ULYSSES

Typescripts

Typescript, September 1921, draft level 4, 4'

MS Huntington HM 41122, Buffalo V.B.16.b Draft details

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Yes because he never did a thing like that before as ask to get his breakfast in bed with a couple of eggs since the City Arms hotel when he used to be pretending to be laid up with a sick voice doing his highness to make himself interesting for that old faggot Mrs Riordan that he thought he had a great leg of and she never left us a farthing all for masses for herself and her soul greatest miser ever was actually afraid to lay out fourpence for her methylated spirit telling me all her ailments |4she had too much old chat in her but about politics |aand earthquakesa| and the end of the world let us have a bit of fun first God help the world if all the women were like her but4| she was a welleducated woman |4certainly4| and her talk about Mr Riordan here and Mr Riordan there I suppose he was glad to get shut of her and her dog smelling my fur and always edging to get up under my petticoats |4especially then4| still I like that in him polite to old women like that |4and waiters4| if ever he got anything really serious the matter with him its much better for them to go into a hospital where everything is clean but I suppose Id have to dring it into him for a month yes because theyre so weak and puling when theyre sick |4if his nose bleeds youd think it was O tragic4| and that dyinglooking one when he sprained his foot at the choir party at lough Bray the day I wore that dress Miss Stack bringing him flowers the worst |4old ones4| she could find at the bottom of the basket though he looked more like a man with his beard a bit grown in the bed father was the same besides I hate bandaging and
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dosing when he cut his toe with the razor paring his corns afraid hed get blood poisoning yes he came somewhere Im sure by his appetite anyway love its not or hed be off his feed thinking of her so either it was one of those night women if it was down there he was really and the hotel story he made up a pack of lies to hide it planning it Hynes kept me who did I meet ah yes I met do you remember Menton and who else who let me see that big babbyface I saw him and he not long married flirting with a young girl at Pooles Myriorama and turned my back on him |4when he slinked out4| what harm but he had the impudence to make up to me one times well done to him mouth almighty and his boiled eyes of all the big stupoes I ever met and thats called a solicitor only for I hate having a long wrangle in bed or else if its not that its some little bitch or other he got in with somewhere or picked up on the sly if they only knew him as well as I do yes because the day before yesterday he was scribbling something a letter when I came into the front room to show him |4the Dignam's4| death in the paper as if something told me and he covered it up with the blottingpaper pretending to be thinking about business so very probably that was it to somebody who thinks she has a softy in him because all men get a bit like that at his age especially getting on to forty he is now so as to wheedle any money she can out of him no fool like an old fool and then the usual kissing my bottom was to hide it not that I care two straws now who he does it with or knew before that way though Id like to find out so long as I dont have the two of them under my nose all the time like that slut that Mary we had in Ontario terrace padding out her false bottom to excite him bad enough to get the smell of those painted women off him once or twice I had a suspicion by getting him to come near me without that one it was all his fault of course ruining servants then proposing that she could eat at our table on Christmas day O no thank you not in my house stealing my potatoes and the oysters 2/6 |4a dozen per doz4| going out to see her aunt if you please common robbery so it was but I was sure he had something on with that one it takes me to find out a thing like that he said you have no proof it was her proof O yes her aunt was very fond
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of oysters but I told her what I thought of her suggesting me to go out to be alone with her I wouldnt lower myself to spy on them the garters I found in her room the Friday she was out that was enough for me a little bit too much her face swelled |4up4| on her with temper when I gave her her weeks notice I saw to that better do without them altogether do out the rooms myself quicker only for the damn cooking and throwing out the dirt I gave it to him anyhow
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either she or me leaves the house I couldnt even touch him if I thought he was with a dirty liar and sloven like that one singing about the place in the W C too because she knew she was too well off yes because he couldnt possibly do without it that long so he must do it somewhere and the last time he came on my bottom when was it the night Boylan gave my hand a great squeeze going along by the Tolka I just pressed the back of his like that with my thumb to squeeze back singing the young May Moon shes beaming love because he has an idea about him and me hes not such a fool |4he said Im dining out and going to the Gaiety4| though Im not going to give him the satisfaction in any case God knows hes a change in a way not to be always and ever wearing the same old hat unless I paid some nicelooking boy to do it since I cant do it myself a young boy would like me Id confuse him a little |4and make him turn red4| looking at him doing that frigging drawing out the thing by the hour question and answer would you do this that and the other with the coalman yes with a bishop yes I would because I told him about some Dean or Bishop was sitting beside me in the jews Temples gardens |4when I was knitting that woollen thing4| a stranger to Dublin what place was it and so on about the monuments and he tired me out with statues encouraging him making him worse than he is who is in your mind now tell me who are you thinking of who is it tell me his name who tell me who the German emperor is it yes imagine Im him think of him can you feel him he ought to give it up now at this age of his life simply ruination for any woman and no satisfaction in it pretending to like it till he comes and then finish it off myself anyway and it makes your lips pale anyhow its done now once and for all with all the talk of the world about it people make its only the first time after that its just the ordinary do it and think no more about it why cant you kiss a man you sometimes love to wildly when you feel that way so nice all
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over you you cant help yourself I wish some man or other would take me sometime when hes there and kiss me in his arms |4theres nothing like a kiss long and hot down to your soul almost paralyses you4| then I hate that confession when I used to go to Father Corrigan he touched me father |4and what harm if he did4| where and I said on the canal bank like a fool but whereabouts on your person on the leg behind high up was it yes rather high up was it where you sit down yes O Lord couldnt he say bottom right out and have done with it |4what has that got to do with it4| he had a nice
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fat hand |4the palm moist always4| I wouldnt mind feeling it |4I wonder did he know me in the box of course hed never turn or let on4| besides theres no danger with a priest |4if youre married hes too careful about himself then give something to H H the pope for a penance4| I wonder was he satisfied with me one thing I didnt like his slapping me behind going away so familiarly in the hall though I laughed Im not a horse or an ass am I I suppose he was thinking of his father I wonder is he awake thinking of me or dreaming am I in it he smelt of some kind of drink not whisky or stout some liqueur Id like to sip those richlooking green and yellow expensive drinks those stagedoor johnnies drink with the opera hats he had all he could do to keep himself from falling asleep after the last time after we took the |4claret and4| potted meat |4and claret it had a fine salty taste4| yes because I felt lovely and tired myself and fell asleep as sound as a top the moment I popped into bed till that thunder woke me up God be merciful to us I thought the heavens were coming down about us when I blessed myself and said a Hail Mary like those awful thunderbolts in Gibraltar as if the world was coming to an end and they say then theres no God |4what could you do if it |ablank was running and rushing abouta| nothing only make an act of contrition the candle I lit that evening in |aWilliam Whitefriarsa| street chapel for the month of May see it brought its luck though hed scoff if he heard because he never goes to church
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mass or meeting he says your soul you have no soul |ainsidea| only grey matter because he doesnt know what it is to have one
4| yes when I lit the lamp because he must have come 3 or 4 times with that tremendous big |4red4| brute of a thing he has I thought the vein or whatever |4the dickens4| they call it was going to burst |4though his nose is not soo so big4| after I took off all my things |4with the blinds down4| after my hours dressing and perfuming and combing it like iron or some kind of a thick crowbar standing all the time he must have eaten oysters I think a few dozen no I never in all my life felt anyone had one the size of that to make you feel full up whats the idea making us like that with a big hole in the middle of us or like a stallion driving it up into you because thats all they want out of you with that determined vicious look in his |4eyes eyeº I had to halfshut my eyes4| still he hasnt such a tremenduous amount of spunk in him when I made him pull out and do it on
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me considering how big it is so much the better in case any of it wasnt washed out properly the last time I let him finish it in me nice invention they made for women for him to get all the pleasure but if someone gave them a touch of it themselves theyd know what I went through with |4Rudy Milly4| nobody would believe and Mina Purefoys husband give us a swing out of your whiskers filling her up with a child or twins once a year as regular as the clock supposed to be healthy supposing I risked having another not off him though still if he was married Im sure hed have a fine strong child but I dont know Poldy has more spunk in him I suppose it was meeting Josie Powell and the funeral and thinking about me and Boylan set him off well he can think what he likes now if thatll do him any good I know they were spooning a bit when I came on the scene he was dancing and sitting out with her the night of Georgina Simpsons housewarming and then he wanted to ram it down my neck on account of not liking to see her a wallflower that was why we had the standup row over politics he began it not me when he said about Our Lord being a carpenter and the first socialist still he knows a lot of mixedup things especially about the body and the inside I often wanted to study up that myself what we have inside us in that family physician |4I could always hear his voice talking when the room was crowded and watch him4| after that I pretended I had a coolness on with her over him
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because he used to be a bit |4on the4| jealous |4side4| whenever he asked who are you going to and I said over to Floey and he made me the present of |4lord4| Byrons poems and the three pairs of gloves so that finished that I could quite easily get him to make it up any time I know how Id even supposing he got in with her again and was going out to see her somewhere Id know if he refused to eat the onions I know several ways touch him with my veil and gloves on going out one kiss then would send them all spinning however alright well see then let him go to her she of course would only be too delighted to pretend shes mad in love with him that I wouldnt so much |4mind4| but he might imagine he was and make a declaration to her like he did to me though I had the devils own job to get it out of him
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though I liked him for that it showed he could hold in and wasnt to be got for the asking she used to be always embracing me Josie whenever he was there meaning him of course glauming me over and when I said I washed up and down as far as possible asking me did you wash possible the women are always egging on to that when hes there they know by his eye the kind he is what spoils him I dont wonder in the least because he was very handsome at that time trying to look like |~4Lord lordº~|4| Byron I said I liked |4though he was too beautiful for a man4| and he was a little before we got engaged afterwards though she didnt like it so much the day I was in fits of laughing I couldnt stop about all my hairpins falling out one after another youre always in great humour she said yes because it grigged |4her4| because she knew what it meant but that wasnt my fault |4she didnt darken the door much after we were married4| I wonder what shes |4got4| like now
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after living with that dotty husband of hers she had her face beginning to look drawn |4and run down4| the last time I saw her she must have been just after a row with him because I saw on the moment she was edging to draw down a conversation about husbands |4and talk about him to run him down4| what was it she told me O yes that sometimes he used to go to bed with his muddy boots |4on4| when the maggot takes him just imagine having to get into bed with a thing like that that might murder you any moment what a man well its not the one way everyone goes |4mad4| Poldy anyhow whatever he does always wipes his feet on the mat when he comes in wet or shine and he always takes off his hat when he comes up in the street like then and now hes going about in his slippers to look for £10000 for a postcard |4U p u pº4| up O Sweetheart May wouldnt a thing like that simply bore you stiff to extinction actually too stupid even to take his boots off now what could you make of a man like that Id rather die 20 times over than marry another of |4them their sex4| of course hed never find another woman like me to put up with him the way I do yes and he knows that too at the bottom of his heart take that Mrs Maybrick that poisoned her husband for what I wonder in love with some other man yes it was found out on her wasnt she the villain to go and do a thing like that |4of course some men can be dreadfully aggravating drive you mad and always the worst
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word in the world
what do they ask us to marry them for if were so bad as all that comes to |ayes because they cant get on without usa| white Arsenic she put in his tea I wonder why they call it that if I asked him hed say its from the Greek leave us as wise as before she must have been madly in love with the other fellow to run the chance of being hanged O she didnt care if that was her nature what could she do besides theyre not brutes enough to go and hang a woman surely
4|.

They're all so different Boylan talking about the shape of my foot he noticed at once even before he was introduced when I was in the D B C with Poldy laughing and trying to listen I was |4wiggling waggling4| my foot I saw him looking with his two old maids of sisters when I stood up and asked the girl where it was what do I care with it dropping out of me and that black closed breeches he made me buy takes you half an hour to let them down |4wetting |aalla| myself4| always with some brandnew fad |4every other week4| such a long one I did I forgot my suede gloves on the seat behind that I never got after some robber of a woman and he wanted me to put it in the Irish Times lost in the ladies lavatory D B C Dame street
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finder return to Mrs Marion Bloom now how did that excite him because I was crossing them when we were in the other room first he meant the shoes that are too tight to walk in my hand is nice like that I dont like my foot so much still I made |4Poldy him4| spend once with my foot the night after Goodwins botchup of a concert so cold and windy it was well we had that rum in the house to mull and the fire wasnt black out when he asked to take off my stockings lying on the hearthrug in Lombard street west but of course hes not natural that I what did he say I could give nine points in ten to Kattie Lanner and beat her what does that mean I asked him I forget what he said because the stop press edition just passed and the man with the curly hair in the |4Maypole Lucan4| dairy thats so polite I think I saw his face before somewhere I noticed him when I was tasting the butter so I took my time Bartell dArcy too that he used to make fun of when he |4kissed commenced kissing4| me on the choir stairs after I sang Gounod's |4Ave Maria Ave Maria4| he was pretty hot for all his tinny voice too my low notes he said if you can believe him then he said wasnt it terrible to do that there in a place like that I dont see anything so terrible about it Ill tell him about that some day
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not now and surprise him |4he thinks nothing can happen without him knowing4| he was much worse himself begging me to give him a tiny bit cut off my drawers that was the evening coming along Kenilworth square he kissed me in the eye of my glove and I had to take it off asking me questions is it permitted to inquire the shape of my bedroom so I let him keep it as if I forgot it to think of me when I saw him slip it into his pocket of course hes mad on the subject of drawers thats plain to be seen |4always skeezing at those brazenfaced things on the bicycles with their skirts blowing up to their navels even when Milly and I were out with him at the open air fete that one in the cream muslin standing right against the
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sun so he could see every atom she had on
4| when he saw me from behind following in the rain I saw him before he saw me however standing at the corner of the Harolds cross road with a new raincoat on him |4with the muffler in the Zingari colours to show off his complexion4| and the brown hat looking slyboots as usual what was he doing there where hed no business they can go and get |4anything whatever4| they like |4from anything at all with a skirt on it4| and were not to ask any questions but they want to know where were you where are you going I could feel him coming |4along skulking4| after me his eyes on my neck pestered me to say yes till I took off my glove slowly watching him he said my openwork sleeves were too cold for the rain anything for an excuse to put his hand |4near anear4| me drawers drawers all the time |4till I promised to give him the pair off my doll to carry about in his waistcoat pocket O Maria Santissima4| he did look a big fool dreeping in the rain splendid set of teeth he had made me hungry to look at them and |4wanted beseeched4| me to lift the orange petticoat I had on with the sunray pleats that there was nobody he said hed kneel down in the wet if I didnt so persevering you never know what freak theyd take alone with you theyre so savage for it if anyone was passing so I touched his trousers outside the way I used to Gardner to keep him from doing worse where it was too public he was shaking like a jelly all over |4they want to do everything too quick take all the pleasure out of it4| then he wrote me that letter with all those words in it how could he have the face to any woman after his company manners making it so awkward after when we met asking me have I offended you with my eyelids down |4of course he saw I
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wasnt he had a few brains not like that other fool Henny Doyle he was always breaking or tearing something in the charades I hate an unlucky man
4| and if I knew what it meant of course I had to say no for form sake and wasnt it natural so it is of course it used to be written up with a picture of a womans on that wall in Gibraltar |4with that word I couldnt find anywhere4| then writing every morning a letter sometimes twice a day I liked the way he made love then he knew the way to take a woman then I wrote the night he kissed my heart at Dolphins barn |4I couldnt describe it simply4| it makes you feel like nothing on earth but he never knew how to embrace well like Gardner I hope hell come on Monday as he said at the same time four I hate people who come at all hours answer the door you think its the vegetables then its somebody and you all undressed or the door of the filthy sloppy kitchen blows open the day old |4frostyface4| Goodwin called about the concert in Lombard street |4and I just after dinner all flushed and tossed with boiling old stew4| dont look at me professor I had to say Im a fright |4yes but he was a real old gent in his way it was impossible to be more respectful4| nobody to say youre out you have to peep out through the blind I was just beginning to yawn with nerves when I knew his tattarrattat at the door he must have been a bit late because it was ¼ after three when I saw the two Dedalus girls coming from school when I threw the penny to that lame sailor |4for England home and beauty4| and I hadnt even put on my clean shift or powdered myself or a thing then this day week were to go to Belfast just as well |4Poldy he4| has to go to Ennis his fathers anniversary the 27th it wouldnt be pleasant if he did suppose our rooms at the hotel were beside each other and any fooling went on |4in the new bed4| I couldnt tell him to stop and not bother me with him in the next room or perhaps some protestant clergyman with a cough knocking on the wall then |v4hed never he wouldntºv4| believe the next day we didnt do something its all very well a husband but you cant fool a lover after me telling him we never did anything no its better hes going where he is besides something always happens with him the time going to the |4Cork Mallow4| Concert at Maryborough ordering boiling soup for the two of us then the bell rang out he walks down the platform with the soup splashing |4on4| about taking spoonfuls of it and the waiter after him making a holy show of us screeching and confusion for the engine to start but he wouldnt pay till he finished it the two gentlemen in the carriage said he was
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quite right so he was too hes so pigheaded sometimes when he gets a thing into his head a good job he was able to open the carriage door with his knife or theyd have taken us on to Cork I suppose that was done out of revenge on him |4O4| I love jaunting in a train or a car |4with lovely soft cushions4| I wonder will he take a 1st class for me he might want to do it
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in the train by tipping the guard well O I suppose there'll be the usual idiots of men gaping at us with their eyes as stupid as ever they can be one or two tunnels perhaps then you have to look out of the window all the nicer then coming back suppose I never came back what would they say eloped with him that gets you on on the stage the last concert I sang at where its over a year ago when was it |4S. St4| Teresas hall Clarendon St |4slips little chits4| of missies they have now singing Kathleen Kearney and her like on account of father being in the army and my singing the absentminded beggar |4and wearing a brooch for lordº Roberts4| and Poldy not Irish enough was it him managed it this time I wouldnt put it past him |4like he got me on to sing in the Stabat Materº by going around saying he was putting lead Kindly Light to music till the jesuits found out he was a freemason thumping the piano thou Thou me on copied from some old opera yes and4| he was going about with some of them Sinner Fein |4lately4| or whatever they call themselves talking his usual trash and nonsense he says that little man he showed me without the neck is very intelligent the coming man Griffiths is he well he doesnt look it |4thats4| all I can say still it must have been him he knew there was a boycott I hate the mention of their politics after the war that Pretoria and Ladysmith and Bloemfontein where Gardner Lieut Stanley G 8th Bn Somerset Lt Infantry killed |4he was a lovely fellow in khaki Im sure he was brave too he said I was lovely the evening we kissed goodbye at the canal lock my Irish beauty he was pale with excitement about going away or wed be seen from the road he couldnt stand properly and I so hot as I never felt4| they could have made their peace in the beginning or old oom Paul and the rest of the old Krugers go and fight it out between them instead of dragging on for years killing any |4finelooking4| men there were I love to see a regiment pass in review |4the first time I saw the Spanish cavalry at La Roque it was lovely after looking across the bay from Algeciras all the lights of the rock like fireflies4| or those sham battles on the 15 acres the Black Watch with their kilts in time or the Dublins his father made his money over selling the horses for the cavalry well he could buy me a
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nice present up in Belfast after what I gave him theyve
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lovely linen up there or one of those nice kimono things I must buy a mothball like I had before to keep in the drawer with them it would be exciting going round with him shopping buying those things in a new city better leave this ring behind want to keep turning and turning to get it over the knuckle there or they might bell it round the town in their papers or tell the police on me but theyd think were married O let them all go and smother themselves for all I care he has plenty of money and hes not a marrying man so someone better get it out of him if I could find out whether he likes me I looked a bit washy of course when I looked close in the handglass powdering a mirror never gives you the expression besides scrooching down on me like that all the time with his big hipbones hes heavy too |4with his hairy chest4| for this heat |4always having to lie down for them4| better for him put it into me from behind the way Mrs |4Galbraith |aCitron Mastianskya|4| told me her husband made her like the dogs do it and stick out her tongue as far as ever she could and he so quiet and mild |4with his tingating cither4| you never can be up to men the way it takes them lovely stuff in that blue suit he had on and stylish tie and |4silk socks socks with the skyblue silk things on them4| hes certainly well off but he was like a |4perfect4| devil for a few minutes after he came back with the stop press tearing up the ticket and swearing blazes because he lost 20 quid he said he lost over that outsider that won and half he put on for me on account of Lenehans tip |4that sponger4| he was making free with me after the Glencree dinner coming back that long joult over the featherbed mountain |4I first noticed him at dessert when I was cracking the nuts with my teeth4| I wished I could have picked |4every morsel of4| that chicken out of my fingers it was so tasty and browned and as tender as anything those forks and fishslicers were hallmarked silver too I wish I had some I could easily have slipped a couple into my muff |4when I was playing with them4| always hanging out of them for money in a restaurant we have to be thankful for our |4mangy4| cup of tea as a great compliment to be noticed the way the world is divided in any case if its going to go on I want at least two other good chemises and but I dont know what kind of drawers he likes none at all I think didnt he say |v4thenv4| |4halfº the girls in Gibraltar never wore them either naked as God made them4| the
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second pair of silkette stockings is laddered after one days wear I could have brought them back to Sparrows this morning and made them change them only not to run the risk of
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walking into him and ruining the whole thing and one of those kidfitting corsets Id want advertised cheap in the Gentlewoman with elastic gores on the hips he saved the one I have but thats no good what did they say they give a delightful figure line 11/6 obviating that unsightly broad appearance across the lower back to reduce flesh my belly is a bit too big Ill have to knock off the stout at dinner |4the last they sent from ORourkesº was as flat as a pancake he makes his money easy Larry they call him the old mangy parcel he sent at Xmas a cottage cake and a bottle of claret that he couldnt get anyone to drink God spare his spit for fear hed die of the drouth4| or I must do a few breathing exercises I wonder is that antifat any good might overdo it thin ones are not so much the fashion now garters that much I have the violet pair I wore today thats all he bought me out of the cheque he got on the first O no there was the face lotion I finished the last of yesterday that made my skin like new I told him get that made up in the same place and dont forget it God only knows whether he did Ill know by the bottle anyway if not I suppose Ill only have to wash in my piss |4like beeftea or chickensoup4| with some of that opoponax and violet I thought it was beginning to look coarse or old a bit the skin underneath is much finer where it peeled off there on my finger after the burn its a pity it isnt all like that and the four paltry handkerchiefs about 6/- in all sure you cant get on in this world without style |4all going in food and rent when I get it Ill lash it around if I buy a pair of old brogues itself do you like those |anewa| shoes yes how much were they4| Ive no clothes at all |4cutting up an old hat and patching up the other4| the men wont look at you and women try to walk on you for the four years more I have of life up to 35 no Im what am I Ill be thirtythree in September O well look at that Mrs Galbraith shes much older than me I saw her when I was out last week her beautys on the wane she was a lovely woman magnificent head of hair on her down to her waist like Kitty OShea in Grantham street 1st thing I did every morning
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to look across see her combing it as if she loved it and was full of it pity I only got to know her the day before we left and that Mrs Langtry the Jersey Lily the prince of Wales was in love with I suppose hes like the first man going the roads only for the name of a king theyre all made the one way a beauty up to what was she fortyfive there was some funny story about the jealous old husband what was it at all and an oyster knife he went no he made her wear a kind of a tin thing round her and the prince of Wales yes
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he had the oyster knife cant be true a thing like that like some of those books he brings me the works of Master |4Francis Francoisº4| somebody supposed to be a priest about a child born out of her ear because her bumgut fell out a nice word for |4a any4| priest to write with that old blackguards face on him anyone can see its not true and that Ruby and Fair Tyrants he brought me that twice I remember when I came to page 50 the part about where she hangs him up out of a hook with a cord flagellate sure theres nothing for a woman in that all invention like the infant Jesus in the crib at Inchicore in the blessed virgins arms sure no woman could have a child that big taken out of her because how could she go to the chamber when she wanted to and she a rich lady he ought to chuck that Freeman with the paltry few shillings he knocks out of it and go into an office or something where hed get regular money of course he prefers plottering about the house so you cant stir with him any side |4whats your programme today4| or pretending to be mooching about for advertisements when he could have been in Mr Cuffes still only for what he did then sending me to try and patch it up I could have got him promoted there to be the manager he gave me a great eye once or twice first he was as stiff as the mischief really and truly Mrs Bloom only I felt rotten simply with the old rubbishy dress that I lost the lead out of the tails with no cut in it but theyre coming into fashion again I bought it simply to please him |4I knew it was no good by the finish4| pity I changed my mind of going to Todd and
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Burns as I said and not Lees it was just like the shop itself rummage sale a lot of trash nothing kills me altogether only he thinks he knows a great lot about a womans dress and cooking mathering everything he can scour off the shelves into it if I went by his advices every blessed hat I put on does that suit me yes take that thats alright the one like a weddingcake standing up |4miles4| off my head he said suited me or the dishcover one coming down on my |4back backside4| on pins and needles about the shopgirl in that place in Grafton street I had the misfortune to bring him into and she as insolent as |4ever she4| could be with her smirk saying Im afraid were giving you too much trouble what shes there for but I stared it out of her yes he was awfully stiff and no wonder but he changed the second time he looked Poldy pigheaded as usual like the soup but I could
{u17, 687}
see him looking very hard at my chest Im extremely sorry Mrs Bloom believe me without making it too marked the first time after him being insulted and me being supposed to be his wife I just half smiled I know my chest was out that way at the door when he said Im extremely sorry and Im sure you were.

I think he made them a bit firmer sucking them like that so long he made me thirsty titties he calls them I had to laugh yes this one anyhow Ill get him to keep that up and Ill take those eggs beaten up with marsala fatten them out for him what are all those veins and things curious the way its made two the same in case of twins theyre supposed to represent beauty placed up there |4like those statues in the museum one of them pretending to hide it with her hand are they so beautiful of course compared with the what a man looks like with his two bags full and his other thing hanging down out of her or sticking up at you like a hatrack no wonder they hide it with a cabbageleafº |athat disgusting Cameron highlander behind the meat market or that other wretch with the red head behind the tree when I was passing pretending he was pissing standing out for me to see it with his babyclothes up to one side the queens own
{u22, 705}
they were a nice lot its well the Surreys relieved them I tried to draw a picture of it before I tore it up like a sausage or something I wonder theyre not afraid going about of getting a kick or a bang of something therea| the woman is beauty of course thats admitted
4| when he said I could pose for a picture naked to some rich fellow in Holles street when he lost the job in Helys and I was selling the clothes and strumming in the coffee palace would I be like that bath of the nymph with my hair down yes only shes younger |4or Im a little like that dirty bitch in that Spanish photo he has nymphs4| used they go about like that I asked him and that word met something with hoses in it and he came out with some jawbreakers about the incarnation he never can explain a thing simply the way a body can understand then he goes and burns the bottom out of the pan all for his kidney this one not so much theres the mark of his teeth still where he tried to bite the nipple I had to scream out arent they fearful trying to hurt you
{u17, 688}
I had a great breast of milk with Milly enough for two he said I could have got a pound a week as a wet nurse all swelled out the morning that delicate looking student that stopped in no 28 with the Citrons Penrose nearly caught me washing through the window only for I snapped up the towel to my face |4that was his studenting4| hurt me they used to weaning her till he got doctor Brady to give me the Belladonna prescription I had to get him to suck them they were so hard he said it was sweeter and thicker than cows then he wanted to milk me into the tea |4well hes beyond everything4| I declare somebody ought to put him in the budget if I only could remember the |41 one4| half of the things and write a book out of it the works of Master Poldy yes and its so much smoother the skin much an hour he was at them Im sure by the clock I can feel his mouth O Lord I must stretch myself I wished he was here or somebody to let myself go with or if I could dream it when he made me spend the 2nd time tickling me behind with his finger I was coming for about five minutes I had to hug him after O Lord I wanted to shout out all sorts of things fuck or shit or anything at all |4only not to look ugly or those lines fromº the strain4| who knows the way hed take it you want to feel your way with a man theyre not all like him thank God |4some of
{u22, 706}
them want you to be so nice about it
4| I noticed the contrast he does it and doesnt talk I gave my eyes that look with my hair a bit loose from the tumbling and my tongue between my lips up to him Thursday Friday one Saturday two Sunday |4three4| O Lord I cant wait till Monday.

Frseeeeeeeefronnnng train somewhere whistling the strength those engines have in them like big giants |4and the water rolling all over and out of them all sides4| like the end of loves old sweeeetsonnnng the poor men that have to be out all the night from their wives and families in those roasting engines stifling it was today Im glad I burned the half of those old Freemans and Photo bits leaving things like that lying about hes getting very careless and threw the rest of them up in the W C instead of having them there for the next year to get a few pence for them have him asking wheres last Januarys paper and all those old overcoats I bundled out of the hall making the place hotter than it is that rain was lovely |v4and refreshingv4| just after my beauty sleep I thought it was going to get like Gibraltar my goodness the heat there and the glare of the rock standing up in it like a big giant with the poplars and they all whitehot and the smell of the rainwater in those tanks watching the sun all
{u17, 689}
the time weltering down on you faded all that lovely frock fathers friend Mrs Stanhope sent me from the B Marche paris what a shame my |4dear dearest4| Doggerina she wrote on it she was very nice whats this her other name was just a P C to tell you I sent the little present have just had a jolly warm bath and feel a very clean dog now enjoyed it wogger she called him wogger wd give anything to be back in G and hear you sing |4Waiting and in old Madrid in old Madrid or Waitingº4| Concones is the name of those exercises he bought me one of those new some word I couldnt make out shawls amusing things but tear for the least thing will always think of the lovely teas we had together scrumptious currant scones and raspberry wafers I adore well now dearest Doggerina be sure and write soon kind she left out regards to your father also Captain Grove with love yrs affly Hester x x x x x she didnt look a bit married just like a girl he was years older than her wogger he was awfully fond of me when he held down the wire with his foot for me to step over at the bullfight at La Linea |4when that matador Gomez was given the bulls ear4| these clothes we have to wear |4whoever invented them expecting you to walk up a Killiney hill then for example at that picnic all staysed up4| you cant do a blessed thing in them |4in a crowd4| run or jump out of the way
{u22, 707}
thats why I was afraid when that |4other4| old bull began to charge he used to break his heart at me taking off the dog barking what became of them ever I suppose theyre dead long ago the two of them its like all through a mist makes you feel so old I made the scones of course I had everything all to myself then a girl Hester we used to compare our hair she showed me how to settle it at the back when I put it up and whats this else how to make a knot on a thread with the one hand what age was I then he was watching me whenever he got an opportunity at the band on the Alameda esplanade when I was with father and Captain Grove I looked up at the church first and then at the windows then down and our eyes met I felt something go through me like all needles my eyes were dancing I remember after when I looked at myself in the glass hardly recognised myself the change |4I didnt get a wink of sleep4| it wouldnt have been nice on account of her but I could have stopped it in time she gave me the Moonstone to read that was the first I read of Wilkie Collins East Lynne I read and the shadow of Ashlydyat Mrs Henry Wood Henry Dunbar by that other woman and Lord Lytton Eugene Aram Molly Bawn she gave me by Mrs Hungerford on account of the name I dont like books with a Molly in them like that one he brought me about the one from Flanders a whore always shoplifting anything she could cloth and stuff and yards of it O this blanket is too heavy on me thats better I havent even a decent nightdress this thing gets all rolled under me besides him and his fooling thats better I used to be weltering then in the heat my shift drenched with the sweat stuck in the cheeks of my bottom on the chair when I got up they were so fattish and firm when I stood on the table to see with my clothes up and the bugs at night and the mosquito nets I couldnt read |4Lord how long ago it seems centuries4| of course they never came back and she didnt put her address |4right4| on it either she may have noticed her wogger people were always going away and we never I remember that day with the waves and the boats
{u22, 708}
rocking and the smell of ship those officers uniforms on shore leave made me seasick he didnt say anything he was very serious I had the high buttoned boots on and my skirt was blowing she kissed me six or seven times didnt I cry I believe I did or near it |4my lips were taittering when I said goodbye4| she had a gorgeous wrap on her for the voyage |4made very peculiarly to one side like and it was extremely pretty4| it got as dull as the devil after they went |4I was almost planning to run away mad out of it somewhere4| waiting always waiting to gui-ide him to-oo me waiting nor spee-eed his flying feet |4their damn guns bursting and booming all over the shop and throwing everything down in all directions ifº you didnt open the windows then the4| same old |4bugles forº4| reveille in the morning and the unfortunate poor devils of soldiers walking about with messtins smelling the place more than the old jews |4in their jellibees4| assembly and sound clear and gunfire for the men to cross the lines and only Captain Groves and father |4talking about Rorkes drift and Plevna and Gordon at Khartoum4| lighting their pipes for them everytime they went out drunken old devil |4with his grog on the windowsill catch him leaving any of it4| picking his nose trying to think of some other dirty story to tell up in a corner but he never forgot himself when I was there paying his compliments the |4drink Bushmills whisky4| talking of course but hed do the same to the next woman that came along |4I supposeº he died from
{u17, 691}
galloping drink ages ago
4| the days like years not a letter from a living soul except the odd few I posted to myself with bits of paper in them so bored sometimes I could fight with my nails as bad as now with the hands hanging off me the meat and the coalmans bell and no visitors or post ever except his cheques or some advertisement like that wonderworker they sent him |4addressed dear Madam4| only his letter and the card from Milly this morning see she wrote a letter to him who did I get the last letter from O Mrs |4Thornton Dwenn4| now what possessed her to write |v4from Canadav4| after so many years Floey Dillon since she wrote to say she was married to a very rich architect if Im to believe it with a villa and eight rooms her father was an awfully nice man he was near seventy always |4'good humour goodhumouredº4'| well now Miss Tweedy or Miss Gillespie theres the piannyer then dying so far away I hate people that have always their poor story to tell everybody has their own troubles that poor Nancy Blake died a month ago of acute neumonia well I didnt know her so well as all that she was Floeys friend more than mine |v4poor Nancyv4| its a bother having to answer he always tells me the wrong things and no stops to say like making a speech your sad bereavement symphathy I always make that mistake and newphew with you in I hope hell write me a longer letter the next time if its a thing he really likes me O thanks be to the great God I got somebody to give me what I badly wanted youve no chances at all in this place like you used long ago I wish somebody would write me a loveletter in Old Madrid |v4stuffv4| silly women believe love is sighing I am dying still if he wrote it I suppose thered be some truth in it true or no it fills up your whole day and life always something to think about every moment
{u17, 692}
and see it all round you like a new world I could write the answer in bed to let him imagine me short just a few words not those long crossed letters |4Floey Atty4| Dillon used to write to the fellow that jilted her out of the ladies letterwriter acting with precipit precipitancy with equal candour the greatest earthly happiness answer to a gentlemans proposal affirmatively my goodness theres nothing else its all very fine for them
{u22, 710}
but as for being a woman as soon as youre old they might as well throw you out into the ashpit.

Mulveys was the first when I was in bed that morning and Mrs Rubio brought it in with the coffee she stood there standing when I asked her to hand me and I pointing at them I couldnt think of the word a hairpin to open it with ah horquilla disobliging old thing |4with her switch of false hair on her4| and vain about her appearance ugly as she was |4near eighty4| with all her religion |4domineering because she never could get over the Union Jack flying and4| because I didn't run into mass often enough |4in Santa Maria4| to please her |4with all her miracles of the saints and the sun dancing 3 times on easter Sunday morning4| an admirer he signed it I near jumped out of my skin I wanted to pick him up when I saw him following me along the Calle Real in the shop window then he tipped me just in passing but I never thought hed write making an appointment I had it inside my petticoat bodice all day reading it up in every hole and corner |4to find out by the handwriting or the language of stamps4| singing I remember shall I wear a white rose he was the first man kissed me under the Moorish wall it never entered my head what kissing meant till he put his tongue in my mouth |4his mouth was |asweet like sweetlikea| young4| I put my knee up to him a few times |4to learn the way4| what did I tell him I was engaged for for fun to the son of a Spanish nobleman |4named Don Miguel de la Flora4| and he believed me that I was to be married to him in three years time theres many a true word spoken in jest |4the flowers that bloom in the spring trala4| a few things I told him true about myself just for him to be imagining the Spanish girls he didnt like I suppose one of them wouldnt have him I got him excited he crushed all the flowers on my bosom he brought me he couldnt count the pesetas till I taught him Waterford he came from he said
{u17, 693}
on the black water but it was too short then the day before he left up on the tiptop |4of the rock under the rockgun4| near OHaras tower I told him all about the old
{u22, 711}
Barbary |4ape apes4| they sent to Clapham |4without a tail careering all over the show on each others back Mrs Rubio said she was a regular old rock scorpion robbing the chickens out of Inces farm and throw stones at you if you went anear4| he was looking at me I had that white blouse on open in the front to encourage him as much as I could without too openly they were just beginning to be plump I said I was tired we lay over the firtree cove a wild place |4I suppose it must be the highest rock in existence4| the galleries and casemates and |4those frightful rocks and Saint Michaels cave with the icicles or whatever they call them hanging down and ladders all the mud plotching my boots Im sure thats the way down the monkeys go under the sea to Africa when they die4| the ships out far like chips and the sky you could do what you liked he caressed them outside they love doing that its the roundness there I was leaning over him with my white ricestraw hat to take the newness out of it the left side of my face the best my blouse open for his last day he wanted to touch mine with his for a moment but I wouldnt let him for fear you never know consumption or leave me with a child that old servant Ines told me that one drop even if it got into you at all after I tried with the banana but I was afraid it might break and get lost up in me somewhere because they once took something down out of a woman that was up there for years covered with limesalts theyre all mad to get in there where they come out of youd think they could never go far enough up and then theyre done with you in a way till the next time yes because theres a wonderful feeling there so tender all the time how did we finish it off yes O yes I pulled him off into my handkerchief pretending not to be excited but I opened my legs I wouldnt let him touch me inside |4my petticoat becauseº I had a skirt opening up the side4| I tormented the life out of him first I loved rousing that dog in the hotel rrrsssstt awokwokawok his eyes shut and a bird flying below us he was shy all the same I liked him like that moaning I made him blush a little when I got over him that way when I unbuttoned him and took his out |4and drew back the skin it had a kind of eye in it4| theyre all buttons men down the middle |4on the wrong side of them4| Molly darling he called me what was his name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it yes I think a lieutenant he was rather fair he had a laughing kind of a voice so I went round to the whatyoucallit everything was whatyoucallit moustache had he he said hed come back |4Lord its just like yesterday to me4| and if I was married
{u17, 694}
hed do it to me and I promised him yes faithfully Id let him block
{u22, 712}
me now flying perhaps hes dead or killed or a Captain or admiral its nearly 20 years if I said firtree cove he would if he came up behind me and put his hands over my eyes to guess who I might recognise him hes young still about forty perhaps hes married some girl on the black water I was a bit wild after |4coming back the same way |athata| we went round by the old jews burialplace pretending to read out the Hebrew on them4| I wanted to fire his pistol he said he hadnt one |4he didnt know what to make of me4| with his peak cap on |4that he always wore crooked H M S Bellisle4| swinging my hat that old bishop that spoke off the altar his long preach about womans higher functions about girls now riding the bicycle and wearing peak caps and the new woman bloomers God send him sense and me more money I suppose theyre called after him I never thought that would be my name Bloom when I used to write it in print to see how it looked |4on a visiting card4| or practising for the butcher and oblige M Bloom youre looking blooming Josie used to say after I married him well its better than Breen or those awful names with bottom in them Mrs Ramsbottom or some other kind of a bottom Mulvey I wouldnt go mad about either the fun we had running along Williss road to Europa point twisting in and out |4all round the other side of Jersey4| they were shaking and dancing about in my blouse like Millys little ones now when she runs up the stairs I was jumping up at the pepper trees pulling the leaves off and throwing them at him he went to India he was to write the voyages those men have to make to the ends of the world and back |4its the least they might get a squeeze or two at a woman while they can going out to be drowned or blown up somewhere4| I went up windmill hill to the flats that |4Sunday4| morning with Captain Rubios that was dead spyglass he said hed have one or two from on board I wore that frock from the B Marche Paris and the coral necklace I could see over to Morocco almost |4the bay of Tangier
{u22, 713}
|awhitea|
and the Atlas mountain with snow on it
4| and the straits like a river so clear Harry Molly Darling |4I was thinking of him on the sea all the time after at mass when my petticoat began to slip down at the elevation4| weeks and
{u17, 695}
weeks I kept the handkerchief under my pillow for the smell of him there was no decent perfume to be got in that Gibraltar only that cheap peau dEspagne that faded and left a stink on you more than anything else I wanted to give him a memento he gave me that clumsy Claddagh ring for luck that I gave Gardner going to south Africa where those Boers killed him but they were well beaten all the same as if it brought its bad luck with it still it must have been pure 18 carrot gold because it was very heavy |v4but what could you get in a place like that the sandfrog shower from Africa and that derelict ship that came up to the harbour Marie the Marie whatyoucallit no he hadn't a moustache that was Gardner yesv4| I can see his face cleanshaven Frseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrong that train again weeping tone once in the dear de-ead days beyondre call close my eyes breath my lips forward kiss sad look eyes open piano ere oer the world the mists began I hate that istsbeg comes loves sweet sooooooooooong Ill let that out full Kathleen Kearney and her lot of squealers |4theyd die down dead if they ever got a chance of walking down the Alameda on an officers arm like me on the bandnight4| my eyes flash my bust that they havent passion God help their head I knew more about men and life when I was 15 than theyll all know at 50 they dont know how to sing a song like that Gardner said no man could look at my mouth and teeth smiling like that and not think of it |4I was afraid he mightnt like my accent first he so English4| let them get a husband first thats fit to be looked at and a daughter like mine or see if they can excite a swell with money that can pick and choose whoever he wants like Boylan to do it 5 or 6 times locked in each others arms or the voice either comes lo-oves old deep down chin back not too much make it double |4My Ladys Bower is too long for an encore |aabout the moated grange at twilight and vaulted roomsa| yes Ill sing Winds that blow from the south that he gave after the choirstairs performance4| my hole is itching me I feel some wind in me better go easy not wake him have him at it again slobbering after washing every bit of myself back belly and sides I wish hed sleep in some bed by himself with his cold feet on me give us room even to let a fart God or do the least thing better yes hold them like
{u17, 696}
that a bit on my side piano quietly sweeeee theres that train far away pianissimo |4eeeee eeeeeeeeº4| one more tsong.

That was a relief wherever you be let your wind go free I hope that lamp is not smoking fill my nose up with smuts better than having him leaving the gas on all night I couldnt rest easy in my bed in Gibraltar even getting up to see why am I so damned nervous about that though I like it in the winter its more company O Lord it was rotten cold too that winter when I was only about ten was I yes I had the big doll with all the funny clothes dressing her up and undressing that icy wind skeeting across from those mountains the something Nevada sierra nevada standing at the fire with the little bit of a short shift I had up to heat myself I loved dancing about in it then make a race back into bed Im sure that fellow opposite used to be there the whole time watching with the lights out in the summer and I in my skin hopping around I used to love myself then stripped at the washstand dabbing and creaming goodbye to my sleep for this night anyhow I hope hes not going to get in with those medicals leading him astray to imagine hes young again coming in waking me up at 2 in the morning it must be if not more what do they find to gabber about all night squandering money and getting drunker and drunker then he starts giving us his orders for eggs and tea and Finnan haddy and hot buttered toast I suppose well have him sitting up like a king pumping the wrong end of the spoon up and down in his egg wherever he learned that and I love to hear him falling up the stairs of a morning with the cups rattling on the tray and then play with the cat I wonder has she fleas shes as bad as a woman always licking and lecking but I hate their claws I wonder do they see anything that we cant staring like that always
{u22, 715}
what a robber too that lovely fresh plaice I bought I think Ill get a bit of fish tomorrow or today it is Friday yes I will with some blancmange with black currant jam like long ago not those 2 lb pots of mixed plum and apple from the London and Newcastle Williams and Woods goes twice as far only for the bones I hate those eels cod yes Ill get a nice piece of cod Im always getting enough for 3 forgetting anyway Im sick of that everlasting butchers meat or a picnic suppose we drove out to the furry glen or the strawberry
{u17, 697}
beds with some cold veal and ham mixed sandwiches there are little houses down at the bottom of the banks there on purpose but its |4so as4| hot as blazes he says not a bank holiday anyhow I hate those ruck out for the day Whit Monday is a cursed day too no wonder that bee bit him better the seaside but Id never again in this life get into a boat with him after him at Bray telling the boatman he knew how to row if anyone asked could he ride the steeplechase for the gold cup hed say yes then it came on to get rough the old thing crookeding about and the weight all down my side telling me pull the right reins now pull the left and the tide all swamping in through the bottom and his oar slipping out of the stirrup its a mercy we werent all drowned he can swim of course me no theres no danger whatsoever keep yourself calm in his flannel trousers Id like to have tattered them down off him before all the people and give him what that one calls flagellate do him all the good in the world only for that longnosed chap I dont know who he |4is4| with that other beauty Burke out of the City Arms hotel was there spying around as usual on the slip youd vomit a better face I wonder what kind is that book he brought me Sweets of Sin by a gentleman of fashion some other Mr de Kock I suppose the people gave him that nickname going about with his tube from one woman to another I couldnt even change my new white shoes all ruined with the saltwater how annoying and provoking because the smell of the sea excited me of course the sardines and the bream in Catalan bay round the back of the rock they were fine all silver in the fishermens baskets old Luigi near a hundred they said came from Genoa and the tall old chap with
{u22, 716}
the earrings I dont like a man you have to climb up to to get at I suppose theyre all dead and rotten long ago besides I dont like being alone in this big barracks of a place at night I suppose Ill have to put up with it I never brought a bit of salt in even when we moved in the confusion musical academy he was going to make on the first floor drawingroom with a brassplate like all the things he told father he was going to do and me but I saw through him telling me all the lovely places we could go for the honeymoon Venice by moonlight with the gondolas and the lake of Como he had a picture cut out of some paper of and mandolines and lanterns O how nice I said whatever I liked he was going to do immediately if not sooner will you be my man will you carry my can he ought to get a leather medal with a putty rim for all the plans he invents then leaving us here all day youd never know what old
{u17, 698}
beggar at the door for a crust with his long story might be a tramp and put his foot in the way to prevent me shutting it like that picture of that hardened criminal he was called in Lloyds Weekly news 20 years in jail then he comes out and murders an old woman for her money imagine his poor wife or mother or whoever she is such a face youd run miles away from I couldnt rest easy till I bolted all the doors and windows to makesure but its worse again being locked up like in a prison or a madhouse they ought to be all shot or the cat of nine tails a big brute like that that would attack a poor old woman to murder her in her bed Id cut them off him so I would not that hed be much use still better than nothing the night I thought I heard burglars in the kitchen and he went down in his shirt with a candle and a poker as white as a sheet frightened out of his wits making as much noise as he possibly could for |4their the burglars4| benefit there isnt much to steal indeed the Lord knows still its the feeling especially now with Milly away such an idea for him to send the girl down there to learn to take photographs only hed do a thing like that all the same on account of me and Boylan thats why he did it Im certain the way he plots and plans everything out I couldnt turn round with her in the place lately gave me the fidgets coming in without knocking first when I put the chair against the door just as I was washing myself there |4below4| with the glove get on your nerves then doing the loglady all day put her in a glasscase with two at a time to look at her if he knew she broke off the hand off that little gimcrack statue with her roughness and carelessness that I got that little Italian
{u22, 717}
boy to mend so that you |4wouldnt cant4| see the join for two shillings wouldnt even teem the potatoes for you of course shes right not to ruin her hands I noticed he was always talking to her lately at the table explaining things in the paper and she pretending to understand sly of course that comes from his side of the house he cant say I pretend things can he Im too honest as a matter of fact I suppose he thinks Im finished out and laid on the shelf well Im not no nor anything like it shes well on for flirting too with Tom Devans two sons imitating me whistling with those romps of Murray girls calling for her can Milly come out please shes in great demand to pick what they can out of her round in Nelson street riding Harry Devans bicycle at night its as well he sent her where she is she was just getting out of bounds wanting to go on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes I smelt it off her dress when I was biting off the thread of the button I sewed on to the bottom of her jacket she couldnt hide much from me only I oughtnt to have stitched it and it on her it brings a parting and the last plumpudding too split in 2 halves see it comes out no matter what they say her tongue is too long for my taste your blouse is open too low she says to me the pan calling the kettle blackbottom and I had to tell her not to cock her legs up like that on show on the windowsill before all the people passing they all look at her like me when I was her age of course any old rag looks well on you then a great touchmenot too in her own way at the Only Way in the Theatre royal take your foot away out of that I hate people touching me afraid of her life Id crush her skirt with the pleats a lot of that touching must go on in theatres in the crush in the dark theyre always trying to wiggle up to you that fellow in the pit at the Gaiety for Beerbohm Tree in Trilby the last time Ill ever go there to be squashed like that for any Trilby |4or barebum4| every two minutes tipping me there and looking away hes a bit daft I think I saw him after trying to get near two stylishdressed ladies outside Switzers window at the same little game I recognised him on the moment but he didnt remember me and she didnt even want me to kiss her at the Broadstone going away well I hope shell get someone to dance attendance on her the way I did when she was down with the mumps wheres this and wheres that of course she cant feel anything deep yet I never came properly till I was what twentytwo or so only the usual girls nonsense and giggling that Conny Connolly writing to her in white ink on black paper sealed with sealingwax though she clapped
{u22, 718}
when the curtain came down because he looked so handsome then we had Martin Harvey for breakfast dinner and supper I thought to myself afterwards it must be real love if a man gives up his life for her that way for nothing I suppose there are a few men like that left its hard to believe in it though unless it really happened to me the majority of them with not a particle of love in their natures to find two people like that nowadays full up of each other theyre usually a bit foolish in the head shes always making love to my things too the few old rags I have wanting to put her hair up at fifteen my powder too only ruin her skin on her shes time enough for that all her life after of course shes restless knowing shes pretty I was too but theres no use going to the fair with the thing answering me like a fishwoman when I asked to go for a half a stone of potatoes the day we met Mrs Joe Gallaher at the trottingmatches and she pretended not to see us in her trap with Friery the solicitor we werent grand enough till I gave her a damn fine crack across the ear for herself take that now for answering me like that she had me that exasperated that was the last time she turned on the teartap I was just like that myself they darent order me about the place its his fault of course having the two of us slaving here instead of getting in a woman long ago am I ever going to have a proper servant again that old Mrs Fleming you have to be walking round after her putting the things into her hands sneezing and farting into the pots well of course shes old she cant help it a good job I found that rotten old smelly dishcloth that got lost behind the dresser I knew there was something and opened the window to let out the smell bringing in his friends to entertain them especially Simon Dedalus son his father such a criticiser with his glasses up with his tall hat on him at the cricket match and a great big hole in his sock one thing laughing at the other and his son that got all those prizes for whatever he won them in the intermediate imagine hawking him down into the dirty old kitchen now is he right in his head I ask my old pair of drawers might have been hanging up too on the line |4for on4| exhibition for all hed ever care with the ironmould mark the stupid old bundle burned on them he might think was something else and she never even rendered down the fat I told her and now shes going such as she was on account of her paralysed husband getting worse theres always something wrong with them disease or if its not that its drink and Ill have to hunt around again for someone sweet God sweet God well when Im stretched out dead in my grave I suppose Ill have some peace I want to get up a minute if Im let wait O Jesus wait yes that thing has come on me yes now wouldnt that afflict you of course all the poking and rooting he had up in me now what am I to do Friday Saturday Sunday wouldnt that pester the soul out of a body unless he likes it some men do God knows theres always something wrong with us five days |4every4| every 3 or 4 weeks usual monthly auction isnt it simply sickening that night it came on me like that the one time we were in a box that Michael Gunn gave him to see Mrs Kendal and her husband at the Gaiety something he did about insurance for him in Drimmies I was fit to be tied though I wouldnt give |4him in4| with that gentleman of fashion staring down at me with his glasses and him
{u17, 701}
the other side of me talking about Spinoza and his soul thats dead I suppose thousands of years ago I smiled the best I could all in a swamp leaning forward as if I was interested having to sit it out then to the last tag I wont forget that wife of Scarli in a hurry supposed to be a fast play about adultery that idiot in the gallery hissing |4her the woman adulteress he shouted4| I suppose he went and had a woman in the next lane running round all the back ways after to make up for it I wish he had what I had then hed boo I bet the cat itself is better off than us have we too much blood up in us or what O patience above its pouring out of me like the sea anyhow he didnt make me pregnant as big as he is I dont want to ruin the clean sheets |v4I just put on I supposev4| the clean linen I wore brought it on too damn it damn it and they always want to see a stain on the bed to know youre a virgin for them all thats troubling them theyre such fools too you could be a widow or divorced forty times over a daub of red ink would do or blackberry juice no thats too purply O let me up out of this pooh sweets of sin whoever suggested that business for women what between clothes and cooking and children this
{u22, 720}
damned old bed too jingling like the dickens I suppose they could hear us away over the other side of the town till I suggested to put the quilt on the floor with the pillow under my bottom I wonder is it nicer in the day I think it is easy I think Ill cut all this hair off me there scalding me I might look like a young girl wheres the chamber gone easy Ive a holy horror of its breaking under me after that old commode I wonder was I too heavy sitting on his knee he was so busy he never felt |4me4| easy God I remember one time I could do it out straight whistling like a man almost easy O Lord how noisy I bet he never saw a better pair of thighs than that look how white they are the smoothest place is right there between easy easy O how the waters come down at Lahore.

I wonder is there anything the matter with my insides getting that thing like that every week when was it last I Whit Monday yes its only about three weeks I ought to go to the doctor only it would be like before I married him when I had that white thing coming from me and Floey made me go to that dry old stick Dr Collins for womens diseases on Pembroke road your vagina he called |4it4| I suppose thats how he got all the gilt mirrors and carpets getting round those rich ones off Stephens
{u17, 702}
green running up to him for every little fiddlefaddle her vagina and her cochinchina theyve money of course so theyre all right I wouldnt marry him not if he was the last man in the world smelling around those filthy bitches all sides asking me if what I did had an offensive odour what did he want me to do but the one thing gold maybe what a question if I smathered it all over his wrinkly old face for him I suppose hed know then thats a very nice invention too by the way only I like letting myself down after as far as I can squeeze and pull the chain then to flush it nice cool pins and needles still theres something in it I suppose I always used to know by Millys when she was a child whether she was well or not still all the same paying him for that how much
{u22, 721}
is that doctor one guinea please and asking me had I frequent omissions where do those old fellows get all the words they have omissions with his shortsighted eyes on me cocked sideways I wouldnt trust him too far to give me chloroform or God knows what else he was clever enough to spot that of course that was all thinking of him and his mad crazy letters my Precious one everything connected with your glorious body everything underlined that comes from it is a thing of beauty and of joy for ever something he got out of some book that he had me always at myself four and five times a day sometimes and I said I hadnt are you sure O yes I said I am quite sure in a way that shut him up I knew what was coming next only natural weakness it was he excited me I dont know how the first night ever we met when I was living in Rehoboth terrace we stood staring at one another for about 10 minutes he used to amuse me the things he said with the half sloothering smile on him and all the Doyles said he was going to stand for a member of parliament O wasnt |4it I4| the fool to believe all his blather about home rule and the land league sending me that long strool of a song out of the Huguenots to sing in French to be more classy O beau pays de la Touraine that I never even sang once then might he as a great favour the very 1st opportunity he got a chance in Brighton square running into my bedroom pretending the ink got on his hands to wash it off with the Albion milk and sulphur soap I used to use and the gelatine still round it O I laughed myself sick at him that day I better not make an allnight sitting on this affair they ought to make them a bit bigger so that a woman could sit on it properly
{u17, 703}
he kneels down to do it I suppose there isnt in all creation another man with the habits he has look at the way hes sleeping at the foot of the bed its well he doesnt kick or he might knock out all my teeth breathing with his hand on his nose like that Indian god he took me to show one wet Sunday in the museum in Kildare street all yellow in a pinafore lying on his side on his hand with his ten toes sticking out that he said was a bigger religion than the jews and Our Lords |4put4| together all over Asia imitating him as hes always imitating everybody I suppose he used to sleep at the foot of the bed too with his big square feet up in his wifes mouth damn this stinking thing anyway wheres this those napkins
{u22, 722}
are ah yes I know I hope the old press doesnt creak ah I knew it would hes sleeping hard still she must have given him great value for his money of course he has to pay for it from her O this nuisance of a thing I hope theyll have something better for us in the other world tying ourselves up God help us thats all right for tonight now the lumpy old jingly bed always reminds me of old Cohen I suppose he scratched himself in it often enough easy piano God here we are as bad as ever after sixteen years every time were just getting on right something happens or he puts his big foot in it Thoms and Helys and Mr Cuffes and Drimmies either hes going to be run into prison over his old lottery tickets that was to be all our salvations or he goes and gives impudence well have him coming home with the sack soon out of the Freeman too like the rest on account of those Sinner Fein or the freemasons then well see if the little man he showed me dribbling along in the wet all by himself round by Coadys lane will give him much consolation that he says is so capable and sincerely Irish he is indeed judging by the sincerity of the trousers I saw on him wait theres Georges church bells wait three quarters the hour one two oclock well thats a nice hour for him to be coming home at to anybody climbing down into the area if anybody saw him Ill knock him off that little habit tomorrow first Ill see if he has that French letter still in his pocketbook I suppose he thinks I dont know then tucked up in bed like those babies in the Aristocrats
{u17, 704}
Masterpiece he brought me another time as if we hadnt enough of that in real life without some old Aristocrat or whatever his name is disgusting you more with those rotten pictures children with two heads and no legs thats the kind of villainy theyre always dreaming about with not another thing in their empty heads then tea and toast for him and newlaid eggs I suppose Im nothing any
{u22, 723}
more when I wouldnt let |4him4| lick me in Holles street one night man man tyrant as ever for the one thing he slept on the floor half the night naked and wouldnt eat any breakfast or speak a word wanting to be petted so I thought I stood out enough for one time and let him he does it all wrong too thinking only of his own pleasure he forgets that wethen I dont Ill make him do it again if he doesnt mind himself I wonder was it her Josie |4off her head with my castoffs4| hes such a born liar too no hed never have the courage with a married woman thats why he wants me and Boylan though as for Denis as she calls him that forlornlooking spectacle you couldnt call him a husband yes its some little bitch hes got in with even when I was with him with Milly at the College races that Hornblower with the hat on |4him his nob4| let us into he was throwing his sheeps eyes at those two I tried to wink at him first no use of course and thats the way his money goes this is the fruits of Mr Paddy Dignam yes they were all in great style at the grand funeral in the paper Boylan brought in L Boom and Tom Kernan that drunken little barrelly man that bit his tongue off falling down the mens W C drunk in some place or other and Martin Cunningham and the two Dedaluses and Fanny MCoys husband white head of cabbage skinny thing with a turn in her eye trying to sing my songs shed want to be born all over again and her old green dress like dabbling on a rainy day I see it all now plainly and they call that friendship killing and then burying one another and they all with their wives and families at home more especially Jack Power keeping that barmaid he does of course his wife is always sick or going to be sick or just getting better of it and hes a goodlooking man still though hes getting a bit grey over the ears theyre a nice lot all of them well theyre not going to get my husband again into their clutches if I can help it making fun of him then behind his back I know well when he goes on with his idiotics because he has sense enough not to squander every penny piece he earns down their gullets goodfornothings poor Paddy Dignam all the same Im sorry in a way
{u17, 705}
for him what are his wife and five children going to do unless he was insured comical little teetotum always stuck up in some pub corner and her or her son waiting Bill
{u22, 724}
Bailey wont you please come home what men wasnt he yes he was at the Glencree dinner and Ben Dollard base barreltone the night he borrowed the swallowtail to sing out of in Holles street squeezed and squashed into them and grinning all over his big Dolly face didnt he look a balmy ballocks sure enough that must have been a spectacle on the stage imagine paying 5/- in the preserved seats for that and Simon Dedalus too he was always turning up half screwed singing the second verse first the old love is the new was one of his so sweetly sang the maiden on the hawthorn bough he was always on for flirtyfying too when I sang Maritana with him at Freddy Mayers private opera he had a delicious glorious voice Phoebe dearest goodbye sweetheart sweetheart he always sang it not like Bartell D'Arcy sweet tart goodbye of course he had the gift of the voice so there was no art in it all over you like a warm showerbath O Maritana wildwood flower we sang splendidly though it was a bit too high for my register even transposed and he was married at the time to May Goulding but then hed say or do something to knock the good out of it hes a widower now I wonder what sort is his son he says hes an author and going to be a university professor of Italian and Im to take lessons what is he driving at now I saw him driving down to the Kingsbridge station with his father and mother I was in mourning thats eleven years ago now yes hed be eleven though what was the good in going into mourning for what was neither one thing nor the other |v4the first cry was enough for me I heard the deathwatch too ticking in the wallv4| of course he insisted hed go into mourning for the cat I suppose hes a man now by this time he was an innocent boy then and a darling little |4boy fellow4| in his lord Fauntleroy suit and curly hair like a prince on the stage when I saw him at Mat Dillons he liked me too I remember they all do wait by God he was on the cards this morning when I laid out the deck a young stranger you met before I thought it meant him but hes no chicken nor a stranger either didnt I dream something too yes there was something about poetry in it I hope he hasnt long greasy hair what do they go about
{u17, 706}
like that for only getting themselves and their poetry laughed at I always liked poetry when I was a girl first I thought he was a poet like Byron and not an ounce of it in his composition I thought he was quite different I wonder is he too young hes about wait 88 I was married 88 Milly is 15 yesterday 89 what age was he then at Dillons 5 or 6 about 88 I suppose hes 20 or more Im not too old for him if hes 23 or 24 I hope hes not that stuck up university sort no otherwise he wouldnt go sitting down in the old kitchen with him taking Eppss cocoa and talking of course he pretended to understand it all probably he told him he was out of Trinity college hes very young to be a professor I hope hes not a professor like Goodwin was they all write about some woman in their poetry well I suppose he wont find many like me where softly sighs of love the light guitar where poetry is in the air the blue sea and the moon shining so beautifully coming back on the nightboat from Tarifa the guitar that fellow played was so expressive will I ever go back there again all new faces two glancing eyes a lattice hid Ill sing that for him theyre my eyes if hes anything of a poet two eyes as softly bright as loves young star arent those beautiful words as loves young star itll be a change the Lord knows to have an intelligent person to talk to about yourself not always listening to him and Billy Prescotts ad and Keyess ad and Tom the Devils ad Im sure hes very distinguished Id like to meet a man like that God not those other ruck besides hes young those fine young men I could see down in Margate strand bathingplace from the side of the rock standing up in the sun naked like a god or something and then plunging into the sea with them why arent all men like that thered be some consolation for |4us a woman4| like that lovely little statue he bought I could look at him all day long curly head and his shoulders his finger up for you to listen theres real beauty and poetry for you I often felt I wanted to kiss him all over also his lovely young cock there so simple I wouldnt mind taking him in my mouth if nobody was looking so clean and white he looks with his boyish face itll be grand if I can only get in with a handsome young poet at my age Ill read and study all I can find so he wont think me stupid and I can teach him the other part Ill make him feel all over him then hell write about me lover and mistress publicly too with our photographs in the papers when he becomes famous O but then what am I going to do about him though?

No thats no way for him has he no manners |4or nor4| no refinement in his nature slapping us behind like that on my bottom thats what you get for not keeping them in their proper place of course hes right enough in his way to pass the time as a joke O well I suppose its because they were so plump and tempting in my short petticoat he couldnt resist they excite myself sometimes its well for men all the amount of pleasure they get off a womans body were so round and white for them always I wished I was one myself for a change just to try with that thing they have swelling up on you so hard and at the same time so soft when you touch it my uncle John has a thing long I heard those cornerboys saying passing the corner of Marrowbone lane my aunt Mary has a thing hairy because it was dark and they knew a girl was passing it didnt make me blush why should it either its only nature and he puts his thing long into my aunt Marys hairy etcetera and turns out to be you put the handle in a sweepingbrush men again all over they can pick and choose what they please a married woman or a fast widow or a girl for their different tastes |4like those houses round behind Irish street4| no but were to be always chained up theyre not going to be chaining me up no fear once I start I tell you for their stupid husbands jealousy why cant we all remain friends over it instead of quarrelling her husband found it out well and if he did can he undo it and then he going to the other mad extreme about the wife in Fair Tyrants of course the man never even casts a 2nd thought on the husband or wife either its the woman he wants and he gets her what else were we given
{u22, 727}
all those desires for Id like to know I cant help it if Im young still can I its a wonder Im not an old shrivelled hag before my time living with him so cold never embracing me except sometimes when hes asleep the wrong end of me not knowing I suppose who he has any man thatd kiss a womans bottom Id throw my hat at him after that unnatural where we havent an atom of any kind of expression in us all of us the same two lumps of lard before ever Id do that to a man |4pui pfooh4| the dirty brutes the mere thought is enough of course a woman wants to be embraced 20 times a day almost to make her look young no matter by who so long as to be in love or loved by somebody if the fellow you want isnt there sometimes by God I was thinking would I go around by the quays there some dark evening where nobodyd know me and pick up a sailor off the sea thatd be hot on for it and not care a pin whose I was only do it off up in a gate somewhere |4or one of those wildlooking gipsies ha in Rathfarnham had their camp pitched near the Bloomfield laundry to try and steal our things if they could I only sent my mine there a few times for the name model laundry sending me back over and over some old ones odd stockings that blackguard looking fellow with the fine eyes peeling a switch attack me in the dark and ride me up against the wall without a word4| what they do themselves the fine gentlemen in their silk hats that K. C. lives up somewhere this way coming out of Hardwicke lane the night he gave us the fish supper on account of winning over the boxing match I knew him by his gaiters and the walk and when I turned round a minute after there was a woman after coming out of it too some filthy prostitute then he goes home to his wife after that only I suppose the half of those sailors are rotten again with disease O move over your big carcass out of that for the love of Mike so well he may sleep and Im to be slooching around down in the kitchen to get his lordship his breakfast will I indeed Id just like to see myself at it |4show them attention and they treat you like dirt4| I dont care what anybody says itd be much better for the world to be governed by the women in it you wouldnt see women going and
{u22, 728}
killing one another and slaughtering when do you ever see women rolling around drunk like they do or gambling every penny they have and losing it on horses yes because a woman whatever she does she knows where to stop sure they wouldnt be in the world at all only for us they dont know what it is to be a woman and a mother how could they where would they all of them be if they hadnt all a mother to look after them thats why I suppose hes running wild now out at night away from his books and studies and not living at home on account of the usual rowy house I suppose you see those that have a fine son like that theyre not satisfied and I none was he not able to make one |4it wasnt my fault we came together when I was watching the two dogs up in her behind in the middle of the naked street4| that disheartened
{u17, 709}
me altogether I suppose I oughtnt to have buried him in that little woolly jacket I knitted crying as I was but give it to some poor child but I knew well Id never have another O Im not going to think myself into the glooms about that any more I wonder why he wouldnt stay the night I felt all the time it was somebody strange he brought in instead of roving around the city meeting God knows who nightwalkers and pickpockets his poor mother wouldnt like that if she was alive ruining himself for life perhaps he could easy have slept in there on the sofa I suppose he was as shy as a boy he being so young hardly 20 of me in the next room hed have heard me on the chamber arrah what harm Dedalus I wonder its like those names in Gibraltar Delapaz Delagracia they had the devils queer names there father Vilaplana of Santa Maria that gave me the rosary Rosales y O'Reilly in the Calle las Siete Revueltas and Pisimbo and Mrs Opisso in Governor street O what a name Id go and drown myself in the first river if I had a name like her O my and all the bits of streets Paradise ramp and Bedlam ramp and Rodgers ramp and the devils gap steps well small blame to me if I am a harumscarum I know I am a bit I declare to God I dont feel a day older than then I wonder could I get my tongue round any of the Spanish como esta usted muy bien gracias y usted see I havent forgotten it all I thought I had |4only for the grammar a noun is the name of any person place
{u22, 729}
or thing
4| pity I never tried to read that novel cantankerous Mrs Rubio lent me by Valera with the questions in it all upside down the two ways I can tell him the Spanish and he tell me the Italian then hell see Im not so ignorant what a pity he didnt stay Im sure the poor fellow wanted a good sleep badly I could have brought him in his breakfast in bed with a bit of toast so as I didnt do it on the knife for bad luck or if the woman was going her rounds with the watercress and ground ivy something nice and tasty I could do the criada the room looks all right since I changed it the other way you see something was telling me all the time Id have to introduce myself not knowing me from Adam very funny wouldnt it Im his wife or pretend we were in Spain with him half awake without a Gods notion where he is dos huevos estrellados senor Lord the cracked things come into my head sometimes itd be great fun supposing he stayed with us why not theres the room upstairs empty and
{u17, 710}
Millys bed in the back room Im sure Im not going to take in lodgers off the street |4for him if he takes a gesabo of a house like this4| Id love to have a long talk with an intelligent welleducated person Id have to get a nice pair of red slippers like those Turks with the fez used to sell or yellow and a nice semitransparent morning gown that I badly want Ill just give him one more chance Ill get up early in the morning Im sick of Cohens old bed in any case then Ill throw him up his eggs and tea I know what Ill do Ill go about rather gay not too much singing a bit now and then mi fa pieta Masetto then Ill start dressing myself to go out presto non son più forte Ill put on my best shift and drawers let him have a good eyeful out of that to make |4him his micky4| stand Ill let him know if thats what he wanted that his wife is fucked
{u22, 730}
and damn well fucked too not by him 4 or 5 times running |4theres the mark of his spunk on the clean sheet I was wouldnt bother to even iron it out that ought to satisfy him if you dont believe me feel my belly Ive a mind to tell him every scrap and make him do it outº in front of me4| serve him right its all his own fault if I am an adulteress as the thing in the gallery said O much about it if thats all the harm ever we did in this vale of tears God knows its not much I suppose thats what a woman is supposed to be there for or He wouldn't have made us the way He did |4so attractive to men4| then if he wants to kiss my bottom Ill stick it out in his face as large as life |4he can stick his tongue in my hole if as hes there4| then Ill tell him I want £1 or perhaps 30/- Ill tell him I want to buy underclothes then if he gives me that well he wont be too bad Ill let him do it off on me behind provided he doesnt smear all my good drawers O I suppose that cant be helped Ill do the indifferent one or two questions Ill know by the answers when hes like that he cant keep a thing back Ill tighten my bottom well and let out a few smutty words |4smellrump or lick my shit or the first |amada| thing comes into my head4| then Ill suggest about yes O wait now my turn is coming Ill be quite gay and friendly over it O but I was forgetting this bloody pest of a thing pfooh |4you wouldnt know which to laugh or cry were such a mixture of plum and apple4| no Ill have to wear the old things so much the better itll be more pointed hell never know whether he did it or not there thats good enough for you any old thing at all then Ill wipe him off me just like a business |4his omission4| then Ill go out Ill have eying up at the ceiling where is she gone now |4a quarter after what an unearthly hour well soon have the nuns ringing the angelus theyve nobody coming in to spoil their sleep except an odd priest or two orº the alarmclock next door at cockshout clattering the brains out of itself let me see if I can doze off one two three four five what kind of flowers are those they invented the wallpaper in Lombard street was much nicer4| Ill go to Lambes there beside
{u22, 731}
Findlaters and get them to send us some flowers to put about the place in case he brings him home tomorrow today I mean no no Fridays an unlucky day first I want to do the place up someway then we can have music and cigarettes those fairy cakes in Liptons at 7½d a lb or the other ones with the cherries in them and the pinky sugar 11d a couple of lbs of those a nice plant for the middle of the table Id get that cheaper in wait wheres |4this4| I saw them not long ago I love flowers Id love to have the whole place swimming in roses theres nothing like nature the wild mountains then the sea and the waves rushing then the beautiful country with the fields of oats and wheat and all kinds of things and all the fine cattle going about that would do your heart good to see rivers and lakes and flowers all sorts of shapes and smells and colours springing up even out of the ditches primroses and violets nature it is as for them saying theres no God I wouldnt give a snap of my two fingers for all their learning why dont they go and create something I often asked him atheists or whatever they call themselves go and wash the cobbles off themselves first then they go howling for the priest and they dying and why why because theyre afraid ah yes I know them well who was the first person in the universe before there was anybody that made it all |4who ah4| that they dont know neither do I so there you are they might as well try to stop the sun from rising the sun shines for you he said the day we were
{u17, 712}
lying among the rhododendrons on Howth head |4in the grey tweed suit and his straw hat4| the day I got him to propose to me yes and it was leapyear like now yes sixteen years ago my God after that long kiss I near lost my breath yes he said I was a flower of the mountain yes so we are flowers all a womans body yes that was one true thing he said in his life and the sun shines for you today yes that was why I liked him because I saw he understood or felt what a woman is and I knew I could always get round him and I gave him all the pleasure I could leading him on till he asked me to say yes and I wouldnt answer first only looked out over the sea and the sky I was thinking of so many things he didnt know of Mulvey and Mr Stanhope and Hester and father and old captain Groves and the |4figtrees in the4| Alameda gardens |4and cactuses4| and Gibraltar as a girl where I was a flower of the mountain |4when I put the red rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used shall I wear a white rose4| and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again and then he asked me would I to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume |4yes and his heart was going like mad4| and I said I will yes.

|s4Trieste-Zurich-Paris Trieste-Zurich-Paris,s4|
|s41914-1921 1914-1921.s4|