to
the next woman that came along I suppose he died
|5from
of5|
galloping drink ages ago the days like years not a letter from a living soul
except the odd few I posted to myself with bits of paper in them so bored
sometimes I could fight with my nails as bad as now with the hands hanging off
me
|5looking
out of the window if there was a nice fellow even in the opposite
house5| the meat and
the coalmans bell and no visitors or post ever except his cheques or some
advertisement like that wonderworker they sent him addressed dear Madam only his
letter and the card from Milly this morning see she wrote a letter to him who
did I get the last letter from O Mrs Dwenn now what possessed her to write after
so many years Floey Dillon since she wrote to say she was married to a very rich
architect if Im to believe
|5it
all I
hear5| with a villa
and eight rooms her father was an awfully nice man he was near seventy always
goodhumoured well now Miss Tweedy or Miss Gillespie theres the
|5piannyer
pyannyerº5|
then dying so far away
{u21, 845}
I hate people that have always their poor story to tell everybody has their
own troubles that poor Nancy Blake died a month ago of acute neumonia well I
didnt know her so well as all that she was Floeys friend more than mine its a
bother having to answer he always tells me the wrong things and no stops to say
like making a speech your sad bereavement symphathy I always
make that mistake and newphew with
|5you
2 double
yous5| in I hope hell
write me a longer letter the next time if its a thing he really likes me O
thanks be to the great God I got somebody to give me what I badly wanted youve
no chances at all in this place like you used long ago I wish somebody would
write me a loveletter in Old Madrid silly women believe love is sighing I am
dying still if he wrote it I suppose thered be some truth in it true or no it
fills up your whole day and life always something to think about every moment
and see it all round you like a new world I could write the answer in bed to let
him imagine me short just a few words not those long crossed letters Atty Dillon
used to write to the fellow that jilted her out of the ladies letterwriter
acting with precipit precipitancy with equal candour the greatest earthly
happiness answer to a gentlemans proposal affirmatively my goodness theres nothing else its all very fine for them
{u22, 710}
but as for being a woman as soon as youre old they might as well throw you
out
|5into
in the bottom of5| the ashpit.
Mulveys was the first when I was in bed that morning and Mrs Rubio brought
it in with the coffee she stood there standing when I asked her to hand me and I
pointing at them I couldnt think of the word a hairpin to open it with ah
horquilla disobliging old thing with her switch of false hair on her and vain
about her appearance ugly as she was near eighty
|5her
face a mass of
wrinkles5| with all
her religion domineering because she never could get over the Union Jack flying and because I didn't run
{u21, 846}
into mass often enough in Santa Maria to please her with all her miracles
of the saints and the sun dancing 3 times on
|5easter
Easter5|
Sunday morning an admirer he signed it I near jumped out of my skin I wanted to
pick him up when I saw him following me along the Calle Real in the shop window
then he tipped me just in passing but I never thought hed write making an
appointment I had it inside my petticoat bodice all day reading it up in every
hole and corner to find out by the handwriting or the language of stamps singing
I remember shall I wear a white rose he was the first man kissed me under the
Moorish wall it never entered my head what kissing meant till he put his tongue
in my mouth his mouth was sweetlike young I put my knee up to him a few times to
learn the way what did I tell him I was engaged for for fun to the son of a
Spanish nobleman named Don Miguel de la Flora and he believed me that I was to
be married to him in three years time theres many a true word spoken in jest the
flowers that bloom in the spring trala a few things I told him true about myself
just for him to be imagining the Spanish girls he didnt like I suppose one of
them wouldnt have him I got him excited he crushed all the flowers on my bosom
he brought me he couldnt count the pesetas till I taught him
|5Waterford
Cappoquin5|
he came from he said on the
|5black
water
Blackwaterº5|
but it was too short then the day before he left up on the tiptop under the
rockgun near OHaras tower I told him all about the old
{u22, 711}
Barbary apes they sent to Clapham without a tail careering all over the
show on each others back Mrs Rubio said she was a regular old rock scorpion
robbing the chickens out of Inces farm and throw stones at you if you went anear
he was looking at me I had that white blouse on open in the front to encourage
him as much as I could without too openly they
{u21, 847}
were just beginning to be plump I said I was tired we lay over the firtree
cove a wild place I suppose it must be the highest rock in existence the
galleries and casemates and those frightful rocks and Saint Michaels cave with
the icicles or whatever they call them hanging down and ladders all the mud
plotching my boots Im sure thats the way down the monkeys go under the sea to
Africa when they die the ships out far like chips and the sky you could do what
you liked he caressed them outside they love doing that its the roundness there
I was leaning over him with my white ricestraw hat to take the newness out of it
the left side of my face the best my blouse open for his last day he wanted to
touch mine with his for a moment but I wouldnt let him for fear you never know
consumption or leave me with a child that old servant Ines told me that one drop
even if it got into you at all after I tried with the banana but I was afraid it
might break and get lost up in me somewhere because they once took something
down out of a woman that was up there for years covered with limesalts theyre
all mad to get in there where they come out of youd think they could never go
far enough up and then theyre done with you in a way till the next time yes
because theres a wonderful feeling there so tender all the time how did we
finish it off yes O yes I pulled him off into my handkerchief pretending not to
be excited but I opened my legs I wouldnt let him touch me inside my petticoat
because I had a skirt opening up the side I tormented the life out of him first
I loved rousing that dog in the hotel rrrsssstt awokwokawok his eyes shut and a
bird flying below us he was shy all the same I liked him like that moaning I
made him blush a little when I got over him that way when I unbuttoned him and
took his out and drew back the skin it had a kind of eye in it theyre all
buttons men down the middle on the wrong side of them Molly darling he called me
what was his name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it yes I think a lieutenant he was
rather fair he had a laughing kind of a voice so I went round to the whatyoucallit everything was whatyoucallit
{u21, 848}
moustache had he he said hed come back Lord its just like yesterday to me
and if I was married hed do it to me and I promised him yes faithfully Id let him block
{u22, 712}
me now flying perhaps hes dead or killed or a Captain or admiral its nearly
20 years if I said firtree cove he would if he came up behind me and put his
hands over my eyes to guess who I might recognise him hes young still about
forty perhaps hes married some girl on the black water I was a bit wild after
coming back the same way that we went round by the old jews burialplace
pretending to read out the Hebrew on them I wanted to fire his pistol he said he
hadnt one he didnt know what to make of me with his peak cap on that he always
wore crooked H M S
|5Bellisle
Calypso5|
swinging my hat that old bishop that spoke off the altar his long preach about
womans higher functions about girls now riding the bicycle and wearing peak caps
and the new woman bloomers God send him sense and me more money I suppose theyre
called after him I never thought that would be my name Bloom when I used to
write it in print to see how it looked on a visiting card or practising for the
butcher and oblige M Bloom youre looking blooming Josie used to say after I
married him well its better than Breen or those awful names with bottom in them
Mrs Ramsbottom or some other kind of a bottom Mulvey I wouldnt go mad about
either the fun we had running along Williss road to Europa point twisting in and
out all round the other side of Jersey they were shaking and dancing about in my
blouse like Millys little ones now when she runs up the stairs I was jumping up
at the pepper trees pulling the leaves off and throwing them at him he went to
India he was to write the voyages those men have to make to the ends of the
world and back its the least they might get a squeeze or two at a woman while
they can going out to be drowned or blown up somewhere I went up windmill hill
to the flats that Sunday morning with Captain Rubios that was dead spyglass he
said hed have one or two from on board I wore that frock from the B Marche Paris
and the coral necklace I could see over to Morocco almost the bay of Tangier
{u22, 713}
white and the Atlas mountain with snow on it and the straits like a river
so clear Harry Molly Darling I was thinking of him on the sea all the time after
at mass when my petticoat began to slip down at the elevation weeks and weeks I
kept the handkerchief under my pillow for the smell of him there was no decent
perfume to be got in that Gibraltar only that cheap peau dEspagne that faded and
left a stink on you more than anything else I wanted to give him a memento he
gave me that clumsy Claddagh ring for luck that I gave Gardner going to south
Africa where those Boers killed him
|5with
their war and
fever5| but they
were well beaten all the same as if it brought its bad luck with it still it
must have been pure 18 carrot gold because it was very heavy I can see his face
cleanshaven Frseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrong that train again weeping tone once in
the dear
|5de-ead
deaead5|
days beyondre call close my eyes breath my lips forward kiss sad look eyes open
piano ere oer the world the mists began I hate that istsbeg comes loves sweet
sooooooooooong Ill let that out full Kathleen Kearney and her lot of squealers
|5skitting
around talking about politics they know as much about as my backside anything in
the world to make themselves someway
interesting5| theyd
die down dead if
|5they
ever ever
they5| got a chance of
walking down the Alameda on an officers arm like me on the bandnight my eyes
flash my bust that they havent passion God help their
|5poor5|
head I knew
{u21, 850}
more about men and life when I was 15 than theyll all know at 50 they dont
know how to sing a song like that Gardner said no man could look at my mouth and
teeth smiling like that and not think of it I was afraid he mightnt like my
accent first he so English let them get a husband first thats fit to be looked
at and a daughter like mine or see if they can excite a swell with money that
can pick and choose whoever he wants like Boylan to do it
|55
or 6 4 or
55| times locked in
each others arms or the voice either comes
|5lo-oves
looooves5|
old deep down chin back not too much make it double My Ladys Bower is too long
for an encore about the moated grange at twilight and
|5vaulted
vaunted5|
rooms yes Ill sing Winds that blow from the south that he gave after the
choirstairs performance
|5Ill
change that lace on my black dress to show off my
bubs and Ill yes by
{u22, 714}
God Ill get
that big fan
mended5| my hole is
itching me I feel some wind in me better go easy not wake him have him at it
again slobbering after washing every bit of myself back belly and sides I wish
hed sleep in some bed by himself with his cold feet on me give us room even to
let a fart God or do the least thing better yes hold them like that a bit on my
side piano quietly sweeeee theres that train far away pianissimo eeeeeeee one
more
tsong|5.5|
|5That
that5|
was a relief wherever you be let your wind go free
|5who
knows if that pork chop I took with my cup of tea after was quite good with
the heat I couldnt smell anything off it Im sure that queerlooking man in the
porkbutchers is a great
rogue5| I hope that
lamp is not smoking fill my nose up with smuts better than having him leaving
the gas on all night I couldnt rest easy in my bed in Gibraltar even getting up
to see why am I so damned nervous about that though I like it in the winter its
more company O Lord it was rotten cold too that winter when I was only about ten
was I yes I had the big doll with all the funny clothes dressing her up and undressing that icy wind skeeting
{u21, 851}
across from those mountains the something Nevada sierra nevada standing at
the fire with the little bit of a short shift I had up to heat myself I loved
dancing about in it then make a race back into bed Im sure that fellow opposite
used to be there the whole time watching with the lights out in the summer and I
in my skin hopping around I used to love myself then stripped at the washstand
dabbing and creaming goodbye to my sleep for this night anyhow I hope hes not
going to get in with those medicals leading him astray to imagine hes young
again coming in waking me up at 2 in the morning it must be if not more what do
they find to gabber about all night squandering money and getting drunker and
drunker then he starts giving us his orders for eggs and tea and Finnan haddy
and hot buttered toast I suppose well have him sitting up like
|5a
the5|
king |5of
the country5| pumping
the wrong end of the spoon up and down in his egg wherever he learned that and I
love to hear him falling up the stairs of a morning with the cups rattling on
the tray and then play with the cat
|5she
rubs up against you for her own
sake5| I wonder has
she fleas shes as bad as a woman always licking and lecking but I hate their
claws I wonder do they see anything that we cant staring like that always
{u22, 715}
what a robber too that lovely fresh
|5plaice
place5|
I bought I think Ill get a bit of fish tomorrow or today
|5it
is is
it5| Friday yes I will
with some blancmange with black currant jam like long ago not those 2 lb pots of
mixed plum and apple from the London and Newcastle Williams and Woods goes twice
as far only for the bones I hate those eels cod yes Ill get a nice piece of cod
Im always getting enough for 3 forgetting anyway Im sick of that everlasting
butchers meat
|5from
Buckleys5| or a picnic
suppose we drove out to the furry glen or the strawberry beds with some cold
veal and ham mixed sandwiches there are little houses down at the bottom of the
banks there on purpose but its as hot as blazes he says not a bank holiday
anyhow I hate those ruck out for the day Whit Monday is a cursed day too no
wonder that bee bit him better the seaside but Id never again in this life get
into a boat with him after him at Bray telling the boatman he knew how to row if
anyone asked could he ride the steeplechase for the gold cup hed say yes
|5missing5|
then it came on to get rough the old thing crookeding about and the weight all
down my side telling me pull the right reins now pull the left and the tide all
swamping in
|5floods
|aina|5|
through the bottom and his oar slipping out of the stirrup its a mercy we werent
all drowned he can swim of course me no theres no danger whatsoever keep
yourself calm in his flannel trousers Id like to have tattered them down off him
before all the people and give him what that one calls flagellate do him all the
good in the world only for that longnosed chap I dont know who he is with that
other beauty Burke out of the City Arms hotel was there spying around as usual
on the slip youd vomit a better face I wonder what kind is that book he brought
me Sweets of Sin by a gentleman of fashion some other Mr de Kock I suppose the
people gave him that nickname going about with his tube from one woman to
another I couldnt even change my new white shoes all ruined with the saltwater
how annoying and provoking because the smell of the sea excited me of course the
sardines and the bream in Catalan bay round the back of the rock they were fine
all silver in the fishermens baskets old Luigi near a hundred they said came from Genoa and the tall old chap with
{u22, 716}
the earrings I dont like a man you have to climb up to to get at I suppose
theyre all dead and rotten long ago besides I dont like being alone in this big
barracks of a place at night I suppose Ill have to put up with it I never
brought a bit of salt in even when we moved in the confusion musical academy he
was going to make on the first floor drawingroom with a
{u21, 853}
brassplate like all the things he told father he was going to do and me but
I saw through him telling me all the lovely places we could go for the honeymoon
Venice by moonlight with the gondolas and the lake of Como he had a picture cut
out of some paper of and mandolines and lanterns O how nice I said whatever I
liked he was going to do immediately if not sooner will you be my man will you
carry my can he ought to get a leather medal with a putty rim for all the plans
he invents then leaving us here all day youd never know what old beggar at the
door for a crust with his long story might be a tramp and put his foot in the
way to prevent me shutting it like that picture of that hardened criminal he was
called in Lloyds Weekly news 20 years in jail then he comes out and murders an
old woman for her money imagine his poor wife or mother or whoever she is such a
face youd run miles away from I couldnt rest easy till I bolted all the doors
and windows to
|5makesure
make
sure5| but its worse
again being locked up like in a prison or a madhouse they ought to be all shot
or the cat of nine tails a big brute like that that would attack a poor old
woman to murder her in her bed Id cut them off him so I would not that hed be
much use still better than nothing the night I thought I heard burglars in the
kitchen and he went down in his shirt with a candle and a poker as white as a
sheet frightened out of his wits making as much noise as he possibly could for
the burglars benefit there isnt much to steal indeed the Lord knows still its
the feeling especially now with Milly away such an idea for him to send the girl
down there to learn to take photographs only hed do a thing like that all the
same on account of me and Boylan thats why he did it Im certain the way he plots
and plans everything out I couldnt turn round with her in the place lately gave
me the fidgets coming in without knocking first when I put the chair against the
door just as I was washing myself there below with the glove get on your nerves then doing the loglady all day put
{u21, 854}
her in a glasscase with two at a time to look at her if he knew she broke
off the hand off that little gimcrack statue with her roughness and carelessness that I got that little Italian
{u22, 717}
boy to mend so that you cant see the join for two shillings wouldnt even
teem the potatoes for you of course shes right not to ruin her hands I noticed
he was always talking to her lately at the table explaining things in the paper
and she pretending to understand sly of course that comes from his side of the
house he cant say I pretend things can he Im too honest as a matter of fact I
suppose he thinks Im finished out and laid on the shelf well Im not no nor
anything like it shes well on for flirting too with Tom Devans two sons
imitating me whistling with those romps of Murray girls calling for her can
Milly come out please shes in great demand to pick what they can out of her
round in Nelson street riding Harry Devans bicycle at night its as well he sent
her where she is she was just getting out of bounds wanting to go on the
skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes I smelt it off her dress when I was
biting off the thread of the button I sewed on to the bottom of her jacket she
couldnt hide much from me
|5I tell
you5| only I oughtnt
to have stitched it and it on her it brings a parting and the last plumpudding
too split in 2 halves see it comes out no matter what they say her tongue is too
long for my taste your blouse is open too low she says to me the pan calling the
kettle blackbottom and I had to tell her not to cock her legs up like that on
show on the windowsill before all the people passing they all look at her like
me when I was her age of course any old rag looks well on you then a great
touchmenot too in her own way at the Only Way in the Theatre royal take your
foot away out of that I hate people touching me afraid of her life Id crush her
skirt with the pleats a lot of that touching must go on in theatres in the crush
in the dark theyre always trying to wiggle up to you that fellow in the pit at
the Gaiety for Beerbohm Tree in Trilby the last time Ill ever go there to be
squashed like that for any Trilby or barebum every two minutes tipping me there
and looking away hes a bit daft I think I saw him
{u21, 855}
after trying to get near two stylishdressed ladies outside Switzers window
at the same little game I recognised him on the moment but he didnt remember me
and she didnt even want me to kiss her at the Broadstone going away well I hope
shell get someone to dance attendance on her the way I did when she was down
with the mumps wheres this and wheres that of course she cant feel anything deep
yet I never came properly till I was what twentytwo or so only the usual girls
nonsense and giggling that Conny Connolly writing to her in white ink on black
paper sealed with sealingwax though she clapped
{u22, 718}
when the curtain came down because he looked so handsome then we had Martin
Harvey for breakfast dinner and supper I thought to myself afterwards it must be
real love if a man gives up his life for her that way for nothing I suppose
there are a few men like that left its hard to believe in it though unless it
really happened to me the majority of them with not a particle of love in their
natures to find two people like that nowadays full up of each other theyre
usually a bit foolish in the head shes always making love to my things too the
few old rags I have wanting to put her hair up at fifteen my powder too only
ruin her skin on her shes time enough for that all her life after of course shes
restless knowing shes pretty I was too but theres no use going to the fair with
the thing answering me like a fishwoman when I asked to go for a half a stone of
potatoes the day we met Mrs Joe Gallaher at the trottingmatches and she
pretended not to see us in her trap with Friery the solicitor we werent grand
enough till I gave her a damn fine crack across the ear for herself take that
now for answering me like that she had me that exasperated that was the last
time she turned on the teartap I was just like that myself they darent order me
about the place its his fault of course having the two of us slaving here
instead of getting in a woman long ago am I ever going to have a proper servant
again that old Mrs Fleming you have to be walking round after her putting the
things into her hands sneezing and farting into the pots well of course shes old
she cant help it a good job I found that rotten old smelly dishcloth that got
lost behind the dresser I knew there was something and opened the window to let
out the smell bringing in his friends to entertain them especially Simon Dedalus
son his father such a criticiser with his glasses up with his tall hat on him at
the cricket match and a great big hole in his sock one thing laughing at the
other and his son that got all those prizes for whatever he won them in the
intermediate imagine hawking him down into the dirty old kitchen now is he right
in his head I ask my old pair of drawers might have been hanging up too on the
line on exhibition for all hed ever care with the ironmould mark the stupid old
bundle burned on them he might think was something else and she never even
rendered down the fat I told her and now shes going such as she was on account
of her paralysed husband getting worse theres always something wrong with them
disease or if its not that its drink and Ill have to hunt around again for
someone sweet God sweet God well when Im stretched out dead in my grave I
suppose Ill have some peace I want to get up a minute if Im let wait O Jesus
wait yes that thing has come on me yes now wouldnt that afflict you of course
all the poking and rooting he had up in me now what am I to do Friday Saturday
Sunday wouldnt that pester the soul out of a body unless he likes it
{u21, 857}
some men do God knows theres always something wrong with us
|5five
days 5
days5| every 3 or 4
weeks usual monthly auction isnt it simply sickening that night it came on me
like that the one time we were in a box that Michael Gunn gave him to see Mrs
Kendal and her husband at the Gaiety something he did about insurance for him in
Drimmies I was fit to be tied though I wouldnt give in with that gentleman of
fashion staring down at me with his glasses and him the other side of me talking
about Spinoza and his soul thats dead I suppose
|5thousands
millions5|
of years ago I smiled the best I could all in a swamp leaning forward as if I
was interested having to sit it out then to the last tag I wont forget that wife
of Scarli in a hurry supposed to be a fast play about adultery that idiot in the
gallery hissing the woman adulteress he shouted I suppose he went and had a
woman in the next lane running round all the back ways after to make up for it I
wish he had what I had then hed boo I bet the cat itself is better off than us
have we too much blood up in us or what O patience above its pouring out of me
like the sea anyhow he didnt make me pregnant as big as he is I dont want to
ruin the clean sheets the clean linen I wore brought it on too damn it damn it
and they always want to see a stain on the bed to know youre a virgin for them
all thats troubling them theyre such fools too you could be a widow or divorced
forty times over a daub of red ink would do or blackberry juice no thats too
purply O let me up out of this pooh sweets of sin whoever suggested that
business for women what between clothes and cooking and children this
{u22, 720}
damned old bed too jingling like the dickens I suppose they could hear us
away over the other side of the town till I suggested to put the quilt on the
floor with the pillow under my bottom I wonder is it nicer in the day I think it
is easy I think Ill cut all this hair off me there scalding me I might look like
a young girl wheres the chamber gone easy Ive a holy horror of its breaking
under me after that old commode I wonder was I too heavy sitting on his knee
|5when
I took off only my blouse and skirt
first5| he was so busy he
{u21, 858}
never felt me easy God I remember one time I could
|5do
scout5|
it out straight whistling like a man almost easy O Lord how noisy I bet he never
saw a better pair of thighs than that look how white they are the smoothest
place is right there between
|5this
bit here how soft like a peach easy God
I wouldnt mind being a
man and get up on a lovely woman
|aO Lord what a row youre
makinga| like the jersey
lily5| easy easy O how
the waters come down at
Lahore|5.5|
I wonder is there anything the matter with my insides getting that thing
like that every week when was it last I Whit Monday yes its only about three
weeks I ought to go to the doctor only it would be like before I married him
when I had that white thing coming from me and Floey made me go to that dry old
stick Dr Collins for womens diseases on Pembroke road your vagina he called it I
suppose thats how he got all the gilt mirrors and carpets getting round those
rich ones off Stephens green running up to him for every little fiddlefaddle her
vagina and her cochinchina theyve money of course so theyre all right I wouldnt
marry him not if he was the last man in the world smelling around those filthy
bitches all sides asking me if what I did had an offensive odour what did he
want me to do but the one thing gold maybe what a question if I smathered it all
over his wrinkly old face for him I suppose hed know then
|5and
could you pass it easily pass what I thought he was talking about the rock of
Gibraltar the way he put
it5| thats a very nice
invention too by the way only I like letting myself down after as far as I can
squeeze and pull the chain then to flush it nice cool pins and needles still
theres something in it I suppose I always used to know by Millys when she was a
child whether she was well or not still all the same paying him for that how much
{u22, 721}
is that doctor one guinea please and asking me had I frequent omissions
where do those old fellows get all the words they have omissions with his
shortsighted eyes on me cocked sideways I wouldnt trust him too far to give me
{u21, 859}
chloroform or God knows what else he was clever enough to spot that of
course that was all thinking of him and his mad crazy letters my Precious one
everything connected with your glorious body everything underlined that comes
from it is a thing of beauty and of joy for ever something he got out of some
book that he had me always at myself four and five times a day sometimes and I
said I hadnt are you sure O yes I said I am quite sure in a way that shut him up
I knew what was coming next only natural weakness it was he excited me I dont
know how the first night ever we met when I was living in Rehoboth terrace we
stood staring at one another for about 10 minutes he used to amuse me the things
he said with the half sloothering smile on him and all the Doyles said he was
going to stand for a member of parliament O wasnt I the fool to believe all his
blather about home rule and the land league sending me that long strool of a
song out of the Huguenots to sing in French to be more classy O beau pays de la
Touraine that I never even sang once then might he as a great favour the very
1st opportunity he got a chance in Brighton square running into my bedroom
pretending the ink got on his hands to wash it off with the Albion milk and
sulphur soap I used to use and the gelatine still round it O I laughed myself
sick at him that day I better not make an
|5allnight
alnight5|
sitting on this affair they ought to make them a bit bigger so that a woman
could sit on it properly he kneels down to do it I suppose there isnt in all
creation another man with the habits he has look at the way hes sleeping at the
foot of the bed its well he doesnt kick or he might knock out all my teeth
breathing with his hand on his nose like that Indian god he took me to show one
wet Sunday in the museum in Kildare street all yellow in a pinafore lying on his
side on his hand with his ten toes sticking out that he said was a bigger religion than
{u21, 860}
the jews and Our Lords put together all over Asia imitating him as hes
always imitating everybody I suppose he used to sleep at the foot of the bed too
with his big square feet up in his wifes mouth damn this stinking thing anyway wheres this those napkins
{u22, 722}
are ah yes I know I hope the old press doesnt creak ah I knew it would hes
sleeping hard still she must have given him great value for his money of course
he has to pay for it from her O this nuisance of a thing I hope theyll have
something better for us in the other world tying ourselves up God help us thats
all right for tonight now the lumpy old jingly bed always reminds me of old
Cohen I suppose he scratched himself in it often enough easy piano God here we
are as bad as ever after sixteen years every time were just getting on right
something happens or he puts his big foot in it Thoms and Helys and Mr Cuffes
and Drimmies either hes going to be run into prison over his old lottery tickets
that was to be all our salvations or he goes and gives impudence well have him
coming home with the sack soon out of the Freeman too like the rest on account
of those Sinner Fein or the freemasons then well see if the little man he showed
me dribbling along in the wet all by himself round by Coadys lane will give him
much consolation that he says is so capable and sincerely Irish he is indeed
judging by the sincerity of the trousers I saw on him wait theres Georges church
bells wait three quarters the hour one two oclock well thats a nice hour for him
to be coming home at to anybody climbing down into the area if anybody saw him
Ill knock him off that little habit tomorrow first Ill see if he has that French letter still in his pocketbook
{u21, 861}
I suppose he thinks I dont know then tucked up in bed like those babies in
the Aristocrats Masterpiece he brought me another time as if we hadnt enough of
that in real life without some old Aristocrat or whatever his name is disgusting
you more with those rotten pictures children with two heads and no legs thats
the kind of villainy theyre always dreaming about with not another thing in
their empty heads then tea and toast for him
|5buttered
on both sides5| and newlaid eggs I suppose Im nothing any
{u22, 723}
more when I wouldnt let him lick me in Holles street one night man man
tyrant as ever for the one thing he slept on the floor half the night naked and
wouldnt eat any breakfast or speak a word wanting to be petted so I thought I
stood out enough for one time and let him he does it all wrong too thinking only
of his own pleasure he forgets that wethen I dont Ill make him do it again if he
doesnt mind himself I wonder was it her Josie off her head with my castoffs hes
such a born liar too no hed never have the courage with a married woman thats
why he wants me and Boylan though as for Denis as she calls him that
forlornlooking spectacle you couldnt call him a husband yes its some little
bitch hes got in with even when I was with him with Milly at the College races
that Hornblower with the
|5childs5|
hat on his nob let us into
|5by the
back way5| he was
throwing his sheeps eyes at those two
|5doing
skirt duty up and
down5| I tried to wink
at him first no use of course and thats the way his money goes this is the
fruits of Mr Paddy Dignam yes they were all in great style at the grand funeral
in the paper Boylan brought in L Boom and Tom Kernan that drunken little
barrelly man that bit his tongue off falling down the mens W C drunk in some
place or other and Martin Cunningham and the two Dedaluses and Fanny MCoys husband white head of cabbage
{u21, 862}
skinny thing with a turn in her eye trying to sing my songs shed want to be
born all over again and her old green dress like dabbling on a rainy day I see
it all now plainly and they call that friendship killing and then burying one
another and they all with their wives and families at home more especially Jack
Power keeping that barmaid he does of course his wife is always sick or going to
be sick or just getting better of it and hes a goodlooking man still though hes
getting a bit grey over the ears theyre a nice lot all of them well theyre not
going to get my husband again into their clutches if I can help it making fun of
him then behind his back I know well when he goes on with his idiotics because
he has sense enough not to squander every penny piece he earns down their
gullets goodfornothings poor Paddy Dignam all the same Im sorry in a way for him
what are his wife and five children going to do unless he was insured comical
little teetotum always stuck up in some pub corner and her or her son waiting Bill
{u22, 724}
Bailey wont you please come home what men wasnt he yes he was at the
Glencree dinner and Ben Dollard base barreltone the night he borrowed the
swallowtail to sing out of in Holles street squeezed and squashed into them and
grinning all over his big Dolly face didnt he look a balmy ballocks sure enough
that must have been a spectacle on the stage imagine paying 5/- in the preserved
seats for that and Simon Dedalus too he was always turning up half screwed
singing the second verse first the old love is the new was one of his so sweetly
sang the maiden on the hawthorn bough he was always on for flirtyfying too when
I sang Maritana with him at Freddy Mayers private opera he had a delicious
glorious voice Phoebe dearest goodbye sweetheart sweetheart he always
sang it not like Bartell D'Arcy sweet tart goodbye of course he had
the gift of the voice so there was no art in it all over you like a warm
showerbath O Maritana wildwood flower we sang splendidly though it was a bit too
high for my register even transposed and he was married at the time to May Goulding but then hed say or
{u21, 863}
do something to knock the good out of it hes a widower now I wonder what
sort is his son he says hes an author and going to be a university professor of
Italian and Im to take lessons what is he driving at now I saw him driving down
to the Kingsbridge station with his father and mother I was in mourning thats
eleven years ago now yes hed be eleven though what was the good in going into
mourning for what was neither one thing nor the other of course he insisted hed
go into mourning for the cat I suppose hes a man now by this time he was an
innocent boy then and a darling little fellow in his lord Fauntleroy suit and
curly hair like a prince on the stage when I saw him at Mat Dillons he liked me
too I remember they all do wait by God
|5yes
wait
yes5| he was on the
cards this morning when I laid out the deck a young stranger you met before I
thought it meant him but hes no chicken nor a stranger either didnt I dream
something too yes there was something about poetry in it I hope he hasnt long
greasy hair what do they go about like that for only getting themselves and
their poetry laughed at I always liked poetry when I was a girl first I thought
he was a poet like Byron and not an ounce of it in his composition I thought he
was quite different I wonder is he too young hes about wait 88 I was married 88
Milly is 15 yesterday 89 what age was he then at Dillons 5 or 6 about 88 I
suppose hes 20 or more Im not too old for him if hes 23 or 24 I hope hes not
that stuck up university sort no otherwise he wouldnt go sitting down in the old
kitchen with him taking Eppss cocoa and talking of course he pretended to
understand it all probably he told him he was out of Trinity college hes very young to be a professor I hope hes not a
{u21, 864}
professor like Goodwin was
|5he was
a patent professor of John
Jameson5| they all
write about some woman in their poetry well I suppose he wont find many like me
where softly sighs of love the light guitar where poetry is in the air the blue
sea and the moon shining so beautifully coming back on the nightboat from Tarifa
the guitar that fellow played was so expressive will I ever go back there again
all new faces two glancing eyes a lattice hid Ill sing that for him theyre my
eyes if hes anything of a poet two eyes as
|5softly
darkly5|
bright as loves young star arent those beautiful words as loves young star itll
be a change the Lord knows to have an intelligent person to talk to about
yourself not always listening to him and Billy Prescotts ad and Keyess ad and
Tom the Devils ad Im sure hes very distinguished Id like to meet a man like that
God not those other ruck besides hes young those fine young men I could see down
in Margate strand bathingplace from the side of the rock standing up in the sun
naked like a god or something and then plunging into the sea with them why arent
all men like that thered be some consolation for a woman like that lovely little
statue he bought I could look at him all day long curly head and his shoulders
his finger up for you to listen theres real beauty and poetry for you I often
felt I wanted to kiss him all over also his lovely young cock there so simple I
wouldnt mind taking him in my mouth if nobody was looking so clean and white he
looks with his boyish face itll be grand if I can only get in with a handsome
young poet at my age Ill read and study all I can find so he wont think me
stupid
|5if
he thinks all women are the
same5| and I can
teach him the other part Ill make him feel all over him then hell write about me
lover and mistress publicly too with our photographs in the papers when he
becomes famous O but then what am I going to do about him
though|5?5|
|5No
no5|
thats no way for him has he no manners nor no refinement in his nature slapping
us behind like that on my bottom thats what you get for not keeping them in
their proper place of course hes right enough in his way to pass the time as a
joke O well I suppose its because they were so plump and tempting in my short
petticoat he couldnt resist they excite myself sometimes its well for men all
the amount of pleasure they get off a womans body were so round and white for
them always I wished I was one myself for a change just to try with that thing
they have swelling up on you so hard and at the same time so soft when you touch
it my uncle John has a thing long I heard those cornerboys saying passing the
corner of Marrowbone lane my aunt Mary has a thing hairy because it was dark and
they knew a girl was passing it didnt make me blush why should it either its
only nature and he puts his thing long into my aunt Marys hairy etcetera and
turns out to be you put the handle in a sweepingbrush men again all over they
can pick and choose what they please a married woman or a fast widow or a girl
for their different tastes like those houses round behind Irish street no but
were to be always chained up theyre not going to be chaining me up no fear once
I start I tell you for their stupid husbands jealousy why cant we all remain
friends over it instead of quarrelling her husband found it out well and if he
did can he undo it and then he going to the other mad extreme about the wife in
Fair Tyrants of course the man never even casts a 2nd
{u21, 866}
thought on the husband or wife either its the woman he wants and he gets her what else were we given
{u22, 727}
all those desires for Id like to know I cant help it if Im young still can
I its a wonder Im not an old shrivelled hag before my time living with him so
cold never embracing me except sometimes when hes asleep the wrong end of me not
knowing I suppose who he has any man thatd kiss a womans bottom Id throw my hat
at him after that unnatural where we havent an atom of any kind of expression in
us all of us the same two lumps of lard before ever Id do that to a man pfooh
the dirty brutes the mere thought is enough of course a woman wants to be
embraced 20 times a day almost to make her look young no matter by who so long
as to be in love or loved by somebody if the fellow you want isnt there
sometimes by God I was thinking would I go around by the quays there some dark
evening where nobodyd know me and pick up a sailor off the sea thatd be hot on
for it and not care a pin whose I was only do it off up in a gate somewhere or
one of those wildlooking gipsies in Rathfarnham had their camp pitched near the
Bloomfield laundry to try and steal our things if they could I only sent mine
there a few times for the name model laundry sending me back over and over some
old ones odd stockings that
|5blackguard
looking
blackguardlooking5|
fellow with the fine eyes peeling a switch attack me in the dark and ride me up
against the wall without a word what they do themselves the fine gentlemen in
their silk hats that K. C. lives up somewhere this way coming out of Hardwicke
lane the night he gave us the fish supper on account of winning over the boxing
match I knew him by his gaiters and the walk and when I turned round a minute
after there was a woman after coming out of it too some filthy prostitute then
he goes home to his wife after that only I suppose the half of those sailors are
rotten again with disease O move over your big carcass out of that for the love
of Mike so well he may sleep and Im to be slooching around down in the kitchen
to get his lordship his breakfast will I indeed Id just like to see myself at it
show them attention and they treat you like dirt I dont care what anybody says
itd be much better for the world to be governed by the women in it you wouldnt see women going and
{u22, 728}
killing one another and slaughtering when do you ever see women rolling
around drunk like they do or gambling every penny they have and losing it on
horses yes because a woman whatever she does she knows where to stop sure they
wouldnt be in the world at all only for us they dont know what it is to be a
woman and a mother how could they where would they all of them be if they hadnt
all a mother to look after them thats why I suppose hes running wild now out at
night away from his books and studies and not living at home on account of the
usual rowy house I suppose you see those that have a fine son like that theyre
not satisfied and I none was he not able to make one it wasnt my fault we came
together when I was watching the two dogs up in her behind in the middle of the
naked street that disheartened me altogether I suppose I oughtnt to have buried
him in that little woolly jacket I knitted crying as I was but give it to some
poor child but I knew well Id never have another O Im not going to think myself
into the glooms about that any more I wonder why he wouldnt stay the night I
felt all the time it was somebody strange he brought in instead of roving around
the city meeting God knows who nightwalkers and pickpockets his poor mother
wouldnt like that if she was alive ruining himself for life perhaps he could
easy have slept in there on the sofa I suppose he was as shy as a boy he being
so young hardly 20 of me in the next room hed have heard me on the chamber arrah
what harm Dedalus I wonder its like those names in Gibraltar Delapaz Delagracia
they had the devils queer names there father Vilaplana of Santa Maria that gave
me the rosary Rosales y O'Reilly in the Calle las Siete Revueltas and
Pisimbo and Mrs Opisso in Governor street O what a name Id go and drown myself
in the first river if I had a name like her O my and all the bits of streets
Paradise ramp and Bedlam ramp and Rodgers ramp and the devils gap steps well
small blame to me if I am a harumscarum I know I am a bit I declare to God I
dont feel a day older than then I wonder could I get my tongue round any of the
Spanish como esta usted muy bien gracias y usted see I havent forgotten it all I
thought I had only for the grammar a noun is the name of any person place
{u22, 729}
or thing pity I never tried to read that novel cantankerous Mrs Rubio lent
me by Valera with the questions in it all upside down the two ways I can tell
him the Spanish and he tell me the Italian then hell see Im not so ignorant what
a pity he didnt stay Im sure the poor fellow wanted a good sleep badly I could
have brought him in his breakfast in bed with a bit of toast so
|5long5|
as I didnt do it on the knife for bad luck or if the woman was going her rounds
with the watercress and ground ivy something nice and tasty I could do the
criada the room looks all right since I changed it the other way you see
something was telling me all the time Id have to introduce myself not knowing me
from Adam very funny wouldnt it Im his wife or pretend we were in Spain with him
half awake without a Gods notion where he is dos huevos estrellados senor Lord
the cracked things come into my head sometimes itd be great fun supposing he
stayed with us why not theres the room upstairs empty and Millys bed in the back
room Im sure Im not going to take in lodgers off the street for him if he takes
a gesabo of a house like this Id love to have a long talk with an intelligent
welleducated person Id have to get a nice pair of red slippers like those Turks
with the fez used to sell or yellow and a nice semitransparent morning gown that
I badly want Ill just give him one more chance Ill get up early in the morning
Im sick of Cohens old bed in any case then Ill throw him up his eggs and tea I
know what Ill do Ill go about rather gay not too much singing a bit now and then
mi fa pieta Masetto then Ill start dressing myself to go out presto non son
più forte Ill put on my best shift and drawers let him have a good eyeful
out of that to make his micky stand Ill let him know if thats what he wanted that his wife is fucked
{u22, 730}
and damn well fucked too not by him 4 or 5 times running theres the mark of
his spunk on the clean sheet I wouldnt bother to even iron it out that ought to
satisfy him if you dont believe me feel my belly Ive a mind to tell him every
scrap and make him do it out in front of me serve him right its all his own
fault if I am an adulteress as the thing in the gallery said O much about it if
thats all the harm ever we did in this vale of tears God knows its not much I
suppose thats what a woman is supposed to be there for or He wouldn't have
made us the way He did so attractive to men then if he wants to kiss my bottom
Ill stick it out in his face as large as life he can stick his tongue in my hole
as hes there then Ill tell him I want £1 or perhaps
{u21, 870}
30/- Ill tell him I want to buy underclothes then if he gives me that well
he wont be too bad Ill let him do it off on me behind provided he doesnt smear
all my good drawers O I suppose that cant be helped Ill do the indifferent one
or two questions Ill know by the answers when hes like that he cant keep a thing
back Ill tighten my bottom well and let out a few smutty words smellrump or lick
my shit or the first mad thing comes into my head then Ill suggest about yes O
wait now my turn is coming Ill be quite gay and friendly over it O but I was
forgetting this bloody pest of a thing pfooh you wouldnt know which to laugh or
cry were such a mixture of plum and apple no Ill have to wear the old things so
much the better itll be more pointed hell never know whether he did it or not
there thats good enough for you any old thing at all then Ill wipe him off me
just like a business his omission then Ill go out Ill have
|5him5|
eying up at the ceiling where is she gone now
|5make
him want me thats the only
way5| a quarter after
what an unearthly hour well soon have the nuns ringing the angelus theyve nobody
coming in to spoil their sleep except an odd priest or two or the alarmclock
next door at cockshout clattering the brains out of itself let me see if I can
doze off one two three four five what kind of flowers are those they invented
the wallpaper in Lombard street was much nicer Ill go to Lambes there beside
{u22, 731}
Findlaters and get them to send us some flowers to put about the place in
case he brings him home tomorrow today I mean no no Fridays an unlucky day first
I want to do the place up someway then we can have music and cigarettes those
fairy cakes in Liptons at 7½d a lb or the other ones with the cherries in
them and the pinky sugar 11d a couple of lbs of those a nice plant for the
middle of the table Id get that cheaper in wait wheres this I saw them not long
ago I love flowers Id love to have the whole place swimming in roses theres
nothing like nature the wild mountains then the sea and the waves rushing then
the beautiful country with the fields of oats and wheat and all kinds of things
and all the fine cattle going about that would do your heart good to see rivers
and lakes and flowers all sorts of shapes and smells and colours springing up
even out of the ditches primroses and violets nature it is as for them saying
theres no God I wouldnt give a snap of my two fingers for all their learning why
dont they go and create something I often asked him atheists or whatever they
call themselves go and wash the cobbles off themselves first then they go
howling for the priest and they dying and why why because theyre afraid ah yes I
know them well who was the first person in the universe before there was anybody
that made it all who ah that they dont know neither do I so there you are they
might as well try to stop the sun from rising the sun shines for you he said the
day we were lying among the rhododendrons on Howth head in the grey tweed suit
and his straw hat the day I got him to propose to me yes and it was leapyear
like now yes sixteen years ago my God after that long kiss I near lost my breath
yes he said I was a flower of the mountain yes so we are flowers all a womans
body yes that was one true thing he said in his life and the sun shines for you
today yes that was why I liked him because I saw he understood or felt what a
woman is and I knew I could always get round him and I gave him all the pleasure
I could leading him on till he asked me to say yes and I wouldnt answer first
only looked out over the sea and the sky I was thinking of so many things he
didnt know of Mulvey and Mr Stanhope and Hester and father and old captain
Groves
|5and
the sailors
playing all
birds fly and I say stoop on the pier and the
{u21, 872}
Spanish
{u22, 732}
girls laughing in their shawls and
the auctions in the
morning the
Greeks and the jews and those handsome
|aTurks
Moorsa| all in white like
kings5| and the
figtrees in the Alameda gardens and cactuses and Gibraltar as a girl where I was
a flower of the mountain when I put the red rose in my hair like the Andalusian
girls used shall I wear a white rose and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall
and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to
ask again and then he asked me would I to say yes my mountain flower and first I
put my arms around him and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all
perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and I said I will yes.
Trieste-Zurich-Paris,
1914-1921.