— How good you are! But could you, of course, decent Lettrechaun (to change your name if not your nation), we knew, while still in the barrel, read the strangewrote anaglyptics of those Shemletters patent for His Christian's Em?
— Greek! Shaun replied, pointing to the cinnamon quill behind his acoustrolobe. Look at that for a ridingpin! |7I am By Senlarynx
(+By St Larynx I am I am,º by St Larynx,º+)7| letterpotent to play the same backwards like anything off the types
of my finklers in the draught or with bottles, with my ops thickshut and all. But it is horrebrew bad on the corns and callouses. As far as that goes I associate myself with your remark just now re furloined notepaper and quite agree in your prescriptions for indeed I am|7, pay Gay,º7| in juxtaposition to say it is not a nice production. It is a pinch of scribble. Overdrawn! Nothing beyond clerical horrors et omnibus to be entered for the foreign as secondclass matter.
Flummery is what I would call it if you were to ask me to put it on a single dimension what pronounced opinion I might possibly have about them bagses of trash which the mother and Mr Unmentionable has reduced to writing without making news out of my sootyname. An infant sailing eggshells on the floor of a wet day would have more sabby.
Letter, carried of Shaun, son of Hek, written of Shem, brother of Shaun, for Alp, mother of Shem, for Hek, father of Shaun.
— Kind Shaun, we all requested, much as we hate to say it but since you rose to the use of money have you not, without suggesting for an instant, millions of ways used up slanguage ten times as worse as the penmarks used out |7with such hesitancy7| by your cerebrated brother — excuse me not mentioningahem?
— CelebrAted! Shaun replied |7in the broguish7|, vigorously rubbing his magic lantern to a glow of fullconsciousness. |7HesitEncy!7| Notorious I rather would feel inclined to myself in the first place to describe Mr O'Shem the Draper as should I be called upon to pass my opinions |7(+into impulsory irelit+)7|. But I would not care to be so insulting to my own part as to swear for the moment positively as to the views of Denmark but let me say my every belief before my high Gee is that I much doubt of it. She, the mother, was put up to it by him, the iniquity, that ought to be placed in irons into some drapery institution off the antipopees for wordsharping only if he could pass the panel doctors. For that is well celibated before the four divorce courts and all the King's wenches how he has seen snakes and has consumption on his premises where he can be thinking himself to death. Rot him! Flannelfeet! Homo! Then putting his bedfellow on me! Is he on whosekeeping or are my? With his unique hornbook and his prince of the apauper's pride, blundering all over the two worlds! If he waits till I buy him a |7musselman's7| present! He's no halfcousin of mine, pigdish! Nor wants to! |7|aAham! A ham!ºa|7|
— May we petition you, Shaun illustrious, then, to unravel in your own sweet words to your very humble and most obsequient, we suggested, as to how?
— You may and welcome, Shaun replied, taking at the same time a hearty bite out of the honeycomb of his hat. Ann wunkum. Sure I thunkum you knew all about that through thelementary channels long agum. Sure that is as commonpleas now and bunkum as Nelson his pillar. For two days she kept howling down for noisy priors and bawling out in Shemish and him like an ambitrickster, slooped in his polthronechair with his sixth finger between his catseye and the index, engrossing to his ganderpan what he invented under hicks hyssop. I gave him that toock, imitator! And it was entirely theck latter to blame. It was given meeck to assist at the whole thing byck special chancery licence. As often as I think of that unbloody housewarmer Shem Skrivenitch, always cutting my prhose to please his phrase, |7|abegor bigorrorºa|,7| I declare I get the jawache! You know, he's peculiar, that eggschicker. He was grey at three. Then he was (+7pushed pusched+)7| out of school for itching. |7Then he caught the europicolas.7| One temp the freak wanted to put his bilingual head intentionally through the Irish Tames |7(+and go and join the clergy+)7|. Inkupot! Your puddin is cooked! You're served, cram ye! |7(+Fatefully yours.+)7|
— But for what, Shaun of grace? weakly we went on to ask now of the gracious one. Vouchsafe to say. You will now, goodness, won't you?
— For his language, Shaun replied as he blessed himself devotionally like a crossbun, (what the thickuns else?) which he picksticked into his lettruce invrention.
— But you could come near it, we |7do7| suppose, strong Shaun O', we |7supposed foresupposedº7|.
— Peace! Peace! Shaun replied in penultimatum. |7I mightº as well be talking to the
|afoura| waves.7| No-one in his senses could, as I have before said, only you missed my drift, for it's being incendiary. The lowquacity of him!
With his threestar monothong! The last word in stolentelling! And what's more, rightdown lowbrown schisthematic robblemint! Yes. As he was rising
my lather. Like you. And as I was plucking his goosybone. Like yea. He store the tale of me shir. Like yup.
— Still in a way, not to flatter you, we fancy you that are so strikingly brainy and well letterread on yourshelves could use worse of yourself, ingenious Shaun, we still fancied, if only you would take the trouble of so doing it.
— Undoubtedly but that is show, Shaun replied, |7the muttermelk beginning to work,º7| and by the power of blurry wards I could do it (I am convicted of it!) any time ever I liked with the greatest transfusiasm
as, you see, while I can |7talk soloquiseº7| better than most, it is an openear secret, be it said, how I am
extremely ingenuous at the clerking even with my left hand and as easy as |7a bottle of the best I'd perorate a chickerow
of peas7| and my trifolium librotto would far exceed what that bogus bolshy of a Shame, my soamheis brother, is conversant with in audible black and prink. And one of these fine days, man dear, that I may cut my throat with my tongue tonight but I
|7will may willhapº7| be moved to introvent it just like a work of merit, mark my words, that will open your
eye for you, broather brooher, only for as an immature and a hundred and one other things I would never for anything take so much trouble of so doing. And why so? Because I am altogether a chap too fly and hairyman for to do the like of that. And by all I hold sacred I swear to you on my pipe
and oath by the awe of Shaun (and that's a hell of a name!) that I will commission to the flames any incendiarist whosoever who would endeavour to set ever (+7a anny roner+)7| moother of mine on fire. I will soho!
And big hottempered husky pugiliser such as he was, he all but broke down on the mooherhead,
overpowered by himself with the love of the tearsilver that he twined through her hair, for sure he was the soft slob of the world and as innocent as the freshfallen calf. Still he laughed it off with a gulp apologetic. Mind you, that he was in the dumpest of earnest orthough him jawr war hoo hleepy hor halk urthing hurther. Like that only he stopped short and, in looking up from his timeshackled wrists upon the (7heavens heathvens of jewpeter7) as they were not but will be to feel out what age he might find by Charles' Wain his thumbs fell into his fists and(7, losing theº harmonical balance of his ballbearing extremities,7) over he (7balanced careened7) by the mightyfine weight of his barrel and, as the wisest course he could take, collapsed together and rolled buoyantly backwards in less than a twinkling via Rattigan's corner out of further earshot with his highly curious mode of slipashod motion with corks and staves and (7treeleaves and7) more bubbles to his keelrow a fairish and easy way enough behind the times in the direction of MacAuliffe's, the crucethouse, before he was really uprighted.
Well, it is to be regretted that thou art passing hence, able Shaun, from carnal relations and familiar faces, more is the pity, but for all your deeds of goodness you were forever doing, as our humbler classes, whose favourite virtue is humility, can tell, it is hardly we can part you, for you were the walking saint, you were. Musha, be thinking of us poor twelve o'clock scholars
sometime or other |7any time anywhen7| you find the time. Wisha, be coming back to us one way or the other anyhow, we miss your smile.
And may the moss of prosperousness gather you rolling home! May foggy dews bediamondise your hooprings! May the fireplug of filiality reinsure your bunghole! May the barleywind behind glow luck to your bathershins! 'Tis well we know you were loth to leave us, winding your hobbledehorn, right royal post, but sure, pulse of our slumber, you will round up some boxing day or other (7digging snowº7) like the good man you are with your pockets turned inside out for fresh remittances, and from that till this in any case may the grass grow quickly under your feet and the daisies trip lightly over your toetops.