— |5Howº good you are5| |5Now but now5| could you, of course, decent |5Shaun Lettrechaun to change your name ifº not your nation5|, we knew, while still in the barrel, read the strangewritten |5Shemtongue anaglyptics5| of those |5letters Shemlettersº5| patent to His Em.
— |5Read! Greek?5| Shaun |5replied.
replied,º pointing to the cinnamon quill behind his ear, Look at that for a ridingpin!5| I am
|5most potent letterpotentº5| to play |5it
the same5| backwards like anything |5on draught and in bottle5| with my eyes shut and all. But it is
|5woful horrebrew5| bad on the |5hands
corns and callouses5|. As far as that goes I associate myself with your remarks just now |5re
|astolen furloinedºa| notepaper5| and quite agree in your descriptions for indeed
|5I am in juxtaposition to say5| it is not a nice production. It is a pinch of scribble. |5Overdrawn!5| Nothing beyond clerical
|5errors horrors5| et omnia to be entered |5for the
foreigner5| as secondclass matter.
Flummery is what I would call it if you were to ask me |5to put it in a single dimension5| what pronounced opinion I might have about them bagses of trash which the mother and Mr |5Shem |aShem the Draper Unmentionablea|5| has reduced to writing |5|aunder his by making use of mya| sootyname5|. An infant sailing eggshells on the floor of a wet day would have more sabby.
Letter, carried by Shaun, son of Hec, written by Shem, brother of Shaun, for Alp, mother of Shem, about Hec, father of Shaun.
— Kind Shaun, we all requested, much as we hate to say it but since you came to the use of |5language money5| have you not, without suggesting for an instant, millions of times used |5language slanguage5| ten times as worse as the |5slanguage penmarks5| used up by your celebrated brother |5Shem — excuse me |afor not mentioning him not mentioningahema|5|?
— Celebrated! Shaun replied|5,º vigorously rubbing his |amagica| lantern to a glimmer of fullconsciousness5|. Notorious I rather would feel inclined in myself in the first place to describe Mr |5Shem O'Shem the Draper5| as should I be called upon to pass my opinion. But I would not like to be so insulting to my own self as to swear for the moment positively as to the |5other views of Denmark5| but let me say my |5every5| belief before my God is that I much doubt |5of5| it. She, the mother, was put up to it by him, the iniquity, that ought to be placed in irons into some |5draperyº5| institution |5of the antipopees5| for |5such matters wordsharping only5| if he could pass the panel doctors for that is well |5celebrated celibated before the four |adivorcea| courts |aand all the King's wenchesa|5| how he |5seen snakes and5| has consumption on the premises |5where he can |athink be thinkinga| himself to death5|. Rot him! Flannelfeet! Homo! |5Then putting |athe hisa| bedfellow on me!5| Is he on my keeping or are my? With his |5unique hornbook and his5| prince of the apauper's pride|5,º blundering |aalla| over the two worlds5|! |5If he waits till I give him a present!5| He's no |5cousin halfcousin5| of mine. Nor wants to.
— May we petition you, clean Shaun, then, to unravel in your own words to your very humble, we suggested, as to how?
— You may and welcome, Shaun replied|5, taking at the same time a hearty bite out of the honeycombº of his hat5|. |5Ann wunkum.5| Sure I thought you knew about that |5through thelementaryº channels5| long ago. Sure that is as |5well known commonplease now |aand hunkuma|5| as Nelson his pillar. For two days she kept howling |5for noisy priors5| and bawling |5in Shemish5| and him |5like an ambitrickster slooped in his chair |apolthronechair polthroonechaira|5| |5narrating engrossing5| to |5to5| his ganderpan |5with his hiccup. what he invented under hicks hyssop.5| I gave him that |5too. toock, imitator!5| And it was entirely |5the theck5| latter to blame. It was given |5me meck5| to assist at the whole thing |5by byck5| special |5chancery5| licence. As often as I think of that unbloody housewarmer Shem |5Skrivener |a|bCutting, cuttingb| |bhis myb| prose to please his phrase.a|5| I declare I get the jawache. You know, he's peculiar, that |5fellow eggschicker5|. |5Always taking a ham for a violin.5| He was grey at three. |5Fourteen hours they lasted. One |atime |btimpe tempeb|a| he wanted to put his |abilinguala| head |aintentionallya| through the Irish |aTimes Tamesa|5|. |5|aThe inkupot Inkupota|! Your pudding is cooked! You're served, damn you!5|
— But for what, Shaun of grace? |5we asked we weakly went on to ask of the gracious one5|. Vouchsafe to say. You will now, |5goodness,5| won't you?
— But you could come near it, we suppose, strong Shaun O', we supposed.
— |5No-one could, Shaun replied, Peace, peace! Shaun repliedº in penultimatum.º
No-one could,º5| as I have before said, only you missed my drift, for it's being incendiary. |5|aThe
lowquacity of him.a|
|aThe Hisa| threestarº monothong! |aThe last word in stolentelling! Yes.a| |a|bAnd what's more,ºb| Rightdown lowbrown |brobblement robblemintb|!a| |a|bYes.b| As |bI heb| was |bwrithing a riding
myb| ladder. Like you. And as I was pi picking |ba hisb| goosybone. Like |bye yeab|. |bI tore He storeb| the tail of my shirt. Like yup.a|5|
— Still in a way|5, not to flatter you,5| we fancy you that are so |5strikingly5| brainy and well lettered in yourself could use worse yourself, ingenious Shaun, we still fancied, if only you would take the trouble of so doing it.
— Undoubtedly but that is show, Shaun replied, and by the powers of |5war bloody wars5| I could
|5do |ainvent introventa|5| it
|5(I am convicted of it)5| any time ever I liked |5with the greatest
transfusiasm5| as, you see, |5while I can talk better than most5| it is an open air secret how I am extremely ingenious at the clerking even with my
left hand and as easy as |5a keg of beer a bottle of the best5| and my
|5trifoliom5| librotto would far exceed what that bogus bolshy of a Shem, my soamheis brother, is conversant with |5in audible black and
|aprint prinka|5| and one of those fine days |5that
I mayº cut my throat with my tongue tonight but5| I will be moved to
|5do introvent5| it just like a work of merit, mark my words, that will open your eye for you,
|5brother boor broather brooher5|, only for as an immature and a hundred and one other things I would never for anything take so much trouble of so doing. And why so? Because I am altogether a chap too fly and
hairy for to do the like of that. And by all I hold sacred I swear to you on my pipe
and oath by the awe of Shaun (and that's a hell of a name!) that I will commission to the flames any incendiarist whosoever who would endeavour to set ever a |5mother moother5| of mine on fire. I will |5soho. soho!5|
And big hottempered husky pugiliser such as he was, he all but broke down |5on the mooherhead5|,
overpowered by himself |5with the love of the tearsilver that he twined through her hair,º5| for sure he was the soft slob of the world and as innocent as the freshfallen calf. Still he laughed it off with a gulp apologetic. Mind you, that he was in the dumpest of earnest orthough him jawr war hoo hleepy hor halk urthing hurther. Like that only he stopped short and, in looking up |5from his timeshackled wrists5| upon the heavens as they were |5and will be not but will be5| to feel out what age he might find by Charles' Wain his thumbs fell into his fists and over he balanced by the mightyfine weight of his barrel and, as the wisest course he could take, collapsed together and rolled buoyantly backwards in less than a twinkling via Rattigan's corner out of further earshot with his highly curious mode of slipashod motion |5with corks andº |abubbles stavesa| and more bubbles to his keelrow5| a fairish and easy way enough behind the times in the direction of MacAuliffe's, the crucethouse, before he was really uprighted.
Well, it is to be regretted that thou art passing hence, able Shaun, from carnal relations and familiar faces, more is the pity, but for all your deeds of goodness you were forever |5doing doing,5| as our
humbler classes, whose favourite virtue is humility, can tell|5,5| it is hardly we can part you, for you were the walking saint, you were. Musha, be thinking of us |5poor
twelve o'clockº scholars5| sometime or other any time you find the time. |5And Wisha, be coming back to
us one way or the otherº anyhow,º |aunread we miss your smile.a|5|
And may the moss of prosperousness gather you rolling home! May foggy dews bediamondise your hooprings! May the fireplug of filiality reinsure your bunghole! May the barleywind behind glow luck to your bathershins! 'Tis well we know you were loth to leave us, winding your hobbledehorn, right royal post, but sure, pulse of our slumber, you will round up some boxing day or other like the good man you are with your pockets turned inside out for fresh remittances, and from that till this in any case may the grass grow quickly under your feet and the daisies trip lightly over your toetops.